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Hysterical Tips on Climbing: For One, Speak of Greasy Cracks

The first time I squeezed into climbing shoes, I walked like a high-strung cowboy. That, or someone with a severely broken tailbone. The look was unfortunate. 

But if climbing were about looking good, the sport would be a lost cause. There’s only so much you can do to a harness.

IFHT (which, by the way, stands for "I Fucking Hate That") nails the how-to of being a rock climber. My only comments are that climbers don’t usually have such tidy heads of hair, and boulderers are typically shirtless.

RELATED: Nature's Best Rock Climbers are the Alpine Ibex

It’s hard to single out a favorite step in this video, but a highlight is #7: learning how to understand the Yosemite decimal system. “What is reality, and what would the fourth dimension feel like” gets me every time. The “power sound” names are also hard to beat, not to mention the innuendoes. Tops are, “This is a greasy crack,” “Check out my micronuts,” and “He didn’t use protection!”

But perhaps one of the best lines is when a climber having a bad day uses the excuse, “I think I tweaked my finger on my kombucha this morning.”

This is one how-to to bookmark.  

actually i ve always been afraid of heights but once a friend of mine from http://researchpaperwritings.net/ convinced me to try rock climbing. at first it was terrific..well..i mean terrifying..still..i loved it and since then i ve been rock climbing though i wouldn’t say i overcame my fear of heights completely..not sure i ever will but am trying

actually i ve always been afraid of heights but once a friend of mine from http://researchpaperwritings.net/ convinced me to try rock climbing. at first it was terrific..well..i mean terrifying..still..i loved it and since then i ve been rock climbing though i wouldn’t say i overcame my fear of heights completely..not sure i ever will but am trying

About The Author

stash member Hannah Clayton