Cute 'n cuddly in looks, not in nature. Wikipedia photo.
Motherhood’s got to be rough. Oops, I meant tough. If all that’s entailed were posted in job description form, you’d have approximately zero sane takers. Find me one person who’d want to work 135-plus hours a week sans breaks and mostly standing up (sometimes even overnight), juggle multiple projects at once (and by “multiple,” we’re talking dozens), and—and here’s the kicker—for free.
But what they most definitely don’t tell you about motherhood is there’s also a chance you’ll have to wrestle a mountain lion.
Yep, you heard me right. Last Friday, at that time in the evening when all mothers should be deep into bottles of wine, one near the resort town of Aspen was prying open a lion’s jaws to release her five-year-old.
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According to ABC News, the kid’s whole fricken' head was apparently in the beast’s mouth. Supermom didn’t pass out though; instead, she charged the mountain lion, yanked away one of its paws, and used her very own two fists to pry open its savage jaws. Get it, girl!!
The hungry and/or diseased lion isn’t fully grown, at just two years old. Still, he caused some pretty gnarly damage. The boy was airlifted to Children’s Hospital in Denver, where he’s in fair condition, as is the mom. Mentally, maybe not so much. As per the culprit, his whereabouts are unknown. Wildlife officials did kill two mountain lions in the area shortly after the attack.
Give or take, there are 4,500 mountain lions in Colorado, and they sometimes wonder into people places for food. Over the past 26 years, the cougars have killed three people and injured 18 statewide. The last reported attack happened last July on a man fishing just 60 miles from where Friday's attack went down. He too walked away scratched and bitten.
They say being a mom’s great. Ha! Yeah right...
natanielclark@gmail.com
December 26th, 2018
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