Skier Bridger Douglas (right) experiences an "oh shit" moment. Sam Morse photo.
POW TOWN, USA — Shit got weird Wednesday morning after a pow-hungry skier was “totally busted” lying to his boss about being sick.
The incident occurred at approximately 9:37 a.m., as Douglas was attempting to load his Backstreet Boys Spotify playlist at the top of the Pow Town gondola.
Citing peer pressure, a 13-inch snow report and a general lack of maturity, 24-year-old ski town pizzeria employee Bridger Douglas made the “tough call” to skip work while deliberating over his morning bong sesh, according to eyewitness roommates.
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“He looked at the snow report, ripped the binger, then just stared at the wall for, like, 20 minutes,” roommate Shelly Conway, 22, told TGR. “Eventually, he called his boss and said he suspected he was coming down with a virulent strain of Mad Pow Disease, whatever that is…”
Upon seeing his bed-ridden, “sick” employee in full health, Pinky Cheeze shift manager and pretentious alpha supervisor Richard Face, 33, opted to make the situation as uncomfortable as possible.
“I wanted see him squirm,” Face said. “He said he was feeling better. I said he was fired — then I skied away.”
He called his boss and said he suspected he was coming down with a virulent strain of Mad Pow Disease, whatever that is…
Although down and out, the ski bum has big plans for the future, and says he’s already developed a convoluted Instagram-for-gear pyramid scheme to implement this spring.
“I was getting ‘sick’ on a metaphorical level,” Douglas argued while shuffling through unemployment documents. “But really, losing my gig at Pinky Cheeze is a blessing. Now I can focus on what’s important, like poaching hot tubs, driving pounds interstate and working on my #vanlife summer rig."
As of press time, Douglas was ripping pow and couldn’t be reached, but in a written statement, he says he “misses all the free pizza!”
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About The Author
stash member Sam Morse
TGR Editor-at-Large. author of The Ski Town Fairytale and creative behind The Bumion. Lover of steep-and-deep lines, long trails—and hot springs waiting in the distance.
Jade Lo
January 20th, 2023
If you want to do this camp, you should be at least a strong intermediate snowboarder. - https://evanstontowingco.com