Party like it's post 1999

[bklyn]

TTAKAMSATR
The thread also known as my South America Trip Report...

The gypsy cab I'm in is an old white Lincoln Town-car, driven by a young Pakistani guy. We are talking about air travel, terrorism, and skiing while speeding down South Conduit Ave toward JFK. The town-car has two speeds, slower than 20 and faster than 80. He mentions something about a bad transmission. The Lincoln probably had a glorious start in some luxurious limo fleet, ferrying the mother of the bride and whatnot, but now this trembling rust-bucket with a broken air conditioner is carrying me closer to my South American adventure.

I've left with plenty of time to get around today's terror alert, but the driver is talking as fast as that red needle on the speedometer and determined to shave time off this trip. The wind in my face from the open window combined with the g forces on every turn and my growing excitement as we follow the twisted road toward the airport leave me unable to respond for a moment.

Before I've even processed everything I'm in the airport and he's on his way to the next fare.

After a long wait in an extra long line full of angry unprepared passengers who apparently never watch the news, read the paper, or listen to the radio; it's my turn at the counter. That's when I find out, I should have went to La Guardia. Ms Menendez, behind the counter, is pushing 60 and gives me a long hard look, I can tell that for her it's been a very trying day. She's that no nonsense airline employee who's not impressed by my dimples or other assets. I'm beginning to think I might be screwed, while I face her silent tic-tap typing and pursed lips. I swear I've never done anything like this before. It's too late to taxi over to LGA and she's still typing. As impassive as ever, she's produced a boarding pass. I put my over-sized bags on the scale and one of them is 59 pounds, the other 54. She tells me she'll let it slide this time and that I should hoof it over to gate 7 in the other terminal "Pronto". I've got 20 minutes to make it through security in another building and cross my fingers that there's a seat for me, standby to DFW.

Everyone going through security seems very attached to items that can easily be replaced at any drug store. Yes, lip gloss is a liquid. Yes, nail polish is a liquid. Yes, your water is a liquid, the fact that it is "just water" still makes it a liquid. Buddy, your roll on deodorant is a liquid, but why anyone would want to make you both part ways is beyond me. He really needs it. TSA will probably have to define liquid. Good luck. My new security screening strategy is to find a straight woman behind the x-ray machine. That's a tough one. But guys and lesbians want to chat me up, while they rifle through my unmentionables. Did I mention I will miss my plane in 4 minutes?

I'm on that plane with 2 minutes to spare. As soon as my butt hit the seat we are pulling away from the gate. Damn, I have scored, I really hope my bags have made the cut. Then it starts raining. Hard. Like Noah should have built the ark. 1.5 hours later we are cleared for takeoff. I've got a two hour layover at DFW and this plane actually was scheduled to leave earlier than my original flight, so I can still squeeze through with luck.

Squeeze is the operative word, sitting in the window seat next to my fellow passenger. Oof! Sudoku from the inflight magazine, texting my friend who is also delayed, ipod and blessed sleep. Arrive in DFW with 15 minutes to make the flight to Santiago. Shuffle out of the plane to find out the next leg is delayed 3 hours. Everyone else is so pissed, they're without makeup, toothpaste and deodorant. Feeling not so fresh and not at their best, the weather has not cooperated and they've either missed their flight or are severely delayed.

So here I am having survived the crazed cab ride, arriving at the wrong airport, bypassing overweight luggage fees, the mysteries of what is a liquid and weather delays, still somewhat on schedule to get to South America tomorrow. Also never so happy before in life to spend some time in Texas.

I hope my karma does not run out, because without bags I will be very cold, but there's no way things could go wrong after all of this. Somehow things tend to work themselves out. I am bound to have a damn good trip.

edit-can't spell 48 hrs w/hardly any sleep

[Schmear]

You sound like a simple girl trying to make her way in the universe.





So what's in store for 2000?

[cj001f]

Nice - a good beginning to any and every adventure. Keep up the good work, you won't have a cold night in BA!

[f2f]

impressive writing! i have friends that were stuck today in both munchen and heathrow, you got off easy!

this russian made the news, chugging a whole bottle of champagna before his flight (i wonder if you could do the same thing with chapstick):

[truth]

Ahhh...the joys of international travel.

Git some for me Trayc!

[Ridgehippy]

Hey, you sass that hoopy Bklyntrayc? There's a frood who really knows where her towel is.

[The Dad]

Flying tomorrow.

Wine will be checked luggage.

[RootSkier]

Southern stokage for 2000. Sweet.

[divegirl]

Way to go, Tracy!! I'm glad you made it to DFW, and I can't wait to see pics of you skiing the pow in SA. Whoooohoooo!!

[Obstruction]

A good read. I'm looking forward to 2K and the Space Odditity.

[BushwackerinPA]

Very awesome read tracy, look forward to the 2000 post(TR from down south maybe?) only time will tell.

[buckethead]

very stressful/exciting first leg (your post brings me back to a similarly unlikely departure 13years ago)...you'll appreciate getting there more than ever...with your luggage!
happy winter!

[snowsprite]

Buddy, your roll on deodorant is a liquid, but why anyone would want to make you both part ways is beyond me. He really needs it.

Hahahah!

Nice TR, Trayc. Hope you got some sleep and re-charged enough to go rope a few cowboys.

Sprite

[train07]

it's not easy to choose which part of this tr i enjoyed most but this....

I've left with plenty of time to get around today's terror alert, but the driver is talking as fast as that red needle on the speedometer and determined to shave time off this trip. The wind in my face from the open window combined with the g forces on every turn and my growing excitement as we follow the twisted road toward the airport leave me unable to respond for a moment.

is a beautiful vision.

[lemon boy]

SahhhhhWEET!

[Buster Highmen]

Well played, girl!

[Joey Joe Joe Junior Shabadoo]

Nice work. It has been a few years since I have visited family in the city but your description of the cab ride takes me back. Have fun in SA.

[scarlet begonias]

YOU GO GIRL!

Have an amazing trip...Can't wait to get some snow stoke (get us some pics etc. quick...we are starting to go through withdrawls here!!)

[Tippster]

So excited (and doing the peepee dance) that you go to the wrong airport? Been there!

I love adventures that start out as such. Very jealous, and anxiously awaiting your next missive.

[Sutter]

Wait, you were at JFK when you were supposed to be at LaSchwardia and yet you still got on a flight to SA AT JFK? What gives my NYC bretheren? I've never heard of such deft moves.

[DJMingus]

Nice writing Tracy - git sum in SA!

[Sutter]

Yes, lip gloss is a liquid. Yes, nail polish is a liquid. Yes, your water is a liquid, the fact that it is "just water" still makes it a liquid. Buddy, your roll on deodorant is a liquid, but why anyone would want to make you both part ways is beyond me. He really needs it. TSA will probably have to define liquid. Good luck. [/size]

Had to bring this over from Padded Room

[greenmachine]

Wow you have a great attitude and I'm impressed with your writing skills. I hope you have a great trip. I'm jealous.

[Mtn Man]

Haha, great TR on airport travel, felt like I was there with ya. Being that I've lived in airport terminals for the past year, I know what you're going through. Although with security on red alert, it's more frustrating right now.

Stay patient, try to enjoy the human entertainment during your journey, and slay SA for us all!!!

B)

[MakersTeleMark]

Those trips can start like that. I once made it from calling a cab in Boulder while packing, to sitting on a flight headed for Argentina in under an hour.