I am drinking too much

[MakersTeleMark]

I just got done with a series of ___________ procedures, that shit weighs on you hard beforehand but the reality is it's not nearly as bad as you imagine. the relief of getting it behind you is hudge, just getting that shit over with is going to make you feel much better on its own.

FIFY.

[Monoteleskier]

It sounds funny but just puttering around the house after dinner fixing shit, putting stuff away, gardening, cleaning, etc. definitely helps me keep the drinking down to a reasonable level. There is a never ending supply of minor mindless tasks that need doing. Frankly doing anything instead of sitting down in front of yet another screen helps.

[snapt]

I just got done with a series of dental/periodontal procedures, that shit weighs on you hard beforehand but the reality is it's not nearly as bad as you imagine. the relief of getting it behind you is hudge, just getting that shit over with is going to make you feel much better on its own.

PNW Brit can confirm.

[hutash]

It sounds funny but just puttering around the house after dinner fixing shit, putting stuff away, gardening, cleaning, etc. definitely helps me keep the drinking down to a reasonable level. There is a never ending supply of minor mindless tasks that need doing. Frankly doing anything instead of sitting down in front of yet another screen helps.

That's when I do my best drinking. Much more fun fixin' shit or cleaning the house with a beer.

[KQ]

Hey MTT and anyone else trying to make a change - my yoga instructor shared this today. Thought I would send it on:

Autobiography In Five Short Chapters

Chapter I

I walk down the street.
There is a deep hole in the sidewalk.
I fall in.
I am lost... I am hopeless.
It isn't my fault.
It takes forever to find a way out.

Chapter II

I walk down the same street.
There is a deep hole in the sidewalk.
I pretend I don't see it.
I fall in again.
I can't believe I am in this same place.
But it isn't my fault.
It still takes a long time to get out.

Chapter III

I walk down the same street.
There is a deep hole in the sidewalk.
I see it there.
I still fall in... it's a habit... but,
my eyes are open.
I know where I am.
It is my fault.
I get out immediately.

Chapter IV

I walk down the same street.
There is a deep hole in the sidewalk.
I walk around it.

Chapter V

I walk down another street.

- Portia Nelson

[Dantheman]

That's when I do my best drinking. Much more fun fixin' shit or cleaning the house with a beer.

Last fall I discovered that raking leaves and a tumbler of Woodford go beautifully together.

[GiBo]

It sounds funny but just puttering around the house after dinner fixing shit, putting stuff away, gardening, cleaning, etc. definitely helps me keep the drinking down to a reasonable level. There is a never ending supply of minor mindless tasks that need doing. Frankly doing anything instead of sitting down in front of yet another screen helps.

This helps me. If I'm not busy, I tend to drink more. When I go on a break, I have to stay busy.

[SkiBall]

Hey MTT and anyone else trying to make a change - my yoga instructor shared this today. Thought I would send it on:

Autobiography In Five Short Chapters

Chapter I

I walk down the street.
There is a deep hole in the sidewalk.
I fall in.
I am lost... I am hopeless.
It isn't my fault.
It takes forever to find a way out.

Chapter II

I walk down the same street.
There is a deep hole in the sidewalk.
I pretend I don't see it.
I fall in again.
I can't believe I am in this same place.
But it isn't my fault.
It still takes a long time to get out.

Chapter III

I walk down the same street.
There is a deep hole in the sidewalk.
I see it there.
I still fall in... it's a habit... but,
my eyes are open.
I know where I am.
It is my fault.
I get out immediately.

Chapter IV

I walk down the same street.
There is a deep hole in the sidewalk.
I walk around it.

Chapter V

I walk down another street.

- Portia Nelson

Love it. So true. Some books have more chapters than others but still just telling the same story.

[Sparky]

Move the U.K. and your grill will look good by comparison?

Alternatively, go see a shrink and go skiing. Paging Dr Gaffney? Winter is back this week!

Acknowledgment is half the battle.

Yeah we don't worry too much about that, shit, if you have too much $$ to burn get them bleached white and straightened. Unless you've got/had junkies damaged teeth. Most people here see through that that cosmetic shit. Some folks are born with wonky teeth, and all darken as we age, coffee, tea, wine etc. Even the ugly birds here get lovin.

As for booze, just lay off it for a few months, if you can't get help.

You have a good job, skiing and flyfishin. You're fukin flying fine bro.

[KenJongIll]

Congrats. I know that's hard to do. How ya feeling?
Is it just a break to recover and get your shit together. Or Working toward never ever again?

Honestly, have lost no weight of significance. Don't feel significantly better. Bummer.

Wife and I got pretty drunk together last night for the first time in months. Was fun.
Probably will still keep up mostly sober status though. I don't need to drink every.fucking.night.

[MTT]

Honestly, have lost no weight of significance. Don't feel significantly better. Bummer.

Wife and I got pretty drunk together last night for the first time in months. Was fun.
Probably will still keep up mostly sober status though. I don't need to drink every.fucking.night.

I have a nice little buzz right now. not feeling guilty.

However, I did not do all the things I would have liked to have done this weekend.

"But I did nothing related to work. I just let it all go." I needed that. To just not worry about anything for a couple days is needed now and then.

A week ago I started this thread. Because I could see that I was Drinking too Much! And its interfering with what I really want to do, and who I want to be.

So this past week I did cut back. And will continue to do so. I will continue to look to my internet ski buddies for motivation.

I can go through the rest of my life just like this. But ??

I see the tight rope I am walking. I don't even like tight ropes "Or do I"?

Anyway just checking in on Sunday night.

I have another Dentist appointment next Thursday. and then the BIG ONE a couple weeks after that. Supposed to get all the upper and lower done in one day, I walk out with something that resembles a smile. We shall see.

Interesting; without drinking for a few days, my Blood pressure and heart rate were higher than I am accustomed to.

I was 90 / 130 and heart rate of 74.

No so long ago I was 75 /115 / 65

I guess at 56 its starting to show that I am not bullet proof

[MagnificentUnicorn]

I have a nice little buzz right now. not feeling guilty.

However, I did not do all the things I would have liked to have done this weekend.

A week ago I started this thread. Because I could see that I was Drinking too Much! And its interfering with what I really want to do, and who I want to be.

So this past week I did cut back. And will continue to do so. I will continue to look to my internet ski buddies for motivation.

I can go through the rest of my life just like this. But ??

I see the tight rope I am walking. I don't even like tight ropes "Or do I"?

Anyway just checking in on Sunday night.

I have another Dentist appointment next Thursday. and then the BIG ONE a couple weeks after that. Supposed to get all the upper and lower done in one day, I walk out with something that resembles a smile. We shall see.

Interesting; without drinking for a few days, my Blood pressure and heart rate were higher than I am accustomed to.

I was 90 / 130 and heart rate of 74.

No so long ago I was 75 /115 / 65

I guess at 56 its starting to show that I am not bullet proof

If you're a heavy drinker, stopping will make your bp go up. It's part of the withdrawal symptoms.

[KQ]

I have a nice little buzz right now. not feeling guilty.

However, I did not do all the things I would have liked to have done this weekend.

"But I did nothing related to work. I just let it all go." I needed that. To just not worry about anything for a couple days is needed now and then.

A week ago I started this thread. Because I could see that I was Drinking too Much! And its interfering with what I really want to do, and who I want to be.

So this past week I did cut back. And will continue to do so. I will continue to look to my internet ski buddies for motivation.

I can go through the rest of my life just like this. But ??

I see the tight rope I am walking. I don't even like tight ropes "Or do I"?

Sounds like you're somewhere between Chapters II & III

[iceman]

I think I'm in chapter 17, or maybe I'm lost in the index.

[MTT]

Sounds like you're somewhere between Chapters II & III

Yep, pretty much. I saw what you wrote.

I am not going to try and justify where I am at this moment.

I am a weak human. and the truth be told. I could just go on and on like this.

but can I? Do people really keep it together, and just keep an even keel?

It's Sunday night. I am good because I have no looming issues going into Monday Morning.

I have a "Close to full bottle Of Jamison near by" I have had 3 shots and I feel pretty dam good right now.

The rain on the roof sound nice as I type.
I also enjoy the minor online attention. "Because I am lonely"

I am not going to rip myself to pieces tonight over all my perceived short comings.

I strive to do better.

[Deebased]

Weave activities into your day/concalls, etc.

Grab the weights do some curls, planks, etc. Taking care of your body will help change your diet.

[MTT]

Weave activities into your day/concalls, etc.

Grab the weights do some curls, planks, etc. Taking care of your body will help change your diet.

there it is right there.

I need to get back on a health program. I like being fit. I know how. I just refuse to start!!!

there are reasons. It's weird. It's about being watched. It's about not performing. weird, right?
But it's real to me.

I think I am close to just getting after it. the alterative is depressing.
I am hoping that soon, tomorrow? I start the road to reshaping my pretty self, just taking a bit of time to do some fucking exercise.

Thing to look forward too!

I bought a used pair of 186 Lhasa Pows. they are waiting for me at the Post office.
then I get Dyna/look plates.
Dynafit bindings.
New skins for them.
With the snow pack we have, I should enjoy some serious touring all spring and summer.

Really the whole Teeth thing has really caused some deep dark self esteem issues. that I am finally doing something about

I mean SHIT! I can tour from a half mile from my front porch!! and I used to love it

[Whiteroom_Guardian]

OP, it's alarming that you can't stop. Cutting back a little bit and still constantly thinking about it, etc is concerning.

[Ottime]

Fuck dude. I remember trailing after you at Mammy. When I fought up, you'd be finishing off a smoke and speeding to the lift. You were fit. Get back there.

If this is about my pozi, forget it. I just was giving you shit.

Get back out there. Let me know if you want to tour next week. I'm sans family and will be pokin around between KW and Bishop.

Beat this thing into the ground.

As for the advice on staying busy, surfing and skiing (and my wife, and now my kid) are what have kept me clean-ish most of my life. Feeling the need to get up early to get on it allows me to not have one more, of five more, on any giving night.

[CarlMega]

OP, it's alarming that you can't stop. Cutting back a little bit and still constantly thinking about it, etc is concerning.

This 1000X.

Reality check: whatever problem you had b4 that was fucking you up will be replaced and superceded by the new problems of being dependent.

When alcohol stops working (for whatever reason you were using it), shit gets dark quick. It turns ugly.

Anyway - you may not be there yet.. Deciding to truly make the life changes that are necessiary.... And for good reason, it's scary - losing and letting go of: habit, routine, dependence, dreams and fantasies of what you may miss out on. The one thing I feel like I can promise is this: positive change is worth it. All the shit you have that is wrapped up in the bottle is not. Life is better when you are present and available. Being trapped in dependence is a fucking nightmare. Letting go and committing: "enough, that's the past...and no longer for me....taking the new street if you will" is the most liberating feeling you have.

Just think of all the calculus and fuzzy math people (addicts) do to find a reason to continue to drink...It's like a mad scientist at the chalk board: "if I ski and try to get fit...maybe just drink beer...only on social occasions and on holidays....by George, I think I cracked the code! I can continue to feed by habit and still be semi-functional. Sure there's pretty much 99.9% chance I'll be right back in drunkville but hey look at this equation.." Why is it that important to continue to drink if it's fucking you up so much? It's insane if you can regain the perspective.

[MTT]

Just got off a conference call.

To add.

I smoke too! - Marlboro's

Not a bad Monday, getting shit done. -Work

Looking forward to picking up new "To me" skis and ordering stuff o the internet for the new touring rig

[MTT]

The foundation for a new touring rig.

Very good condition. "Am Happy"

[stfu&gbtw]

^ You know there's only one ski in that picture, right?

[iceman]

haha

[MTT]

^ You know there's only one ski in that picture, right?

WoW

You need to expand your mind.