Best Gaper qoute of the weekend?

[stuckathuntermtn]

https://www.geartrade.com/item/50028...l-parabolic-76

77% off!

76" skis and Salomon Bings! What a deal.

[jonesy]

Dibs!

[old goat]

[QUOTE=3PinGrin;4969748]

Pewwww!! God's speed bob. My wife grew up in Arkansas and they were always fishing baby turtles out of the pool in the back yard. Cute little buggers. p.s. Clean those damn coolers before hauling food! haha

Oh, Bob was fine. We gave him to a reptile place.

[3PinGrin]

[QUOTE=old goat;4969781]

Oh, Bob was fine. We gave him to a reptile place.

Even funnier! I assumed he had been trapped in the cooler for a year.

[FLS]

There is a difference between a stoner and a gaper. I'm sure that sometimes that line is blurred.

[pfluffenmeister]

If you don't notice that you're missing 4#'s of pot, you have a pretty nice head stash.

[3PinGrin]

There is a difference between a stoner and a gaper. I'm sure that sometimes that line is blurred.

'

Yeah, doesn't really fit the thread, but figured posters here would get a kick out of it. Where the hell is the "I misplaced all my pot" thread?

[stfu&gbtw]

[QUOTE=old goat;4969740]

Dear Penthouse,

My wife had a mud turtle named bob. my son kept it in a glass terrarium in his upstairs bedroom. bob escaped. a search was fruitless. A year later my wife gets a cooler from the basement, two floors down, and takes it to Subway to get some sandwiches for a large picnic. Guy at Subway asks her what she wants him to do with the turtle...

[bigdude2468]

My wife and I get on the Collins chair at Alta with 45 ish old guy with nice pair of Rossi demo skis, not low end rentals. For those that don't know Alta the Collins chair is HS quad that makes a left turn at the "angle station". Cannot unload but does allow loading on empty chairs. So going through the angle station your skis are on the snow. Guy asks if there is a restaurant "over here". I say, yes, Watson Shelter at mid mountain. He says "great, that is where I am meeting a bunch of people for lunch". Watson's is right adjacent to the angle station. As we approach the angle station he says "thanks, I am getting off here". I tell him no, you can't get off, there is no room to unload the chair. He says, I have to meet people for lunch. I say NO YOU CANNOT GET OFF, just ride it to then top and ski down. Here is the first Gaper Quote, "I have to get off, I can't ski. I say you can't ski? He says "no, I cannot ski". I say you have a problem. Next Gaper Quote, "that's ok, I will just stay on the chair and ride it back down".

As we make the turn and head up the mountain he looks down and see's a women standing outside Watson's who is in the group he is meeting. He hollers to her and the third Gaper Quote she says "Dave you were supposed to get off, why did you stay on the chair?".

When we get to the top I tell the liftie he needs to get Patrol to get this guy down. Wife and I ski down get back on the Collins lift and sure enough, he is riding down, no skis on with Alta's Ski Patrol director sitting next to him holding his skis.

[paulster2626]

My wife and I get on the Collins chair at Alta with 45 ish old guy with nice pair of Rossi demo skis, not low end rentals. For those that don't know Alta the Collins chair is HS quad that makes a left turn at the "angle station". Cannot unload but does allow loading on empty chairs. So going through the angle station your skis are on the snow. Guy asks if there is a restaurant "over here". I say, yes, Watson Shelter at mid mountain. He says "great, that is where I am meeting a bunch of people for lunch". Watson's is right adjacent to the angle station. As we approach the angle station he says "thanks, I am getting off here". I tell him no, you can't get off, there is no room to unload the chair. He says, I have to meet people for lunch. I say NO YOU CANNOT GET OFF, just ride it to then top and ski down. Here is the first Gaper Quote, "I have to get off, I can't ski. I say you can't ski? He says "no, I cannot ski". I say you have a problem. Next Gaper Quote, "that's ok, I will just stay on the chair and ride it back down".

As we make the turn and head up the mountain he looks down and see's a women standing outside Watson's who is in the group he is meeting. He hollers to her and the third Gaper Quote she says "Dave you were supposed to get off, why did you stay on the chair?".

When we get to the top I tell the liftie he needs to get Patrol to get this guy down. Wife and I ski down get back on the Collins lift and sure enough, he is riding down, no skis on with Alta's Ski Patrol director sitting next to him holding his skis.

You saved a life. Way to go!

[FLS]

'

Yeah, doesn't really fit the thread, but figured posters here would get a kick out of it. Where the hell is the "I misplaced all my pot" thread?

Misplaced, of course (Slight thread drift...When I used to live with my parents, I used to have a Hess truck that I would keep some stash in. Came home from college and it was gone. Mom said they had guests over and one of the kids was playing with it and loved it so they gave it to him. I never did hear anything back)


That is amazing to me that someone that does not know how to ski would get geared up and get on a chair for a mid-mountain meet up. Awesome and scary.

[yeahman]

Snowboarder coming in hot at Big Sky this morning, near the bottom of the Explorer (easy) lift, behind the Huntley Lodge. Sees a little snowbank he can't resist, gets some speed and catches a couple feet of air...and lands right the fuck in the middle of the dry asphalt path I was walking on. Board screeches to a stop, guy lands on his ass looking very dazed and confused.

"You okay man?"

"Yeah, I'm okay...not sure about my board."

Some serious Jerry of the Day shit if anybody had been filming.

[jonesy]

Rain then 6" of new on top. Clicking into skis at the base I hear this young women say "This is avalanche snow" to her friend. She actually was right.

[old goat]

[QUOTE=3PinGrin;4969851]

Even funnier! I assumed he had been trapped in the cooler for a year.

I'm pretty sure he was in that cooler for a year, estivating. That's the cool part. Turtles have had 200 million years or so to figure this shit out--we're comparative amateurs comparatively, despite our big cerebral cortexes, opposable thumbs, and brains in our dicks.

[straightlineorbust]

Biggest gaper quote of the year in my book is my dad telling the guy at rentals how amazing his 1990s rear entry boots were, he's too cheap to buy some damn gear. I really need to do him a solid and get him boots sometime.

[Gaperious Basterd]

Gaper chick at Heavenly raved about Steven's Pass, night skiing with LED lights, how she was too cool for the GoPro her mom bought her, and how up at Steven's she and other cool people dig smoking huts in tree wells (WTF? (on many levels)).

And complained Heavenly is too touristy.... while riding there.

It was perhaps the most obnoxious 10 minutes on a quad chair.

[3PinGrin]

[QUOTE=old goat;4970998]

I'm pretty sure he was in that cooler for a year, estivating. That's the cool part. Turtles have had 200 million years or so to figure this shit out--we're comparative amateurs comparatively, despite our big cerebral cortexes, opposable thumbs, and brains in our dicks.

I knew they could go several months over winter. A year in a cooler is pretty amazing. Just think how long they could go with 4 lbs of weed.

[bigdude2468]

Biggest gaper quote of the year in my book is my dad telling the guy at rentals how amazing his 1990s rear entry boots were, he's too cheap to buy some damn gear. I really need to do him a solid and get him boots sometime.

Rear Entry boot guy's die with their boots on. A very close skier friend refused to replace his Salomon SX-90 boots. Was skiing new skis every couple of years, had plenty of money to buy new but just loved those red boots. We always gave him crap about the boots and eventually he got testy about it so we had to drop the ribbing. He became ill and subsequently passed away. When we went to the wake there were photos of his ski trips, his helmet was on top of the casket etc, but no sign of the boots. I asked his daughter where the boots are?, "dad's wearing them".

I was in the Sports Loft here in Salt Lake City a couple of years ago, essentially just a boot fitter. An old guy came in with five rear entry boots. Different colors, not matched pairs, looked like five random boots. He was dropping them off so that they would have an inventory of spare parts when he needed his boots repaired. He had found them on Ebay, some at Deseret Industries (Goodwill) and garage sales.

[old goat]

Rear Entry boot guy's die with their boots on. A very close skier friend refused to replace his Salomon SX-90 boots. Was skiing new skis every couple of years, had plenty of money to buy new but just loved those red boots. We always gave him crap about the boots and eventually he got testy about it so we had to drop the ribbing. He became ill and subsequently passed away. When we went to the wake there were photos of his ski trips, his helmet was on top of the casket etc, but no sign of the boots. I asked his daughter where the boots are?, "dad's wearing them".

.

priceless

[pfluffenmeister]

^^^ agreed.

That is not what I was expecting.

[gramboh]

Rear Entry boot guy's die with their boots on. A very close skier friend refused to replace his Salomon SX-90 boots. Was skiing new skis every couple of years, had plenty of money to buy new but just loved those red boots. We always gave him crap about the boots and eventually he got testy about it so we had to drop the ribbing. He became ill and subsequently passed away. When we went to the wake there were photos of his ski trips, his helmet was on top of the casket etc, but no sign of the boots. I asked his daughter where the boots are?, "dad's wearing them".

That is seriously fucking awesome. As a kid who grew up skiing in the late 80's early 90's I lusted after the red SX-90's my dad had. Eventually he bought me some used SX-92's (black/orange with a bunch of dumb tightening mechanics instead of just having buckles). Felt cool as hell.

[east or bust]

skiing numerous places in the Wasatch this patch week, there were an unusual amount of gapers straight lining the steeps while screaming/yelling

probably southerns, it was spring break week after all...

[TahoeJ]

I'm pretty sure he was in that cooler for a year, estivating. That's the cool part. Turtles have had 200 million years or so to figure this shit out--we're comparative amateurs comparatively, despite our big cerebral cortexes, opposable thumbs, and brains in our dicks.

That's crazy. On two levels. Obviously the whole being able to survive without food for that long, but also the sheer boredom factor of pure solitary confinement.

Rear Entry boot guy's die with their boots on. A very close skier friend refused to replace his Salomon SX-90 boots. Was skiing new skis every couple of years, had plenty of money to buy new but just loved those red boots. We always gave him crap about the boots and eventually he got testy about it so we had to drop the ribbing. He became ill and subsequently passed away. When we went to the wake there were photos of his ski trips, his helmet was on top of the casket etc, but no sign of the boots. I asked his daughter where the boots are?, "dad's wearing them".

That's awesome. Although I'm not sure I'd want to spend eternity in my ski boots as I'm usually happy to get them off after several hours! ;-)

[DasBlunt]

skiing numerous places in the Wasatch this patch week, there were an unusual amount of gapers straight lining the steeps while screaming/yelling

probably southerns, it was spring break week after all...

YeAH, people like to have fun....try it sometime....gaper.

[Soups]

Straightlining steeps...so gaper. Wtf?