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  1. #1
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    Coffee that tastes GOOD - The guide!

    Coffee... it's the stuff that gets you going in the morning when you want to make first chair or are fighting a hangover.

    Coffee doesn't have to take like boiled mud. If you do it right it can be an amazing and complex mouth party. You can learn to love your coffee black if you don't already.

    There are several factors to coffee including brewing method, brewing technique, grinders, grinding technique, roast type, and bean types.

    Remember rule #1: Drinking instant coffee is not dissimilar to a cup of steaming donkey diarrhea. Vacuum packed preground is not much better.

    Brewing Methods
    Normal coffee:

    Direct brew: Pouring the hot water on the grounds and scooping out with a spoon after brewing.

    French... er... Freedom Press: Same idea as direct brew... pour water into the press which has the grounds and press down after brewing to trap the beans. Good coffee... sludge factor if you don't grind right. I have two of these.

    Direct brew with paper filter: Plastic cone mount above a carafe with a cone filter mount... add grounds and hot water. When the water runs through, add more water. Auto drip is usually better and easier unless you live at high altitude.

    Percolator: Used to be the way coffee was made. It became less popular with the advent of the auto drip. Boils water and streams it through a tube onto the grounds, dripping the partially brewed stuff back into the main water rebrewing. Still fairly easy to find.

    Vacuum Brewer: Similar to a percolator in some ways, uses two chambers and air pressure to force the hot water through the grinds.
    Makes a fine cup of joe... not easily found. There is one listed on ebay.

    Auto drip with paper filter: The most popular method in America. You know how these work. Water is boiled by the machine, run through a tube to cool slightly before being dripped onto the grounds in a paper filter. The coffee extracts the flavors and oils and drips into the carafe below that sits on a hot plate. Most can also use a metal filter sold separately. Features to look for: variable brew strength, 1-4 cup mode, adjustable hotplate temperature. Other nice features: water filter, pause and serve.

    Auto drip with metal filter: Same as above except slightly more picky about grind consistency and size. Reusable filter is just as good as the paper filter... removes the paper filter taste (at the cost of sludge if you screw it up) and saves money as well as the "shit I am (the store is) outa paper filters" problem. They also take paper filters if you want.This is what I use. It has all the features I need and the brew strength adjustor helps make coffee taste good at this altitude.

    Not normal coffee:

    Moka maker: Two level octagonal metal container put on the stove. Sometimes called espresso makers. Uses pressure from the boiling water to force the water through fine grounds. Makes some good sludge that cries for milk and sugar.

    Steam Pressure Espresso Maker: Cheap crap that you find at the supermarket. It usually makes bad bad bad bitter ultra strong coffee. Boils water to force steam though finely ground coffee in a metal filter at about 2ATM. Works kinda OK for milk drinks that use espresso.

    Pump Espresso maker: Quality espresso makers work as above but use a pump to force the steam through the grounds at ~9ATM. Takes a lot of work to get the grind, tamp, etc right. If you do it right and have a good machine... yum (if you like espresso). Some of them have "crema assist" filters... these makers are far easier to use but sometimes harder to learn and don't always make the best espresso.

    Turkish coffee: Small amount of coffee ground to a fine dust and then boiled in water in a special pot (well it's not really that special... just shaped funny and looks cool). Sugar added in copious amounts. You do not pour a cup of Turkish coffee... you hold the carafe and it sort of oozes into the cup. You drink the grounds. The cups are tiny for good reason. Real eye opener.

    Brewing Technique

    DO NOT EVER HAVE COFFEE GROUNDS IN BOILING WATER!

    Never. No. Never. Don't do it.

    Not unless you are more than 9,000ft above sea level if not 9,500ft. Or unless you are making Turkish style coffee (sometimes called Greek or Arab coffee).

    WHY? There is a scientific explanation for this rule. There are hundreds of different chemicals and oils in the coffee that are released into the water and give it it's flavor. Each one is released at a different temperature.

    Some of the oils you want. Some you do not. At temperatures above 195F the bitter oils are released in quantity. Optimal brewing temps for coffee are 183-193F. (Tea works the similarly... this is why you don't boil tea bags for you... uh... well... folks who didn't hear about that little incident in Boston harbor 'round about 1774).

    Automatic drip coffee makers, vacuum brewers, and percolators boil the water but pass it through tubing to allow the temperature to drop to optimal brewing temp before it is applied to the beans.

    If you are using a French Press... er... Freedom Press (Freedom Roast etc) you wait a moment before pouring the water on the grounds.
    Same idea if you are brewing by adding the grounds directly to the cup and scooping out the grounds when brewed (used in taste testing).

    I am a coffee snob (which sux living where I do because water boils at 193F here and using auto coffee makers is... iffy).

    Beyond brewing technique:

    Use appropriate grind size for your brewing technique!
    You must choose the proper grinding size based on you brewing technique... different methods require the right size for optimal taste and flavor extraction and minimal sludge. Figure out what you use: direct brew, freedom press, percolator, vacuum, auto drip with metal filter, direct brew paper filter, auto drip with paper filter, auto drip with a metal filter, the various styles of espresso makers octagonal two stage boilers, boilers, crema assist brewers, real pump brewers), or Turkish coffee. These were listed in approximate order of what your grind size from coarse to fine.

    GRIND YOUR OWN COFFEE Real coffee drinkers NEVER use preground because some of those oils that I mentioned earlier will evaporate and if you grind the coffee they go away FAST! Some of the super snobs will not allow their fresh grounds to sit more than 5 minutes before the water hits the ground. Preground really sucks compared to fresh ground fresh coffee beans (whether ground by a blade or a burr grinder) and you can really notice it if you are doing things right.

    Grinders If you are gungho about your coffee... skip the blade grinder and go for the conical burr grinders but they are expensive ($35-$160 (the best one is about $130)) compared to blade grinders but produce far superior flavor and less sludge because they do not burn the coffee flavor (friction=heat and blade grinders make a lot of heat). They also produce an even grind size that brews better and produces less sludge (it is also vital for espresso brewing but espresso are different story, espresso brewers whether pump, boiler, or those european octagonal two stage moka makers are a completely different story grinding brewing and otherwise).

    USE THE RIGHT BEANS/ROAST There are two types of coffee beans... robusta and arabica. MAKE SURE the beans you buy are ARABICA and not ROBUSTA. Robusta beans taste like roasted dog crap. Robusta beans are cheap easy to grow crap for instacoffies, cheapies, and gas stations. All good coffee is from arabica beans. Not all arabica beans are good though. It is well worth it to buy a good brand like Millstone or Peabodys (or if you are truly privileged to live around Kansas City, the Roasterie). I'll say that again. Robusta beans are shit. Roast and style is totally a personal taste thing... find the various roasts and blends you like. I like strong smooth dark roasts and French... er.. freedom roasts.

    DON'T USE STALE BEANS Fresh coffee beans make a huge difference too. Snobs will not let their fresh bought gourmet beans sit for more than 2 weeks before using them because the flavor will degrade rapidly after roasting. If you want to store it longer, store it in the freezer. This greatly preserves the flavor (be sure to use a freezer bag or you will screw up the flavor). I have stored gourmet beans in the freezer (set to -4F) for two months without losing too much flavor.

    Endeth lesson...

    edited for formatting
    Last edited by Summit; 10-05-2003 at 01:49 AM.
    Quote Originally Posted by blurred
    skiing is hiking all day so that you can ski on shitty gear for 5 minutes.

  2. #2
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    High Altitude

    Addendum

    PRACTICAL TRAIL COFFEE THAT STILL TASTES OK

    Fresh ground is not an option for those on the trail unless you have a manual grinder which is bound to be heavy. The best choice is to grind before you leave and stow it in an airtight bag.

    The day you leave or the day before, grind your coffee fresh coffee beans at home or at the store to a pretty coarse grind size (this matches the trail brew methods and reduces the speed of flavor lost). Put the ground coffee in an airtight container or freezer bag (helps with flavor some).

    Unless you are a lunatic and lug around a lexan coffee press or that insanely huge coleman portable auto drip machine PoS, you will want to do a direct brew. Boil the water, wait a moment until it stops boiling and let it drop about 20F (time will depend on the pot and air temp).

    Add the hot water and let brew for 3-5 minutes depending on the temperature, the grind, the coffee, etc then scoop out the floating grinds with a spoon and enjoy!

    [red]VERY HIGH ALTITUDE BREWING[/red]

    At higher altitudes the boiling point of water becomes significantly low. When the water boils at around 197F or so many coffee makers start to deliver water to the grounds at temperatures below the optimal range causing under extraction or failure to extract certain flavors leaving hte coffee weak or at the very best dull.

    The best solution is to use a french press or direct brewing with a cone filter. If you have the time and money, espresso is the best choice if you like it. Good espresso machines and grinders for them are expensive. $400 would be a good setup.

    Other options include an auto drip machine with a brew control or a percolator which experiences a rise in boiling point because it rebrews the same liquid.
    Quote Originally Posted by blurred
    skiing is hiking all day so that you can ski on shitty gear for 5 minutes.

  3. #3
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    Coffee nazi?

  4. #4
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    Talking

    Or you could do it like I do it when I'm pressed for time: throw some coffee beans into your mouth, chew them up, gargle with water directly from the kettle, swallow, repeat.

    DELICIOUS!

  5. #5
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    Here is what I heard this morning:

    Hangover
    Coffee
    Black
    Amazing and complex mouth party...what...oh yeah...sweeeeet
    "I knew in an instant that the three dollars I had spent on wine would not go to waste."

  6. #6
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    Chai Tea, soy milk.

  7. #7
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    Some amazing and complex mouth parties sound like hard fkn work.

  8. #8
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    We're all dentists here, nothing to be afraid of.

  9. #9
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    Originally posted by Samwich
    Or you could do it like I do it when I'm pressed for time: throw some coffee beans into your mouth, chew them up, gargle with water directly from the kettle, swallow, repeat.

    DELICIOUS!
    You just described my method for staying awake to write papers back in high school. Nice! I also tried making chocolate covered espresso beans out of a mild roast and chocolate chips... didn't work so well... tasted pretty good.
    Quote Originally Posted by blurred
    skiing is hiking all day so that you can ski on shitty gear for 5 minutes.

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