Results 101 to 125 of 182
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04-05-2007, 02:25 PM #101
I am in AWE!!!
It has been too long since TGR made me laugh out loud.
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04-05-2007, 03:02 PM #102Something about the wrinkle in your forehead tells me there's a fit about to get thrown
And I never hear a single word you say when you tell me not to have my fun
It's the same old shit that I ain't gonna take off anyone.
and I never had a shortage of people tryin' to warn me about the dangers I pose to myself.
Patterson Hood of the DBT's
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04-09-2007, 01:01 PM #103
Stupp^^^
This thread needs more attention.
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04-09-2007, 01:31 PM #104
Brilliant absolutely brilliant!
Truly a legend.
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04-09-2007, 02:14 PM #105dankhucker Guest
old man pimpin the steeze...
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04-10-2007, 02:17 AM #106
First, in the spirit of the recent Easter holiday, I'd like to take this opportunity to thank dankhucker, Moose Pit, Tippster, and Tye 1on for "resurrecting" this string or rope.
Second I must apologize for my absence during the past few weeks. The loss of Ernest hit me harder than I thought it would both personally and financially. Sure.....I cried for days over his passing, wondering, usually out loud, what it would mean for civilization, and more importantly, moderately priced domestic wine.......but then to be hit by a "Dear John" letter of sorts from the Gallo family....er..company, severing their sponsorship ties with me and accusing me of "soiling the image of the full range of Gallo products to the point where shareholders have demanded and an immediate cessation of your (my) "Jug of the Day" Club priveledges"....well, needless to say I was devastated.
With that, there is but one thing I can do:
Wait............what have I done?........the Chablis is not responsible.....the Chablis is my friend.......the Chablis never disappoints.....the Chablis gives life............CHABLIS GOOD!
PERDONARE ME - ERNEST, JULIO E CARLO
Well then - catharsis complete,
After the response to my homage to Ernest, I thought you Tetonites would appreciate some additional insights into the marketing geniuses that were E. & J. Gallo. I also figure that I can try to educate the youth of America. I am saying to the youth: reading is good, and it is good to read. Give them a little helpin’ hand so they keep on the straight and narrow. I have to respect a man of honor, and Ernest was a man of honor. I need to do my own part. That is why I decided to write an article about how to be a big success in business, like Ernest.
I am sitting here in a lawn chair at the Carlo Rossi corporate headquarters, locker 223 at the port authority bus terminal. I love it here. Bein’ a big shot pro imbiber, you should never be too far from the customer. Every day I see folks around here enjoying the great taste of Carlo Rossi wine, whether they’re passed out next to a urinal or screaming their head off about the government controlling their brains from outer space -- I can recognize customers anywhere.
And that is the first key of business. Know your customer. Never separate yourself from the people that put money in your pocket.
The second key to success is to have a great business plan. A professional wrestler would never enter the ring unless he knew how he was going to beat the shit out of the other wrestler. I mean, do you think that he just hits somebody with a chair and that’s all there is to it? Fuck No, he plans for success as you should plan for success in your business venture. That is what a business plan is. Here is my interpretation of their first business plan, the blueprint, if you will, to the Carlo Rossi Empire.
If you are in the fine wine makin’ industry then you will find that distribution is everything. If your customer can’t find your wine then he certainly can’t get a good buzz from it. Pretty simple when you think about it. One day Ernest and Julio were makin’ wine in a hotel room bath tub off route forty, and bam! The next year they're the favorite beverage of every fuckwit’ and derelict from coast to coast. They loved distribution and thank God that the vice president of ADME Distibution loves a chorus boy named Denny. Things just work out that way when you plan for success the way they did. Distribution is the third key to success.
The fourth key to business success is promotions. You need the to create a brand name by associatin’ yourself with the right images. Carlo Rossi has created an image of success, great flavors and above all class. Nothin’ brings more class to an individual than Carlo Rossi Wine. They are not above imitation. When they first saw those Budweiser girls. They thought ,“’Holy shit! Titties and booze, now that’s two great tastes that go great together.” They tried to hire their own spokesmodels but as they both knew, that shit is expensive. C'mon, most spokesmodels aren’t working for a five-gallon jug of Carlo Rossi. Notice that I said most. I did happen to find a few gals that were a little more reasonable with their rates.
THAT WAS TODAY'S CARLO ROSSI MOMENT
When I last left you Tetonites, I had just completed yet another night of frolicsome debauchery amongst an endless sea of prime girlflesh only to be awoken by a sinister automated call at the ungodly hour of 6:00am. Apparently Gordon didn't think it inconvenient enough to have us ski at the local resorts and instead insisted that we drive to Swissland to ski Verbeer.
Gordon paired me with another one of you Tetonites, a certain German fellow that I later deemed my "uber driver".
As we dashed about the countryside,
I slipped in and out of consciousness, wondering what lay ahead in the land that gave us hot cocoa...........
We arrived at Verbihay, and once again, much to my dismay I found it filled with foreigners. We set out to ski down from Fort Mountain, and once again I was greeted by a series of metal steps that only served to compound the throbbing in my head.
We went down, then up again, then down, then up again, then down, then up again, then down one final time. After a spirited drive back to Chimney, and a brief stop at the hotel to groom my moustache, we headed out to the MBC for what I thought was to be a night of dancing. Much to my chagrin, I found the place to be instead prepped for a slideshow to be given by the man whose house we drank dry only a few nights previous. I contented myself with drinking copious amounty of a witty little local vintage, until I looked up above and to my amazement saw the following strangely lit object attempt to make a landing just outside the establishment.
Concerned that I would have to compete with another strangely lit object for the attention of any would be insta-suitors, I immediately charged through the front door to confront the interloper only to find that what I thought to be the mother ship was in fact a lighting fixture. My masculinity asunder and my competency now in question, I continued down the avenue towards the warm embrace of
more to come.......Where am I?
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04-10-2007, 06:30 AM #107
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04-10-2007, 09:19 AM #108Registered User
- Join Date
- May 2005
- Posts
- 3,972
A "Top secret" buisiness plan... so simple, yet... so perfect! My wife's not going to be too happy when she finds out I've taken over the bathtub, let alone the Kool-aid/battery acid stains on it. I won't let on to her about the crack whores til we're rollin' in dough.
Glad you made it back for a visit/update Doc!
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04-10-2007, 11:12 AM #109~
- Join Date
- Apr 2002
- Location
- Gare du Lyon
- Posts
- 4,896
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04-10-2007, 05:25 PM #110Good-lookin' wool
- Join Date
- Oct 2005
- Posts
- 11,756
Was this your CL posting DoctorWhat??
http://seattle.craigslist.org/see/zip/309290486.html
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04-10-2007, 10:33 PM #111
Sir, the vino I imbibe comes strictly from jugs - I like jugs!
I have however been keeping my eyes on this beauty.
http://cgi.ebay.com/LightSpace-LED-I...QQcmdZViewItemWhere am I?
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04-11-2007, 08:15 AM #112
DoctorWhat? is my hero
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04-11-2007, 08:55 AM #113
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04-11-2007, 09:14 AM #114Something about the wrinkle in your forehead tells me there's a fit about to get thrown
And I never hear a single word you say when you tell me not to have my fun
It's the same old shit that I ain't gonna take off anyone.
and I never had a shortage of people tryin' to warn me about the dangers I pose to myself.
Patterson Hood of the DBT's
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04-11-2007, 10:07 AM #115
beautiful thread
if this isnt love im feeling for doctorwhat? than i just dont know what love is
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04-12-2007, 12:58 AM #116
Beautiful Tetonitetress
Do you know what teton means in English?????
Judging by your photo, I think you just might.......
You know jugs of wine are nice but.........
Boobies.......
Solid Hard Wood!!
Must go now!Where am I?
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04-12-2007, 07:21 AM #117
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04-12-2007, 07:51 AM #118
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05-11-2007, 12:49 PM #119
Bump for some steeeezy Chablis, Shamoknee and Leh Gheyrage inspired Happiness.
Where am I?
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05-11-2007, 12:58 PM #120
Carlo Rossi Blush PWN35 shablee
Last edited by lemon boy; 05-11-2007 at 01:03 PM.
"It is not the result that counts! It is not the result but the spirit! Not what - but how. Not what has been attained - but at what price.
- A. Solzhenitsyn
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05-11-2007, 01:00 PM #121~
- Join Date
- Apr 2002
- Location
- Gare du Lyon
- Posts
- 4,896
I have to say that I finished off a bottle of CR sangria in one night, the chabliss took me much longer.
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05-11-2007, 01:03 PM #122Something about the wrinkle in your forehead tells me there's a fit about to get thrown
And I never hear a single word you say when you tell me not to have my fun
It's the same old shit that I ain't gonna take off anyone.
and I never had a shortage of people tryin' to warn me about the dangers I pose to myself.
Patterson Hood of the DBT's
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07-28-2007, 11:31 PM #123
Swig...or...bump or whatever you guys call it. The days are hot and long and my memories of dancing the night away in Le Garage are keeping the good doctor sanish.
Follow my lead, pour yourself a nice glass of chablis and...uh...enjoy.Where am I?
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07-29-2007, 06:53 AM #124
He Lives!
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07-29-2007, 07:59 AM #125
Sweet. tell me u have more Le garage pics..
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