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  1. #1
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    Shamoknee - You can't get this stuff in the states!

    I've noticed that one of my fellow campers has been uhhhhhhh......stumping?...fencing?....posting? about Gordon's camp in Chimonee a couple of weeks back and I wanted to make sure everyone out there in Tetonland got an accurate accounting of all the goings on. With that as background I'd like to start my own rope or string/thread thing.

    I flew into Geneva from New York. I remember it being a long flight - about four bottles of chablis in duration. When I arrived my manservant for the day, Phillipe, greeted me at the airport and immediately whisked me away to the nearest store so that I could acquire two more bottles of vino for the road trip to Shamonit. I remember the trip being dark - I think.

    When we arrived at the Morgan Hotel, I immediately noticed the following establishment across the way:



    After checking in, and noting with disgust the complete absense of an honor bar in my room, I met up with Gordon, and a tall man who said he was American yet lived in Prog, and another guy with a bad goatee and little fashion sense. After talking for a few moments I suggested that we go for drinks.....er dinner. After dinner I had the decided urge to "get my groove on" so I used my persuasive skills to lure my new found associates to the club across the street from the hotel.

    Once inside I was immediately moved by the infectious beat of French disco music and writhing bodies. It was all I could do to hold back from launching out to the dance floor long enough to order a couple of drinks and drink them down with purpose. Fully invigorated I could wait no longer and I lept onto the dance floor.



    Two ladies, sensing my prowess, overcame their initial awe and approached me.



    My magnetism proved equal to that of the mad disco beat and we conspired together to bring about an orgiastic cavorting explosion of lithe young bodies, with me as its nexus.



    After much cajoling from my campmates, I agree to return to the hotel and bid my partners in promenade adoo. Will I return? Does mixing red wine with white wine make Blush?
    Where am I?

  2. #2
    Join Date
    Jan 2007
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    2,953


    I know this dance. It occurs after too much cheap French wine. You are imagining that you are jamming your thumb up the ass of a hairy French chick and about to grab her left butt cheek with the other hand. You are saying "OOOAARRGGHHH."

  3. #3
    Join Date
    Oct 2003
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    Switzerland
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    separated at birth?



    Fmr. UN Ambassador John Bolton does that thumb thing too.

  4. #4
    Join Date
    Sep 2001
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    Left Field
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    29,857
    I think I could hang out with this dude.

  5. #5
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    May 2002
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    Quality stuff. It's quite obvious from this picture that you are the fkn' Man! Do you ski too?

    Last edited by Hayduke; 02-21-2007 at 08:31 AM.

  6. #6
    Join Date
    Nov 2001
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    11,552
    I think 666 just booted form the TR pantheon.

    iceman, you can't keep up with doc, at least not without your orthotics.

  7. #7
    Join Date
    Nov 2005
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    There is so much to learn from the old ones.

  8. #8
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    Nov 2003
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    Wydaho
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    bump for the dancefloor steeze

  9. #9
    Join Date
    Jan 2004
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    North Vancouver
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    5,811
    Ahhhh Cham plus booze was sooo much fun a year ago.

    Now lets hear the rest of the stories.

  10. #10
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    Huzzah for the good Doctor!

  11. #11
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    Oct 2003
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    CO
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    5,065
    Quote Originally Posted by Roo View Post


    I know this dance. It occurs after too much cheap French wine. You are imagining that you are jamming your thumb up the ass of a hairy French chick and about to grab her left butt cheek with the other hand. You are saying "OOOAARRGGHHH."
    I don't know. Kinda looks like he's preparing to do the "Shocker" with his left hand and maybe a variation of the Dirty Sanchez with his right hand. Judging from his facial expression, I'm pretty sure he's saying, "P3WNED BITCH!!"

  12. #12
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    Quote Originally Posted by Roo View Post


    I know this dance. It occurs after too much cheap French wine. You are imagining that you are jamming your thumb up the ass of a hairy French chick and about to grab her left butt cheek with the other hand. You are saying "OOOAARRGGHHH."
    I was going for the point, but my thumb got in the way.
    Where am I?

  13. #13
    Join Date
    Jan 2006
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    Replicant colony
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    Quote Originally Posted by iskibc View Post
    I don't know. Kinda looks like he's preparing to do the "Shocker" with his left hand and maybe a variation of the Dirty Sanchez with his right hand. Judging from his facial expression, I'm pretty sure he's saying, "P3WNED BITCH!!"
    Exactly, because what you can't see, just out of the frame, is the hapless bouncer being kicked in the gibblets mercilessly.

  14. #14
    Join Date
    Oct 2003
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    Down the valley a bit further on the good side of the 49th
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    4,397
    Keep it flowing. The alcohol/club only TR is fine or the on snow version would likely be equally entertaining.
    It's not so much the model year, it's the high mileage or meterage to keep the youth of Canada happy

  15. #15
    Join Date
    May 2002
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    Anyone that measures time or distance by alcohol consumed is ok in my book.

  16. #16
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    Sep 2001
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    Quote Originally Posted by Hayduke View Post
    Anyone that measures time or distance by alcohol consumed is ok in my book.
    Heh, I was thinking the same thing. An American horse trainer, Bob Baffert, had a horse running in the Kentucky Derby. When a reporter asked him, live on TV right before the race, how far it was to the track from his stables in Indiana, he said, "About eight beers." He got in all kinds of shit for that but I thought it was hilarious.

    He was a passenger, btw, before you all sanctimoniously kick my ass.

  17. #17
    bklyn is offline who guards the guardians?
    Join Date
    May 2005
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    5,990
    First thought...who swapped Splat's shampoo with the Just For Men?



    Second thought ... right on brother! Keep on dancin' let your body move.
    I'm just a simple girl trying to make my way in the universe...
    I come up hard, baby but now I'm cool I didn't make it, sugar playin' by the rules
    If you know your history, then you would know where you coming from, then you wouldn't have to ask me, who the heck do I think I am.

  18. #18
    Join Date
    Dec 2006
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    crown of the continent
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    Quote Originally Posted by iceman View Post
    Heh, I was thinking the same thing. An American horse trainer, Bob Baffert, had a horse running in the Kentucky Derby. When a reporter asked him, live on TV right before the race, how far it was to the track from his stables in Indiana, he said, "About eight beers." He got in all kinds of shit for that but I thought it was hilarious.

    He was a passenger, btw, before you all sanctimoniously kick my ass.
    That is indeed worthy of a chuckle, but Hayduke's mention might have, just maybe, been reflective of one of Ed Abbey's theorums, on measuring distance by six-packs. As he also said "Balance, that's the secret. Moderate extremism." Sounds like a maggot slogan, if there is such a thing.
    Great TR...

  19. #19
    Join Date
    Feb 2004
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    a few blocks from the beach
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    2,962
    I give this TR a thumbs up!
    .

  20. #20
    Join Date
    Nov 2006
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    Standing on the Edge
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    48
    Are there a lot of peope from Prog in Chimonee?

    Great TR
    Last edited by WhatTheHuck?; 02-21-2007 at 06:01 PM.

  21. #21
    Join Date
    Apr 2006
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    nevaduh
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    Quote Originally Posted by yogachik View Post
    I give this TR a thumbs up!
    Do we have the beginnings of a line dance? Haha

    Ill give it a thumbs up and a left foot back. Cha cha

  22. #22
    Join Date
    Feb 2007
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    Pardon my absense my fellow tetonites, but I only now found my way back from New Orleens and its most raucous Marty Graw celebration. Of course I was naturally drawn to Bourbon street, but was most dissapointed when I tasted the liquid flowing through the gutters - tasted more like Scotch. Unfortunately I have only a few photos of rather poor quality, a few of which I will share:





    This is the only photo of me. I'm not sure why I went as a Stormtrooper, it really makes it difficult to show 'em yer tits.



    Anyhoo, I would like to thank all of you - maggots? - I believe? - for the overwhelming support I received in response to my first posting. The response was so favorable it apparently caught the attention of the fine people at Carlo Rossi who offered me a sponsorship deal. Not only do I get pro form on their fabulous jug wines, I have been invited to a barrel tasting at their factory in City of Industry, California.



    All of this in exchange for a short testimonial when I post:

    Carlo Rossi is the definitive cheap wine. Some people claim Franzia, but come on. Who walks around a party with a box in their hands? Franzia is acceptable, but only if you take it out of the box. A wine bladder is always a fun time. But we're here to talk about Rossi.

    Carlo Rossi is cheap, around $5-10 depending on the state you live in. It comes in blush, burgundy, cabernet sauvignon, paisano, white grenache, white zinfandel, merlot, chianti, sangria, rhine, vin rose and my favorite - Chablis. There may be more, if I'm missing one, PM me. I'm convinced they taste better if you mispronounce the french (repeat: cha-bliss). Rossi is great because there's one recognizable Rossi taste, but each wine tastes subtly different. Every time I take a sip of Rossi from a glass, I know it's Rossi. One time me and some friends starting mixing Rossi, burgundy and paisano, paisano and sangria. We eventually tried mixing red and white wine. It tastes fine. It always tastes like Rossi. This being said there were small differences to the trained palate. Chablis was always my favorite, me and my friends would try to only buy Chablis. Every day we would take a sip to test the vintage, to see if it was a good day for Rossi.

    The beauty of Rossi is in the jug. It's a jug of wine. It has a resealable cap, but you're tempted to try and finish all the alcohol in front of you. It comes in 1.5L, 3L, and 4L. The smaller jugs were somewhat cute, but the 4L was always the one I chose.

    There is a specific way to drink out of a jug of Rossi: put the jug in front of you, handle facing right. Now hook two fingers through the hole in the handle, and rotate the jug clockwise. Lift up the jug to your mouth and, if you're doing it right, the weight of all that wine should be resting on the crook of your elbow. You can drink single-handedly and look slick......mmmmmmmmm so good on my lips!

    Carlo Rossi is made by the E. and J. Gallo Winery The picture of the guy on the front (maybe Ernest, maybe Julio) is supposed to look like Dr. Evil. This tends to seem important to people after they've drunk the whole jug.



    NOW BACK TO FRENCHLAND

    When I last left you we had just returned from an "off the hook" evening at Le Gheyrage and I was looking forward to another night on the town the following evening. Unfortunately, Gordon had planned a day of skiing in the interim and I felt compelled to go along. After a frustrating morning of trying to explain to the staff at the hotel of my dire need for vodka to accompany my tomato juice, we travelled to a local resort - the Big Monty. I took a break mid day and I was finally able to secure a glass of burgandy to quell the fire within:



    Finally the skiing ended and en route down the valley to Shamomone, Gordon decided to stop in on a friend of his - quite unanounced. I was panic striken - would this mean that his friend would be caught unprepared and without wine or some such for us to enjoy!?.....well, my fears were soon brushed aside as Mr. Bingam, being a true gentleman, quickly filled my hand with an enticing local pilsner. Draining this fellow of his beer we went back to the hotel where I quickly and efficiently prepared to paint the town rouge - that's frenchspeak for RED...ha ha! :

    While in the lobby we were joined by the rest of our group - two tall fellows who looked remarkably similar - I believe they may have been related, and another gentleman, Stan I think, from North Dakota or Texas...... I don't know, one of the southern states. In any event, we ventured to a local eatery and I was immediately entranced by its extensive, and might I say, expensive wine list. Eagerly searching for less financially punitive spirits, I came upon their "vin de table". I quickly convinced the rest of my comrades to order 3 bottles and awaited the return of our waitress.



    She finally returned, and glasses full, we waited to empty them and filled them, and emptied them and filled them, and.....



    Dinner arrived, making an excellent addition to my wine....



    My meal completed, we soon ran out of wine. I tried my best to expedite our departure so as not to keep my legions of dance crazed fans waiting at Le Gheyrage, and I convinced our newest additons that the best cure for their jetlag was a night spent busting a move to Euro-wrap. With that we ventured to.....



    For a photgraphic representation on what transpired, I refer you to my first post - but I must say I "raised the roof" to an even greater extent this time out - a rather difficult feat when one considers that the club is in fact located in the basement. I watched as my younger, and dare I say less manly companions filed out of the club to return to the hotel and "rest". I meanwhile continued to dare my nubile dance companions to "ride the white pony" until the sun came up. That's correct BIATCHES - 'till the sun came up!



    More tomorrow,
    DoctorWhat
    Last edited by DoctorWhat?; 02-23-2007 at 04:45 PM.
    Where am I?

  23. #23
    Join Date
    May 2005
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    4,041
    The Carlo Rossi spancered doc comes thru with another chapter.

    Great read so far... when will we get the whole story?

  24. #24
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    I.... heart you.

    You must be a cardiologist.

  25. #25
    Join Date
    Oct 2006
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    13 miles south of Compton
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    86
    A bump for the old man with steeze..........the steezer

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