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Thread: What's your cure for swamp ass?
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09-22-2005, 03:21 PM #51
Registered User
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Long time Gold Bond user, but this summer i began using the Ms.' blow dryer down yonder...works wonders, towels don't get so funky, takes no time at all, no GB clean up. Cheers to that image.
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05-08-2012, 12:53 PM #52
Minion
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- May 2012
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Best fix ever !!! analitchcure.com
Swamp ass no more !!!!
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05-08-2012, 01:16 PM #53
Driveway Art Installation
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Originally Posted by clayton
Such a typical Clayton.
scouring the archives for 7year old threads about swamp ass...hah
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05-08-2012, 05:37 PM #54
wooooooohoooooooooooooo
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great bump.
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05-08-2012, 06:45 PM #55
Covert
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^^ word
6789Baka wa shinanakya naoranai!
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05-08-2012, 09:09 PM #56
lusty gear whore
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WTF?!?
i've had swamp ass for the last five years!
can't we get this thread stickied?In search of the elusive artic powder weasel ...
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05-09-2012, 06:04 AM #57
Utard once again
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Pun intended, I assume? Originally Posted by pfluffenmeister
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05-09-2012, 09:06 AM #58
just a user
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i am glad this hasn't turned nsfw yet, thanks.
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05-09-2012, 11:38 AM #59
wishing I was outside...
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um, wow people
you need to wash - the stink is not sweat; it's dingleberries getting moistened up by your sweat
WASH!!go ahead and huck the cornice anywhere!
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05-09-2012, 11:44 AM #60
just a user
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wash rinse repeat
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05-09-2012, 04:19 PM #61
Minion
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- May 2012
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I suffered for 10 years with swamp ass.
analitchcure.com was cheap fast and easy to do. I'm cured.
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05-09-2012, 05:11 PM #62
Master food heater-upper
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A tip from a restaurant kitchen type person: corn starch is an inexpensive response to the always-a-threat in a hot kitchen swamp ass. It can also be heard referred to as "monkey butt". The following rules apply: once your dirty mitt has been stuck in the box of corn starch, its yours to keep, and obviously never, ever cook using that box again. Second, if you are wearing black pants, disrobe prior to application or your secret will be out, literally.
Additional resource: www.antimonkeybutt.com
Sent from my SCH-I500 using TGR ForumsLast edited by Woolybeastman; 05-09-2012 at 05:42 PM.
You ask me why I make my home in the mountain forest, and I smile, and am silent, even my soul remains quiet: it lives in the other world which no one owns. The peach trees blossom. The water flows.
---Li Po
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05-09-2012, 05:28 PM #63
eternal student
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Or just remove the hair to prevent berry formation....makes clean up much faster, too. Nair for men. Originally Posted by acinpdx
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05-09-2012, 07:57 PM #64
Just fuckin' with ya
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gold bond, there was a link to the greatest thread ever that covers this
(I have not read all the pages so excuse the fuck outta me if this has already been covered)I don't work and I don't save, desperate women pay my way.
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05-09-2012, 08:01 PM #65
Pure Annoyance....
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The Swampy Ass Diatribes
Easily curable in 3 steps.
Step 1: Buy this stuff, without it once you get swamp ass you are fucked. If you have some in your pack, wipe your ass (like you should have done already) and apply, it will stop the burn. It will also help ALOT in preventing the whole situation. Visit the site to figure out who carries it near you: http://www.buttpaste.com
Step 2: Learn to wipe your ass effieciently, maybe you do, maybe you don't. Go to this site, read the instructions, turns out most people wipe like assholes: http://howtowipeyourbutt.com/
Step 3: Assess your fiber intake. Odds are you probably are getting your asshole clean, but since you aren't getting enough fiber in your diet, your asshole will leak, just a tiny bit. Combine that with sweating, hiking and other straining activities and now your little asshole "seepage residue" is acting as a "from concentrate" mix with your sweat to make acidic-bile-flesh-eating SWAMP ASS. Get more fiber easy by taking a fiber supplement like FiberSure, or whatever. The new powdered fiber mixes are fine, just mix it with juice or whatever, you won't taste it, don't be a pussy. Also, eat healther!!!! This is most important.
There you have it. The Jong's Guide to Swamp Ass.
Written by a guy who has a really hairy asscrack and used to eat too much McDonalds. Take it or leave it.
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05-09-2012, 10:13 PM #66
Because Thats How I Roll
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There must be different kinds of swamp ass? I know the kind that I deal with every summer working in 117 degree heat/high humidity/ golf course irrigation style.
Gold bond is what everybody runs.....but I found a decent substitute for it at the 99 cent store.Buy the body powder in the yellow bottle.99 cents and you will be happy knowing Gold Bond is not ripping you off.
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05-11-2012, 05:13 PM #67
Has Mad Pow Disease
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Originally Posted by Harry
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07-07-2012, 04:59 PM #68
fighting the fear
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summer's in full swing. This shit is miracle if you ride a motorcycle in 110 degrees.
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07-07-2012, 05:49 PM #69
Maggot
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Pad 1234
Last edited by rehabit; 07-07-2012 at 05:56 PM. Reason: :)
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07-08-2012, 12:00 AM #70
Metalhead
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vermont ski television( RSA? ),has a few commercials directly relating to your problem.ASS SO FRESH deoderant wipes,even a bum can have a good smelling bum ..... someone upload those classics!
ski paintingshttp://michael-cuozzo.fineartamerica.com" horror has a face; you must make a friend of horror...horror and moral terror.. are your friends...if not, they are enemies to be feared...the horror"....col Kurtz
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07-10-2012, 02:50 PM #71
Core Broletariat
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07-12-2012, 04:41 PM #72
Metalhead
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they had swampass before 1958,cavemen ,cavewomen ,suffered greatly before hair grooming kits! Originally Posted by splat
ski paintingshttp://michael-cuozzo.fineartamerica.com" horror has a face; you must make a friend of horror...horror and moral terror.. are your friends...if not, they are enemies to be feared...the horror"....col Kurtz
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