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  1. #1
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    For the Long Islanders

    You live in the shadow of the greatest city in the world, but you almost never go there.

    When you're away from Long Island, you love it and when you're there, you don't.

    You think if you're not from Long Island or NYC, you're not really from New York.

    You know the exact point at which Queens turns into Nassau simply on intuition.

    You don't go to Manhattan, you go to "The City".

    You never realize you have an accent till you leave.

    At some point in your life you've gone clamming.

    Either your parents or your grandparents lived in the city.

    You'd pay $8.50 for a movie.

    You don't live in Long Island. You live ON Long Island

    You know where the Commack Motor Inn is.

    Your distant future might involve the state of Florida.

    You can correctly pronounce places like Happauge, Commack, Islip,
    Islandia, Massapequa.

    You know the location of 6 malls and a dozen McDonalds and 36 7-11's.

    You never, ever want to "change at Jamaica..."

    You've tried to find the Amityville Horror house.

    No, you don't want mustard on that burger!!

    Each one of your diverse friends mercilessly makes fun of his own background.

    You've had a seagull crap on your car.

    You have or someone you know has fallen asleep on the LIRR and ended
    up in one of these three places; Babylon, Port Washington or Hicksville.

    You went to an elementary school that promoted dodge ball as the number 1 game among children 7-13.

    You know White Castle is terrible for you and the food sucks but you periodically "Get the Crave".

    You want the Yankees to stay in the Bronx, but would probably go to more games if they moved to Manhattan.

    You've missed that "Drunk Train", the 2:42 am out of Penn Station and had the dreaded wait until 5:30 am.

    You or someone you know has owned an animal that came from North Shore Animal League.

    Quick! Who's the Suffolk County Executive? Don't know do you?!

    You've never taken an MTA bus.

    The Long Island Expressway isn't really as bad as everybody thinks.

    You don't associate Fire Island with gay men.

    You know which parts of the Godfather where filmed on Long Island.

    You've said stupid things like "Strong Island".

    You curse. A lot.

    You've paid a $10 cover charge to get into a bar, but got nothing for
    it.

    You think Islip MacArthur airport is cute and you enjoy watching it grow up.

    Billy Joel said it best, "either you date a rich girl from the North Shore,or a cool girl from the South Shore".

    You don't really see the big deal about the Hamptons, unless you got smashed at the Bawdy Barn (sound familiar)?

    When people ask "where are you from?" you answer Long Guy Land and automatically assume everyone in the world knows that answer means New York.

    You've always liked Billy Joel and you own several of his "records" is it just me or are all girls from Rockville Center bitches???

    The Belt Parkway sucks!

    You're used to driving down the street in December and seeing more lit-up menorahs than you can shake a Latka at. In fact, even your non-Jewish friends know what a Latka is.

    Your parents took you to Nathans or Carvel (on the way home from the beach).

    News 12 sucks.

    You know where at least one strip club is.

    Regular gas - $3.39 and you still pay it!!!

    You hate paying tolls.

    Block parties...

    You don't have to go far to see your family.

    You remember Grumman.

    You've gotten drunk on the bleachers of some high school

    You know the color of the water at Jones Beach was not BLUE!

    You can pinpoint the day that you realized that Adventureland sucks.
    You are nearing the day that you realize that Great Adventure sucks.

    You have a friend who knows a guy who has a friend whose sister knows this woman whose daughter sat next to Amy Fisher in 10th grade Social Studies.

    You were upset when all the Roy Rogers turned into Wendy's.

    You can spout off all the LIRR stops between Penn Station and Ronkonkoma.

    You think the people from Brooklyn are "da wunz dat tawk wit aaccent"

    Sledding in the sumps

    You knew of Massapequa before the Amy Fisher-Joey Buttafuoco
    nightmare

    You thought going to Queens was a hike

    When you live somewhere else and are astounded to see that people actually stop at yellow lights.

    When you just sort of presume that wherever you live, you'll be able to find good delis, good pizza, and good bagels.

    You can name at least three bands that came from Long Island.

    When you walk in the city and you see two men holding hands...it becomes normal to you.

    No word ends in an ER, just an AH.

    You actually get these jokes and pass them on to other friends from Long Island.
    I resolve PC issues remotely. Need to get rid of all that pr0n you downloaded on your work laptop? Or did you just get a ton of viruses from searching for "geriatic midget sex"? Either way I can fix them. PM Me for maggot prices.

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  2. #2
    bklyn is offline who guards the guardians?
    Join Date
    May 2005
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    ha ha! Pretty much on the money.

    And Joey Buttafuoco's sister did your makeup at Bloomingdales.
    (not kidding on that one)
    I'm just a simple girl trying to make my way in the universe...
    I come up hard, baby but now I'm cool I didn't make it, sugar playin' by the rules
    If you know your history, then you would know where you coming from, then you wouldn't have to ask me, who the heck do I think I am.

  3. #3
    Join Date
    Mar 2005
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    Quote Originally Posted by mrryde
    No word ends in an ER, just an AH.
    Whaddabout Pizzer and Soder?
    And how the fuck can you make Turlet out of toilet???
    . . .

  4. #4
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    Apr 2002
    Location
    Impossible to knowl--I use an iPhone
    Posts
    13,143
    Not from LI, but actually almost everything on that list sounds right to me. They need something about Jerry Seinfeld's old girlfriend, Shoshana whatever her name was.
    [quote][//quote]

  5. #5
    Join Date
    Oct 2003
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    ut, happily
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    1,840
    hehe! thanks for the laughs and the memories

    luckily, I only lived on LI until I was 9 or so - then my parents moved me to Maine (actually a really good thing!) so I consider myself from there -

    but definitely a lot of these things ring a bell and bring back fond memories of growing up there.

    Quote Originally Posted by mrryde
    You live in the shadow of the greatest city in the world, but you almost never go there.
    I go there a lot more now at least once a year.

    You never realize you have an accent till you leave.
    I don't really have one either way - Loongiland or Maineah, but my parents' are to die for - my mom's gets thicker when she's trying to be polite.

    At some point in your life you've gone clamming.
    yep. right by one of billy joel's old houses - I thought that was the coolest thing ever. I was very into UPTOWN Girl at the time.

    You know where the Commack Motor Inn is.
    i can't quite recall anything other than the 16 movie theater next to the LIE and my elementary school, but I do remember Commack - I lived in Dix Hills (21 Lauren Ave)

    You can correctly pronounce places like Happauge, Commack, Islip,
    Islandia, Massapequa.
    Yes, I can.

    No, you don't want mustard on that burger!!
    Yep, I thought that was just bizarre when I moved to maine.

    You know White Castle is terrible for you and the food sucks but you periodically "Get the Crave".
    boy i loved those buildings.

    You don't associate Fire Island with gay men.
    nope.

    You curse. A lot.
    yeah i do. got that from the parents.

    You think Islip MacArthur airport is cute and you enjoy watching it grow up.
    I HAVE TO DISAGREE HERE - I DON'T THINK ITS CUTE, I ABSOLUTELY HATE THAT THEY TURNED MY VERY FAVORITE RACETRACK OF ALL TIME INTO A FREAKIN' AIRPORT!!!! I have some of my earliest modified racing memories and my heroes from the good ol' days (richie evans, charlie jazombeck, the bodine brothers, eddie brunhozel et al, jimmy spencer (hated him long before nascar), bob parks, and then later steve parks) from that track.

    When people ask "where are you from?" you answer Long Guy Land and automatically assume everyone in the world knows that answer means New York.
    AYUH.

    You're used to driving down the street in December and seeing more lit-up menorahs than you can shake a Latka at. In fact, even your non-Jewish friends know what a Latka is.
    grew up catholic, but I heart Chanukkah too

    Your parents took you to Nathans or Carvel (on the way home from the beach).
    Damn I really miss that Carvel shop in Huntington my grandparents always took me too. And the Fred's Diner on Jericho.

    You remember Grumman.
    I remember my grandfather's jackets from working there.

    You know the color of the water at Jones Beach was not BLUE!
    True dat.

    You can pinpoint the day that you realized that Adventureland sucks.
    You are nearing the day that you realize that Great Adventure sucks.
    I think i've come to terms with both


    You knew of Massapequa before the Amy Fisher-Joey Buttafuoco
    nightmare
    Yep, visited there and Ronkonkoma often.

    When you just sort of presume that wherever you live, you'll be able to find good delis, good pizza, and good bagels.
    that was the big shocker moving to maine
    Last edited by skiguide; 01-08-2006 at 01:58 PM.
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  6. #6
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    Oct 2003
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    Jack Tone Road
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    No way- one of my friends from college grew up on Lauren Ave; I stayed there about three months ago.

  7. #7
    Join Date
    Jan 2005
    Location
    CA
    Posts
    677
    Shit Ski Guide, We grew up in the same town. How old are you?
    I stay up all night, I go to sleep watching dragnet

  8. #8
    Join Date
    Mar 2005
    Location
    NuYawk
    Posts
    988
    Quote Originally Posted by mrryde
    You live in the shadow of the greatest city in the world, but you almost never go there.

    When you're away from Long Island, you love it and when you're there, you don't.

    You think if you're not from Long Island or NYC, you're not really from New York.

    You know the exact point at which Queens turns into Nassau simply on intuition.

    You don't go to Manhattan, you go to "The City".

    You never realize you have an accent till you leave.

    At some point in your life you've gone clamming.

    Either your parents or your grandparents lived in the city.

    You'd pay $8.50 for a movie.

    You don't live in Long Island. You live ON Long Island

    You know where the Commack Motor Inn is.

    Your distant future might involve the state of Florida.

    You can correctly pronounce places like Happauge, Commack, Islip,
    Islandia, Massapequa.

    You know the location of 6 malls and a dozen McDonalds and 36 7-11's.

    You never, ever want to "change at Jamaica..."

    You've tried to find the Amityville Horror house.

    No, you don't want mustard on that burger!!

    Each one of your diverse friends mercilessly makes fun of his own background.

    You've had a seagull crap on your car.

    You have or someone you know has fallen asleep on the LIRR and ended
    up in one of these three places; Babylon, Port Washington or Hicksville.

    You went to an elementary school that promoted dodge ball as the number 1 game among children 7-13.

    You know White Castle is terrible for you and the food sucks but you periodically "Get the Crave".

    You want the Yankees to stay in the Bronx, but would probably go to more games if they moved to Manhattan.

    You've missed that "Drunk Train", the 2:42 am out of Penn Station and had the dreaded wait until 5:30 am.

    You or someone you know has owned an animal that came from North Shore Animal League.

    Quick! Who's the Suffolk County Executive? Don't know do you?!

    You've never taken an MTA bus.

    The Long Island Expressway isn't really as bad as everybody thinks.

    You don't associate Fire Island with gay men.

    You know which parts of the Godfather where filmed on Long Island.

    You've said stupid things like "Strong Island".

    You curse. A lot.

    You've paid a $10 cover charge to get into a bar, but got nothing for
    it.

    You think Islip MacArthur airport is cute and you enjoy watching it grow up.

    Billy Joel said it best, "either you date a rich girl from the North Shore,or a cool girl from the South Shore".

    You don't really see the big deal about the Hamptons, unless you got smashed at the Bawdy Barn (sound familiar)?

    When people ask "where are you from?" you answer Long Guy Land and automatically assume everyone in the world knows that answer means New York.

    You've always liked Billy Joel and you own several of his "records" is it just me or are all girls from Rockville Center bitches???

    The Belt Parkway sucks!

    You're used to driving down the street in December and seeing more lit-up menorahs than you can shake a Latka at. In fact, even your non-Jewish friends know what a Latka is.

    Your parents took you to Nathans or Carvel (on the way home from the beach).

    News 12 sucks.

    You know where at least one strip club is.

    Regular gas - $3.39 and you still pay it!!!

    You hate paying tolls.

    Block parties...

    You don't have to go far to see your family.

    You remember Grumman.

    You've gotten drunk on the bleachers of some high school

    You know the color of the water at Jones Beach was not BLUE!

    You can pinpoint the day that you realized that Adventureland sucks.
    You are nearing the day that you realize that Great Adventure sucks.

    You have a friend who knows a guy who has a friend whose sister knows this woman whose daughter sat next to Amy Fisher in 10th grade Social Studies.

    You were upset when all the Roy Rogers turned into Wendy's.

    You can spout off all the LIRR stops between Penn Station and Ronkonkoma.

    You think the people from Brooklyn are "da wunz dat tawk wit aaccent"

    Sledding in the sumps

    You knew of Massapequa before the Amy Fisher-Joey Buttafuoco
    nightmare

    You thought going to Queens was a hike

    When you live somewhere else and are astounded to see that people actually stop at yellow lights.

    When you just sort of presume that wherever you live, you'll be able to find good delis, good pizza, and good bagels.

    You can name at least three bands that came from Long Island.

    When you walk in the city and you see two men holding hands...it becomes normal to you.

    No word ends in an ER, just an AH.

    You actually get these jokes and pass them on to other friends from Long Island.
    Ewegottaproblumwitdat....

  9. #9
    Join Date
    Nov 2002
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    Melbourne, Australia
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    Belmont Park, reprazent!

  10. #10
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    Oct 2003
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    ut, happily
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    Quote Originally Posted by Pedro
    Shit Ski Guide, We grew up in the same town. How old are you?
    heh. I'm 27. but I repeat, I left there by the time I was 8 or 9, and I don't even really know how long I lived in Dix Hills specifically - maybe just 3 years. I think I went 1st -3rd grade there and that's it. I don't really remember many names or anything like that, and doubt I have any school pics from that era.
    current ventures:


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    Adventures in Search & Social Marketing
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  11. #11
    Join Date
    Jan 2005
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    CA
    Posts
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    Quote Originally Posted by skiguide
    heh. I'm 27. but I repeat, I left there by the time I was 8 or 9, and I don't even really know how long I lived in Dix Hills specifically - maybe just 3 years. I think I went 1st -3rd grade there and that's it. I don't really remember many names or anything like that, and doubt I have any school pics from that era.
    Yeah, Im 29 and it looks like you would have went to a different Grade school based on where you live.....I too rember freds, My parents love that place.
    I stay up all night, I go to sleep watching dragnet

  12. #12
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    Quote Originally Posted by Pedro
    Yeah, Im 29 and it looks like you would have went to a different Grade school based on where you live.....I too rember freds, My parents love that place.
    Bawahaha, first of all, I am obviously hopped up on cold meds right now, cause I'm 28, not 27! (and will be 29 in april, omg) doh! sorry bout that - sick with this retarded cold.

    so yea, we're really closer in age duh.

    freds diner was my fave place to go with my granpa -they were pretty good family friends (my grandparents lived on Warner Ave in Huntington)...I think I also briefly went to a grade school there before we got into the lauren ave house in dix hills - which, my mistake earlier, was #21.
    Last edited by skiguide; 01-08-2006 at 02:37 PM.
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  13. #13
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    Quote Originally Posted by skiguide
    Bawahaha, first of all, I am obviously hopped up on cold meds right now, cause I'm 28, not 27! (and will be 29 in april, omg) doh! sorry bout that - sick with this retarded cold.
    Its funny you said that, when i was 28, for months I thought I was 27, i guess i just didn't care....Someone then reminded me how old I was and i was blown away.......30 is right around the corner and i hope my B-day will be on the slopes, since its late in may I think its going to be a Tuckermans Trip or I am going to head west.
    I stay up all night, I go to sleep watching dragnet

  14. #14
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    Not from the Island, but spent enough time there. That entire list is so on the money.

    Save the Oak Beach Inn!
    "There is a hell of a huge difference between skiing as a sport- or even as a lifestyle- and skiing as an industry"
    Hunter S. Thompson, 1970 (RIP)

  15. #15
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    Quote Originally Posted by Plakespear
    Not from the Island, but spent enough time there. That entire list is so on the money.

    Save the Oak Beach Inn!

    OBI Used to have a big Billboard that they would tow around that read Move out of New York before its too late.
    I stay up all night, I go to sleep watching dragnet

  16. #16
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    Sep 2001
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    only been to LI once, worked the LI ski show and did these 2 in one night:

    You have or someone you know has fallen asleep on the LIRR and ended
    up in one of these three places; Babylon, Port Washington or Hicksville.


    You've missed that "Drunk Train", the 2:42 am out of Penn Station and had the dreaded wait until 5:30 am.

  17. #17
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    Two words:

    Twisted Sister

  18. #18
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    Back in the day I worked at Ski Stop, Princeton and Mountain Aire ski shops
    I resolve PC issues remotely. Need to get rid of all that pr0n you downloaded on your work laptop? Or did you just get a ton of viruses from searching for "geriatic midget sex"? Either way I can fix them. PM Me for maggot prices.

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  19. #19
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    I believe one of the funniest things I ever seen at the Wobbly Barn was a guy from Long Island and a girl from Boston having one of those near last call conversations about people from the North Shore and people from the South Shore. I think they must have gone on for about 15 minutes totally agreeing on the differences between the two types before I informed them that one of them was talking about Long Island and the other was talking about Boston.
    "Don't drive angry."

    Best quote from the movie "Groundhog Day"

  20. #20
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    Quote Originally Posted by Plakespear
    Save the Oak Beach Inn!
    Spent my 17th birthday at that pit. Thought it was great at the time, though -- presumably because it was my 17th birthday and I didn't get carded. Hard to believe that was 20 years ago.

    Skiguide, you don't know the CMI because you moved before you hit the relevant age.

    Westbury inna house!
    not counting days 2016-17

  21. #21
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    Quote Originally Posted by Shen
    Two words:

    Twisted Sister
    Three words... you forgot "frickin'."

  22. #22
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    The OBI what a sausage fest. Rollin in my 5.0.....

    The only club that was worth a shit was caffiene/voodoo. That place was a trip
    I resolve PC issues remotely. Need to get rid of all that pr0n you downloaded on your work laptop? Or did you just get a ton of viruses from searching for "geriatic midget sex"? Either way I can fix them. PM Me for maggot prices.

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  23. #23
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    Quote Originally Posted by skiguide
    Damn I really miss that Carvel shop in Huntington my grandparents always took me too. And the Fred's Diner on Jericho.
    Yummmm! Fred's Diner. Too bad they ruined it when they turned it into a restaurant. The food was still good, but it just wasn't the same. I remember going there with my dad, sitting at the counter and watching Sunny make me the best damn french toast around. I moved away about 8 years ago, but heard the family sold the business not too long ago.

    Dix Hills/South Huntington representin' here.
    Because rich has nothing to do with money.

  24. #24
    Join Date
    Oct 2003
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    Long Island NY
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    145
    I love these threads about long island...its so true!!

    Wantagh/East Meadow in da house!!!
    Snow?

  25. #25
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    Quote Originally Posted by spanky
    I remember going there with my dad, sitting at the counter and watching Sunny make me the best damn french toast around. I moved away about 8 years ago, but heard the family sold the business not too long ago.
    hells ya!!! counter style - the only way to go at Fred's. I loved Sunny! he always made me the best sunnyside up eggs
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