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  1. #1
    Join Date
    Feb 2004
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    a few blocks from the beach
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    2,992

    Signs from around the world - expect to laugh

    The following are signs seen overseas where the actual message became somewhat lost in translation.

    In a Bucharest hotel lobby:
    The lift is being fixed for the day. During that time we regret that you will be unbearable.

    In a Belgrade elevator:
    To move the cabin, push button for wishing floor. If the cabin should enter more persons, each one should press a number of wishing floor. Driving is then going alphabetically by national order.

    In a Paris hotel elevator:
    Please leave your values at the front desk.

    In a hotel in Athens:
    Visitors are expected to complain at the office between the hours of 9 & 11am daily.

    In a Yugoslavian hotel:
    The flattening of underwear with pleasure is the job of the chambermaid.

    In the lobby of a Moscow hotel across from a Russian orthodox monastery:
    You are welcome to visit the cemetery where famous Russian and soviet composers, artists, and writers are buried daily except Thursday.

    In an Austrian hotel for skiers:
    Not to perambulate the corridors in the hours of repose in the boots of ascension.

    On a menu in a Swiss restaurant:
    Our wines leave you nothing to hope for.

    On a menu in a Polish hotel:
    Salad a firm's own make; limpid red beer soup with cheesy dumplings in the form of a finger; roasted duck let loose; beef rashers beaten up in the country people's fashion.

    In a Tokyo hotel:
    Please take advantage of the chambermaids.

    In a Hong Kong supermarket:
    For your convenience we recommend courteous, efficient self-service.

    In a Hong Kong dress shop:
    Order your summers suit. Because is big rush we will execute customers in strict rotation.

    From the Soviet Weekly:
    There will be a Moscow Exhibition of the Arts by 15,000 Soviet Republic painters and sculptors. These were executed over the past 2 years.

    In an East African newspaper:
    A new swimming pool is rapidly taking shape since the contractors have thrown in the bulk of their workers.

    In a Vienna hotel:
    In case of fire, do your utmost to alarm the porter.

    In Germany's Black Forest:
    It is strictly forbidden on our Black Forest camping site that people of different sex, for instance men & women, live together in one tent unless they are married for that purpose.

    An ad by a Hong Kong dentist:
    Teeth extracted by the latest Methodists.

    A Russian chess book:
    A lot of water has been passed under the bridge since this variation has been played.

    In the window of a Swedish furrier:
    Fur coats made for the ladies from their own skin.

    On a box of a clockwork toy in Hong Kong:
    Guaranteed to work throughout its useful life.

    Detour sign in Kyushu, Japan:
    Stop---Drive sideways.

    Swiss mountain inn:
    Special today--no ice cream

    Copenhagen airline ticket office:
    We take your bags and send them in all directions.

    Moscow hotel room:
    If this is your first visit to the USSR, you are welcome to it.

    Norwegian cocktail lounge:
    Ladies are requested not to have children in the bar.

    Budapest zoo:
    Please do not feed the animals. If you have any suitable food, give it to the guard on duty.

    A notice in a Japanese hotel (ca. 1950):
    Please not to steal towels. If you are not person to do such, please not to read notice.

    Office of a Roman doctor:
    Specialist in women and other diseases.

    Acapulco hotel:
    The manager has personally passed all the water served here.

    Tokyo shop:
    Our nylons cost more than common, but you'll find that they are best in the long run.

    Japanese instructions on an air conditioner:
    Cooles & heates: If you want just condition of warm in your room, please control yourself.

    Car rental brochure in Tokyo:
    When passenger of foot heave in sight, tootle the horn. Trumpet him melodiously at first, but if he still obstacles your passage then tootle him with vigor.

    Two signs from a Majorcan shop entrance:
    English well talking. Here speeching American.

    A sign on the lion cage at a zoo in the Czech Republic:
    No smoothen the lion.

    At Rome's airport:
    Foreign Axchange.

    A Finnish hotel's instructions in case of fire:
    If you are unable to leave your room, expose yourself in the window.

    In a Japanese restaurant (ca. 1950):
    We reserve the right to serve refuse to anyone.
    .

  2. #2
    Join Date
    Sep 2005
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    Wasatch Back: 7000'
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    12,966
    AC, now that's a lot of research! ...or, you've just spent a lot of time at hotels!!
    Last edited by schindlerpiste; 11-15-2005 at 04:57 PM.

  3. #3
    Join Date
    Oct 2005
    Location
    retired
    Posts
    586
    Quote Originally Posted by yogachik
    In a Tokyo hotel:
    Please take advantage of the chambermaids.
    i am so going to tokyo

  4. #4
    Join Date
    May 2002
    Location
    Norte del río
    Posts
    2,212
    Ich Leibe Oesterreich!!


  5. #5
    Join Date
    Nov 2005
    Posts
    1

    A sign from Amsterdam:

    A "Coffeeshop" in Amsterdam
    We don't sell coffee

  6. #6
    Join Date
    Oct 2003
    Location
    Outside the cube
    Posts
    6,941
    Quote Originally Posted by yogachik
    The following are signs seen overseas where the actual message became somewhat lost in translation.

    Norwegian cocktail lounge:
    Ladies are requested not to have children in the bar.
    Okay, we'll do our best to hold them in!

    Sprite
    "I call it reveling in natures finest element. Water in its pristine form. Straight from the heavens. We bathe in it, rejoicing in the fullest." --BZ

  7. #7
    Join Date
    Sep 2005
    Location
    Wasatch Back: 7000'
    Posts
    12,966
    Quote Originally Posted by Hayduke
    Ich Leibe Oesterreich!!

    The really sick part of this sign is contained below the word "Fucking". Two small children with the words "Bitte, nicht so schnell". Translation: "Please, not so fast". Are they talking about the flow of traffic, or the kids doiing the dirty deed?
    Last edited by schindlerpiste; 11-16-2005 at 04:58 PM.

  8. #8
    Join Date
    Sep 2005
    Location
    In rain shadow of the Sierra CC,NV
    Posts
    3,861
    Well giggle worthy. Thank You

    ...Remember, those who think Global Warming is Fake, also think that Adam & Eve were Real...

  9. #9
    Join Date
    Nov 2003
    Location
    Stuck in perpetual Meh
    Posts
    35,247
    Quote Originally Posted by Hayduke
    Ich Leibe Oesterreich!!

    All I see is a Mr. Yuck.

  10. #10
    Join Date
    Jul 2004
    Location
    R.O.C.
    Posts
    4,026
    well done,very funny.
    Calmer than you dude

  11. #11
    Join Date
    Feb 2004
    Location
    a few blocks from the beach
    Posts
    2,992
    From today's Independent (England):

    Broken English
    Big drive on in Beijing at the moment to eliminate howlers from the city's
    bilingual signs ahead of the Olympics. A local professor recently found
    disabled loos marked "Deformed man toilet;" "Staff Only" rendered as "Office
    area, please do not coming;" and "Keep off the grass" as "Preserve green
    grass and retain the green colour." Other English horrors reported to China
    Daily are: airport emergency exits labelled "No entry on peacetime;" sign
    warning of a wet road ahead: "The slippery are very crafty;" and an official
    sign above the entrance to the Park of Ethnic Minorities calling it "Racist
    Park."
    .

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