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  1. #1
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    Again with the review of skis. It's back, only better. The Dinms ski review.

    I found my fat ski review but I am adding some more and not making it so gay.

    2004 Volant Machete Fat Bastard (FB)
    Dimensions:
    128-94-116

    Well it was fat. It was also a fucking bastard. But in a good way. This was by far the most stable ski of the test. It straight lined like a pair of well waxed railroad tracks. Oh man it was fast. It loved long fast turns and as long as you were going fast it would treat you well. Big wide open fast turns not letting any thing get in it's way was pretty much it’s domain. Floated well. As to be expected with a ski with THOSE specs, so in the little bits of pow left it was great. I the tight shit you just had to jam it around. In short, this ski as long as it was going fast and you didn't try and jam it into places(moguls, trees, anything that didn't have 20 by 20 feet for you to turn in) it was heaven...only the clouds were really fuckin' heavy.

    2004 Elan Mantis 777
    Dimensions:
    117-87-107

    The "Green Machine" was the not the Fat Bastard. It was quite the opposite. It was a lively snappy easy ride. I liked it. In the steep moguls of the peak chair it ruled. It flew in to the air when told and came down smooth too. It's half assed twin tip land backward almost was well as the PRs. In about 3 inches of heavy pow it skied effortlessly. They made little short turns in it without work when different ski would get caught up in the 3 day old 35 degree slop. On groomers they carved like a GS ski on steroids, popping up 2 inches on each transition. The only flaw was it's lack if perfect stabliy like some other skis. It flopped... A light all-mountain skier that’s looking for something that skis well every where but stability is not a to much of a concern would love it. Or as a alterative for some fat twins like the girly Prs or sratch BC.

    2004 Head Mad Trix Trixs MoJo
    Dimensions:
    125-90-118

    Sporting more sidecut then the infamous PRs but twice the stability and more pop. I loved it for the most part but man it skied short. I skied the 176cm. I wish I would of skied the 186. They felt like 150s. Other than that they were pretty damn cool. I was mocking on icy groomers and never lost an edge...till I got to slush. For some reason they didn't hold maybe the snow was just not firml enough to keep them in one place. In moguls they felt nice. but in icy crud they just didn't cut it. I didn't get a chance to ski pow in them but I think they would be pretty cool.

    2004 Volant Machete Spatula V2(Man, that's a long name!)
    Dimentions: 120-125-115

    Yes, I dared to ski the Spatula on ice but when I stepped on to the steep icy moguls of the Harmony ridge I was pleasantly surprised like seeing a fist coming twords your eye but missing and hitting you right smack dab on your forehead. It was bad but not death. They skied...well I don't really know how to explan how they skied. They just did. They were Ok as long as holding an edge was not an issue. In the mogals they droped into the fall line skidded to the next moguly platform and spun around and did it again. On grommers they skied like 40 pound snowlerblades that caught more edges then...things that catch edges. On groomers they did on-snow 360s at 20 MPH. I had the chance to ski them for about 4 turns on some old slop. They ripped. Carving out whatever type of turn you want effortlessly. No really way to explain it. I was pretty impressed till after making those On to a cat track at full speed I about died several times. The edges will catch on a fly if there was flies. On corn they were nice too. Landing them was smooth and easy. The only reason I would want a pair (Well, I mean, I want a pair but...you know what I mean.) is changing from a normal ski and to those back again would be kinda weird all the time.

    Volant Machete Sin
    Dimensions:
    115-81-104

    This was by far the most skinniest and most versatile ski in the test. Although it was nice throughout. It just didn't jump out at me. It carved skied any radius turns was pretty stable. I landed a safety 180 (something that I normally have trouble with) on them and skied away. Until I hit a snowboarder standing in the landing zone... I just don't think I had enough time on them.

    Head Monster 85 I.M.
    Dimentions: 122-85-110

    I’m redo-ing this review completely because I bought these skis and while I skill love them I have found flaws and such. I love the monsters because they are big and somewhat burly yet they still carve easily. In the mogals they are heavy but you, a lot of the time, do not have to throw them around, they will go were you want them too. They have some weird quarks though. They do not like some almost tracked out cascade concrete in some places because sometimes they sink sometimes they float over it and they are bulky so you can really turn them over in it. Makes it kinda weird sometimes

    Rossi XXX( I was skied these sometime else)
    Dimentions 123-90-110

    These skis suck. I found them both unstable and hard to turn. They require a weird stance on the ski and just leaning over them won’t fix it. They were heavy and didn’t turn all that great. They weren’t all that bad just skiing hard pack or pow but the shit in between is weird. I wouldn’t recommend this ski becuase they are not anything special They don’t turn well, they are not that stable they don’t float any better then most fats. Whatever. Demo them I can’t deside what you like or don’t I’m just reporting it. Have a problem with that?

    03-04 Volkl V-Pro 113-83-105

    Much to my surprise I didn’t like this ski. I am a fan of heavy skis. I don’t believe that they can make a ski stable without being heavy or super long. They turned okay and I did venture out into the unknown of two jumps called the terrain park and they jumped real well and landed smooth. They turned nice and quick and were fun. But fun doesn’t make a ski good. They were just so bad in the junk that I could not like them. It was almost like instead of flexing though it they didn’t and went the other way (To the sides) and I’m not a light individual. I would still recommend them to someone who wants a mid-fat ski for cuising in the spring and jumping with stability out of mind.

    [b]Volkl ****** (6 star, geez, that is so gay isn’t it?) Okay, so I’m not a racer. But would it kill me if I could have a race ski? Yeah so on anything hard these ski have no match. I was only supposed to have 3 runs or so on them but I mached and took like 6. I just couldn’t help myself. Jesus, could it have anymore edge grip? I think not. They had a weird feel for the snow, prolly because of the motion system. They had a lot of pop but still kinda stayed on the snow whist popping. They didn’t really snap turns or anything but they were pretty turny. And were fast fast fast. I skied the 168 and didn’t regret it. (Well they were they only ones but you bet the idea.) They were short I cannot deny that but it wasn’t a bad thing. I think for everyday skiing a 175 would almost perfect skinny midfat/park (even though they were pretty heavy) ski. To bad I’m poor as hell.

    Rossi B3 123-94-110

    I liked this more then the XXX. It was stable and had enough power. They were a good ski all around. Great in pow. They floated well and were light enough to kick around.Very easy to turn but didn’t have the edge grip that I like and require from a ski that I would buy. Prolly be a good AT or all around pow ski though. I had some fun on them, if you get a chance too, try em. They may just strike your fancy.

    [b]Line motherships[b] 127-97-117

    I want a pair, and if I didn’t have to buy some boots that don’t make me die I would be searching for a pair. They turn quickly and easily. They are light but are still very stable. You can get lazy on them and when you need to kick them in the tail they stay under you and still trying to do more. They keep an edge on ice. And are they shit billy goating though bullshit hard stuff in tight situations. Oh and did I mention that they floated into the air off kickers with what some people call ‘ease.’

    [b]Line Eric Polard Pro

    Smaller, heavyer and stiffer then the motherships. They were a versitile ride. Floated well and tunred well and were, well, stable. Mount them back far cuase they were way up front. I had put that back mid run they had so much tail. They were heavy and damp though. I figure they would just be a fat park ski but they were not. Yeah, so yeah.

    No I'm going to steal splatters' idea rank skis. (Yes I do know that I'm a fucking asshole)

    Pow:
    Spatula
    Motherships
    B3
    Fat bastard
    Mantis 777
    MoJo
    Poland Pro
    XXX
    Monster 85
    V-pro
    SIN




    Mogals
    Mantis 777
    V-pro
    6-star
    Mothership
    MoJo
    Monster 85
    Sin
    B3
    Two Patrol Tobagens with markers
    XXX
    Spatula
    Fat bastard


    Spring/Corn
    Monster 85
    Mantis 777
    MoJo
    Mothership
    6-star
    Sin
    XXX
    Poland Pro
    Spatula
    Fat Bastard



    Easy to ride
    Mantis 777
    Motherships
    MoJo
    Poland Pro
    Monster 85
    Sin
    6-star
    XXX
    Fat Bastard
    Spatula(On hardpack, in pow first)
    Cordless telephone

    Park
    Mantis 777
    MoJo
    V-pro
    Sin
    Mothership
    Poland pro
    6-star
    Monster 85
    A flamying pile doggy shit.
    Fat bastard
    XXX
    Spatula

    What’d I’d buy if I had money

    Monsters (did)
    Motherships
    6-star
    Mantis
    MoJos
    poland Pro
    Spatulas
    V-pros
    B3
    Sins
    Fat basterds

    So...yeah. Yeah....and I know. Yeah. (But really, go on.)
    No.

  2. #2
    Join Date
    Oct 2003
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    Under your Moustaasch.
    Posts
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    Lovely
    Thank you again Dinms!!!
    I have never been good with facts.

  3. #3
    Join Date
    Sep 2002
    Location
    MT
    Posts
    1,360

    Re: Again with the review of skis. It's back, only better. The Dinms ski review.

    Originally posted by DINMS
    [B]

    Volkl ****** (6 star, geez, that is so gay isn’t it?) Okay, so I’m not a racer. But would it kill me if I could have a race ski? Yeah so on anything hard these ski have no match. I was only supposed to have 3 runs or so on them but I mached and took like 6. I just couldn’t help myself. Jesus, could it have anymore edge grip? I think not. They had a weird feel for the snow, prolly because of the motion system. They had a lot of pop but still kinda stayed on the snow whist popping. They didn’t really snap turns or anything but they were pretty turny. And were fast fast fast. I skied the 168 and didn’t regret it. (Well they were they only ones but you bet the idea.) They were short I cannot deny that but it wasn’t a bad thing. I think for everyday skiing a 175 would almost perfect skinny midfat/park (even though they were pretty heavy) ski. To bad I’m poor as hell.

    they didn't really snap turns but they were turny? jesus kid, how tight of a turning machine do you want? these skis have one of the shortest turn radiuses out there.

    and have fun using them as a park ski
    My Montana has an East Infection

  4. #4
    Join Date
    Nov 2002
    Location
    Melbourne, Australia
    Posts
    6,595

    Question Re: Again with the review of skis. It's back, only better. The Dinms ski review.

    Originally posted by DINMS
    [B]Line motherships 127-97-117

    And are they shit billy goating though bullshit hard stuff in tight situations.

    'The shit' or merely 'shit'?

  5. #5
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    Whatever. Demo them I can’t deside what you like or don’t I’m just reporting it. Have a problem with that?


    The shit, BTW.

    Mtman, They weren't that heavy from what I could tell they landed pretty solidly. And they liked to turn and stay turning but they did not snap in and out of the turn. So...just trying to find something to criticise or are you THAT dumb?
    No.

  6. #6
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    Sep 2002
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    MT
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    i'm just dumb i guess
    My Montana has an East Infection

  7. #7
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    Yes you are.
    No.

  8. #8
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    "To bad I’m poor as hell."

    I hear ya.

  9. #9
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    Originally posted by Benny Profane
    "To bad I’m poor as hell."

    I hear ya.
    Yeah.
    No.

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