Any adoptive parents out there?

[hutash]

Actually it's a fucking mind blower with no prep.

We adopted from China, and I was dragged into the kid thing, (that's the back story).

We fly to Hong Kong early, because we like to travel and whatever. It's an awesome town, and I had some work stuff to do, so we went to some awesome restaurants with locals. We went on boat rides, stayed in an awesome hotel, hiked... you know, had a honeymoon.
We fly to the center of China, check into a hotel and get situated. Very soon after, a knock comes on the door, and they hand a sleeping baby to my wife, and leave.

Kid wakes up starts screaming bloody murder, loudly. My wife freaks the hell out and hands the kid to me. I'm like WTF do I do with this hairless screamer????

It all worked out great in the end.

No doubt you had some hot holiday bangin' sex, at least up until the knock on the door. Usually that results in a baby anyway, just nine months later, not nine minutes

That was a funny ass story, thanks for telling it. I can just picture the looks on your faces

[hutash]

I know it is Hollywood/made for TV (but some of the stories are probably based on true cases), but the other night on Criminal Minds was an adopted kid story. He was adopted and raised by his real Grandma. Story basically was his adopted mother had an older daughter that ended up pregnant at 16 and her Mother adopted the kid and raised them as sister/brother. He went all crazy and killed his birth mother ( adopted sister) in the show as part of the "he was sexually attracted to his adopted sister and wanted to have sex with her" premise. So that adopted situation would be very touchy and finding that out in late teens or early 20's would really be crazy one.

Eric Clapton was a "war child" raised by his grandmother, and told his mother was his sister. A side from a bit of a heroin problem he turned out okay, or at least filthy rich.

Not a bad guitar player either.

[alias_rice]

That would make a great episode on "Justified", but is so fucken depressing to know its real. Glad this kid has a great shot at a real life, one he certainly would have in that family.

The past 9 years of visiting back there has been quite an eye opener for a middle class white guy from Utah. I can't count the # of times I've just shook my head and thought "I can't believe this is real life." I used to just hit the hills and start exploring the various trails and logging roads and I'd drop into a holler and look around at the living conditions and say "oh my god, I've stepped into the set of deliverance."

[alias_rice]

Here is some postscript to this thread. Last weekend we traveled deep in the heart of Trump country to pick up our son. All went really well at court and we now have full legal custody pending adoption. The jurisdiction has also been transferred to Utah so we can finalize the adoption here.

On a non-technical note, I have to be honest here and say I had this little worry in the back of my head that even though I would love him and raise him, I worried that I may not see him as 100% my son. But as soon as I held him and played with him, those worries left and I felt the same for him as I did for the rest of my kids. He's healthy and happy and we are all super stoked about having him in our family.

The only downside of the trip was what we witnessed in court before our appointment. Before they did the traditional family and custody court, they did all of the child abuse cases. Unfortunately, these went 1.5 hours over and we had to witness the after effects of the decisions. We saw a grandpa go to jail for getting a DUI with his 2 grandkids in the car (which he had custody for), we saw a pill head melt down and threaten suicide when she lost custody. But by far the worst thing I think I have ever seen was when a mom lost custody of her ~7 year old son. The attorneys and counselors came out and told the boy he was going home with his dad and he starts crying and screaming, "no, I want my mommy!, Please let me go with her!", as the bailiff escorts the women out. Just before the crying boy got on the elevator with his dad he breaks free again and starts running and screaming for his mom again. When they finally got him out of there I looked around the room and it was like everyone was took a sucker punch to the gut. It's hard to explain except to say it was horrific. I have no idea what she did, but for a mom to lose custody of a 7 year old it had to be something shitty. I think that boy will be seared into my memory for a while. And that whole hour and a half just about made me lost hope for the future of our species.

And on that note, I am off to change some diapers.

[KQ]

All the best to you and your family!

[Art Shirk]

And that whole hour and a half just about made me lost hope for the future of our species.

Here's some quick soul bleach

[MagnificentUnicorn]

Not an adoptive parent but an adoptee as was my brother (my parents had one natural child - my oldest brother). I cannot remember a time when I did not know that I was adopted. My parents talked openly and loving about how we came into their lives as newborns. No big whoop to me ever. Just a fact of my life like anything else.

Me too and good job OP.

[glademaster]

On a non-technical note, I have to be honest here and say I had this little worry in the back of my head that even though I would love him and raise him, I worried that I may not see him as 100% my son. But as soon as I held him and played with him, those worries left and I felt the same for him as I did for the rest of my kids. He's healthy and happy and we are all super stoked about having him in our family.

And on that note, I am off to change some diapers.

Dude, a very heartfelt congratulations and good for you! It takes someone special to have that creeping doubt, punch through it, and realize it was a misgiving. I don't have much to say besides your heart is in the right place. I was cut from a cloth that didn't include that sort of unfettered love for someone that isn't "mine." I tried, I failed, I tried again, and eventually realized that it wasn't a failure, so much as accepting the fact that I am not as compassionate and empathetic as a lot of people. It's humbling and inspiring to witness people who embody those traits. Cheers!

[hutash]

There is nothing worse then having to sit in a court room and see just what idiots an apparently large segment of our society is. That said, people like you who do the right thing and step up to help those in need trump the assholes of life (Trump included.)

Good luck with the new son. Got him any skis yet?

[flatlander#2]

Was adopted, last one of three, then parents had the miracle. I always say my parents picked us they had to take the last one.

[KQ]

Something some parents do for adoptive kids is to celebrate their "adoption day" in addition to a birthday to reiterate how special it was that they came into their family.

[plugboots]

That court experience sucked hard, as almost all court experiences do. It's going to be a ride. Enjoy it, and good job.