Toughest thing I have done as a parent thus far

[Skidog]

Tell my 7 yr old daughter we have to put the cat down. Wow...rough.

Now a question I could use some advice on. She asked to go with me to put the cat down Saturday. I'm on the fence here.

Input please.

[KQ]

I would let her go and allow her to say goodbye but by no means let her witness it (you probably weren't thinking that). Going to the clinic and seeing the cat go behind a door won't be much different than you taking it out of the house and leaving her there and it might give her more closure.

[Skidog]

Good advice problem is I'm going in the room and it would really only be us 2. Don't know if I would want her to be in the waiting room upset without me. Hmmmmm this all sucks.

[dtown]

Say goodbye at home then go do the deed, at the same time ship her off to a friends for a trip to the pool or something then after its done take her out for ice cream. That's how we'd do it.

[stfu&gbtw]

Tell my 7 yr old daughter we have to put the cat down. Wow...rough.

Now a question I could use some advice on. She asked to go with me to put the cat down Saturday. I'm on the fence here.

Input please.

Pm Iceman.

All kidding aside, in my opinion, absolutely the kid should go. Fact is, none of us gets out alive. Relatively speaking, this is a great opportunity to introduce this unavoidable reality in a relatively safe space with limited consequences. My daughter is 7, and while I would never force her to go, I would be welcoming her to come if she were so inclined.

Paging Hutash... Hutash to the pet euthenasia thread please...

Best of luck man...

[Skidog]

Pm Iceman.

All kidding aside, in my opinion, absolutely the kid should go. Fact is, none of us gets out alive. Relatively speaking, this is a great opportunity to introduce this unavoidable reality in a relatively safe space with limited consequences. My daughter is 7, and while I would never force her to go, I would be welcoming her to come if she were so inclined.

Paging Hutash... Hutash to the pet euthenasia thread please...

Best of luck man...

She has unfortunately dealt with death. Her grandmother passed when she was 5. They were close.

I was leaning toward bringing her. I will await more replies and reflection on my part.

I appreciate the condolences and input. Much thanks

[MTT]

Vibes.

It should be OK, no matter what you do.
I do not know the right answer. Be detached from the situation I could make a case for either decision.
I guess it's up to your intuition on what will be most palatable for your child.

[Skidog]

Say goodbye at home then go do the deed, at the same time ship her off to a friends for a trip to the pool or something then after its done take her out for ice cream. That's how we'd do it.

Thankfully we have my son's bday party in the afternoon and then they have a kids night out with friends so they will be occupied. My son's only 4 he just doesn't get it yet so....the girl? Well she was very attached.

For the record this is a nearly 14 yr old cat who had what I would consider a great life. This isn't altogether shocking for anyone here, but reality is harsh for a kid. I wished she would pass at home but she is in pain so it's time.

Thanks again

[Kenny Satch]

IMO 7 years old is still too young for her to witness this act of mercy or be in the waiting room as it happens.
This could scar her
Sorry if my opinion is upsetting I mean no harm
vibes

[jono]

Sorry to hear of the situation. FWIW, a 7 yo I know well lost her shit pretty thoroughly when her cat died; she'd lost her (close) grandpa a couple years before. She took that pretty stoically, probably reacting to the adults around her. She loved the cat, too, but I have to think it actually went harder because of her previous loss. Really tough to help a kid say goodbye, not sure how I'd decide your question. Might be harder than expected. Good luck!

[mcski]

Since she asked, I say let her go. Room included. It's clear she knows what death is so that isn't a issue to protect her from seeing.

[Skidog]

Kenny. Response doesn't upset me at all. It was the point I want to hear both sides to help make my decision.

[GimpToo]

If what she sees "in the room" is essentially the cat falling asleep, then I see no harm done . . . if what she would experience would be somewhat gruesome, then I'd say no . . . why ruin her time for her brother's party and a night out - jmho . . . good luck, and sorry for your loss

[Skidog]

If what she sees "in the room" is essentially the cat falling asleep, then I see no harm done . . . if what she would experience would be somewhat gruesome, then I'd say no . . . why ruin her time for her brother's party and a night out - jmho . . . good luck, and sorry for your loss

This is what I worry about. You never know what can go wrong with that injection or whatever. Ugh...

Thanks folks. Keep em coming.

[iceman]

Leaving her in the waiting room is not a good idea I think. To me, 7 is a little young for this, there's no particular rush to get her more fully acquainted with death, I'd try to distract her and get it done when she's in school or something, but I can see the other side of it, good luck mang.

My daughter was about 7 when we were driving down our road, she said, "Daddy, look, a bunny!" THUMP. Flat as a pancake. Oops.That was her introduction to death, Daddy kills bunnies with the car.

That and the bird feeder, which became a hawk feeder. She was watching the birds out the window, hawk swoops down and blasts this bird in an explosion of feathers. Other bird flees and smashes into the window about 6 inches from her face, falls to the ground twitching, then dies. She was a bit traumatized by the whole thing, we got rid of the bird feeder after that. We've also had to put dogs down periodically and we've just done it without an announcement, not sure if that's better or worse.

Oh and the time one of the dogs caught a baby rabbit and chewed its legs off. That wasn't good.

I don't think she knows about the fawn.

[cinnepa]

7 is young....i don't see the benefits of her witnessing her cats last breath. That just me though....say goodbyes at the house...and as someone said, have an ice cream afterwards in honor of the little feline.

[KQ]

I've never seen a cat put to sleep. Maybe it's peaceful. My horse that I put down last Fall did not go well. It was horrible. I wish I could get the image out of my mind. I don't think I'll ever be able to forget it or forgive myself though it had to be done. I think a bullet to the head would have been more humane.

[hawkgt]

we had to put down a 16 1/2 yr old dog couple months ago, tough.

I would allow my kid to go, we always have. death is life, you cant shield that.

vibes man, you'll make the right decision.

[hikesalot]

7 is young....i don't see the benefits of her witnessing her cats last breath. That just me though....say goodbyes at the house...and as someone said, have an ice cream afterwards in honor of the little feline.

This would be my route. I have kids 8 & 10. Our dog died in the middle of the night at home, while the kids had a friend over. It was 20 below so we put the dog outside to wait til morning. It was horrible. So in the morning we distracted the kids, took (dead) dog to vet, and told the kids the dog was VERY sick at the vet. We didn't want to break the news while the friend was there. This actually gave them all day to process that the dog might die. Then finally after the friend left we let them know. It was super sad.

[PassTheDutchie]

Beforehand, I'd want to sit the child down, explain everything in the process that is going to occur, potential things that could go wrong, etc. Then ask again if she would rather say goodbye at home. If she still wants to go, let her do so. And good on you for raising an empathetic, loving child.

[Bunion 2020]

No answers. Best of luck

[skifishbum]

i'd go with a this is the cycle of life aint always pretty would ya wanna take a rainbow bridge journey with your pet there to guide ya
learnin experience
but ive put all my kids down
cept tigger
he died in the front yard in our arms bfore we could get him in the car to the vet
actually easier that way
vibes rguardless

[Gepeto]

I could lay down a diatribe on this. My 14yo watched (up close and personal) 6 adults and two dogs go terminal and leave from the ages of 5 to 12. Three grandparents, two aunts and an uncle. All but the uncle, painfully close and in our everyday lives. I think he's much better for it. Separation and change are easier strides to take for him.

The dogs being the worst. Ex-wife made the male suffer through grand mal seizures on the kitchen floor for several days before relenting to being put down. I offered to terminate at home and have a nice cemetery on the property but, she's was to suburba'fied and a drama addict to consider the option. Both dogs begged to be put down. I would have much preferred to be the one to give them peace.

PastTheDutchie put it best so far

Being sorrowful and building remembrances are part of being emotionally balanced at any age. It just takes tact.
YMMV

[Skidog]

This would be my route. I have kids 8 & 10. Our dog died in the middle of the night at home, while the kids had a friend over. It was 20 below so we put the dog outside to wait til morning. It was horrible. So in the morning we distracted the kids, took (dead) dog to vet, and told the kids the dog was VERY sick at the vet. We didn't want to break the news while the friend was there. This actually gave them all day to process that the dog might die. Then finally after the friend left we let them know. It was super sad.

We warmed her up this way prior to last nights conversation. She knew the cat went to the vet the other day unexpectedly and we played on the really sick and in pain thing. She handled it better than expected. We will see when the cats finally gone. I gave my daughter the choice of today or Saturday. She picked saturday to have more time with her buddy. I don't know that i want the cat in pain for another day, but we got her on some strong ass pain meds so hopefully its bearable.

The worst part is other than that we know the cat has non treatable cancer, is that cats hide pain so fucking well that she is acting nearly normal. Looking for affection, following you around, purring. The damned tumor is in her mouth, painful to eat, eye tearing up from the pressue..but not showing signs of it at all...cats typically go somewhere alone when they know its time. I know that im not "rushing" this as she is in pain, but it still seems off.

thanks much for all the kind hearted replies. I know im not always the most liked person around here, so i appreciate it.

[Skidog]

i'd go with a this is the cycle of life aint always pretty would ya wanna take a rainbow bridge journey with your pet there to guide ya
learnin experience
but ive put all my kids down
cept tigger
he died in the front yard in our arms bfore we could get him in the car to the vet
actually easier that way
vibes rguardless

I wish she'd pass at home..would be much easier on all involved. I believe we owe it to our pets to be there in those final minutes if they have to be put down medically. I know some friends that simply have dropped their pet off and left...That pains me more than imaginable. We make a commitment to these animals and thats part of that commitment. I'll bawl my eyes out. I will have the vet bring all paperwork into the exam room or pay prior to the procedure just so I can escape the building quickly and cry alone in my car on the ride home. Then the fun of cleaning out litter pans, putting the food away kicks in....it'll be a rough couuple days. This was a member of our family for 14 years. Came across country with us, and a great cat in general.

another huge issue is we got all our current pets before my kids were born and all within a year or so of each other. The oldest dog (about 13) is really getting there....i fear we have a couple of these situations coming in the very near future. As said though death is part of life and we can't hide from it forever.