What would it take for you to join facebook?

[stfu&gbtw]

So, interesting development around Chez STFU.... I have a fairly distant relative, who, based on our relation, I should probably be a lot closer to. But it's never been smooth between us, and it won't ever be. This relative has recently become life threateningly ill. I found out that was happening last night, when another of my relatives decided it was time to let me know what was unfolding. The reason I did not know what was happening is that the ill individual, and the surrounding family members, have decided that the only means by which they are choosing to communicate about this issue is via Facebook, of which I am staunchly not a member. I'm not a member for a number of reasons - one of which being that I find the personal nature of things people choose to share on there to be pretty nauseating, and this is a great example of that. I also think it's absurd to think that this is the only means by which someone would choose to communicate such critical information. No phone calls, no emails, no nothing. Not even so much as to say that someone should go to Facebook if they want updates. Not being a member of the service has led to me spending a week completely unaware that this person's life is hanging in the balance.

I can see lots arguments for and against. Certainly, it's easier to post updates in one place, and it's easier to do so without creating a list of email addresses you want to communicate with. That also means that you're communicating this info with hundreds or thousands of people for whom these updates are likely to be TMI, while not ensuring that you communicate with all those people who might actually give a shit. It seems just a little too hands-off to me to think that news of life threatening illness gets broadcast without any sense of who the recipients are.

Now that I know this is unfolding, I have the option of following the updates, by joining facebook. I spoke briefly on the phone this morning with the person who's idea this is... There will not be any other forms of communication... No phone calls, no emails... I'd guess someone would get in touch when the person actually dies. The whole thing reminds me of the episode of Curb Your Enthusiasm where Larry's mother dies and no one tells him because they didn't want to bother him. A classic episode...

Also, this whole thing is very reminiscent of why I don't talk to this person more already. Am I prepared to let this person go to their grave without posting some inane bullshit on their facebook page for the masses to read? Yeah, probably. But it's enough to make me reconsider. The whole thing is incredible surreal... "Hey - you know, so and so is about to die... if you'd like some more info, you should join facebook."

Fucking weird...

Anybody got any insight on this one?

[1080Rider]

Yep, only friend your family members. Unfriend people that are annoying. You are correct, a lot of the shit is narcissistic bullshit, that being said, I can keep up w/ friends that I went to college with though they live across the planet. Pretty cool, really. (in your situation, it allows you to get updates and share your feelings, etc.)

[LightRanger]

Google Plus?

[PNWbrit]

Your indignant moral stance against Facebook and regarding electronic communication etiquette generally will probably be a valuable lesson to your relative as they face the last few moments of life. Well done.

Google Plus?

Maybe some other asshole in the family has an ethical problem with Google?

Hopefully the family will check with you before they appoint caterers for the funeral/wake. It'd be horrible if you had to miss that because of a disagreement over menu choices.

[hikesalot]

On FB, you do not have to post everything to everyone. It is possible to create a private group, add only the people you want to see that info, and only those in the group will see the posts there. I am in a several of these private groups. I rarely check my main page, but do go on to check what is happening in these groups. A couple are related to family updates, some are different friend groups, etc.

So, your relative may be posting everything to all friends, or not.

[AK47bp]

Never used FB and my life is great.

I actually run a program for my employees that includes a "Facebook Depression" service. Totally serious.

If it only happens on Facebook then none of my fucks are given.

[Flyoverland Captive]

Only friend family and close friends.
Set it so that anything you post is only viewable by your friends; the general public won't see any of it, nor will your friend's friends, if you set it that way. You can be as anonymous as you want to be.
You can un-follow annoying people without un-friending them any time.

[PNWbrit]

Only friend family and close friends.
Set it so that anything you post is only viewable by your friends;

And post a link to this thread.

[Meadow Skipper]

Your indignant moral stance against Facebook and regarding electronic communication etiquette generally will probably be a valuable lesson to your relative as they face the last few moments of life. Well done.

[...]

Hopefully the family will check with you before they appoint caterers for the funeral/wake. It'd be horrible if you had to miss that because of a disagreement over menu choices.

I guess it's not funny, but I still laughed.

My big problem with FB is the lack of nekkid girls.

[Danno]

I did too.

Sign up with a made up name so nobody will ever find you, but you can keep track of your relative.

[MakersTeleMark]

Create a fake profile and friend your fairly distant relative so that you can get the intel, then delete the account when they die.

Simple. If they choose that as the only means of communication and you give a nanofuck, then do the above.

Or not. No one is asking you to dive headfirst into the morass which is social networking.

[GeezerSteve]

Praxis Rx

FIFY

[mcski]

Seems like Instagram would save everyone a lot more time.

[stfu&gbtw]

Seems like Instagram would save everyone a lot more time.

I know, right? I really just want a deathbed selfie with a close up of the last meal. You know what they say... Pics or it didn't happen!

Thanks for the advice guys... Sounds like a fake account is the way to go. Now I just have to get Benny and Hugh on my friends list...

[BmillsSkier]

I did too.

Sign up with a made up name so nobody will ever find you, but you can keep track of your relative.

Aren't his relatives going to be a little weirded out when a guy named 'Cleveland Steamer' joins their group to check up on Uncle Ned's condition?


(actual name used by college buddy to join FB to get info for a similar situation, hilarity ensued.)

[char]

So, interesting development around Chez STFU.... I have a fairly distant relative, who, based on our relation, I should probably be a lot closer to. But it's never been smooth between us, and it won't ever be. This relative has recently become life threateningly ill. I found out that was happening last night, when another of my relatives decided it was time to let me know what was unfolding. The reason I did not know what was happening is that the ill individual, and the surrounding family members, have decided that the only means by which they are choosing to communicate about this issue is via Facebook, of which I am staunchly not a member. I'm not a member for a number of reasons - one of which being that I find the personal nature of things people choose to share on there to be pretty nauseating, and this is a great example of that. I also think it's absurd to think that this is the only means by which someone would choose to communicate such critical information. No phone calls, no emails, no nothing. Not even so much as to say that someone should go to Facebook if they want updates. Not being a member of the service has led to me spending a week completely unaware that this person's life is hanging in the balance.

I can see lots arguments for and against. Certainly, it's easier to post updates in one place, and it's easier to do so without creating a list of email addresses you want to communicate with. That also means that you're communicating this info with hundreds or thousands of people for whom these updates are likely to be TMI, while not ensuring that you communicate with all those people who might actually give a shit. It seems just a little too hands-off to me to think that news of life threatening illness gets broadcast without any sense of who the recipients are.

Now that I know this is unfolding, I have the option of following the updates, by joining facebook. I spoke briefly on the phone this morning with the person who's idea this is... There will not be any other forms of communication... No phone calls, no emails... I'd guess someone would get in touch when the person actually dies. The whole thing reminds me of the episode of Curb Your Enthusiasm where Larry's mother dies and no one tells him because they didn't want to bother him. A classic episode...

Also, this whole thing is very reminiscent of why I don't talk to this person more already. Am I prepared to let this person go to their grave without posting some inane bullshit on their facebook page for the masses to read? Yeah, probably. But it's enough to make me reconsider. The whole thing is incredible surreal... "Hey - you know, so and so is about to die... if you'd like some more info, you should join facebook."

Fucking weird...

Anybody got any insight on this one?

Ever consider that if you want this info via phone then you should call up a person who knows what's up? Im sure someone will talk to you.

Ironically this thread is just as full of passive aggressive bullshit as Facebook.

[stfu&gbtw]

Ever consider that if you want this info via phone then you should call up a person who knows what's up? Im sure someone will talk to you.

Ironically this thread is just as full of passive aggressive bullshit as Facebook.

Yeah, now that I know what's up, it's really not that big a deal to get the updates. When I initially posted this, the whole thing was still unfolding a bit and had this weird 1984 dystopian aura about it. Besides which, if this person and I wanted to have a more constructive relationship, we would. It will be weird when they die... Not sure how I will react when it actually happens, but we've been dead to each other for the better part of two decades. When it all unfolds, I hope to succeed in not making it out to be more than it is.

[char]

Yeah, now that I know what's up, it's really not that big a deal to get the updates. When I initially posted this, the whole thing was still ..........

Bummer.

I know that being on the other end of this, web communication can really cut down on repetitive non-updates for folks who want to know whats up. There were web sites dedicated to it 10 years ago, not sure if that is still the case.

[LeeC]

I despise facebook, but this is the way I would go if needed.

Create a fake profile and friend your fairly distant relative so that you can get the intel, then delete the account when they die.

Simple. If they choose that as the only means of communication and you give a nanofuck, then do the above.

Or not. No one is asking you to dive headfirst into the morass which is social networking.

[KQ]

I can't think of anything that would induce me to join FB.

[Tippster]

I actually enjoy FB. It's easy to add only the people you might possibly give a fuck about, unfriend people that turn out to be assholes, or limit the shit you post to only those eyeballs you approve of. You can easily control what shows up in your news feeds, and it's a fun way to stay in touch electronically with multiple people - friends and family alike - through one medium. Way fucking easier than having a telephone conversation with everyone.

[Viva]

Yogachick got me to join Facebook many years ago. So, I guess a pretty face and a nice rack is what it took for me.

FB is OK. But it can be intrusive. I was interviewing for a job opportunity in the NW yesterday and today, and the admin. mentioned that she had seen pix of my dog on Facebook. I'm like "WTF, bitch?" She then rambled on about how they needed to know what I looked like when picking me up from the airport. Later, someone else brought up stuff in my LinkedIn profile. I was OK with that, though.

[IVplay]

Yogachick got me to join Facebook many years ago. So, I guess a pretty face and a nice rack is what it took for me.

FB is OK. But it can be intrusive. I was interviewing for a job opportunity in the NW yesterday and today, and the admin. mentioned that she had seen pix of my dog on Facebook. I'm like "WTF, bitch?" She then rambled on about how they needed to know what I looked like when picking me up from the airport. Later, someone else brought up stuff in my LinkedIn profile. I was OK with that, though.

Nothing funnier than when old men try to flirt with a girl on a forum...

Anyways I think y'all need to have friends first to join fb

[Tippster]

Yogachick got me to join Facebook many years ago. So, I guess a pretty face and a nice rack is what it took for me.

FB is OK. But it can be intrusive. I was interviewing for a job opportunity in the NW yesterday and today, and the admin. mentioned that she had seen pix of my dog on Facebook. I'm like "WTF, bitch?" She then rambled on about how they needed to know what I looked like when picking me up from the airport. Later, someone else brought up stuff in my LinkedIn profile. I was OK with that, though.

Just set your FB to show pix to "Friends only." No more intrusion other than your name and profile pic.

[Viva]

Nothing funnier than when old men try to flirt with a girl on a forum...

Yoga's older than me and I had already known her for several years before this Facebook thingy.

Just set your FB to show pix to "Friends only." No more intrusion other than your name and profile pic.

They thought that my profile pic was me at the beach. It was taken at fuckin' Mammoth!