Panic/anxiety?

[zion zig zag]

I should probably start an alias for this, but fuck it. Last Saturday I broke my heel (calcaneus) by falling off of my roof 12 feet, onto concrete, directly on my left heel. It's shattered and the initial pain was unreal, bad enough that I spent a little over 24 hours in the hospital on massive doses of dilaudid. Since then I've scheduled surgery for this upcoming Thursday and I've been told that I will most likely be non weight bearing for 4-5 months. I've been on crutches several times before for other broken bones, knee surgeries, etc., but the longest previous time was maybe two months.

Last night I wake up at 330 and make my way to the bathroom, which seems like a long process in the dark. As soon as I lay back down I suddenly feel trapped. I can't walk, I feel like I can't escape if I needed to, total lack of control. I rummage around in the drawer and find a headlamp and crutch upstairs and outside. I sat outside in the cold on a damp chair in my underwear for probably a half hour while I poured sweat. I was fully aware of the fact that I was in no danger, I had rational thought and was aware that it was a panic attack, but I couldn't escape my own mind. I went back inside and watched TV while small waves of panic/anxiety wash over me for the next two hours. I had to occasionally stand up to breathe. I finally fell asleep at sunrise and slept for a few hours. I'm still unsettled this morning from the whole experience, worried about a repeat tonight.

I've been in many real life and death situations both for work and recreation and I've always been calm to the point of calculated. Total split-second decision maker with a steady hand. I really think the whole thing started from my perceived "loss of control." Maybe it's karma from all of the times I rolled out on panic attacks for other people at 3am and showed no sympathy, always thinking to myself that they should just get over it and go to sleep. I know the reality of it now, it's not that simple. I think the biggest fear that kept it up so long last night was the fear that this was my new normal, and I was going to be dealing with it forever.

If you've dealt with something similar and you aren't too embarrassed to share, I'd love to hear about it. Do I need exercise? More narcotics before bed?

[mcski]

I usually just piss in the bed

[liv2ski]

I was going to ask if you were doing some pain killers and that may be a side effect, as panic attacks are fairly rare. On the other hand, about 10 years ago my daughter asked me to drop her off at some guys home I really disliked for their weekend get away together. Immediately upon dropping her off I felt really weird (like on drugs weird) I was having a really hard time driving a my perception seemed out of wack and I was having chest pains. Thinking it may be a heart attack (my dad has had a few) I drove to the ER and was immediately admitted. After a few hours tests the doc told me I was experiencing a panic attack and WTF was going on for me to get so freaked out???
Once your situation changes, your panic attacks should be behind you. Me and my family laugh about mine now and my daughter feels bad I got so freaked out by her guy. Luckily he is long gone too. Hang in there.

[Beery]

I would say you were having a paranoia episode caused by ur pain killers. Everyone reacts different in pain meds. I want to get up and clean the house.

[AK47bp]

No narcotics. If you can get a vape pen with a heavy indica that would work maybe? Or a few puffs of indica.

[zion zig zag]

I would say you were having a paranoia episode caused by ur pain killers. Everyone reacts different in pain meds. I want to get up and clean the house.

I've really cut back on the narcotics over the last few days because I hate them; dizziness, nausea, etc. Consequently I was in some pain. I wonder if it was a withdrawal thing? Is this thread going to hurt my chances at running for public office?

[AK47bp]

I've really cut back on the narcotics over the last few days because I hate them; dizziness, nausea, etc. Consequently I was in some pain. I wonder if it was a withdrawal thing? Is this thread going to hurt my chances at running for public office?

That's withdrawal from opioids.

[iceman]

I've had a couple. Two that I can think of. Both times it was when the situation was out of my control and I thnk that was the problem. There's this thing called the "fight or flight response", which basically dumps a shitload of adrenaline into your system to help you fight the foe or run like a bastard to get away. When there's nothing to fight and nowhere to run all that adrenaline acts like a drug (well it is a drug) and it can freak you out.

Some people go through this all the time due to phobias of one kind or another but in my case (and I think probably yours) it was basically a response to a feeling of loss of control. I don't really know what you can do except consciously remind yourself it's a temporary thing with an actual cause and it will go away and then just ride it out as best you can. Booze may help.

[criscam]

It's prob due to the fact that you aren't going to be able to ride your new ride all summer.
But seriously, give me a call if you need anything. The mrs may have some insight for you as well.

[zion zig zag]

It's prob due to the fact that you aren't going to be able to ride your new ride all summer.

Noooo....

[gonzo_lives]

" the fear that this was my new normal, and I was going to be dealing with it forever. "
that fear is a big part of the problem
if you hyperventilate,breathe into a bag to avoid getting dizzy from low co2

btw,a bad calcaneous break is a nasty problem.your fear of that is justified

[The AD]

Is this thread going to hurt my chances at running for public office?

You kidding? The crazier the better!

[jgb@etree]

Just keep your head up and keep plugging away at the recovery. The road may seem endless, but you'll get there soon enough. These kinds of injuries really take the wind out out your sails. You feel useless because you can barely take care of yourself and it can be depressing. I was on crutches for a year with a shattered leg and was told I'd have all kinds of long term issues. I was in pain 24 hours a day and went thru what seemed like an endless string of surgeries (19 over 2 years). It took me 3 years to get back onto skis, and I can now generally do everything I used to do, which is cool. But yeah, there are some dark moments. I remember being told that I might loose my leg and having lots of irrational thoughts about the value of life down a leg. As your injuries improve and you can start taking care of yourself and normalizing life a bit, your outlook should improve. Get some xanax or something to have on hand just so you know you've got something to chill you out if you start bugging out, and that should help you be a bit less anxious. Getting stoned seemed to help take the edge off for me, but YMMV. G'luck.

[Bromontana]

You can use small doses (0.5-1.0mg) of Xanax to help relieve anxiety enough to sleep. Also there are some strains that are really good for anxiety fwiw.

[brice618]

I've been in the same situation but it hit me while rapping (ropes, not gangsta) the first time after I broke my ankle in a climbing fall. Not pleasant. Hasn't happened again though, and I have no clue what could be done to stop it other than avoiding certain activities. Good luck with the surgery and recovery.

[pfluffenmeister]

I recently had a self induced panic attack after reading about and viewing pictures of my upcoming ACL reconstruction.
Not nearly as serious as your heel, but seeing pics of the bone plugs on the prepared tendon graft really freaked me out.
I got really nauseous, super hot and sweaty.
Left the computer and went to sit at the kitchen table, which looked really cool and inviting.
The next thing I know I'm on my back on the floor, covered in sweat with a (small) head wound.
~ 3 minutes later I'm cold as fuck and shivering; have to wrap up under a blanket to get my temp under control.
I think that acknowledging to myself that I WAS getting cut, combined with low blood sugar caused the reaction.


My sister the RN says that I had a vaso-vagal attack.
yep: http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Vasovagal_response

[Aldo]

As the owner of a small business in my 5th year, I can sympathize. Ice and jgb are right on the money. Sure the more clinically educated contributors can shed more logical light on this but they both sum up the feelings I, they, you, we have had and will invariably be prone to when we are cornered and under the gun. About 2.5 years ago I ended up in er with hypertension, panic attacks, anxiety. 190/80. Not ideal. Thought I was about to die . Doc hooked me up to EKG machine. Now I'm no angel I've always had bad habits, never particularly took care of myself as I should have, so I'm fully expecting to be told I'm about to die , no circulation, massive blockages abound......

He looks at results, says hmmm everything looks really good, you've got great readings everywhere. I watched my 190/80 literally drop back to just borderline high BP..... Guess what he said, you're not gonna die...
I explained my situation to him, when I said " small business owner " he just stopped me there and gave me some really good advice.

I didn't die, life went on, and it just keeps getting better.

I imagine the same will happen to you, good luck with your recovery. Keep looking forward buddy.

[Ernest_Hemingway]

Division had told us the road to Toussus le Noble had been cleared. We passed some evidence of this; burned out tanks draped with dead Germans, village women handing us flowers as we passed by. They thanked us in English for liberating them. But we knew it was quite likely those same women could be handing flowers to their German liberators tomorrow. They also knew how to say "Danke!" They knew the game. No doubt they kept large supplies of flowers for such versatile purposes. The villagers, who had been highly reluctant to fire upon the Germans as they advanced, had no such qualms whatsoever when they were retreating.

Our P47s had been busy but there were still tanks and other light armor about, and Germans hiding in the wheat shocks with light machine guns. Once in awhile they would hop out, their guns making a dry sound like a rattlesnake rattle. Fortunately the main German force along the road was still in possession of an unfortunate tendency to fight fair and by the book. If they had decided to throw away the books and fight like Japs they could've moved quickly into my room at the Grand Hotel du Veneur and been enjoying the vast wine cellar after executing every dishwasher in the place.

About this time I acquired an anxious feeling every time I saw a wheat shock. Grand Marnier couldn't touch it. Or any of the stronger spirits. The closest most war correspondents come to harm is when they stumble and cut their hand on a wine glass in a hotel bar. They then spend decades embellishing the tale to any barmaid who they suspect might lift their skirt. And here I was on the road to Cheataufort, almost shitting my pants every time I saw a pile of wheat. I started setting them on fire, or ramming my jeep into them, or asking my driver to fire a few rounds into their midsection. Soon everyone thought I was insane, I was indifferent to the drone of Luftwaffe or the grunts of Panzers but crops filled me with dread.

Once we got out of the wheat-growing country, this anxiety went away. Soon we were in Paris and I was safely in the Ritz where I discovered a champagne basement the Germans had not uncovered. I gave wheat no more thought. And never thought about it again, really. Who ever thinks about wheat? Except once, years later, driving through Kansas on the way to hunt the good country in Wyoming. I drove past a field of harvested spring wheat and next thing I knew I was changing my underwear out behind a goddamn filling station.

You will be just fine, young man.

[boltonoutlaw]

I recently had a self induced panic attack after reading about and viewing pictures of my upcoming ACL reconstruction.
Not nearly as serious as your heel, but seeing pics of the bone plugs on the prepared tendon graft really freaked me out.
I got really nauseous, super hot and sweaty.
Left the computer and went to sit at the kitchen table, which looked really cool and inviting.
The next thing I know I'm on my back on the floor, covered in sweat with a (small) head wound.
~ 3 minutes later I'm cold as fuck and shivering; have to wrap up under a blanket to get my temp under control.
I think that acknowledging to myself that I WAS getting cut, combined with low blood sugar caused the reaction.


My sister the RN says that I had a vaso-vagal attack.
yep: http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Vasovagal_response

That is exactly what that was. Learn what your triggers are, and seek to avoid them

[::: :::]

The dd's can be tricky to negotiate.

DD 's are fun
DT's, on the other hand...

[AK47bp]

The dd's can be tricky to negotiate.

A balloon of nitrous really helps numb the brain too, calms the zaps. Whip it. Whip it good.

[splat]

I tried hard to conceal my anxiety as the moment of truth approached, but there it was, staring me in the face:
The test for eight grade math proficiency.
https://nces.ed.gov/TIMSS/pdf/TIMSS2011_G8_Math.pdf

[ill-advised strategy]

I didn't read the whole thread in detail but my strong suspicion is this is related to your coming off opioids.

Pain + withdrawal + subconscious anxiety about your injury and its implications could manifest like that.

I'm sorry you're dealing with this....my personal advice (from experience) would be to be careful about weight gain while you're down and get off all opiates 100% as quickly as you can tolerate.

edit: read the whole thread. Standing by my guess.

This is your time to read great books (old textbooks are cheap!), watch entire TV series', write letters to old friends. I don't believe in God, but---you know---God (my God is "nature"....or "the universe") sends you these times so you can get something important done, internally or externally or both. Your challenge is to figure out what that is and make it happen.

[DasBlunt]

Hope you went/go to the hospital.....those types of fevers/hallucinations could signal other problems.

edit, or like others said, opiate withdraws....

[skifishbum]

bout 8 or 9 days into trim camps my bro had one of these and i got to spend the night wanderin round the woods of grass valley assuring him it was a long week of product samplin hash brownies habenjaro nachos and knives after midnight attack and panicin wasn't helpin
ocassionally i get impending sense of doom episodes
but potential demise aint worth panic or too much aingxstities
jer says they dont work but
positive hippies healin vibes sent