Your Funeral?

[capulin overdrive]

Anybody got their wishes figured out?


Working on this kind of stuff with a lawyer, and never really thought about a funeral. Part of the family is in a really cool cemetery, but most and a family plot is in a crappy cemetery in a crappy town.

Used to think cremation was weird, but more I think about it allows for a way cooler funeral, and no weirder than being turned into a mummy.


So what you got?

Spread your ashes on your favorite line? Have your friends snort you off a hookers ass while skiing your favorite line?

About all I got for wishes that's legal, is no church, and no preachers. Like the spread the ashes somewhere thing, but don't really got a somewhere figured out.

[Viva]

Send your ashes to me. I'm starting a cat liter brand and need to build up inventory.

[Benny Profane]

Friend of mine says, just sell his body to a necrophiliac, he could give a fuck. I think I get it.

[Tippster]

I wanna fertilize some trees in LCC. The wife wants to feed some fish in the ocean, like my dad is and mom will be sometime soon. I see absolutely no reason to pay for a burial plot.

[The Suit]

I've told my wife I want to be cremated and flushed down the toilet, but I don't think she'll do it.

[Meadow Skipper]

I got a peak in the local mountains picked out for the ash scatter in case someone asks, but I really don't much care. Whatever makes anyone that cares happy is cool with me.

[Ggreenie]

A friend has told his kids to have him cremated - and tip the ashes into the Aircon vents in his ex wife's car!!

[splat]

Something like this would be OK....not that I care, but I figure my friends would enjoy a location like that.

[mall walker]

Scatter my ashes on my favorite line / peak for sure. Just haven't decided which yet. My old man wants the same thing, fwiw, an old east coast guy he wants em split between Marcy and Tucks.

[Flyoverland Captive]

Feed me to the lions at the nearest zoo.

[capulin overdrive]

Something like this would be OK....not that I care, but I figure my friends would enjoy a location like that.

Something like that would be the ticket, but probably not so legal.

Wood chipper was an idea.

[Sirshredalot]

I'm having all my assets placed in a trust and no distributions from the trust may be made without my pickled corpse present to oversea the proceedings.

This tribute to Bentham would be more effective if I had assets beyond an under-funded IRA, a pair of Igneous FGS drilled 2.5 times, and an AT rig featuring the Fritschis with the self-destructing toepiece.

[gravitylover]

I figure I won't be here so it won't matter to me but it might matter to the ones that are still here. Hopefully they make a decision that doesn't cost too much because I certainly won't be able to appreciate something like a cushy box.

[jm2e]

Technically, a shipping container is likely to be cheaper than a coffin.

[whipski]

My will asks that half my ashes be dumped on a certain beach in Westwater Canyon by any friends who care to hoist a beer and pissem into the river. The other half would liked dumped into Cassidy's Waterfall run at Snowmass. Preferably in a paper bag with a 5 pounder on an epic snow day by patrol. That run is Always good for untracked.

[Lone Star]

I've really only thought as far as the music selection....

[riser4]

I don’t want a pickle
I just want to ride on my motor-cicle
And I don’t want a tickle
I’d rather ride on my motor-cicle
And I don’t want to die
I just want to ride on my motor-cy-cle

You know it’s been about 12 years now, that I’ve been singin’ this dumb song
You know it’s amazin’, it’s amazin’ that somebody can get away with singin’ a song this dumb for that long

But you know, hey you know what’s more amazin’ than that is that , uh somebody can make a livin’ singin’ a song this dumb

But that’s America.
You know I told everything there was to tell about it
When I wrote it, how come, why, what for
But you know the one thing, that I always used to neglect to explain, was the significance of the pickle

There was a time I was ridin’ my bike
I was going down a mountain road
I was doin’ 150 miles an hour
On one side of the mountain road there was a mountain
And on the other side, there was nothin’
There was just a cliff in the air
But I wasn’t payin’ attention you know
I was just driving down the road

All of a sudden by accident
A string broke off my guitar
It broke you know right there
Went flying across the road that way
Wrapped itself around a yield sign
Well the sign didn’t break
It didn’t come out the ground
And the string stayed wrapped around it
Stayed in the other end of my guitar
Held onto my guitar with one hand
I held onto the bike with the other

I made a sharp turn off the road
Luckily I didn’t go into the mountain
I went over the cliff
I was doin’ 150 miles an hour sideways
And 500 feet down at the same time
Hey, I was lookin’ for the cops
Cuz’ you know
Hey I knew that it, it was illegal

Well, I knew that that was it
I knew I didn’t have long to live in this world
And in my last remaining seconds in the world
I knew it was my obligation to write one last farewell song to the world

Took out a piece of paper
I pulled out a pen
And it didn’t write
I, I had to put another ink cartridge in it
I sat back and I thought a while
And it come to me
It come like a flash
Like a vision burnt across the clouds

I just wrote it down
I learnt it right away

I don’t want a pickle
Just want to ride on my motor-cicle
And I don’t want a tickle
I’d rather ride on my motor-cicle
And I don’t want to die
I just want to ride on my motor-cy-cle

Hey, I, you know
I knew it wasn’t the best song I ever wrote
But I didn’t have time to change it

But you know the most amazin’ thing was that I didn’t die
I landed on the top of a police car….and it died

I come into town, I come into town at a screamin’ 175 miles an hour
Singing my new motorcycle song
I stopped out front of the deli
And out in front of the deli was a man eating the most tremendous pickle
A pickle the size of four pregnant watermelons
Just a huge monster pickle

He walked up to me, pushed the pickle in my face and started asking me questions
It was about the same time I noticed the pickle in my face
I noticed a cord hangin’ from the long end of the pickle
Goin’ up his sleeve down his shirt, into his pants and shoes
Out into a briefcase he had near his feet

I knew it wasn’t an ordinary pickle
But it was about the same time I noticed the cord hangin’ out of the pickle
That a four foot cop arrived with a five foot gun
A cop that one time musta been around six foot three
But was met at the bottom of a mountain
By a flyin’, singin’ writin’ weirdo freak

He walked up and with one tremendous hand
He grabbed the pickle away from the other guy
He threw it, a hundred feet, straight up in the air
And while the pickle was half way between going up and coming down
He took out his gun and put a three inch bullet hole
Right through the long end of the pickle
It started comin’ back down
He stuck out his foot
He caught the pickle on his big toe
And balancing the pickle on his big toe
He reached his huge hand into his little pocket
Pulled out a 10 foot ticket
He borrowed my pen
He wrote it up
Then he rolled it up
And stuffed it in the bullet hole in the middle of the pickle
Took the pickle with the ticket
And shoved it down my throat

It was at that very moment that the pickle with the ticket was goin’ down my throat
That I knew for sure that, that I didn’t want a pickle

I don’t want a pickle
Just want to ride on my motor-cicle
And I don’t want a tickle
I’d rather ride on my motor-cicle
And I don’t want to die
Just want to ride on my motor-cy-cle

[SB]

The other half would liked dumped into Cassidy's Waterfall run at Snowmass. Preferably in a paper bag with a 5 pounder on an epic snow day by patrol. That run is Always good for untracked.

FTW

[Peruvian]

My buddy says, "fuck 'em all but six". I think he's optimistic about his weight in a coffin.

[GeezerSteve]

My will calls for cremation, although I'd rather have my body desiccate on a high dry alpine plateau

[papapoopski]

My grandmother died last month. She went quick and peacefully as far as I can tell.

10 years ago she wrote out instructions for our family to follow when she died. She had put money aside for a limo, dinner and dancing in NYC for about 40 people. Aunts, uncles, cousins, siblings etc flew in from all over the country to go to the funeral. And then we partied like it was the end of the world - as per grandmas instructions. At the top of her note she wrote "I don't want anyone to be sad at my funeral" and her instructions to go out and party came after that. She was an awesome lady.

My wife and I have agreed that we both want to be cremated. Our hope is that our family will go to cool places that they feel appropriate to spread some ashes. Wherever, as long as they enjoy the trip. I don't want my stupid meat sack taking up any more space when I'm gone. I would like to have something grow from my ashes.

Ideally I would like my family to shoot me up full of arrows and then set me on fire, use the coals from the fire to roast a pig and have a keg party. I don't think my wife and daughters will go for that. My brothers would.

[iceman]

My will calls for cremation, although I'd rather have my body desiccate on a high dry alpine plateau

Well start walking.

When all you fuckers are dead me and Keef will be sitting around playing cards telling stories.

[Millsie]

My wife wants a Viking funereal. Put her corpse in a boat, send it out on the lake with some gas or something. Then take turns shooting flaming arrows until the whole thing is on fire.

[stuckathuntermtn]

Stuff me in a box or an oven and take care of my dog.
Don't forget to pour 1 out for the homies who aren't with us. G.

[irul&ublo]

Anybody got their wishes figured out?


Working on this kind of stuff with a lawyer, and never really thought about a funeral. Part of the family is in a really cool cemetery, but most and a family plot is in a crappy cemetery in a crappy town.

Used to think cremation was weird, but more I think about it allows for a way cooler funeral, and no weirder than being turned into a mummy.


So what you got?

Spread your ashes on your favorite line? Have your friends snort you off a hookers ass while skiing your favorite line?

About all I got for wishes that's legal, is no church, and no preachers. Like the spread the ashes somewhere thing, but don't really got a somewhere figured out.

Hpw about lunch?