Winnie the Pooh Exposes Himself in Public

KQ · 11-21-2014, 01:53 PM

Polish town rejects Winnie the Pooh for being 'hermaphrodite'

BREAKING: Winnie the Pooh is a hermaphrodite, exposes himself in public and has no business being around children — at least according to a Polish town council.

Officials in the Polish town of Tuszyn (87 miles southwest of Warsaw) were deciding on a mascot for the town playground, when the classic children's character was suggested as a candidate. They decided to rule Winnie out, because he's an "inappropriately dressed" bear of "dubious sexuality."

Sure, Winnie is a honey junkie who spends most of his time with a chronically depressed donkey and a suspiciously energetic tiger, and if you don't want your kids hanging with that sort of crew, then fine. But if you don't want Winnie at playgrounds because he doesn't wear pants and has no external genitalia, you're living in the past, my friend.

According to the Croatian Times, members of the Tuszyn town council were having this totally reasonable conversation about Winnie's biological sex and choice of outerwear when one of them decided it was worth recording and leaking to media. We all owe this person a debt of gratitude. Because now we know the following things about the members of the Tuszyn town council.

Resident and councilor Ryszard Cichy apparently believes this about Winnie: "The problem with that bear is it doesn't have a complete wardrobe. It is half naked which is wholly inappropriate for children."

An unnamed official apparently knows why: "It doesn't wear underpants because it doesn't have a sex. It's a hermaphrodite."

And another resident, councilor, and human who lives on this Earth, Hanna Jachimska, apparently blames Winnie's creator, Alan Alexander Milne: "This is very disturbing but can you imagine! The author was over 60 and cut his (Pooh's) testicles off with a razor blade because he had a problem with his identity."

We also learned that some members of the Tuszyn town council are biased against intersex individuals. So there's that.

Winnie's out of the running for playground mascot, but as the councilors move forward with the decision-making process, they should consider that their no-pants rule excludes nearly every cartoon character ever invented, except for Goofy, who rocks an orange turtleneck sweater, charcoal vest, blue slacks and laceless brown shoes. Classy.

**iceman** · 11-21-2014, 01:56 PM

Bill Cosby, Winnie the pooh, who's next, Santa?

**PassTheDutchie** · 11-21-2014, 01:56 PM

Originally Posted by iceman

Bill Cosby, Winnie the pooh, who's next, Santa?

Can't spell Santa without Satan.

KQ · 11-21-2014, 01:58 PM

Originally Posted by PassTheDutchie

Can't spell Santa without Satan.

**jma233** · 11-21-2014, 02:04 PM

Originally Posted by iceman

Bill Cosby, Winnie the pooh, who's next, Santa?

He sure raises a lot of suspicion by his obsession with all those flamboyantly dressed midgets he claims to employ. I won't even mention the rumors about him and his 'trained' reindeer.

KQ · 11-21-2014, 02:11 PM

Originally Posted by jma233

He sure raises a lot of suspicion by his obsession with all those flamboyantly dressed midgets he claims to employ. I won't even mention the rumors about him and his 'trained' reindeer.

Could be worse - they're having a heck of a time in the Netherlands with their version of Santa and his helper "Black Pete" (David Sadaris does a great bit on this: David Sadaris reads 6 To 8 Black Men

'Black Pete' controversy stirs up Netherlands

(CNN) -- The Dutch version of festive St. Nicholas is once again landing on the naughty list for some in the Netherlands, who say his Black Pete sidekick is a racist throwback to the colonial era.

Protesters gathered Sunday at Amsterdam's festival honoring St. Nicholas -- or Sinterklaas as he is known in Dutch -- a day after 90 people were arrested in demonstrations surrounding his ceremonial arrival in country at the Dutch city of Gouda.
They carried signs reading, "Black Pete is racism."

Only one person was arrested in Sunday's event, according to CNN affiliate RTL and Dutch national broadcaster NOS.

In the Netherlands, Sinterklaas is accompanied by a dark-skinned figure, often played by whites in black face who wear curly afro-style wigs and red lip coloring.

The character sometimes visits private home and hands out candy to children but also is reputed to take away the naughty ones.
The tradition has grown increasingly contentious in recent years, with the United Nations arguing last year in favor of a national dialogue on the practice.

Experts working under the auspices of the Office of the High Commissioner for Humam Rights last year said people of African descent found the character's depiction "rooted in unacceptable, colonial attitudes that they find racist and offensive."

The Dutch government replied that it was aware that the practice was offensive to some, and that it had received dozens of complaints a year concerning Black Pete since 2011.

Last week, a high-level Dutch court declined to rule on the controversy.