english boiled dinner

[creaky fossil]

Unfortunately with dipshits like stuckinsidemyonlineidentity dominating this forum with wish I'd done that/knew that but I'll tell you all about doing it/knowing it anyway, since I've memorized what someone else said about it bullshit, the content now resembles English cooking: boiled to blandness. In other words, it's like watching a Clay Porter movie where you're supposed to be seeing bike riding, but instead you are seeing how unhidden is Clay Porter's homosexual lust and how strongly it overrides his inclination to film actual bicycle riding for longer than 1 second at a time. Love comes in spurts, said Richard Hell, and nobody proves it better than Clay or stuckie.

I have a suggestion. We need to get more self-impressed Badass Insiders with Wicked 8th Grade Comedy Chops to post at TGR Sprocket Rockets.

I would like to nominate these Fantastic Internet Personalities:

(A) from ridemonkey: jonKranked, dante, Pesqueeb

(B) from pinkbike: Deeeight, herzalot, and especially WAKIdesigns, who blatantly ripped off several of my satires and presented them as his own.

Please feel free to add to this list, but I'm pretty insistent about jonKranked, who has to be the smuggest and unfunniest asshole this side of rideit.

[grabtindy]

12345678

[donkeykong]

what meds are you on?

[butterscotch]

holy shit dude. let it go.

[systemoverblow'd]

what meds are you on?

The problem is he is off them. And I would guess Lithium.

[creaky fossil]

The problem is he is off them. And I would guess Lithium.

WebMD has spoken! He can Dx anyone through an internet forum!

Thanks to the other 2 of you who continue to wrestle with reality and fantasy and end up pinning yourselves to the mat each time. Were you pinned by reality? Or by fantasy? You'll never know, you know only that the match was rigged and whoever saw you getting pinned was CRAY-ZEE INSANE, bro. And "off their meds."

Meanwhile we don't ask how much insanity one has to labor under to imagine accurate Dx via the internet.

[TBS]

Poor Creaky - gotta be tough to pass on wisdom when Everyone Else is a deluded fool or industry whore.

How 'bout another story about the Montana Creaky knew when he moved there from the east coast, before it was overrun by outsiders.

[PNWbrit]

Mmmmmmmm. Home cooking.

[Vt-Freeheel]

Yuck

[MakersTeleMark]

Ryan:

Can we merge this into the crockpot thread because I's be gettin' hungry.

Or a whole new forum with sticky.

[Hugh Conway]

Poor Creaky - gotta be tough to pass on wisdom when Everyone Else is a deluded fool or industry whore.

well, there's some geriatrics too.

[iscariot]

(A) from ridemonkey: jonKranked, dante, Pesqueeb

(B) from pinkbike: Deeeight, herzalot, and especially WAKIdesigns, who blatantly ripped off several of my satires and presented them as his own.


... jonKranked...

So you're pissed off at people you can name from a bunch of different forums...

There are several problems, and none of them are other people.

Don't want to experience this shit? Don't post on a bunch of different forums.

Don't want to experience this shit? Don't spend so much time on forums.

Don't want to experience this shit? Don't interact with people you hate.

Don't want to experience this shit? Go ride your bike.



You can solve all of the problems you incorrectly associate with other people.

[Hugh Conway]

iscariot breaks out the "go be the unabomber" trump card. strong work.

[skifishbum]

ifin the cunt creaks
oil it

[creaky fossil]

Poor Creaky - gotta be tough to pass on wisdom when Everyone Else is a deluded fool or industry whore.

How 'bout another story about the Montana Creaky knew when he moved there from the east coast, before it was overrun by outsiders.

I see you are trying for the faux-empathetic, "in your corner, bro -- sorta" approach, but still appealing to a psychodrama you conjured for me. Your focus on new transplants suggests what you are yourself wrestling with every day more than it suggests what are my supposed...uh...issues. I wonder where on your e-corpus we should attach the spool of film, and where is the takeup reel.

Do you want to make this thread about when you moved to a mountain place from your spot as Dominator of Trash Mtn, IA? How you told all the bros about your Explosivs being too little and too wimpy a ski for Trash Mtn, for a man of your obvious calibre?

***************

iscariot: please define this "hate" you see everywhere, and give us the symptoms suggesting it, as well as the different optional diagnoses you eliminated and how you did that. Remind us why you are the funny man here who isn't "hating," please. Obviously a name like Judas __________ suggests you're the prosecutor of existential crimes, and I expect a well-argued brief from you.

iscariot breaks out the "go be the unabomber" trump card. strong work.

yeah, but like stuckinsindemyonlineidentity, he's a badass on TGR. 3 or 4 people really find his schtick hilariously hilarious, in a gay snarky sorta way that Larry Craig enjoys when he's in an airport bathroom.

***************

vt-freeheel, I just heard from rontele and he's going to burn a Star of David on your lawn for that anti-semitic photo and caption. How dare you impugn the vital essence of Jewish penicillin? Two hundred new Palestinians die tonight thanks to you and rontele's strong connection to the noble forces of IDF.

***************

you guys are terrible hecklers, the comedy equivalents of TSA patdown crew molesters-for-pay.

[TBS]

Creaky, You fail at Internet Dx. But seriously, tell us what it was like in MT before all the east coast poseurs showed up. And why you can't quit Stuckie...

[creaky fossil]

What, the made-up-out-of-nowhere BS "diagnosis" I wrote for you was incorrect? How did that happen?

But seriously, tell us what it was like in MT before all the east coast poseurs showed up.

It would be extra-keen, nifty even, if you could quote me just once talking about "life in MT" before the "E C poseurs" arrived.

Apparently, establishing a "fact" by accusing me of something I never said, that's somehow essential to your Dx of me. Gee Mrs Cleaver, your dress looks quite flattering, said Eddie Haskell with no sincerity whatever.

My Rx for you: I suggest trying thirty more thumps on the equine corpse, using that soggy lasagne noodle you're torturing with all the swings and swipes it's seen to date.

And why you can't quit Stuckie...

Using your expert predictions of sexual preference (based on criteria which include intentionally misreading a comment and projecting your own issues), you love me to the ends of the earth and I should be wearing a kevlar/titanium ass-chastity belt to protect me from your gayrape intentions.

[stuckathuntermtn]

Creaky, You fail at Internet Dx. But seriously, tell us what it was like in MT before all the east coast poseurs showed up. And why you can't quit Stuckie...

He has such a hardon for me. He knows where I live and can come be an adult and talk about it face to face over a beer like real grownups do, but he won't. He'll hid behind his keyboard and spew shit about how he really gets me and people like me and how much better this place was before people like me showed up. I'm guessing they started showing up in the same wave he did, but that's just a wild guess. He obviously hates Missoula. I never see him downtown, rode with him once and have never seen him on the trails since, and never saw him at Snowbowl. Then again, during the ski season, he's too busy babysitting the kids of parents he hates for us to really wind up on the same runs.
Also, if he really is an instructor at the Bowl, that tells you everything you need to know about how that place is run.
Keep stroking your e-boner for me creaky, I'm gonna go back to ignoring you while your hate turns into a bucket of prostate cancer.

[stuckathuntermtn]

Release your anger. Feel the power of the Dark Side.
Something something something complete.

[creaky fossil]

when I met stuckinsidemyonlineidentity in person, he was a picture of anger, frustration, naivete, and twitchy like a meth smoker.

naturally he needs to be otherwise on the internet, and pretend I'm the one suffering problems. who got a seatpost for a sixer here? who pretends to be a genius expert multisport athlete savant, while not being one?

what do you want to talk about "face-to-face," besides your jittery gay lust toward me, closet-boy? you had plenty of opportunity to talk to me in person when I was fixing the problem that wasn't a problem yet you still couldn't solve, and listening to you ramble about theories of bike mechanicals, which theories showed you inept and moronic. what did you want to talk about? I was giving you a seatpost for almost nothing, fixing your non-existent problem, and assessing who is this assclown who acts the genius uber-athlete on TGR.

[TBS]

My Rx for you: I suggest trying thirty more thumps on the equine corpse, using that soggy lasagne noodle you're torturing with all the swings and swipes it's seen to date.

The ironingz is strong in you Creaky. But please continue.

[creaky fossil]

I know you are but what am I? I'm rubber, you're glue, everything you say bounces off me and sticks to you. Yes, I graduated from Hotchkiss and Dartmouth. That explains my comic chops, right? You've read Jon Schwarz? The guy that says "irony" is being guilty of nothing while pretending to hate those who are guilty? Yes. That's just like me. Trying for absurdist pseudo-irony, achieving mere juvenilia. (8th grader emoticon FTW!)

You need an editor, right?

PS: You'll need to read dipshit Schwarz to get the joke.

[TBS]

Oh, we all get the joke...

[creaky fossil]

I see you dusted off the old classics for that one. What's next? A whoopee cushion and some rubber dog shit?

[bobbuilds]

Release your anger. Feel the power of the Dark Side.
Something something something complete.

It sounds like you are dealing with a Christian here, good luck with that.