Home Selling Clusterfuck

[TBS]

Ms TBS and I are selling our house. Buyer is a single female - her first house. Both agents are females. I am the only person in this transaction who has a clue about how to build a house.

I
Am
In
Fucking
Hell

From my experience, the real estate game is a racket. Real estate agents have zero incentive to get sellers the best price possible. They make money by garnering listings and turning them as fast as possible. And they will sell you down the river just to keep the deal alive.

Inspectors then bring up Every.Little.Fucking.Thing. with no effort to distinguish between shit that's important and shit that's trivial. Title Companies charge you all kinds of money for what is essentially a quick internet search and a neutral place to hold/disburse money. And there is no accountability when these "professionals" fuck up.

First Time Buyer + Overzealous Inspector + Realtor Incentive Structure = Clusterfuck

We accepted an offer 9/15 with close on 10/18. Inspection came back 9/26. Inspector doesn't understand that when you put an "s" behind words such as window, door, or flashing it means "more than one". So his report recommends for example, "all kickout flashings be repaired to prevent water damage" when there is only one kickout flashing on the entire fucking house. There are five other examples of this same type of shit in the report.

Buyer and her agent then overlaid the inspection fuckups with their own ignorance about home building to prepare a repair addendum that is total gibberish. Doesn't stop them from wanting said list of gibberish completed by a licensed contractor to their satisfaction by 10/4 so there can be another inspection before the 10/18 closing.

I told our agent there was NFW we can get repair this stuff in 9 days - especially with all the gibberish. My solution - we each get a bid for the work, deduct the average of the bids from the selling price and buyer can get the work done at her leisure.

Our agent sez we can't ask them to do that - buyer's agent told her we need to agree to do their list of gibberish or they will walk.



I told her that no licensed contractor in the world can for example "repair window siding per inspection report" because the report doesn't mention window siding - probably because no such fucking thing exists. Her only answer - "we have to agree to do this or they will walk".

I said, OK fine - I'm not gonna sign up to perform a horribly defined scope of work with no objective measure of completion. If they want to be irrational and walk over this, we are doomed anyway, so let's end the agony and let em walk.

My wife started crying, told me I'm an obstinate asshole and I'm going to kill the sale.

My agent then proposed a Brilliant Solution - just agree to do everything they listed, gibberish or not. Then, just before the deadline for repairs, we tell buyer that we can't get the work done in time, and we should just get bids and deduct the average amount of the repairs from the price.

I asked how this was different from what I proposed yesterday - except I left out all the subterfuge, and my proposal didn't give them an option to walk when we didn't perform in time. She said "hmmm, let me look at what you sent me...hmmm...Oh, OK. I think we should propose that if the repairs aren't done by next week, we will deduct the average of two bids from the price".

I stifled an incredible urge to stab her in the eyeball with an icepick...
[/rant]

Make me feel like I'm not alone - Post up your own home buying/selling nightmares.

[wooley12]

Sold our house last year. 2nd year on the market. Sold to a couple that made a crazy low ball offer (our only) the first year. Paid asking price. Cash. With no formal inspection. I worked to control the agent. I made sure to meet any hot prospect. Agent hated that. Sounds like you have a good handle on things. Any and all wife issues are out of your (and her) control so focus.

[Benny Profane]

I just offered the asking price for a condo that somebody let me walk through TWICE, because I thought the price was more than fair, considering the condition, and then was told it wasn't for sale (never actually met the seller). It's still listed on Zillow and Trulia at the same price. WTF?

[pepperdawg]

VIbes TBS..vibes

[Foggy_Goggles]

I'm a home inspector. I lot of seller's realtors hate me. The whole home buying process is backwards. The inspection should come before the accepted offer but it doesn't. IMO, the buyer makes an offer based upon an assumed condition of the home. The assumed condition can be correct or incorrect.

Often times (last week), the buyer's realtor (with generally zero knowledge of home construction) is deluding the buyer. For example: realtor "that's just a crack in the drywall, should be about $50 to fix". Home inspector "The foundation of this house is failing hence the cracked drywall, suggest evaluation from licences structural engineer".

My suggestion, you got to make it about the cash. First time buyers are the worst. Generally, the get emotionally attached to the property. It is as if the home inspection is there first insight into the the fact that homes are not perfectly constructed, require maintenance and repairs, and this....costs money. This lesson is of course at the seller's expense.

Having seller's pay for repairs to meet the standard's of the buyer is retarded. Seller's want cheap, buyers want perfect = no win situation. Can you offer cash at closing? I big problem for first time buyers is that they are putting all there savings into the down. They gots no money to make the repairs even if it is deducted off the contract price.

Remember, a house is offered for sale in "as is" condition. You have no obligation to fix anything. The inspection is for the purposes of letting the buyer fine tune their offer based on the findings. Make them do the leg work to get from inspection findings>new offer.

[stevesmith7]

A couple of years ago I went through a similar experience. After six or more different inspections all finding stupid stuff each accompanied by equally stupid requests to repair I took the buyer's agent aside and told him that was it. I would raise the price by double the cost of every request going forward. We closed in a week. And these supper picky buyers never bothered to turn the irrigation system on the next summer and killed $40k worth of landscaping.

Once an offer is made your agent becomes your adversary and their agent is the only one left who will work for you if you make him. They all get paid by you. Never let them forget that.

[keipow]

your primary issue should be to drill sense into your wife.

[Cruiser]

We had a similar issue last year when we sold our house. First buyers (young entitled first time just married couple) walked when we denied a couple of inspection items. So we relisted it and sold it to another couple who hired a friend as their inspector. This guy was a complete fucking clown. He wrote all sorts of crazy shit into the report, which he did short hand on notebook paper. We fixed one minor structural item and told them we'd walk before doing anything else. They were glad to accept.

Long story short, it sounds like you have the wrong buyer. If your house is desirable and well priced then other people will want to buy it when this deal falls. Damn the chicken heads.

Sent from my Nexus 7 using TGR Forums

[Moeghoul]

I'm a home inspector. I lot of seller's realtors hate me. The whole home buying process is backwards. The inspection should come before the accepted offer but it doesn't. IMO, the buyer makes an offer based upon an assumed condition of the home. The assumed condition can be correct or incorrect.

Often times (last week), the buyer's realtor (with generally zero knowledge of home construction) is deluding the buyer. For example: realtor "that's just a crack in the drywall, should be about $50 to fix". Home inspector "The foundation of this house is failing hence the cracked drywall, suggest evaluation from licences structural engineer".

My suggestion, you got to make it about the cash. First time buyers are the worst. Generally, the get emotionally attached to the property. It is as if the home inspection is there first insight into the the fact that homes are not perfectly constructed, require maintenance and repairs, and this....costs money. This lesson is of course at the seller's expense.

Having seller's pay for repairs to meet the standard's of the buyer is retarded. Seller's want cheap, buyers want perfect = no win situation. Can you offer cash at closing? I big problem for first time buyers is that they are putting all there savings into the down. They gots no money to make the repairs even if it is deducted off the contract price.

Remember, a house is offered for sale in "as is" condition. You have no obligation to fix anything. The inspection is for the purposes of letting the buyer fine tune their offer based on the findings. Make them do the leg work to get from inspection findings>new offer.

All good points, especially the "as is" condition. Unless it is new construction, it's used, and some buyers are polluted by Home shows on TV with wildly unrealistic expectations when they walk through a house or what they will get for their money.

Oh, and fuck getting bids, you should have some ballpark idea what reasonable repair costs are and how much you are willing to take off from the agreed price. If they want to send their estimate guy around to create some huge bid in hopes of knocking the price down, it shouldn't change the amount you'd be willing to to take off the price. Alternatively, a 1st time buyer is a PITA so unless she is the only buyer, get the house back on the market. Bottom line, don't hesitate to put the foot down and say no if your circumstances can afford you the time to keep the house on the market a while longer.

[Name Redacted]

If you are desperate to sell, follow your agent's advice. Otherwise, you need to remind her who she is working for. If the buyers are gonna walk over inspection objections that can be resolved monetarily, and to their advantage, then fuck them. They will save much more money, and might not even have to do some of the work that the dumb ass inspector listed.

[MagnificentUnicorn]

In 2003 I sold my home in the Bay Area. We got the inspection before our realtor listed the house and had any repairs(mostly termite damage) completed before listing as well. We got an offer for asking price on the first day it listed and walked away with 225k after paying all fees, commission and mortgage balance. Our realtor said she could have got us another 20-25k if we didn't have to sell in a hurry for my new job out of state. Sounds like you have the wrong realtor.

[Name Redacted]

In 2003 I sold my home in the Bay Area. We got the inspection before our realtor listed the house and had any repairs(mostly termite damage) completed before listing as well. We got an offer for asking price on the first day it listed and walked away with 225k after paying all fees, commission and mortgage balance. Our realtor said she could have got us another 20-25k if we didn't have to sell in a hurry for my new job out of state. Sounds like you have the wrong realtor.

I think that the market in the Bay area, a decade ago, is a little different than the real estate climate anywhere these days. Just sayin. But hey, glad that worked out for you.

[Meadow Skipper]

your primary issue should be to drill sense into your wife.

This is going to be the hard part, but probably pretty critical.

Luck.

[liv2ski]

I'm a home inspector. I lot of seller's realtors hate me. The whole home buying process is backwards. The inspection should come before the accepted offer but it doesn't. IMO, the buyer makes an offer based upon an assumed condition of the home. The assumed condition can be correct or incorrect.

Remember, a house is offered for sale in "as is" condition. You have no obligation to fix anything. The inspection is for the purposes of letting the buyer fine tune their offer based on the findings. Make them do the leg work to get from inspection findings>new offer.

I have always had the inspection done once I have fixed the house up, presale. Whatever else the inspector finds, I fix if important. I then offer the inspection to the buyers before they write an offer, letting them know what I have and will not fix. Has worked to avoid the OPs clusterfuck. OP, obviously you have 2 choices. Tell them to pound sand or do the repairs. Market strength will determine that decision.

[IVplay]

Funny-- because here in Canada the home inspection is quite lax.

[Hugh Conway]

I think that the market in the Bay area, a decade ago, is a little different than the real estate climate anywhere these days. Just sayin. But hey, glad that worked out for you.

You mean the market then was softer?

[Name Redacted]

You mean the market then was softer?

I mean that comparing the market of the bay area in 2003 to the current market in Pdx (assumingly) just might not be a close comparison. But hey, I'm sure Hugh can Google up some info that'll prove me wrong.

[Beaver]

Funny-- because here in Canada the home inspection is quite lax.

No, its a fucking joke.

I sold a house near Hazeton B.C. (an area with no building inspector so some sketchy shit is built). As I was installing the siding the buyers came by with their agent and looked at the house. I chatted with them and told them all the shit I knew about the house and said that is why it was listed at the price it was. They paid for an inspection then came and talked to me, the inspector missed half of the shit I told them about and came up with one small item I didn't. They cursed the inspector for being useless and offered me $2000 less than asking right on the spot but only if we could get the agent to cut her commission. The agent was both sellers and buyers agent. The agent was pissed but agreed to cut her commission in half and I lived happily ever after. The buyer, not so much. 2 months later Skeena Cellulose closed 4 mills in the area and within a year the buyer declared bankruptcy.

[topwater]

we just sold a house in washington state and the thing that almost gummed up the works was the appraisal. fucking bank sent an appraisor from three hours away, they spent less than 10 minutes in the house, and came in with a super-low appraisal. a local appraiser was hired and came in close to the selling price.

make sure that the appraisal is done from a local appraisor. it will make a difference and reduce the angst at the end of the process.

[liv2ski]

we just sold a house in washington state and the thing that almost gummed up the works was the appraisal. fucking bank sent an appraisor from three hours away, they spent less than 10 minutes in the house, and came in with a super-low appraisal. a local appraiser was hired and came in close to the selling price.

make sure that the appraisal is done from a local appraisor. it will make a difference and reduce the angst at the end of the process.

As part of finance reform, NOBODY can have any say who does the appraisal. They are assigned at random by an Appraisal Mgmnt Co that the lender has selected and they answer to no one. Thanks Frank Dodd

[~mikey b]

this is why we did not use a RE agent to buy our house and why we used an inspector that we all knew and trusted - no problems

have fun in Hell

[::: :::]

a lot of real estate agents suck, some are good

if this house deal fails, fire yours, pm me & i'll pass on a reputable agent's name for your consideration

[Shadam]

why is it women have to cry when both selling and buying a house ???

and its the mans fault?

let the buyer walk, or at least make them think that. When my group of friends started buying houses I was shocked how little these people knew and how little they researched the game. coz thats wot it is, 1 big gamble with alota money to lose, especially when you completely rely on so called proffessionals. a building inspectors ticket is easy to get. always get 1 who has a construction background I would tell people. shit I cant spell but I could see strait thru this scam of a game.

[DasBlunt]

Der Poopenhousen, both the wife and agent, jeez..

[spook]

hard to fix karma