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  1. #1
    Join Date
    Dec 2012
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    8

    boarding/skiing alone in Jackson?

    Is it safe to go skiing/boarding alone at Jackson? Itll be my first time out there. BTW, I consider myself to be pretty advanced and Ill be staying mostly in the in bound areas.

    thoughts or opinions?

  2. #2
    Join Date
    Nov 2005
    Location
    Down In A Hole, Up in the Sky
    Posts
    22,211
    You gonna DIE!

  3. #3
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    Dec 2012
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    8
    How so?........................

  4. #4
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    Nov 2006
    Location
    Seattle
    Posts
    3,753
    is there a jong onslaught here today?

  5. #5
    Join Date
    Nov 2005
    Location
    Down In A Hole, Up in the Sky
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    22,211
    Well, I don't know the specifics in your case, but your heart will stop beating, your brain will cease to function, no more oxygen will flow to your lungs. You will likely evacuate your bowels, and even your saliva, semen, and other bodily fluids. They you will go into rigor mortis, begin to decay, and turn into a fetid pile of rotting flesh and corpusculent entrails.
    If you are lucky, animals will gnaw on your now useless bones, and a minor evil deity from the planet Kolob will make a ceremonial dinner bell out of your skull, which he will use to summon the Jackals of Moroni, who will then devour your clotted blood in goblets made of petrified Mastadon testicles.

    Beyond that, it is unclear, unfortunately....

  6. #6
    Join Date
    Dec 2009
    Location
    around the bend
    Posts
    383
    It's a troll. It's a troll. It's a f*cking troll. God people are sucked in so easily.

  7. #7
    Join Date
    Dec 2012
    Posts
    8
    Quote Originally Posted by calisnow View Post
    It's a troll. It's a troll. It's a f*cking troll. God people are sucked in so easily.
    its a serious questions.

  8. #8
    Join Date
    Dec 2012
    Posts
    1
    hahahahaha. you're probably safer than riding with the douches with the full passes. just be smart.

  9. #9
    Join Date
    Dec 2012
    Posts
    8
    Quote Originally Posted by rideit View Post
    Well, I don't know the specifics in your case, but your heart will stop beating, your brain will cease to function, no more oxygen will flow to your lungs. You will likely evacuate your bowels, and even your saliva, semen, and other bodily fluids. They you will go into rigor mortis, begin to decay, and turn into a fetid pile of rotting flesh and corpusculent entrails.
    If you are lucky, animals will gnaw on your now useless bones, and a minor evil deity from the planet Kolob will make a ceremonial dinner bell out of your skull, which he will use to summon the Jackals of Moroni, who will then devour your clotted blood in goblets made of petrified Mastadon testicles.

    Beyond that, it is unclear, unfortunately....

    How will I die, as in the events that will cause me to die. Lie getting lost, falling off a cliff.. Not what will happen with I die.

  10. #10
    Join Date
    Nov 2005
    Location
    Down In A Hole, Up in the Sky
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    22,211
    Well, that won't be of much importance anymore, now will it?

  11. #11
    Join Date
    Dec 2012
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    8
    Quote Originally Posted by rideit View Post
    Well, that won't be of much importance anymore, now will it?
    well thats the most important thing.

  12. #12
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    Nov 2005
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    Down In A Hole, Up in the Sky
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    22,211
    Not to Gawd.

  13. #13
    Join Date
    Dec 2012
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    8
    Quote Originally Posted by rideit View Post
    Not to Gawd.

    ? anyone else

  14. #14
    Join Date
    Nov 2005
    Location
    Down In A Hole, Up in the Sky
    Posts
    22,211
    Umm, no one else gives a shit about you, either!

  15. #15
    Join Date
    Oct 2007
    Location
    The Flatlands
    Posts
    2,296
    If you have to ask, probably not.

  16. #16
    Join Date
    Dec 2012
    Posts
    8
    Quote Originally Posted by rideit View Post
    Umm, no one else gives a shit about you, either!


    why//////

  17. #17
    Join Date
    Jul 2005
    Location
    Top of Kingsbury Grade
    Posts
    338
    I guess you don't have OnStar do you? Because I got lost once and they showed me the way...
    When asked how it feels to always ski the first line, the guide replied, it's kinda like peeing your pants, everyone knows you did it, but only you know how good it feels!!!!

  18. #18
    Join Date
    Mar 2010
    Location
    Banana Belt, VT
    Posts
    1,664
    PM icelanticskier. He often waxes rhapsodic of the joys of solo missions.

  19. #19
    Join Date
    Mar 2008
    Location
    Eagle County
    Posts
    138
    Quote Originally Posted by rideit View Post
    Well, I don't know the specifics in your case, but your heart will stop beating, your brain will cease to function, no more oxygen will flow to your lungs. You will likely evacuate your bowels, and even your saliva, semen, and other bodily fluids. They you will go into rigor mortis, begin to decay, and turn into a fetid pile of rotting flesh and corpusculent entrails.
    If you are lucky, animals will gnaw on your now useless bones, and a minor evil deity from the planet Kolob will make a ceremonial dinner bell out of your skull, which he will use to summon the Jackals of Moroni, who will then devour your clotted blood in goblets made of petrified Mastadon testicles.

    Beyond that, it is unclear, unfortunately....

    ^^this is exactly what happened to a friend of mine. Sad day. If only he would have had a partner..made for a cool dinner bell though

  20. #20
    Join Date
    Jun 2006
    Location
    Ventura Highway in the Sunshine
    Posts
    14,747
    No one has ever survived an inbounds day at J-hole. It is like a giant black hole that gapers disappear into. They get on the tram, and never get back to base lodge again.

    It's called the Jackson Hole Triangle for a reason....be afraid, be very afraid.

    I agree it is a constitutional right for Americans to be assholes...its just too bad that so many take the opportunity...
    iscariot

  21. #21
    Join Date
    Nov 2004
    Location
    Sandy, Oragun
    Posts
    690
    if you want to make instant friends in the lift/tram lines, wear either snowblades or rax-skis. everyone will want to schred w/ you, then you wont be alone and your life will be spared. and keep a nice gap between your googles and helmet...exposed skin = even more stoke.

  22. #22
    Join Date
    Feb 2012
    Posts
    788
    Had a buddy went to Jackson alone once, fell off the Tram. BOOM. dead.

  23. #23
    Join Date
    Nov 2012
    Location
    Coloradical
    Posts
    776
    Wyoming grizzly bears donít hibernate. There have been numerous tales of solo skiers or riders getting dragged into caves in the Hobacks. Months later, JH Mtn Patrol only finds bones...Scary shit!

    Make sure you ski with a big handgun. A SW .44 Magnum would be sufficient.

  24. #24
    Join Date
    Jun 2007
    Location
    Cruzing
    Posts
    5,565
    I'm so much cooler than you!!!!!


    That is basically what every reply here can be read as.


    And yes, you will be fine. Unless something bad happens. Then you won't.

  25. #25
    Join Date
    Jan 2004
    Location
    the Low Sierra
    Posts
    6,903
    you can probably pay someone to hold your hand if you're scared

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