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  1. #1
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    Broke up with GF and need advice on how to split the mortgage. Help!

    Hey all-
    So i'll make this as conscice as possible. I bought my current house with my GF ~4 years ago. We both split the payment the entire time we were together. We decided to go seperate ways earlier this year.
    I was able to refinance the mortgage in my name soley, and closed on that refi this afternoon....so now the house, deed etc are all in my name. The question I have is this:
    The "payoff" to to the previous mortgage holder at the time of the refinance (today) was ~$114,000. The house appraised at ~$108,000. With the closing cost rolled in ($4k), I now owe $118,000 on the house.

    I've talked to numerous friends/family about this situation and the all say that we should split this "negative equity" between us, and that she should be writing me a check for ~$3,000 for the negative equity (plus half of the closing cost on the refi, which was $4k).
    Does this sound correct?

    If it were the other way around (positive equity), i'd be writing -her- a check......so splitting this negative equity (and splitting closing cost) seems only fair.

    Any advice/input/experience is greatly appreciated here.
    Fats-

  2. #2
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    Quote Originally Posted by Fat City View Post
    Hey all-
    So i'll make this as conscice as possible. I bought my current house with my GF ~4 years ago. We both split the payment the entire time we were together. We decided to go seperate ways earlier this year.
    I was able to refinance the mortgage in my name soley, and closed on that refi this afternoon....so now the house, deed etc are all in my name. ...
    but you kept the house in your name, so you have an asset still and she has nothing. If I were her, I wouldn't pay anything.

    when you sell it in 5 years are you going to give her 1/2 of the proceeds? Seems only fair!?!
    ... jfost is really ignorant, he often just needs simple facts laid out for him...

  3. #3
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    She was your GF, not your wife... unfortunately, she has no legal obligation to pay you anything.

    You better hope it was an amicable break, otherwise you're screwed.

  4. #4
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    Do you re-imburse her for the tax savings you get for mortgage interest? If you are keeping the house I'm not sure splitting the refi cost is fair for her. get what you can.

  5. #5
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    This would seem a perfect fucking opportunity for naked pics of your ex.
    Quote Originally Posted by Downbound Train View Post
    And there will come a day when our ancestors look back...........

  6. #6
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    This:
    Quote Originally Posted by PNWbrit View Post
    This would seem a perfect fucking opportunity for naked pics of your ex.
    Then this:
    Quote Originally Posted by jfost View Post
    but you kept the house in your name, so you have an asset still and she has nothing. If I were her, I wouldn't pay anything.

    when you sell it in 5 years are you going to give her 1/2 of the proceeds? Seems only fair!?!
    I'd bet a dollar that you'll be happier in the long run if you don't wade into this fight. It's not worth it for a few grand. seriously.

  7. #7
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    read toast2266's post again.
    "fuck off you asshat gaper shit for brains fucktard wanker." - Jesus Christ
    "She was tossing her bean salad with the vigor of a Drunken Pop princess so I walked out of the corner and said.... "need a hand?"" - Odin
    "everybody's got their hooks into you, fuck em....forge on motherfuckers, drag all those bitches across the goal line with you." - (not so) ill-advised strategy

  8. #8
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    Quote Originally Posted by Danno View Post
    read toast2266's post again.
    One more time....

  9. #9
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    Not saying anything new, but unless she is ready and willing to give you a few bucks because she feels bad about blowing the mailman, let it go. If you guys decided to sell the house at the time of the split, instead of the refi, you would have equal parts in all its ups and downs.

  10. #10
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    I'd also add that it is kind of lame to base what she "owes" you on an appraisal, unless you both felt the appraisal actually represents what the property would sell for.

    and how did you not discuss this during the entire refi process???
    "fuck off you asshat gaper shit for brains fucktard wanker." - Jesus Christ
    "She was tossing her bean salad with the vigor of a Drunken Pop princess so I walked out of the corner and said.... "need a hand?"" - Odin
    "everybody's got their hooks into you, fuck em....forge on motherfuckers, drag all those bitches across the goal line with you." - (not so) ill-advised strategy

  11. #11
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    So you bought into a major financial decision with someone you aren't legally attached to and you didn't discuss the what-ifs beforehand?
    Brought to you by Carl's Jr.

  12. #12
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    Thanks for the replies, guys. Fortunately, it has been an extremely amicable breakup. We have discussed the financial aspect of this refi the entire time....it's just come to the point where a decision must be made.

    We both realize she isn't legally obligated to pay me anything. If we were to sell the house instead of splitting it/me refinancing in my name.....we would have had to bring a check for ~$6K to closing. This is where we are basing our figures and decision from. We would have split that amount, had we stayed together and sold the house.

    She is willing to give me cash for half of both, the closing cost and "negative equity". I just wanted to get a little more feedback from the mags that may have gone through this before and I wasn't sure if the way we are looking at the situation is the way an objective party would (which is why i'm here).

  13. #13
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    Quote Originally Posted by commonlaw View Post
    unless she is ready and willing to give you a few bucks because she feels bad about blowing the mailman
    Click image for larger version. 

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    .........
    Quote Originally Posted by powder11 View Post
    if you have to resort to taking advice from the nitwits on this forum, then you're doomed.

  14. #14
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    Quote Originally Posted by Fat City View Post
    Thanks for the replies, guys. Fortunately, it has been an extremely amicable breakup. We have discussed the financial aspect of this refi the entire time....it's just come to the point where a decision must be made.

    We both realize she isn't legally obligated to pay me anything. If we were to sell the house instead of splitting it/me refinancing in my name.....we would have had to bring a check for ~$6K to closing. This is where we are basing our figures and decision from. We would have split that amount, had we stayed together and sold the house.

    She is willing to give me cash for half of both, the closing cost and "negative equity". I just wanted to get a little more feedback from the mags that may have gone through this before and I wasn't sure if the way we are looking at the situation is the way an objective party would (which is why i'm here).
    You said you bought the house with your girlfriend...how did you initially take title?

    As to the dumb ass who said you got an asset....no, you didn't. With negative net worth, you got an obligation. There is some logic in her repaying you. She would have 3g in the hole if sold and is off the obligation if it was kept.

    Still, naked pics would be helpful.
    Quando paramucho mi amore de felice carathon.
    Mundo paparazzi mi amore cicce verdi parasol.
    Questo abrigado tantamucho que canite carousel.


  15. #15
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    Quote Originally Posted by irul&ublo View Post
    There is some logic in her repaying you. She would have 3g in the hole if sold and is off the obligation if it was kept.
    But he didn't sell. He kept the "obligation" and will keep the proceeds from a future sale, if any. If he thinks that's a bad bet, he could have sold and split the loss.

  16. #16
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    Quote Originally Posted by irul&ublo View Post
    You said you bought the house with your girlfriend...how did you initially take title?

    As to the dumb ass who said you got an asset....no, you didn't. With negative net worth, you got an obligation. There is some logic in her repaying you. She would have 3g in the hole if sold and is off the obligation if it was kept.

    Still, naked pics would be helpful.
    This was my point of contention as well. Technically, I am now ~$10,000 in the red on this house. Sure, the market may turn around in a few years, but it isn't now, and that's what matters. Initially, we bought the house together, and shared the "deed".....both of our names were on it.

    The refi was done for two reasons:
    1) to clear her name off the mortgage
    2) to clear her of any legal right to the property

    I had her sign a quit claim deed previous to the refinance, so now my name is the only name on the deed and mortgage. As stated, had we sold the house at current appraised/comps/market value.....we both would have had to bring $3k each to the table to close. This is where I feel that I should have some compensation coming my way. The house may be a profitable asset in a few years, but it is not right now.

    At the very least, I feel splitting the closing cost is fair, as that had to be done to clear her name from the mortgage (which we both wanted).

  17. #17
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    Quote Originally Posted by El Chupacabra View Post
    Click image for larger version. 

Name:	Karl-Malone2.jpg 
Views:	190 
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    .........

    Yeah what this guy sez!!! Karl Malone loves da white women!
    Karl Malone never met a personal pronoun Karl Malone liked.

  18. #18
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    Isn't you buying the house again speculation on future equity?

    I think the only way you are entitled to money is if you both sold it, and you had to make up the difference. You bought it solo, so now you take the price hit solo? Something does not add up in the logic department.
    Terje was right.

    "We're all kooks to somebody else." -Shelby Menzel

  19. #19
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    How much of the down payment did she kick in on the original purchase? If she put down half and didn't take it back out as part of the refi, then she's already taken a hit for some of the neg equity.

  20. #20
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    Quote Originally Posted by Fat City View Post
    Fortunately, it has been an extremely amicable breakup.
    How did you do that? I want a new move, I usually let them catch me spanking it, naked in a horse mask watching animal planet but I'm looking for a new method. That way they make sure to give me back everything and sometimes they even leave stuff.

    Thanks ahead of time!

  21. #21
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    Quote Originally Posted by telebobski View Post
    How much of the down payment did she kick in on the original purchase? If she put down half and didn't take it back out as part of the refi, then she's already taken a hit for some of the neg equity.
    I funded the initial downpayment entirely myself.

  22. #22
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    I think there's also the question of who can afford what. If she has a legit job and and afford it, and if you refi'd solely in the interest of making an amicable split, then I think her kicking you the $3K is the right thing to do.

    Otherwise, if you wanted to keep the house instead of selling and her paying $3K would be a major hardship for her, then let it go.

    Also: pics.

  23. #23
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    Quote Originally Posted by Fat City View Post
    This was my point of contention as well. Technically, I am now ~$10,000 in the red on this house. Sure, the market may turn around in a few years, but it isn't now, and that's what matters. Initially, we bought the house together, and shared the "deed".....both of our names were on it.

    The refi was done for two reasons:
    1) to clear her name off the mortgage
    2) to clear her of any legal right to the property

    I had her sign a quit claim deed previous to the refinance, so now my name is the only name on the deed and mortgage. As stated, had we sold the house at current appraised/comps/market value.....we both would have had to bring $3k each to the table to close. This is where I feel that I should have some compensation coming my way. The house may be a profitable asset in a few years, but it is not right now.

    At the very least, I feel splitting the closing cost is fair, as that had to be done to clear her name from the mortgage (which we both wanted).
    You're a fucking moron.

    You actually expect her to make up some fictional difference between what the house is supposedly worth and what you paid. What the fuck does she get? She already paid for half of the mortgage for four years, and doesn't have shit to show for it, except for the freedom of not living in the same house as you. That, she was willing to walk away from, just to get out of Dodge, right? Be happy with that. Christ, when my ex WIFE wanted me to pay for the fucking divorce and a few other things I could have, ahem, quibbled about, I said, after a pause, yeah, sure what the fuckever. Keep the fucking co-op, too, it was worth the walk.

    Did you force her to go dutch everywhere else?

    Don't be a dick.

  24. #24
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    Quote Originally Posted by Benny Profane View Post
    You're a fucking moron.

    You actually expect her to make up some fictional difference between what the house is supposedly worth and what you paid. What the fuck does she get? She already paid for half of the mortgage for four years, and doesn't have shit to show for it, except for the freedom of not living in the same house as you. That, she was willing to walk away from, just to get out of Dodge, right? Be happy with that. Christ, when my ex WIFE wanted me to pay for the fucking divorce and a few other things I could have, ahem, quibbled about, I said, after a pause, yeah, sure what the fuckever. Keep the fucking co-op, too, it was worth the walk.

    Did you force her to go dutch everywhere else?

    Don't be a dick.
    Bitter much? Jesus Christ. Maybe toss in a few more commas to ease yourself into your lonely, acetic evening.

    To everyone else not riding asshole bus, thanks for the input.

  25. #25
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    Benny = bitter ragebeast. It's actually quite sad.

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