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  1. #1
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    50 Shades of Grey

    Make your wife read this book.

    unless she is a total prude, then make her read it twice

  2. #2
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    Granted I'm not a chick nor anybody's wife, but this critique doesn't make it sound all that great, unless you like hack fan fiction...

    http://www.thedailybeast.com/article...ublishing.html
    "Man, we killin' elephants in the back yard..."

    https://www.blizzard-tecnica.com/us/en

  3. #3
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    Oh, it's total crap. But it gets them all worked up.

  4. #4
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    so i downloaded this to see what the hype was about. figured there was a thread here, has anyone actually read the whole thing? i got through the first 2 pages, then started skipping through for the sex scenes (duh). these are repetitive and often absurd to the point of completely unsexy, imo. gave up pretty soon.

    storyline as far as i have been able to determine: super good looking billionaire seduces 21 year old virgin that has never masturbated and is completely unaware of her beauty. they have totally mind blowing sex and she discovers she has no gag reflex and finds her inner goddess. she signs a contract to be his slave in a bdsm relationship.

    he had a difficult childhood and nags at her to finish her food because he has suffered hunger himself. also attempts to solve problem of world hunger as a hobby. he buys her lots of expensive stuff, which she has moral doubts about but eventually accepts. they start bdsm relationship. she has orgasms all the time and they are always "earthshattering".

    Guessing here but I assume she helps him get over his traumatic childhood and they develop a loving, fairly normal relationship, just with totally super awesome sex all the time. Perhaps they aquire a dog and children in the sequel.

    Was not expecting great literature but figured the erotica aspect might be fun, which it's not. I actually preferred the sparkling vampires. Consider well before recommending this to your wife, she might consider it an insult.
    Ich bitte dich nur, weck mich nicht.

  5. #5
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    You won't need to tell your wife about it. 20 of her friends already have.
    I don't get it. It is total garbage, and the entire premise seems degrading to women as a whole, but they love it. What is old is new again I guess.

  6. #6
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    Yeah, Wart is right. This book has pushed a ton of buttons. It may be "crap", but, it's a window into something you need to know.

  7. #7
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    Guess it is pretty easy to figure out who lives in suburbia.

  8. #8
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    My already open minded wife is going to read this for her next book. If she brings something new to the bedroom, I'll report back.
    All I want is to be hardcore.

    www.tonystreks.com

  9. #9
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    All I know is that I don't know nothin'... and that's fine.

  10. #10
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    ^ That's hilarious.....
    Quote Originally Posted by Downbound Train View Post
    And there will come a day when our ancestors look back...........

  11. #11
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    you see a tie dye disc in there?
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    Quote Originally Posted by Dickeymotto View Post


    yep... win... actually saw that last night and showed the wife (she is reading them) and the look on the face was great.

    x2 props for any book that gets the ladies hot and bothered....

  12. #12
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    Quote Originally Posted by Dickeymotto View Post
    Holy Shit. I miss that guy. Too bad about that unfortunate duck thing. Hope he saved his money.

  13. #13
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    Quote Originally Posted by Benny Profane View Post
    Hope he saved his money.
    Oh, its still comin and there is a lot of it. Had a funny conversation with one of the higher ups at Aflac at a golf tourney a few weeks ago. Still, that guy left some serious coin, for barely any work, on the table.

  14. #14
    Hugh Conway Guest
    Quote Originally Posted by commonlaw View Post
    Oh, its still comin and there is a lot of it.
    21 year old virgin with no gag-reflex coin?

  15. #15
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    There needs to be a "50 Shades of Grey" email feed, we can call it "A Shade a Day". Need to keep the wimmenz warmed up.

  16. #16
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    Quote Originally Posted by iceman View Post
    There needs to be a "50 Shades of Grey" email feed, we can call it "A Shade a Day". Need to keep the wimmenz warmed up.
    Agreed. My fiance read the whole damn book in one day, so I only got one fuck out of it. Got to get them to pace themselves so it is actually worth something. Luckily there are two more books...
    All I know is that I don't know nothin'... and that's fine.

  17. #17
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    Quote Originally Posted by Dickeymotto View Post
    Agreed. My fiance read the whole damn book in one day, so I only got one fuck out of it. Got to get them to pace themselves so it is actually worth something. Luckily there are two more books...
    Shit, you aren't married? Convince her to start working on that gag reflex right away.
    I read a couple of the scenes my wife found so hot. I don't get it. They really are from Mars. Not one lesbian scene in the whole book. Fuckin' bullshit chick lit.

  18. #18
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    I asked my wife how the book was while she happened to be reading their submissive contract. I asked her what the safety word was and got no response.

    A couple minutes later she says "Yellow and Red. How do YOU know what a 'saftey' word is?"

    Well hon, I watch a lot more porn than you do.

    No way!

    You're right, you obviously watch way more than I do.

    lulz.

  19. #19
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    That reading was hilarious!!!! Hard to explain to coworkers why Im laughin so hard at work! LOL! But, I wouldnt be able to stand listening to him read an entire book - he does start to annoy me after awhile. Thanks for the laugh though.
    パウダーバカ!!

  20. #20
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    Quote Originally Posted by warthog View Post
    I don't get it. It is total garbage, and the entire premise seems degrading to women as a whole, but they love it.
    PROTIP: what women say they want, and what they actually want, are almost never the same.

    I'm not saying all women are like this -- but the success of books like 50 Shades and Twilight prove that a substantial number of women would give up "equal rights" in a heartbeat if they could just find a powerful man (filthy rich, vampire, whatever) with abs and broad shoulders to take care of them, and to demand absolutely nothing in return other than they continue being the beautiful, unique snowflake they all know they are in their heart of hearts. This is not good or bad...it's just a fact.

  21. #21
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    Quote Originally Posted by Spats View Post
    ... This is not good or bad...it's just a fact.
    No, it's bad. Just ask any woman.
    ...Some will fall in love with life and drink it from a fountain that is pouring like an avalanche coming down the mountain...

    "I enjoy skinny skiing, bullfights on acid..." - Lacy Underalls

    The problems we face will not be solved by the minds that created them.

  22. #22
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    Quote Originally Posted by Spats View Post
    PROTIP: what women say they want, and what they actually want, are almost never the same.

    I'm not saying all women are like this -- but the success of books like 50 Shades and Twilight prove that a substantial number of women would give up "equal rights" in a heartbeat if they could just find a powerful man (filthy rich, vampire, whatever) with abs and broad shoulders to take care of them, and to demand absolutely nothing in return other than they continue being the beautiful, unique snowflake they all know they are in their heart of hearts. This is not good or bad...it's just a fact.
    Date like a caveman?
    Quote Originally Posted by Downbound Train View Post
    And there will come a day when our ancestors look back...........

  23. #23
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    I read this book because of the hype. I had to force myself to finish it.

    I did not like it and it did not make me hot, and it perpetuates the whole idea that women can "fix" men if they bend to their whims and love them enough.

    I am not a normal woman, though...

    Some of the sex scenes MIGHT be hot if Christian wasn't such a fucked up nutcase...

  24. #24
    Hugh Conway Guest
    Quote Originally Posted by mtngirl79 View Post
    Some of the sex scenes MIGHT be hot if Christian wasn't such a fucked up nutcase...
    Did you try drinking some tequila (or red wine) and focusing on the sex?

  25. #25
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    Quote Originally Posted by mtngirl79 View Post
    I did not like it and it did not make me hot, and it perpetuates the whole idea that women can "fix" men if they bend to their whims and love them enough.

    I am not a normal woman, though...
    That's why you're a keeper.

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