OMG restaurant LOLZ...

[DoWork]

A friend from HS just made this video about servers... If you've ever worked in a restaurant, this is a must fkn see hahahahahaha

Good production value I must say, and the shots of him doing stupid shit cracked me up, dude hasn't changed a bit- GO POSE! If you like it, please share it, I'd love to help this sketch go viral.

[ski.stealer]

Teh funny?

It's not gettin' real in the restaurant.

[pillowfluffer]

I thought this would be amusing. I didn't even make it through the first 30 seconds.

It was teh dumb, not teh funny.

[Grape_Ape]

Yeah...not really funny. Sorry bro.

[OldLarry]

comes off as a total douche, and I am someone who believes everyone should have to work in a restaurant (or 10) to ensure they are decent human beings when dining in them.

Seriously.

[legallyillegal]

assload of fuck.

fuck this shit.

[digitaldeath]

servers think they are so fucking sweet
this shit is embarrassing

serving is for fags

[Chainsaw_Willie]

servers think they are so fucking sweet
this shit is embarrassing

serving is for fags

Yeah, because living on your own and paying your own way through school is so gay.

But I agree: video/=funny.

[AdironRider]

Having working in restaurants for 12 years, and holding down almost every position other than exec chef, I can relate to a lot of stuff.

The spitting in the food thing always gets me. Ive spent something like 8000 paid hours in a restaurant and Ive never seen this happen once. Even with the worst of people. Its not even funny, just creepy.

Ill give you the production quality was pretty sweet for some server.

[reganized]

I've seen lots of chefs do far worse things than spit in food but it was never a customer's food. Always Managements!

[arewolfe]

The manager at a place I worked at once put lettuce inside his ass cheeks while he made the customer's sandwich (it was a delivery order) and then topped that bitch off with freshly wilted butt leaves. Fucking sick.

[advres]

I guess you have to know him to find it funny.

[Chainsaw_Willie]

The spitting in the food thing always gets me. Ive spent something like 8000 paid hours in a restaurant and Ive never seen this happen once. Even with the worst of people. Its not even funny, just creepy.

I can't tell you how many hours I've spent working in restaurants but I can tell you about the one time a friend of mine spit in a guy's food.

"Kenny" was a high school bully. He was the worst kind of trash. He picked fights for the fun of picking fights, and his usual targets were the bully du-jour: Those he felt were weaker than him and "deserved" to be bullied. He went out of his way to make trouble with people who really wanted nothing to do with him. On the last day of high school a guy who was an associate of "Kenny" showed up at our hang out and said that "Kenny" had a gun and was looking for my friend. Now, we don't know if this was actually true or not, but my friend did the smart thing and skipped out of the rest of the school day.

Fast forward a couple years. My friend and I are working at a tourist-trap restaurant on the waterfront and guess who shows up? Yep, "Kenny." He has the usual assortment of lowlifes hanging with him and clearly has not changed his ways. He got some slightly soggy fish-n-chips that day and he deserved far worse.

A few years later that same friend and I were delivering pizzas as we worked our way through college. There was a regular customer who was a complete asshole. He always had something rude/mean to say, without fail, and he never, ever tipped. I mean honestly, if you hate the pizza co. so much and the people who work for it, why do you repeatedly order from there? One week my friend delivered to him and he gave him a quarter as a tip, his first tip ever. As he handed it to my friend he said "put it in your college fund, kid." The next time he ordered, he got the "floor dirt special." We swept all the shit up from under the cut table and sprinkled it on his deluxe pie before it went through the oven. I hope he enjoyed it. I don't feel the least bit bad about that to this day.

[sftc]

A decent night in a shitty chain restaurant where assholes might fuck with your food (it happens, but it's mostly urban legend):
Average tab: $15 per person (lots of promo specials and not many drinkers)
Average covers per shift: 50 (5 Fourtop tables turned over 2.5X per shift)
$15/pp X 50 covers = $750 sales
$750 sales x 15% (shitty tippers)
= $112.50 in tips or less then $100 after tip out

A decent night at a good restaurant where the waitstaff has a nice shift meal with a glass of wine before the shift AND where IF A SERVER EVER FUCKED with a guest's food the chef would probably cut them:
Average tab: $100 pp (the goal is to have the table finish the first bottle of wine and order a second just before the entrees are served.)
Average covers per shift: 24 (4 fourtops that are turned over 2X with 3 guests per seating avg.)
$100/pp X 24 covers = $2,400 sales
$2,400 sales x 22% (good service + return guests = good tippers)
= $528 in tips or $400 to $475 after tip out

In the past I've worked at both types and I actually kind of miss the scene and the easy cash of working at a really nice place. At the same time it's almost impossible to get a job at a high end restaurant, they're occasionally WAY high stress and they tend to crash and burn, while the shit hole TGIF place down at the mall chugs along with servers picking their noses on the line while waiting for your fried poppers to come up.
But the people in the video look happy so whatever....

[DoWork]

bah, you guys suck. He had me at "fuck 'em" and the part about ignoring parties of 8 or more cracked me up.

Arewolf, "freshly wilted butt leaves" had me dying. Remind me to never go there. Ever.

Old Larry, I completely agree with you that service in a restaurant should be mandatory so you know what's up and you learn how to tip. Most customers are fine, but holy truckload of fuck some people are downright assholes that I'm convinced only go out to shit on people and make a point not to tip.


If you guys don't like that people can fuck with you food, don't be a dick to the person handling your meal it's pretty simple. Do you insult the babysitter before you leave your house and child in their care?? Cuss out your mechanic before you leave your car with him?? Treat others how you want to be treated. Restaurant jobs might have a constantly rotating cast of young girls, a decent amount of cash and hilarious people, but it certainly takes it out of you, mostly because customers suck and there's always 10 girls losing their minds during the dinner rush.

[iceman]

Those douchebags ^^^^ suck. It's funny. There's a few good lines in there, he's a good writer. I'm not a social networks guy but that could go viral, keep pumpin it. The only negative (and it's not huge, he can fix it) is his flow kinda breaks down a little a couple times, he could work on that. NOT a dealbreaker though.

Fuck the hatazzzz

[advres]

Jezz guise, don't take it personal. My take on it was he should do the waiter parody shit or the real hiphop shit but not try to straddle the line. That's why Jon Lajoie is now in a TV show. He has skills making fun of stupid shit but doesn't try and make it 'balla'. The guy should do one or the other. Or at least make it hilarious 100% the way through like The Lonely Island.

[DoWork]

Jezz guise, don't take it personal. My take on it was he should do the waiter parody shit or the real hiphop shit but not try to straddle the line. That's why Jon Lajoie is now in a TV show. He has skills making fun of stupid shit but doesn't try and make it 'balla'. The guy should do one or the other. Or at least make it hilarious 100% the way through like The Lonely Island.

Well thats why it slayed me- this kid is so far from a rapper it isn't even funny... He's into sketch comedy and being a goof. He's not making an album or anything, just having a good time with friends making fun of their shitty jobs. This was a joke, not intended to be "baller" at all, but the production value is so good I can see where people think he's being serious about rapping or something.

So yeah, def don't take this seriously- dude is not trying to become a rapper, he's making fun of them. It won't make the subject matter any funnier if you haven't worked in a restaurant but figured I'd clear that part up at least.

[advres]

I get that... but I don't need him talking about his rims in a sketch rap about being head waiter. It made no sense and wasn't funny. If he stuck to a "waiting" style theme I guess it would have been much funnier. Guess I'm just ornery today

[DoWork]

I get that... but I don't need him talking about his rims in a sketch rap about being head waiter. It made no sense and wasn't funny. If he stuck to a "waiting" style theme I guess it would have been much funnier. Guess I'm just ornery today

Today???

[MMP]

Cuss out your mechanic before you leave your car with him??

so I fix motorcycles for a living, and this dude comes in one time all "I do work son, blah blah blah,"

we roasted the shit out of that dudes racing tire, spackled his rear fender with rubber, and then, get this......tod him to go fuck himself. hilarity ensued.

[Chainsaw_Willie]

^^^Awesome.

I worked tech support for a software company after college. People would call up when our product didn't work on their computer and some of them were REALLY pissed off. It was our job to help them get their shit working so if they started in with the insults and bad attitude we'd just say to them "There are two people in the world who care about your problem right now, and one of them is rapidly losing interest." That shut up all of them but the true idiots.

[JimmyCarter]

so I fix motorcycles for a living, and this dude comes in one time all "I do work son, blah blah blah,"

we roasted the shit out of that dudes racing tire, spackled his rear fender with rubber, and then, get this......tod him to go fuck himself. hilarity ensued.

I laughed. Not sure if it was because I was picturing dw walking in and saying "I do work son" or picturing you turning this into a viral rap parody

[DasBlunt]

Summertime bitches rant....... I did not even watch the douchy vid, the thread exchange was enough.

DoWork trolled you all.


edt, oh yeah, worst thread ever.