The year Secret Santa was asked not to return...

[Lurch]

I hope you work in a very open minded office! My whole group was almost fired at my last job when a new woman didn't like our jokes. We had even toned it down big time when she was hired but what we thought was nothing set her off.

[Arty50]

Does the Batman electric toothbrush have that gum stimulator thingy too?

This question seems to come with some experience in this matter...

[AntiSoCalSkier]

It's not quite as bad as a vibrator/toothbrush, but we're a bunch of engineers.

We had a white elephant gift exchange last year, and my boss picked up some will-writing software for the exchange. The recepient didn't find it nearly as funny as the rest of us.

[jibij]

It's not quite as bad as a vibrator/toothbrush, but we're a bunch of engineers.

http://www.varietyclubofmanitoba.ca/Ed%20mcMahon.JPG

YOU ARE CORRECT, SIR!

[meatdrink9]

Well it's done. One guy gave another dude some sort cream to rub on his balls that was supposed to be steroids. My boss gave the other account girl a pair of underwear with a forged signature from Danny Hinote and a photoshopped picture of him in the underwear. The joke behind this is that a few weeks ago in Aspen the account girl woke up with Dan Hinote half naked in her hotel room. Apparently the girl she was sharing a room with brought him back that night.

And for my gift: It sat there shaking while everybody laughed. The girl was really cautious to pick it up and unwrap it. It took awhile to unwrap and she was blushing pretty bad. When she finally saw what it was she started laughing and then threw the wrapping stuff at me. Then they stuffed the egg/cardboard thing in the Dan Hinote underwear.

[divegirl]

Ok so for my secret santa this year, it's this guy who just broke up with his wife, and he's been screwing another one of our co-workers for a few months now. I was thinking of getting him a bunch of maxim/stuff magazines, or that new Heidi Klum book (he's that kind of guy...male pig type, although he's generally really nice...). What should I get him?

[Oarhead]

Ok so for my secret santa this year, it's this guy who just broke up with his wife, and he's been screwing another one of our co-workers for a few months now. I was thinking of getting him a bunch of maxim/stuff magazines, or that new Heidi Klum book (he's that kind of guy...male pig type, although he's generally really nice...). What should I get him?

How about a box of jimmy hats and a book on workplace ethics?

[Tippster]

Ok so for my secret santa this year, it's this guy who just broke up with his wife, and he's been screwing another one of our co-workers for a few months now. I was thinking of getting him a bunch of maxim/stuff magazines, or that new Heidi Klum book (he's that kind of guy...male pig type, although he's generally really nice...). What should I get him?

Condoms and Spanish Fly.

Oh: and the ten commandments stencilled on a rock.

[iceman]

Well it's done. One guy gave another dude some sort cream to rub on his balls that was supposed to be steroids. My boss gave the other account girl a pair of underwear with a forged signature from Danny Hinote and a photoshopped picture of him in the underwear. The joke behind this is that a few weeks ago in Aspen the account girl woke up with Dan Hinote half naked in her hotel room. Apparently the girl she was sharing a room with brought him back that night.

And for my gift: It sat there shaking while everybody laughed. The girl was really cautious to pick it up and unwrap it. It took awhile to unwrap and she was blushing pretty bad. When she finally saw what it was she started laughing and then threw the wrapping stuff at me. Then they stuffed the egg/cardboard thing in the Dan Hinote underwear.

Awesome. But who the hell is Dan Inote?

[meatdrink9]

Professionally Hockey Striker er... I mean Player. Plays for the Avalanche.

[Viva]

Oh: and the ten commandments stencilled on a rock.

With a new eleventh commandment added: Thou shalt not dork thy co-worker.

[FNG]

What, nobody's given a chin-strap yet?

[1080Rider]

Best chin strap story ever...

I dated a girl a long time ago who had a 7 yr old brother. She also had a 13-14 yr old brother who played baseball. Of course he wore a cup to practice. The 7 yr old was always a little intrigued by the whole ball cover. He'd mess w/ it on occasion, punch his brother when he had it on, the regular stuff.

So for x-mas he wanted the football outfit that every kid wants, the hutch helmet and shoulder pads w/ the jersey. X-mas finally comes and he rips into the presents. He rips one open and immediately goes to the next one looking for the football uniform. He finally gets ahold of it and lays in. As soon as he has the paper off he rips into the box. He starts pulling everything out, pants first, shoulder pads, then the helmet. He looks inside the helmet and gets REALLY excited... "awesome, look, it has a DINK PAD" as he holds up the chin strap. Needless to say everyone started laughing.

[freshie247]

Hey J,

What can I say but this just goes to prove that the entire fabric of the space time continum is not only curved,but in fact is totally bent!

[freshie247]

I hope you work in a very open minded office! My whole group was almost fired at my last job when a new woman didn't like our jokes. We had even toned it down big time when she was hired but what we thought was nothing set her off.

Fuck her & that Self righteously indignated hypocritical B.S.!