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Thread: I Hate Hippster Music.
01-04-2011, 11:18 AM #1
I Hate Hippster Music.
Yeah. I said it. I can't stand the shit.
And before you lambast me for posting this, I am the first to admit that I'm no musical critic. I live in the sticks of Idaho and I'm hardly qualified to listen to the radio. I know everything is subjective and for each there own, etc.
But holy shit.
How do you folks select a track of this auditory colonoscopy and start singing along? Is there such thing as jammin' hard on the air bass to hippster music? Do you ever find yourself throwin' down on the air synthesizer? When you're listening to this calf scour on your ipod while painting, do you ever say, "man--I wish I was there when they wrote this song. Some seriously good speedballs getting shot that night!"
No. You don't.
Because I contend that hippster music doesn't move you. Never once in the history of hippster music has someone been standing outside a liquor store, snub nosed revolver in their shaking hand, David Letterman rubber mask ready to be pulled down over there face, doubt and fear overcoming their will to kick ass and rob this bitch, when--bam! That kickass beat from the electronic drum machine kicks in, the sythesizer rockin' so hard and two lesbian twins' vocals come at them like an out of control steam engine! Suddenly all doubt and fear is gone and they kick that door open and shout "get the fuck down! This is my muthafucka now. Step!"
That will never happen.
And what about the concerts? Of course I've never been to a Fleet Foxes show, or Interpol, or Bloc Party or anything like it. But try as I might, I can't imagine people's heads exploding at the musical brain fisting they're bearing witness to. I find it hard to picture an entire crowd of several thousand jumping in unison, collectively soiling their vintage thriftstore super hero underwear at how mind blowing the guitar work is, or the percussion. Do chicks even flash their breasts at these shows? Are we in America?
Now before you go all Morrisey on me and tell me I'm a has-been heshen who only likes hard rock, know that you're wrong. I love hip hop. I dig all sorts of rock. Radiohead rocks my shit regularly. Hell, I can even dig on Bjork from time to time, given her undeniable talent.
But I'll give you $10 if you can explain to me the merits of Hippster rock."All God does is watch us and kill us when we get boring. We must never, ever be boring."
01-04-2011, 11:23 AM #2
I don't know anything about hippster rock but that post was emo as fuck.
01-04-2011, 11:24 AM #3
Bloc party is hipster music? I had no idea. I personally have no problem with electronic-infused rock, though many hipster bands do suck out loud. The benefit for many is to have traditional rock tropes that are danceable due to driving to a four-on-the-floor beat. It seems to be mostly English in origin, likely due to the blended influence of the 90's grunge/rock colliding with the more popular electronica(over there)/pop(everywhere).
Some other stuff is just unapproachable shit that people enjoy making others listen so they can watch the noses curl and state that "they just don't understand it".
01-04-2011, 11:26 AM #4
You might hate the music, but you know you love the pants...
01-04-2011, 12:05 PM #5
What the heel is a hipster???? or a hippster???
When I think of a hipster, I think of someone from the 20's or 30's or 40's wearing a zoot suit....and I barely even know what a zoot suit is, although I have a good picture in my head.
Here's what I think of when I think of "hipster":
Or even this:
But DEFINITELY NOT this:
So...to all this NEW 'hipster' thing.....I say:
01-04-2011, 01:08 PM #6¡Órale, vato!
01-04-2011, 01:45 PM #7yelgatgab
- Join Date
- Oct 2002
- Shadynasty's Jazz Club
The subliminal messages in your heavy metal are misleading you on what hipsters are and what music they listen to. Try mixing some crank in with your paint thinner, or maybe cut out huffing gasoline for a few days.
I'd be concerned about the Bjork problem, though. You may want to get that looked at.
01-04-2011, 02:01 PM #8Registered User
- Join Date
- Nov 2010
You simply don't grasp hipster music because you are so wrapped up in your day to day grind involving sucking from the mans teet and jerking off to Russian gonzo. Maybe one day my friend you can enlighten yourself and quit purchasing your cookie cutter clothes and mainstream pop music!
On a serious note I fucking hate hipster music, as well as hipsters.
01-04-2011, 02:46 PM #9
That said, I hate pop music.
Bags--Bjork is from Iceland. So go suck it or something."All God does is watch us and kill us when we get boring. We must never, ever be boring."
01-04-2011, 03:23 PM #10
How can I be sure you're not listening to Cowboys From Hell ironically?In the long run, we're all dead.- John Maynard Keynes
01-04-2011, 03:42 PM #11
01-04-2011, 04:22 PM #12
OOKOKOKOKOK,,, Bjork, Shania, and Shakira triple decker club sandwich!!!!!
01-04-2011, 04:37 PM #13
01-04-2011, 04:37 PM #14
Yeah, the XX or Bon Iver don't make me want to pound my fist in the air or shotgun a beer, but neither does Miles Davis, so what's your point?
Oh and congratulations on being so open-minded because you listen to Radiohead.We heard you in our twilight caves, one hundred fathom deep below, for notes of joy can pierce the waves, that drown each sound of war and woe.
01-04-2011, 04:41 PM #15"All God does is watch us and kill us when we get boring. We must never, ever be boring."
01-04-2011, 04:42 PM #16
You fuckers are caught in a hate mobius.
It is hipster to hate hipsters.
01-04-2011, 04:59 PM #17
01-04-2011, 05:12 PM #18
01-04-2011, 05:16 PM #19In the long run, we're all dead.- John Maynard Keynes
01-04-2011, 05:21 PM #20
1) Hipsters listen to hipster music
2) Hipsters revel in irony
3) A hipster hating hipster music would be ironic
4) TRF hates hipster music
5) Therefore, TRF must be a hipster
01-04-2011, 06:09 PM #21We heard you in our twilight caves, one hundred fathom deep below, for notes of joy can pierce the waves, that drown each sound of war and woe.
01-04-2011, 07:07 PM #22
Steven--you are wrong. Hippsteronomy is a way of life, an all-encompassing mantra where fashion is only a facet. Trust me. I'm from Portland.
Toast--you are wrong. I don't even know who Beach House is. And while I own some big glasses, I assure you I look horrible in skinny jeans. Like soul-scarring horrible.
Still waiting on that $10 explanation!"All God does is watch us and kill us when we get boring. We must never, ever be boring."
01-04-2011, 07:17 PM #23
didn't you flee Portland before the great hipster epidemic?
i do know I'd rather fuck a girl from a hipstah concert than a lynrd skynrd showLord King of the Beater-Kooks
01-04-2011, 07:49 PM #24
Wait a minute. In no place did I ever even hint at disliking hippsters. I just don't like hippster music. I have lots of hippster friends....they're good people with terrible taste in music. And there are lots of hippster girls that are hot, for shiz."All God does is watch us and kill us when we get boring. We must never, ever be boring."
01-04-2011, 08:29 PM #25