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Thread: Kill me now.

  1. #51
    Join Date
    Feb 2010
    Posts
    4,547
    i've decided to be such a pain in the ass at my wifes family gatherings that they just dont care if im there or not.
    show up late, leave early, rag on their kids, bring the dog and my own beverages, ask super stupid questions, you know all the things i do anyways, but in front of the fundamentally sheltered crew she's blood with.
    they don't hold this against my wife, she is my polar opposite and has not yet learned how to offend others. my young son seems to be following in his mothers path to kindness and respect.
    that's my story
    bobby

  2. #52
    Join Date
    Dec 2003
    Location
    Nhampshire
    Posts
    7,762
    I actually had a great christmas. Hung out with the fam a bit, got to play with my niece (a small devious clone of myself, somehow). Then went to GF's families, serving as her social tank whilst getting drunk and receiving entirely too many presents for just being a BF. Ended it with her making me dinner and enjoying parts of a fine bottle of scotch she bought me.

    I did not, however, get to go skiing.

  3. #53
    Join Date
    Jan 2009
    Location
    Double Drip, Idaho
    Posts
    135
    Well, things this year weren't as bad as years past. No time had to be spent at my GF's VERY Mormon family's house, as they are too busy planning the "temple wedding" for their youngest daughter next week. Score, me.

    Spent Xmas eve at my grandparents house as usual, with extended family and watched as my grandfather (79yrs) indulged in pour after pour of the Stranahans's Whiskey I brought for the masses. He was HAMMERED by 6, and I wasn't far behind him.

    This was followed by us shooting clay pigeons (and anything else we fancied, really) out back, and finishing the Stranahan's handle by ourselves until we ran out of shells, having been ostrasized by the family earlier in the night for "being too silly".

    It could be worse. Happy Holidaze all-

    Fats-

  4. #54
    Join Date
    Nov 2003
    Location
    Stuck in perpetual Meh
    Posts
    35,247
    You shot while drunk? Hrmmmm....

  5. #55
    Join Date
    Jul 2009
    Location
    Portland
    Posts
    160
    I'm Jewish so I don't celebrate Christmas. Still, with my weekend off, I decided to visit my family about 3 1/2 hours away. On the drive home I buy a fifth of lemonade-flavored vodka for my brothers and I to drink. Sort of a "welcome home mutherfuckers" thing. That night I proceed to drink wahaaaay too much since lemonade-flavored vodka is basically straight vodka with about a pound of sugar and two lemons in it. After holding my own hair back as I throw up in the downstairs toilet (thanks bros) I start to drunk dial friends. Halfway through my drunken calls and not completely understanding why some of my friends aren't tickled that I've called them to make hilarious inebriated jokes ... I realize it's Christmas Eve. Oops. Sorry guys.
    Take it easy ... if it's easy take it twice.

  6. #56
    Join Date
    Nov 2009
    Location
    da eskalaterz
    Posts
    1,200
    I've just decided I will eventually marry a Jewish girl. Because of this thread.

  7. #57
    Join Date
    Apr 2008
    Location
    Denver
    Posts
    1,251
    Quote Originally Posted by MashedPotatoes View Post
    my sister brings the drama pretty much every year. last night she got drunk and knocked over the xmas tree, it was actually pretty classic.
    thats awesome. post pics please!

    So me and the Mrs went over to the in-laws christmas morning. Could sense the tension as soon as we arrived. We served up some breakfast and my mother in law corners the wife in the kitchen bitching about the offensive change of plans and how we wouldn't be there all day and have the ham dinner we her side of the family. My father in law, god bless him, tried to diffuse the situation, tells them to join us in eating breakfast, the issue is moot as its already been decided, stop beating a dead horse, etc. Then she comes to the living room and starts to cry and rips me a new ass saying I should be man enough to apologize to her for ruining her Christmas by denying her our company for the day and how when you make plans you must follow through w/ them. It was pretty bad and in those moments I could hardly believe it was happening - on the 1st Christmas I was in the family officially she did this! Obviously she was only concerned about hostessing the event, spending time w/ her late 20s kids, and could care less about me & the wifey seeing my family on the holiday. I apologized about 6 times and we got through the present opening. It like, let it fucking go - be cool, enjoy the time we have around the holidays, dont ruin it w/ your selfishness. The holiday was just a war of the mother in laws wills. Grandma whos 84 y.o. on that branch of the family is similar, sometime at gatherings and celebrations where the focus is on other family members she will wear a neck brace so that everyone pays attention to her. I love my wife but I have to make a concerted effort to train and break her of these personality traits before they set in. Luckily dealing with shit like this is such a huge pain in the ass that its easy to reflect and treat each other better than her female family members treat all of us at times. My father in laws summed it up best @ the very beginning of Christmas morning. First thing he says to me - "Luke, do two dinners, i did it for 20 yrs, its a pain, but do two dinners." He knew the shitstorm in our immediate future. I dont know how the fuck he has put up with the mother in law's BS for the last 30 yrs! I need to have some good bonding talks over a few beers w/ him. All this being stated I am hosting Thanksgiving @ my house in 2011. The whole family can come over and have a good time or they can fuck off. @ least it will be more on my terms. I hope this is a good decision. Didnt even ski over this 4 day weekend, but I am lusting after the Keepers leaning in the corner of my living room. During all of the drama I could think of my new skis and feel happy. And to be fair, once we got home last night after my side's dry gathering we drank a liter of Crown w/ my brother in law and his GF till 3am playing drinking Uno, Jenga, and Yatzee and taking Sake shot-ski shots. Then today my wife's cousin came over w/ some gifts - a new glass piece and reefer for us. In the end it was a Merry Christmas!
    Last edited by TransplantedFromRMNP; 12-27-2010 at 12:04 AM. Reason: added some good shit
    stay outta my line

  8. #58
    Join Date
    Apr 2008
    Location
    Denver
    Posts
    1,251

    learn from others' mistakes

    Quote Originally Posted by Like a Boss View Post
    I've just decided I will eventually marry a Jewish girl. Because of this thread.
    good thought!

    FKNA
    200th post!!!!!!
    stay outta my line

  9. #59
    Join Date
    Sep 2009
    Location
    not close enough
    Posts
    2,491
    Quote Originally Posted by TransplantedFromRMNP View Post
    And to be fair, once we got home last night after my side's dry gathering we drank a liter of Crown w/ my brother in law and his GF till 3am playing drinking Uno, Jenga, and Yatzee and taking Sake shot-ski shots. Then today my wife's cousin came over w/ some gifts - a new glass piece and reefer for us. In the end it was a Merry Christmas!
    All is well that ends well.
    My dreaded time is pretty much over, everyone disperses in the morning. My brother in-law's family was with us, all hispanic, and while playing mexican domino's tonight I dropped a huge F-bomb (literally, just the F, not the whole word) jokingly of course toward my own sister, and in retaliation my bro-in-laws mother got up and made me a little snack. She secretly poured some "Dave's Insanity" Hot Sauce on these puffed corn chips. It looked like a traditional mexican snack topped with this salsa she home-makes, which she told me it was, so I dig in. Into my 2nd chip, I realize what she's done and am at the sink spitting and hacking and pouring water over my tongue trying to clean off any remnant of this god forsaking devil juice. This shit is so fucking hot it would pucker satan's own asshole. So I'm burning, coughing, and sweating up a storm for the next hour being laughed at by the whole table waiting of the fire in my mouth to stop. It was some cruel, cruel treatment but I am told that was my initiation. This happened 2.5 hours ago and it still tastes like burning.

    I'm just trying to devise the perfect plan of payback...

  10. #60
    Join Date
    Feb 2010
    Location
    Portland by way of Bozeman
    Posts
    4,279
    Man, I have it great! Met the fam in Sun Valley. Brother and I checked out the mountain on Christmas Eve. Drinking ensued that night.

    Spent Christmas Day with the whole family skiing together for the first time in decades. I even had the opportunity to teach my sister to ski again. Spent that night with an excellent bottle of wine and a great dinner at the house we rented.

    Couldn't have it much better, really.

  11. #61
    Join Date
    Dec 2005
    Location
    Denver, CO
    Posts
    4,321
    Quote Originally Posted by Bobcat Sig View Post
    Man, I have it great! Met the fam in Sun Valley. Brother and I checked out the mountain on Christmas Eve. Drinking ensued that night.

    Spent Christmas Day with the whole family skiing together for the first time in decades. I even had the opportunity to teach my sister to ski again. Spent that night with an excellent bottle of wine and a great dinner at the house we rented.

    Couldn't have it much better, really.
    Did you read the title of this thread? It's for commiserating not rubbing our faces in it!!!!

    The only positives about having my entire in-law clan descend upon my house was the 2 cases of session lager, the bottle of glenlivet 15 yr and a very funny brother in-law.

    6 trips to the airport for me, but I'm done with this holiday. Now back to my regularly scheduled mayhem.

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