Shane McConkey; A Matter of Perspective

[TAHOEBRU]

I was at the Granite Chief ski shops demo day on Saturday and on my way from the shop to Red Dog with a new ski to try when I heard a guy coming up from behind talking to his old lady.

He said: "they're having a memorial for that guy that died this afternoon..." (even though the memorial was actually Sunday afternoon, but that isn't the point)

His bitch said: "who are you talking about...?"

The guy replied: "that jackass that killed himself parachuting off a cliff"

I was blown away!

I looked at the guy (late 30's, early 40's) and he's carrying a snowboard, wearing jeans and an older Columbia jacket, no hat and aviator sunglasses and his snatch is three feet behind him...

I had the Chili Peppers running in my helmet, so I may not have heard what I thought I did, so I looked at the guy and said: "What did you just say?"

The guy replies: "I said that that guy that killed himself was a jackass; he had a wife and 3 1/2 year old kid!"

I was all: "Whoa, no way!" "First of all, Shane DID NOT KILL HIMSELF! He died in an accident doing one of the things that he loved!"

The kook replied: "I'm just saying that what he did was irresponsible since he has a wife and a little girl..."

I stopped and said: "Dude, do you have any kids?" to which he replied: "yeah..."

I looked at him and said: "Oh my god! You have kids and you're out here snowboarding?!? And without a helmet? According to your logic, you're being an irresponsible parent too, yeah?!?"

He goes: "I'm not risking my life"

I said: "Yeah. You are. You could be just as likely to die on the mountain today as any other day. What we do out here is risky and there's no guarantee that you're not going to hit a tree, lift tower, be taken out by some idiot or have a stroke! By your line of thinking, you should crawl into a padded cave and not expose yourself to any danger! And I'm sure that since you have kids that you never drive fast, obey all traffic laws and only drive when no other cars are on the road, yes?"

The kook was pretty much incredulous, but goes: "who are you?"

All I could say was, "bro, I'm just saying that you have the right to your own point of view, no matter how fucked-up it is, but DON'T come into a dead mans house (Squaw Valley), spout your lame opinions and NOT expect to get slammed down when you're talking shit within earshot of anyone that understands and cares about Shane, or any other person out there pursuing their passion! Sherry knew what she was getting into when she married Shane and had a kid with him and fully supported his lifestyle and his chosen profession. Not only did Shane die doing what he loved, but he died doing the thing that allowed him to support his family very comfortably! Let me ask YOU, do you enjoy your work?"

The guy thought about it for a moment and replied: "well; yeah..."

I said: "Ok, good. Now, if you died sitting behind your desk at work, would your friends, family and the community around you say that you died doing what you LOVED?"

I could see I had made my point by then, and the only thing the gaper could say was: "it's all a matter of perspective and I just don't have any respect for someone that goes out and purposely risks their life when they have others to think about..."

I shook my head, cranked the music in my helmet, looked at the guy and said: "Dude...you're a fucking idiot"

As a side note, Shane's memorial was awesome yesterday! Tons of people, some tears, some laughs but much love! JT Holmes was especially appreciated and his humor and kind words did a lot to sooth everyones mood.
As a strict non-christian, I thought it was cool that Shane's fervent athiest attitude was respected and that only a few mentions of "god" or "fate" crept in (and the speakers apologized for the reference).
Squaw honoring Shane with the seven bomb blast salute at the end was really nice and I can't wait to find out what they decide to name after him on the mountain. I vote Patrol Chute.

Thanks Shane! WE LOVE AND MISS YOU!!!

[Jim S]

Ignorance.

Shane was methodical, precise, and calculating. Accidents and tragedies will happen.

The analogy I make to people like that: what Shane did with ski Base jumping is like open heart or brain surgery: well planned, methodical, and for the most part safe. Yet once in a while a tragedy will occur.



(With so many Shane threads TGR might make a Shane subforum.)

[drop22]

You can't fix stupid. It sucks when people that are that ignorant open their mouths. People leave their brains at home when they go on vacation...seemed like that douche didn't have a brain.

Gotta tray to stay positive at all times, even though it may be super frustrating sometimes.

Thanks for telling joey-bag-o-donuts to shut up though!

[filthyfrenchbum]

Hopefully the guy you talked to at least thought about it a little more afterwards

Unfortunately I just missed the Q&A session, but there are Ingrid Backstrom, Eric Pehota, and Miles Daisher's perspectives.

http://www.theglobeandmail.com/servl...lComment/home/

[JD May]

People with insecurities often betray them by looking down upon those who are different from them and who they don't understand. It's easier to just think of oneself as superior, small-minded as that rightly seems. Lifestyle choices are no different in this respect... this came out in a big way earlier in the year here with the "skiing out of bounds" debate (I use the term debate loosely).

Then there are also the amateur shock-jocks who get off on getting a rise out of people by any means possible, including disrespecting the much-respected and recently deceased. Ignoring them is the best option available, rather than playing their game.

Both groups of people have legitimate psychological deficiencies and should be pitied for it, satisfying as it may be to yell at them instead.

[beaterdit]

Props for keeping a cool head man, Must have been hard not to just cold-cock him on the spot.

Doesn't sound like there's any hope for that guy. I feel sorry for his wife and kids.

[powdork]

maybe he got to see the memorial. perhaps that would have opened his eyes.

[shm4]

Everyone does have a dif. perspective as your title states, it's what makes the world so interesting.

[oftpiste]

Too many people comment to the effect that because he did what he did he didn't love his family. What a crock. I talked at length over the weekend with someone who know the family well, and there wasn't a doubt in his mind that Shane was completed devoted to them as well as his pursuits of adventure, and pointed out that his sense of adventure and risk taking was one of many things that his wife adored about him.

[Kied]

Unfortunately there are lots of idiots in the world. Have to shake my head almost daily.

[samthaman]

I'd like to play devils advocate here for a second.

I agree with most of you that shane simply lived a life with more risk to manage, and that looking down on his life is rather small minded. He was trying to do a dangerous thing safely, and ultimately a gear malfunction was his demise, not human error. However, there is something that seems yet to be discussed.

Speak up if you think this is too soon, but the benefit threads have gotten me thinking. My talking point is this: at what point does your responsibility to your family trump your desire to have fun or otherwise live the life you want to live? The average working stiff buys life insurance because he (or she) is worried that if they die unexpectedly they will leave their family high and dry financially and feel obligated to avoid that situation. I'm not sure what financial situation McConkeys family is in now, or Coomb's for that matter, and I'd rather not get into it. It's a question that should be answered within the family, and I'm sure those families have discussed it ad naseaum and I wouldn't feel right second guessing it.

What I would like to discuss is why everyone seems to celebrate the uncompromising and dangerous (always a relative, and loaded term) lifestyle without addressing paternal responsibility at all.

This turned into a very rambling post, which was not my intention, but as a younger, dependent free, risk taker, it struck me as odd that no one had addressed this issue (or maybe they have and someone will "search, jong" me). I've always felt that if i were to start a family I would scale back the risk taking.

[GeezerSteve]

Good thoughts and valid questions, Sam. Thanks for posting such lucid thoughts at the risk of getting flamed.

[oftpiste]

I've always felt that if i were to start a family I would scale back the risk taking.

When all of that occurs, check back in with us. The reality of parenthood is very different than you think it will be on innumerable levels.

Not to mention that fact that it was his living and how he provided for his family. They loved that about him - and probably always will - according to my conversation with his friend. I would speculate that he and his wife talked about all of this and that they both were quite aware of the potential consequences if something bad happened.

The life insurance question is interesting. I wonder if Shane, Doug and others in highly risky trades are even able to buy life insurance at anything other than unmanageable premiums?

As for the benefits and funds being donated, I doubt they're as much about the family's need for money as they are about showing them that Shane was loved and appreciated by others which might be some comfort to their grief.

[summit]

interesting convo... tnx for posting it

[Hutch]

at what point does your responsibility to your family trump your desire to have fun or otherwise live the life you want to live?

It's a personal decision.

[samthaman]

When all of that occurs, check back in with us. The reality of parenthood is very different than you think it will be on innumerable levels.


Not to mention that fact that it was his living and how he provided for his family. They loved that about him - and probably always will - according to my conversation with his friend. I would speculate that he and his wife talked about all of this and that they both were quite aware of the potential consequences if something bad happened.

The life insurance question is interesting. I wonder if Shane, Doug and others in highly risky trades are even able to buy life insurance at anything other than unmanageable premiums?

As for the benefits and funds being donated, I doubt they're as much about the family's need for money as they are about showing them that Shane was loved and appreciated by others which might be some comfort to their grief.

you're right about the parenting issue, I don't know and can only speculate. If you have some parental insight to contribute regarding feelings of obligation to your family, please share them, I'd be interested to hear your thoughts and feelings on the matter.

Again, I only cited his case as the start of a separate discussion. I want to stress that I don't mean to second guess any of his choices, as they were his to make, and only for his family and close friends to question.

With regards to life insurance, I believe i read in one of the other threads that it was impossible for him to get it due to the sports he participated in.

I brought up the benefits funds because they seemed to be aimed at his family with financial relief as the goal. If they were simply to show support, and are not needed, why not donate them to a charity he may have liked or directly to someone who may more desperately need assistance (and there are many in this country). If they are needed, by all means lets help his family out, but lets also consider my original question.

thanks for not flaming me. Its pretty tough to come at a discussion like this without inflaming some deeply held feelings. I'd doing my best to be as delicate as possible about this.

EDIT: i think i came across as kind of snippy here. not my intention.

[PuderLuder]

First off, TAHOEBRU, you are a douche and if you were to butt into a private conversation I was having with my wife I'd punch you in the face.

Second, I agree with lots posted here about the families of these athletes accepting the risks that come along with their profession. So if they accept it why don't the rest of you? If shane was okay to leave his wife a widow and his child fatherless for the thrill of skiing off cliffs that's their problem, and if the original gaper in this post thinks that is a stupid thing to do what's wrong with that?

[Danno]

It's a personal decision.

Of course it is, but it's also a personal decision to not feel sympathy for the parent of a small child who died base jumping with skis and a wing suit on.

I'm not saying this is my view, but it seems to be the view of the person described in the first post, and it seems a fairly legitimate viewpoint. It was a personal decision that Shane and his family made, for whatever reasons they decided to make it. It is a personal decision to decide to donate to Shane's family because they are in dire financial straights (don't know if that is true, just basing it on what is written here). But similarly, it is a personal decision not to donate, or not to approve.

And like it or not, we do get to judge the actions of others, we do it all the time. And we don't all have to feel the same way about a particular person or act. I mean, look at the OP, he overheard a conversation between 2 people and felt strongly enough that their judgment was wrong and his was right that he interjected. We all judge, don't be surprised when someone's judgment -- their personal decision -- is different.

[OSECS]

if the original gaper in this post thinks that is a stupid thing to do what's wrong with that?

It's wrong because we're supposed to have the exact same thoughts and philosophies as everyone around us, lockstepping our way to conformity, and if we don't we're a doucheabag, who should be punched in the face by a total stranger. Damn, don't you know anything ??

[oftpiste]

Sam, I have lots of thoughts about parenting, obligations, etc. but it's unnecessary to spout them and as was recently mentioned, they're specific to me and my circumstances. Shane's were too, and to second guess them - IMO - is a mistake. I also think that to presume this issue was not at some level a struggle for the entire family is a mistake. His circumstances, decisions etc. were his alone, and we can't possibly know what they went through addressing them. What has been made abundantly clear though, is that he loved them a lot, and they him, and that's the important stuff. Of course it would be better if he were still with them, but had he not been who he was he might not have been with them in the first place.

I'm sure any thoughtful people have reflected on your questions as well, and you've presented them compassionately.

[eldereldo]

I wonder if Shane and his family really looked at the risk of what he was doing, or more talked about how that was his lifestyle, and giving that up would make a different, and not as satisfied person? As far as I can find, Base jumping is the riskiest sport you can participate in, and not by a small margin, but a huge one, something like a 1 in 2300 jumps. But that still is far lower than your risk of dying from heart disease. Of course, your likely to die from heart disease at a lot older age than base jumping.

In any case, if you want to go about setting 'right' everyones opinion of what Shane was doing, your going to be a very busy person as I'll bet most of the people who read about his death willl have exactly the same attitude as the guy you came down so hard on.

[GeezerSteve]

Sam is neither "second guessing" nor trying to "set right everyone's opinion." He is posing a valid question about weighing risk against obligations owed to others.

[Danno]

Sam is neither "second guessing" nor trying to "set right everyone's opinion." He is posing a valid question about weighing risk against obligations owed to others.

I think that reference was to the OP, not Sam, at least that is how I read it.

[Imz]

Living the adventure lifestyle- simply spending that much time in the mountains- I'd think one would have to acknowledge the inherent risk... that there was always the possibility of something happening.

I don't think should stop them from living their chosen lives, but I'd want to know I'd set up some security for my family... kinda sad that it all happens after a tragedy.

Seems like Red Bull & the equipment manufacturers could set up some sort of program where if any of their athletes are injured, the families are taken care of, or college is paid for the kids, or something...

Like a group 401k/ insurance program.

[BadSki]

Well, life and my experience tell me that you don't change much after you have kids. Women change because it is in their nature to take care about kids and us. We, guys, had always had to go hunting after our kids were born, did'n't we? So the instinct to back off is just not very natural

You can be very calculated of course and decide to ski 30% slower on a powder day, not jump off cliffs, be more careful in the park and so on...but if you love skiing the way most of us do, good luck but i don't think you will resist. You will do everything to limit the risk but you will not give up doing the things that challenge you at your personal limits. Because it is just impossible doing things halfway if you love doing them.

Would you go off piste skiing when the avi hazard is 2? I did and ended up in a class 3 avalanche in a relatively safe spot. I was with a friend, experienced guide. I limited the risks but some people still said I am not responsible as a father of two at that time. It is all relative. Shane did 700 base jumps, he knew what he was doing.

I am now 40, I have 3 kids and considered being a great father. I had 4 serious injuries. I am just doing rehab after season ending injury and surgery, working hard and my biggest motivation is to return to skiing next season.

As someone said those are personal decisions.

I have a different problem related to risk management. 2 years ago Shane and TJ were looking for some old tyrolia bindings they use for ski base jumping. They used the same bindings one day before the fatal one. TJ had a problem with them and he fell. On the last day they could have used different bindings (marker) but we do not know for sure. Shane did ski base jumping for himself and for us but also for the sponsors. I was amazed by the fact that such a marketing valuable athlete he was, he had to look for old bindings on the TGR forum. I was amazed that Red Bull, such a profitable company, could not secure him with proper equipment.

I dont want to throw the stone at anybody but it's just weird people like that do not enjoy full support from their sponsors. Pioneers lives have never been easy.