Thread: The Village = Biggest Piece of Shit Movie ever

I don't know about you guys, but sharks are right up there with unicorns on my kick-ass list.

Originally posted by FNG
I don't know about you guys, but sharks are right up there with unicorns on my kick-ass list.

http://www.openwatermovie.com

Now this is what I wanna see next

They must have saved a bunch on set design. Inspired.

"OH GOD, SOMETHING'S RUBBING AGAINST MY FOOT!"

http://www.tetongravity.com/usergall..._18-random.jpg

s'alright. It won't bite.

Originally posted by FNG
Oh, and that bit about the aliens dying from water was almost as much of a copout as having it announced over the radio.

Everyone thinks the aliens died because they got doused with regular tap water...this isn't true. They died when they were doused with HOLY water. The father was a reverend, naturally making it a religious family. Remember when mel gibson was telling Bo (his daughter) that when she was born all the nurses in the hospital gasped at her beauty, saying they had never seen a baby so beautiful before? They said she looked like an angel. Remember how she said all the glasses of water were contaminated? It's because it was holy water.

There are other signs of this too...remember the radio broadcast at the end where they said people in small cities in the middle east, aka the holy land, had found a primitive method for killing the aliens...?

Now this looks like a cool flick.

Originally posted by Punani
http://www.openwatermovie.com

Now this is what I wanna see next

It does look like it could be good. I wonder why they didn't just swim to shore? How far out could they possibly be? I guess I'll just have to see the movie.

A couple interesting things about the movie from imdb.com:
"Two yuppies decide to go to the Bahamas instead of skiing. "


"MPAA: Rated R for language and some nudity."

Sounds good!

Originally posted by dipstik
Everyone thinks the aliens died because they got doused with regular tap water...this isn't true. They died when they were doused with HOLY water. The father was a reverend, naturally making it a religious family. Remember when mel gibson was telling Bo (his daughter) that when she was born all the nurses in the hospital gasped at her beauty, saying they had never seen a baby so beautiful before? They said she looked like an angel. Remember how she said all the glasses of water were contaminated? It's because it was holy water.

There are other signs of this too...remember the radio broadcast at the end where they said people in small cities in the middle east, aka the holy land, had found a primitive method for killing the aliens...?

"If your dick stretched as far as that story, you'd be a stud."

HORSE SHIT

Also, holy water is a Catholic thing, not an Islam thing.
If your story was right, the radio would have said the victory started in the Vatican.
Lame attempt to make lame excuse for a lame copout in a lame movie. You suck. "Holy Water" Fer Christsakes! Ya. Who knew the aliens were just a bunch of vampires from space. Where is Buffy when you really need her?

Originally posted by DJSapp

Unbreakable (2000) (Didn't see it, don't remember anything about it)

Sixth Sense, The (1999) (Heard it was good, but I saw the ending first. Never felt motivated to see it)

Unbreakable was like one long trailer for another movie.

Six Sense was ruined by that simply dre-ad-ful Hayey Jo Osmond (is he Donnie's son or something) and by being a one trick movie.

Osment acts like he's not had a good dump for ages. "Ayyy cannnn seeee dud peypul". Simply awful. Playing a retarded android was brilliant casting by Spielberg.

N.Might.Sharlatan is very very overrated. Pseudo intellectual claptrap passing for art. He's the Micheal Cimino of the 21st Century.

I say he jumped the shark once you saw the aliens in Signs (but then I haven't seen The Village).

Would've been so much more interesting if it hadn't gone that route.

Originally posted by davidof
Pseudo intellectual claptrap passing for art.

And your definition of art is?

I stand by Reloaded as well. That flick was crazy. The review was for Reloaded.

Here's what happens...If Reloaded came out before the first Matrix and that was the first thing that anyone had seen of that nature it would've been as heavily celebrated as the first movie. But once you've done something so unique, original, and everyone has been awed (the same M night and 6th sense) and you've got a hugely hyped movie coming out and everybody is basing the greatnes on past achievements you've almost got nowhere to go but down. When this movie is compared to most of the other tripe that hollywood spews or other films with comparable stars "dude where's my car" there is no comparison.

And I would still relate this flick to the mosquito coast. Maybe it's premature if you haven't seen it.

I'm sure this movie is ruined for everyone who has yet to see it now. I know that after I read what gincognito thought of Mystic River (hated the music in the scenes etc) and I went to see it. I thought the exact same thing and I hated Mystic River. I'm a huge Penn, Eastwood, Fishburne fan as well.

Originally posted by davidof

N.Might.Sharlatan is very very overrated. Pseudo intellectual claptrap passing for art. He's the Micheal Cimino of the 21st Century.

Cologne man, by pseudo intellectual do you mean passing off someone elses thoughts on the movie as your own?

http://ae.twincities.com/entertainme...iewId=15709&1c

Have you seen the film? I hate when people comment on things they have yet to even see and form their own opinions on.

Originally posted by Punani
I hated it because it didn't have Arnold blowing shit up in it.

Originally posted by The AD
It does look like it could be good. I wonder why they didn't just swim to shore? How far out could they possibly be? I guess I'll just have to see the movie.

The thing is, if you popped up from underwater, and only saw water in every direction, which way is the shore? You could randomly pick a direction, but how far would you swim before you decided you might be going the wrong direction? And how would you know your direction wasn't being affected by currents? Even if you pulled the Magnum P.I. thing and just tread water until someone found you, how do you know you're not being pulled by current? "How far out are they?" Depends on what they're diving on, but there's really no limit to how far out they could be.


And now to the main topic:

I have to admit that this thread really got me worked up. Personally, I think M. Night Shyamalan is a name that marketing gurus have discovered can be sold solely on the basis of "The Sixth Sense." Prediction: future M. Night Shyamalan movies will decrease in ticket sales.

I've seen "The Sixth Sense" a few times and I thought it was pretty well done, but consider how good that film would have been with lead actors other than Haley Joel Osment and Bruce Willis. IMO, those two played a significant role in making that movie as good as it was.

I saw "Signs" once, and I thought it was pretty good.......until the last fifteen minutes. WTF? I wanted (and still want) to buy every copy of that disaster and burn them. Here's the synopsis of my viewing experience (burned permenantly into my brain):

- Noises outside = "Hmmm."
- The foot disappearing into the field = "Creepy. Well done, MNS."
- The video footage on TV = "Even creepier. Felt real. Are those goosebumps on my arm?"
- One dark-skinned guy in the entire cafe. The family leers at him = "Are they racist?"
- M. Night Shyamalan's story about Gibson's wife = "Oh, they're not racist. Wait. Why did MNS cast himself? What a shitty actor."
- The alien fingers under the door = "Kind of startling."
- They hide in the basement = "Something crazy better happen now. I'm waiting for a good twist."
- News on the radio that the aliens have left. It's safe to come out now = "What a letdown. All that, and we scared them off with squirtguns? Uh, OK. Something REALLY crazy better happen now."
- There's one left, and he's got the son = "Shyamalan, you fackin' shithead. Why did you show us the alien? You ruined everything about your own movie that made it cool."

Moron. Like playing Hide-and-seek and just jumping out of the bushes and giving up. He ruined the whole damn movie by showing the alien. I know, we saw it before on the TV, but we all know that seeing something on TV and seeing it in person are two completely separate things - even if it is in a movie. One undeniable FACT about ALL good thrillers - they leave something to the imagination. The best books, movies, and even campfire tales ALL leave something to the viewer/reader/listener's imagination. That's what makes them great. Shyamalan blew it when it came to "Signs," and how he could NOT have known that he was blowing it defies logic.

He is NOT the next Hitchcock, and to even compare the two makes me ill. There are one or two Hitchcock movies that are widely regarded as average - the rest are great. M. Night Shyamalan has made one film that a large group of people have hailed as great. He has a loooooonnnnnngggg way to go, and I don't think he'll ever get there or even come close.

As far as what MD9 said about the social commentary of his films - I see it. I don't want to see it, but I see it. Why he insists on rapping social commentary up in the Thriller genre, I don't know. It doesn't work. Thrill me, or comment on the human condition through a story, but don't try to do both.

And for chrissakes, DON'T SHOW THE ALIEN!!! I can picture it all by myslef thanks, and you shoving the alien in my face just ruins the picture I had in my head. Fackin' moron. And quit putting your unable-to-act ass in the movie. Who taught that guy how to make films?

ahhh..errr dude, that was a pretty long post for you.

Originally posted by SponsoredByDuctTape
The thing is, if you popped up from underwater, and only saw water in every direction, which way is the shore? You could randomly pick a direction, but how far would you swim before you decided you might be going the wrong direction? And how would you know your direction wasn't being affected by currents? Even if you pulled the Magnum P.I. thing and just tread water until someone found you, how do you know you're not being pulled by current? "How far out are they?" Depends on what they're diving on, but there's really no limit to how far out they could be.

[reality]You know what the current was from your dive. You should know where you are before you dive. You (should) have your dive compass. The fuckhead dive operator shouldn't have left you behind either. [/reality][hollywood] STRANDED WAY THE FUCK AWAY! SHARKS! TICKET SALES! WEEEEEEE![/hollywood]

He is NOT the next Hitchcock, and to even compare the two makes me ill. There are one or two Hitchcock movies that are widely regarded as average - the rest are great. M. Night Shyamalan has made one film that a large group of people have hailed as great. He has a loooooonnnnnngggg way to go, and I don't think he'll ever get there or even come close.

Thank you!

I want Barry Mendel's money (producer of all M. Night's movies). Thank you in advance.

Originally posted by SponsoredByDuctTape
As far as what MD9 said about the social commentary of his films - I see it. I don't want to see it, but I see it. Why he insists on rapping social commentary up in the Thriller genre, I don't know. It doesn't work. Thrill me, or comment on the human condition through a story, but don't try to do both.

I was talking solely about his current movie the Village with regard to Social Commentary.

I do like a large portion of your take on Signs though. I will say that most things from the past that have become classics have a deeper meaning and purpose than the proverbial monster, fuzzy rabbits and the like. I did some thinking when I left this movie and I liked that.

I didn't realize this was the sick sense guy when I watched it, but I liked the movie. Thinking about what it must have taken for these people to choose this living and what it would take to plan and pull it off was more entertaining to me than seeing someone's head chewed off by a monster. I'll be in line though for Alien Vs. Preditor and the new Chucky movie though. I still ove that shit. Bride of Chucky was genius.

edit - In short, I guess I'm in the same boat as MD9

Originally posted by SummitCo 1776
[reality]You know what the current was from your dive. You should know where you are before you dive. You (should) have your dive compass. The fuckhead dive operator shouldn't have left you behind either. [/reality][hollywood] STRANDED WAY THE FUCK AWAY! SHARKS! TICKET SALES! WEEEEEEE![/hollywood]

you try swimming 10 miles to shore.

Originally posted by dipstik
you try swimming 10 miles to shore.

It wouldn't be that bad. It would take a while, but it's better than sitting in the middle of the ocean. You've got plenty of buoyancy from your scuba gear (especially after you dump your weight belt) AND you're wearing fins.

MD9, take Philosophy 1001 and then tell me that the plot of the matrix is even remotely original. it deals with the same questions posed by my community college prof two years ago. regardless of anything else, the matrix was not groudbraking and m.night.papashmeertaint's movies are as predictable as mike tyson's album sales.

FNG, It's new to a movie and the way the subject matter was handled. Not many kids are going to sit through a standard philosophy flick. How many new and innovative camera tricks came from this movie? Numerous facets of the movie were groundbreaking. Aspects of that visual style are constantly being copied. "Bullet time" graphics are now in all sorts of things. The jump into the air, pause pan through 12 other cameras is now everywhere. The sound effects, the streaming numbers. I remember the year it came out those star wars clowns were expected to take all the visual effects awards until this movie stepped in and kicked ass. I'm glad you took a philosophy class in college, but it looks like you're forgeting a lot of the things that made this movie groundbreaking. Things they came up with are everywhere now.

Regarding the Open Water topic...

I know this is just "based" on a true event (which in hollywood terms means squat) but I am pretty sure that people have been lost/abandoned on dive trips before. Currents are unpredicatable and bizarre. Why is it so unbelievable that the scenario would happen? "Just swim to shore"...like, don't you think they would have if they could have?

When we honeymooned in Mexico, several dive operators told us about "lost divers" who were never seen again. Needless to say, we stayed right by the boat!

Sprite