Thread: The Village = Biggest Piece of Shit Movie ever

Yeah, Music,Books,Movies, but I figure I'd put it here too.

If I prevent just one other person from wasting their $10 then my work is done.

This was fucking robbery.


(Too late edit)
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.SPOILERS!!!!

Let me guess, you knew the ending 1/2 hour into the movie just like the rest of M.Night.Shamalamadingdong's movies?

I'd normally be really pissed that you gave away the ending, but in this case, I agree. That does sound like a stupid movie. Thanks for saving me the $7.50(sorry to hear you guys pay $10- are the movies better in San Fran? $2.50 scenery charge?)

Originally posted by FNG
M.Night.Shamalamadingdong's movies?

Signs sucked. Giraffe balls.

Aaaaand the above induced an explosion of weasel laughter. Thank you FNG.

Personally I thought the Village rocked the house. Potentially his best work yet. There are a lot of realy cool social themes in that flick. I really like the way he deals with them. One of few movies I've spent much time thinking about afterwards in quite awhile. Looking for parallels in the real world.

Besides that the dude can direct and a tell a story. The man's a genius. Beautiful flick.

Hmmmm, well lets take a look at what he's accomplished in his career...

The Village (Previews looked made it look like a shitty movie, was right)

Signs (2002) (OMGOMGOMG!!! Aliens! Oh, wait, this one sucked too)

Unbreakable (2000) (Didn't see it, don't remember anything about it)

Sixth Sense, The (1999) (Heard it was good, but I saw the ending first. Never felt motivated to see it)

Wide Awake (1998) (Has anyone seen this?)

Praying with Anger (1992) (?)

So now the real debate, has Dingdong jumped the shark?

Originally posted by DJSapp
Hmmmm, well lets take a look at what he's accomplished in his career...

The Village (Previews looked made it look like a shitty movie, was right)

Signs (2002) (OMGOMGOMG!!! Aliens! Oh, wait, this one sucked too)

Unbreakable (2000) (Didn't see it, don't remember anything about it)

Sixth Sense, The (1999) (Heard it was good, but I saw the ending first. Never felt motivated to see it)

All four of the above were written and directed by the man. That's an accomplishment. Each film is beautifully directed. "The next Hitchcock" claims by reviewers seem pretty accurate. 2 of those 4 are in the top 50 grossing movies of all time. And none of the flicks are cheesy pandering hollywood blockbuster style movies. I say the guy kicks ass and is a director who's flicks I will always go see.

Accomplishments indeed. You've seen 1 of his these last 4 flicks and you already got them all figured out. Way to go kid. Seems like an ingnorant place from where to judge.

Signs was okay, but left a bit to be desired. I always get the feeling that Gibson is shoving religion down our throats.

Sixth Sense was an incredible movie. The movie was better the second time around because you get to see what a great job he did keeping things in line and dropping subtle hints.

Unbreakable was kindy hokie. Decent movie, but the end was very hollywood, I thought.

I'll wait for The Village to pop up in P2P and check it out. I got some catching up to do though.

The only thing bullshit about the movie is the way it is billed. This is NOT a horror flick. You will NOT be scared. Now, if its billed as a drama then it is a decent flick. Went to it sat. night. Everyone I saw it with hated it, but only because they expected to be scared. I don't like horror movies anyway so I was pleasantly surprised by the flick.

Originally posted by meatdrink9
All four of the above were written and directed by the man. That's an accomplishment. Each film is beautifully directed. "The next Hitchcock" claims by reviewers seem pretty accurate. 2 of those 4 are in the top 50 grossing movies of all time. And none of the flicks are cheesy pandering hollywood blockbuster style movies. I say the guy kicks ass and is a director who's flicks I will always go see.

Accomplishments indeed. You've seen 1 of his these last 4 flicks and you already got them all figured out. Way to go kid. Seems like an ingnorant place from where to judge.

MD, you wouldn't know, but I usually hate these new horror/suspense films. It's not that I don't go watch them since my friends usually drag me along, they just don't do anything for me. A horror/suspense film has to be incredably well done to keep my attention. I did want to see 6th sense, everyone said it was great and I thought it would be good too, but my movie theater job at the time ruined it for me. I caught a few too many important bits while working and it ruined the film for me. Once I knew the plot and ending, I lost interest in seeing it. I agree that he doesn't pander to the hollywood style, and I also applaud him for that, but that doesn't mean that I like his movies.

(and for the love of god I can't remember what unbreakable was about or who was in it, so I don't want to speak good or ill about it)

saw it last night after wanting to see it since i first saw the trailers it was predictable but worht sitting through on the big screen for the way it captures the creepiness of EC woods in the fall. great sound editing, direction and feel, but fell way short on the scare factor (given the trailers as 1080rider had said), and the dialogue was almost as painful as in "Troy".

edit: new shit has come to light

Originally posted by DJSapp
blah blah blah

That's cool your reasons for not liking his stuff, but to bag on his accomplishments is straight-up retarded. Unless your Spielberg.

I agree that it wasn't a horror/suspense flick. It sounds like everybody who disliked it didn't even begin to get the movie. I'm not going to go into what it was about, but it's a pretty damn smart analogy of various social behaviors. Maybe we can post a giveaway thread and I can post the things I took from it. But I was impressed to say the least and think it's M. Nights most socially conscious work to date. I think that's respectable.

I just read the spoiler on www.themoviespoiler.com and it does sound pretty stupid. I don't think I could sit through that one.

Anyone seen "Open Water" yet? I'm terrified just watching the trailer. Seems like a 2 hour continuous adrenaline rush. Can't wait to see it!

Sprite

I thought signs was a good movie. Most people watched thinking it was supposed to be a horror movie where the aliens killed everyone, but if you watch it more carefully you'll realize it was a movie about a man reviving his faith in god, and about fate in general. The alien bit was just to help push it along. I guess most people were dissapointed with it because they didn't get to see the mass destruction of the earth and some giant battle between earth vs. aliens.

Originally posted by warthog
I'd normally be really pissed that you gave away the ending, but in this case, I agree. That does sound like a stupid movie. Thanks for saving me the $7.50(sorry to hear you guys pay $10- are the movies better in San Fran? $2.50 scenery charge?)

Yeah, they are way better. Unlimited popcorn and soda and every seat has a external catheter so you don't have to leave your seat to tinkle.

Originally posted by meatdrink9
It sounds like everybody who disliked it didn't even begin to get the movie.

Get what? That M Night Scamaman (notice his cameo as the Ranger's boss?) created hype for a "horror movie" where the main creature was a village retard who put on a Little Red Riding hood outfit, Freddie Krueger fingers, and Skeletor outfit all at once? Or do people actually find the "plot" cool: People living in a 21st century city experience tragedy, meet similar people then move away to establish their own isolated 19th century Amish type town and use scary monster stories to keep people from finding out the truth.


I'm a big fan of horror movies. If anyone's gonna see a movie expecting to see blood, get shitscared, and instead getting a 2 hour boo-fucking-hoo drama, they'd pretty pissed.

But hey man, whatever floats your boat

Sixth Sense was incredible.

Signs was underwhelming.

Unbreakable was very ordinary.

I will see the Village -- like most movies I see - on DVD later. Main thing is that I have seen all of his movies and will continue to see them. They beat the hell out of "Bounce" or "Gods and Generals" or other terrible movies.

The Hitchcock comparison though, that's laughable. Hitchcock kicks his ass. However, MNS is still relatively new and may eventually rival Hitchcock if he can produce a few more movies with the creative genius of sixth sense.

I guess the lack of booby girls and the inclusion of a plot destined this movie to fail in your eyes regardless. He's always marketed his movies slightly off as to not give away they're true intentions.

Think about the way religions or politicians approach a lot of what we get to see and perceive. Think about that with regard to the movie. I know in my life I've seen plenty of instances when some nutjob (william hurt in this movie, and the elders) thinks he knows better than those he has influence over and he lies to them rather than giving them the choice to form their own opinions. I can think of politicans lying to the public to get them to do what they think is right, but it's not honest and others may disagree with what the leader believes is right, but never get the correct info.

Imagine a religion. Say Joe Smith. William Hurt's character (not a bad man, but confused and wrong) thinks he's helping everyone by telling this lie to protect them and make their lives better. When he and the elders die their secret dies with them (other than someone needed to continue playing monster) all of those children raised in that in that environment grow up to belive everything they're told and live that way the rest of their life. In fear of a monster or tabboo or whatever. They never had a choice to to do otherwise. Hurt becomes a great man in history.

There were numerous brilliant plot points to make things work and continue to have the society work after the end of the film. I loved it. A very intelligent micro-case of good intentions gone wrong (atleast in my eyes).

Hell, the more I talk about the movie the more I love it. The people running from the real world to avoid death and tragedy. We see it can't be avoided. The one Elder's child dies when medicine that could've saved him was just outside the walls. They'd become completely dillusional. Kind-of reminds me of the Mosquito Coast and the search for a utopia. Both great flicks and studies on humanity.

Originally posted by meatdrink9
All four of the above were written and directed by the man. That's an accomplishment. Each film is beautifully directed... And none of the flicks are cheesy pandering hollywood blockbuster style movies. I say the guy kicks ass and is a director who's flicks I will always go see...

Ditto, even though Punani (and now, to a greater extent, MD9) "spoiled" it. My own fault for reading the thread, I guess.

If all you guys look for in a movie is carnage and boobies (not that there's anything wrong w/that) I'd recommend something other than MNS films.

So how'd you like "Riddick," SuPu?

Originally posted by meatdrink9
Hell, the more I talk about the movie the more I love it. The people running from the real world to avoid death and tragedy. We see it can't be avoided. The one Elder's child dies when medicine that could've saved him was just outside the walls. They'd become completely dillusional. Kind-of reminds me of the Mosquito Coast and the search for a utopia. Both great flicks and studies on humanity.

Hmmm...comparisons to "Mosquito coast" seem pre-mature, that was one of the most brilliant thinking flicks I've ever seen, right up there with "Mindwalk" both of which fell far short of the books they were based upon. Sixth Sense was sheer genius, worthy of the hitchcock comparison, but there has been no follow up to back the hype IMHO. The marketing of "Village" condemns it to ridicule as it sells out what the content didn't.

Chicago Sun-Times 1 star/4 … a colossal miscalculation, a movie based on a premise that cannot support it, a premise so transparent it would be laughable were the movie not so deadly solemn. more

Detroit Free Press 2 stars/4 The secret of "The Village" … is … embarrassingly silly and unconvincing … more

Entertainment Weekly B- … feels airless (and sometimes eye-rollingly solemn) …

New York Daily News 2 stars/4 … Shyamalan's weakest story, and its ending — whether or not you're surprised by it — is a genuine clinker. more

New York Post 2 stars/4 … too intent on delivering its liberal "message" to actually deliver the kinds of scares it promises in the terrific trailer. more

Slant Magazine 0 stars/4 … hands down the year's worst film. more

TV Guide 2 stars/5 … there's a twist, but it's a dumb "oh, please" twist and a cheat as well … more

USA Today 2½ stars/4 … disappoints. more

Variety N/A … a watchable film for awhile that unravels in a muddled last act likely to send many opening-weekend filmgoers home head-scratching and grumbling …

Originally posted by dipstik
I thought signs was a good movie. Most people watched thinking it was supposed to be a horror movie where the aliens killed everyone, but if you watch it more carefully you'll realize it was a movie about a man reviving his faith in god, and about fate in general. The alien bit was just to help push it along. I guess most people were dissapointed with it because they didn't get to see the mass destruction of the earth and some giant battle between earth vs. aliens.

no, people were upset because the movie had about as many plot twists as I-94. i sat in the theatre with three friends by ourselves and called out lines before the actors said them. "That looks like our house." - Little girl reading coloring book. Oh and the aliens, he's not the next speilberg if he can't depict an alien as something other than the cliche alien image we've had crammed down our throats for the past 50 years: green, oval eyed, big headed, skinny bodies...etc. Oh, and that bit about the aliens dying from water was almost as much of a copout as having it announced over the radio. He might as well have put it in the credits it was so downplayed. Reminds me of the ending in Sphere, "Oh, it was all a dream. Let's pretend it never happened." Give me a fucking break. If a then highschool kid can figure out the plot line of your movie hours in advance, there's something wrong with it. /rant

Originally posted by Dr. Gaper
Chicago Sun-Times 1 star/4 … a colossal miscalculation, a movie based on a premise that cannot support it, a premise so transparent it would be laughable were the movie not so deadly solemn. more

Detroit Free Press 2 stars/4 The secret of "The Village" … is … embarrassingly silly and unconvincing … more

Entertainment Weekly B- … feels airless (and sometimes eye-rollingly solemn) …

New York Daily News 2 stars/4 … Shyamalan's weakest story, and its ending — whether or not you're surprised by it — is a genuine clinker. more

New York Post 2 stars/4 … too intent on delivering its liberal "message" to actually deliver the kinds of scares it promises in the terrific trailer. more

Slant Magazine 0 stars/4 … hands down the year's worst film. more

TV Guide 2 stars/5 … there's a twist, but it's a dumb "oh, please" twist and a cheat as well … more

USA Today 2½ stars/4 … disappoints. more

Variety N/A … a watchable film for awhile that unravels in a muddled last act likely to send many opening-weekend filmgoers home head-scratching and grumbling …

In the light of this and MD9's "I Just saw Matrix Revolutions and It Rocked" thread, I'm gonna have to request that he quits movie reviewing forthwith and sticks to skiing, drawing and wearing bizarre robot clothing.

I saw Sixth Sense... so so... The Others was much better on that topic.
Unbreakable? Pretty decent. I liked that one.
Signs? SUCKED ASS! SUCKED MAJOR ASS!
The Village? SUCKAGE IN THE SAME WAY!
I'll let Maddox ('the coolest person on the internet') explain:

"'Signs' in four easy steps"

http://maddox.xmission.com/sgn1.gif
http://maddox.xmission.com/sgn2.gif
http://maddox.xmission.com/sgn3.gif
http://maddox.xmission.com/sgn4.gif

By Maddox
Another crappy movie getting rave reviews. Unbelievable. The best thing about this movie was the score at the beginning during the credits, and only because the composer, James Newton Howard, ripped off Shostakovich's Chamber Symphony Op. 110a (check it out, Shostakovich's work is much cooler and often plagiarized in Hollywood; for more on plagiarized sound tracks, see the score to "Psycho").

This movie wouldn't have been so bad if it actually went somewhere. It was like a porno with no money shot. One of those slow motion soft-core Showtime specials that start out as being mediocre detective melodrama, but you keep watching any way because it's starring Shannon Tweed and you know there's going to be a shower scene but you know it's going to suck because some dude inevitably comes in and starts man handling her and the camera man does nothing but zoom up on his ass. That's exactly what "Signs" is like: the camera man zooming up on some guy's ass for two hours.

Don't see "Signs."

people who saw "Signs" and loved it changed their minds after reading this review.

maddox@xmission.com

http://maddox.xmission.com/signs.html

That sums it up very well. It is the same flaw that all the reviews Roo listed point out.

Originally posted by snowsprite
Anyone seen "Open Water" yet? I'm terrified just watching the trailer. Seems like a 2 hour continuous adrenaline rush. Can't wait to see it!

Sprite

Ugh... I know that is gonna suck.