Thread: 2 free lift tickets to Kirkwood

I won a pair of lift tix at a Kirkwood bike race this summer. They need to be used before X-mas. I'd like to give these to any of the mags who've hooked me up with cheap gear or who've bought my stuff in the past; if not they're up for grabs to anybody. Post something entertaining. I'll wait 24 hours. You can make a few bucks donations to the ski patrol (at the top of chair 2) if you'd like.

This past Sat. night I was at a bar with friends. A buddy decided to walk 5 min. to get some smokes. I don't smoke but I said I'd join him for the walk. By the time we were half way there I felt a rumblin' in my bowels. Damn chicken salad wrap I had earlier was clucking at my sphincter. We got to the store, there were about 10 people waiting in line. I look around; no public bathroom. By the time we got to the counter I ask the girl cashier if I could use the toilet. She says no. I offer her $40 cash and show it to her. She still says no. I didn't care about the people in line behind me by this point. I'm clenching my ass cheeks so hard they felt like steel and run outside. We start to walk back and I tell my bud that I can't make it, he says "let's run!" I start to run and stop because you can't clench tight and run at the same time without looking like Pegleg Stu. I turn to him and say "I'm not going to make it." I turn and all i see is the town Library lawn in front of me. As I run like Pegleg Stu into the yard I'm pulling down my jeans a the same time. The pants didn't make it past my lower cheeks as full on projectile sludge shoots out of me. So there I am, loosing my bowels on the library lawn, staring at a trail of poo glisning in the moonlight on the frozen lawn and my friend laughing his ass off at me, pointing and heckling. I strip my pants off when I'm done, wipe with my boxers and thow them into the lawn. I get back to the bar, threaten my buddy his life if he tells the ladies we were with, do a final clean up and check for any exterior splattering in the bathroom. I got through the rest of the night without a hitch...

...God damn chicken salad wrap.

Gone to El Chupacabra.... although achtung's story was very entertaining.