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Thread: The Fortune Cookie Thread
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10-14-2003, 03:19 PM #1
The Book of Love
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The Fortune Cookie Thread
Ok, so this is the second time in as many weeks that I've gotten a fortune cookie reinforcing my decision to quit my job and go skiing this winter. The perfect reason if you ask me. I'll have to dig up last weeks, but here's today's:
"Travelling this year will bring your life into greater perspective."
So what fortune cookies have you gotten recently? Were they merely good pieces of general advice? Did they somehow eerily apply to some aspect of your life? Did you accidentally eat your fortune because you think you're the cookie monster? And what was your fortune like "...in bed?""I knew in an instant that the three dollars I had spent on wine would not go to waste."
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10-14-2003, 03:22 PM #2
A bitter little fruit
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Last edited by KQ; 10-14-2003 at 03:24 PM.
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10-14-2003, 03:23 PM #3
Registered User
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The last fortune cookie I got said
"you like chineese food"
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10-14-2003, 03:25 PM #4
Lackey
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Mine from the Famous ChinaTown Restraunt acroos the street today after a fine meal of sweet and sour shrimp, which I highly recommend, for a measly $6.75, was:
"You are rich in your soul"
So I got that going for me, which is nice
I just wish it was the same in my pockets.
Skiing, where my mind is even if my body isn't.
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10-14-2003, 03:25 PM #5
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This one is actually from last winter, but I still keep it in my wallet.
"Winter will rain success upon you."...in bed.
"Do you know what PBR stands for? Delicious."
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10-14-2003, 03:27 PM #6
nATer?
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Last week, I got probably the best fortune ever....
"It is impossible to please everybody. Please yourself first."
I have it laminated to my monitor now. It's funny watching people react to it."if the city is visibly one of humankind's greatest achievements, its uncontrolled evolution also can lead to desecration of both nature and the human spirit."
-- Melvin G. Marcus 1979
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10-14-2003, 03:27 PM #7
A bitter little fruit
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10-14-2003, 03:28 PM #8
Bring a Knife
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For a modest price, you can have fortune cookies with your own sayings made.
Think of the mental carnage you could wreak with those.
I think you can even have objects put in -- like an engagement ring.Balls Deep in the 'Ho
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10-14-2003, 03:28 PM #9
Voodoo Child
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"Help! I'm being held captive in a Chinese fortune cookie factory. Please call the police."
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10-14-2003, 03:29 PM #10
Lackey
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WTF?? Am I about to shit my pants?
Your alluring lovingness brings interpersonal communications that may anticipate cosmic intestinal fortitude.Skiing, where my mind is even if my body isn't.
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10-14-2003, 04:11 PM #11
I'm Back
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pinner -- an oldy but a goody
KQ - great link! but is it me or do these make zero sense?
daddy - you are def about to shit your pants, but, hey, did you really need a fortune cookie to tell you that??
13 - the engagement ring idea is tres fromage (my own pidgeon french for totally cheesy. seriously dood that is ridiculous. why not just get yourself a fortune cookie that says "um, no.")
my best fortune ever, which i have saved since the year 2000, said "sell your ideas - they are totally acceptable."
-b
PS havent sold one yet (tmk), but still believe they are totally acceptable.
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10-14-2003, 05:22 PM #12
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omg omg omg!!! the year 2000??? woooowww thats amazing! thats so totally nifty guys!Originally posted by britney
my best fortune ever, which i have saved since the year 2000, said "sell your ideas - they are totally acceptable."
-b
i mean jesuschrist thats almost 3 years!
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10-14-2003, 05:42 PM #13
Bring a Knife
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Now you know why I mentined it.Originally posted by britney
13 - the engagement ring idea is tres fromage (my own pidgeon french for totally cheesy. seriously dood that is ridiculous. why not just get yourself a fortune cookie that says "um, no.")
And I'm sure some sap actually did it -- the idea was printed in the company's pamphlet. They had to get it from someone.Balls Deep in the 'Ho
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10-14-2003, 06:32 PM #14
Permanent JONG
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Ever opened a fortune cookie to find no fortune?
Does that mean you have no future?
(This happened to my wife a few weeks ago. She's not dead yet, so I guess it doesn't mean she has no future)
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10-15-2003, 06:53 AM #15
Freckle contest winner
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You will be aroused by a sexy shampoo commercial.
and to recap a classic C.M. Burns moment:
Burns and Smithers are at a chinese restaurant, Burns is unable to open the fortune cookie and has Smithers do it for him. Burns sees the fortune:
Burns: ahhh...some form of communique......you will find love on Arbor day. Why, Smithers..that's today! We only have a few hours left.
Waiter: umm....sir, you didn't leave a tip.
Burns: ahhh...me no speakee chi-nee!
Burns sees a pretty girl and...
"Excuse me miss, would you accept a wooing by gentleman caller?"thats new hampshire as fuck
We ain't eager to be legal, so please leave me with the keys to your Jeep Eagle.
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10-15-2003, 07:36 AM #16
7k and out.
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