I killed a squirrel this morning and free chivas for one.

[drugged_monkey]

Chivas: Just a quick reminder! You and 1 guest are confirmed for the Chivas
Regal Scotch Tasting Denver event this Wednesday, May 26, 2004, 7:00PM
- 10:00PM at Magnolia Hotel - Magnolia Club, 818 17th Street, .
Festivities will begin promptly so please arrive on time. Proper
dress is requested.

The Mrs has to work. A co-worker of mine is a promotions girl for them at clubs on the weekends and she says it's a pretty good time.


The squirrel. They've been tearing the hell out of everything we put outside the house. We put out a birdhouse full of seed and they gnawed through the rope, causing it to fall and smash open so they could get to the seeds. Then we put out a nice rug and they chewed through it. They're gnawing away at the wood on the deck and just before the crackhouse party I put out two tiki torches. By the time the party rolled around they'd already destroyed the caps for both. They've also dug through my wife's flower pots and destroyed her flowers. So I decided to take some action. I went to the store and bought some pointed pellets. This morning I heard one on the deck. By the time I got the got the gun and headed outside he'd moved to the tree. I took one shot and hit him. He freaked. He jumped all weird and fell down to another branch. Then he tumbled down the tree. I felt like crap. I still do. I've been trying justify killing him, but it still sucks. They're just furry rats. They eat garbage out of the dumpsters all day, but I'm still too soft for killing much anything. Maybe I'll get over it and finish off the others or maybe I'll have to hire pest control to take care of it. Either way it sucked.

[xboat]

just think of it as population control, dude. they're tree rats - simple as that.

watch out for this species though, fackers fight back!

[iceman]

Whoa...one shot, one kill. That monkey's a badass!

[zion zig zag]

Clean it, boil it in water for about an hour, roll it in flour or cornmeal, and then deep fry for 5 minutes. Mmmm...tastes like chicken.

[drugged_monkey]

Anybody got any other squirrel removal suggestions? Maybe something less violent? Is there anyway I could just push a large red button from the safety and comfort of my bedroom?

Maybe I souldn't feel so bad about it, but watching something squirm and die is not cool.

[zion zig zag]

Buy one of those live traps, then catch and release.

[acostiga]

would a dog scare them away?

[drugged_monkey]

Originally posted by flykdog
Buy one of those live traps, then catch and release.

I like that idea. Then I can realease them into a concrete laiden barrel in the middle of a lake.

Seriously I hate the little bastards, but I hate killing them worse.

[drugged_monkey]

Originally posted by acostiga
would a dog scare them away?

Nah, most of my neighbors have dogs. The squirrels travel on the wires, fence tops, trees, etc. They rarely touch the ground.

[interloper]

Get a big ass cat. Maine Coon or a Manx. They'll take care of the tree rats.

[DougW]

Originally posted by flykdog
Buy one of those live traps, then catch and release.

We had a mouse problem in the old house. So wife decided to use a live trap to be more humane.

Well I checked the trap after a day and it looked like Texas chain saw massacre. Blood and guts every where in side it. Looked like mouse exploded or two got in there and tore each other apart. Since it was wife's idea " you might want to come here at look at Your trap" . Trap quickly got put in garbage.

[Viva]

Put up a pole with a roosting platform and maybe you can attract a a pair of falcons or other birds of prey to take up residence.

[Obstruction]

Oy, vey iz mir. I'm such a putz. I thought you shot a squirrel and were sitting shiva for it.

[snowsprite]

Monkey, you have to do what I did and go to the shelter & get yourself a large nasty tom-cat. I have two of these and they dominate our backyard.They accomplished this in only one year. Every other yard in the neighborhood has squirrels, chipmunks and birds. But ours is a total dead zone. Kinda eiree.

They get bored and go stalk in the neighbor's yards now, but aren't as successful because they have to work around the dog schedules.

It has to be a big male cat though. And if you can get one off a farm it's better than the shelter. They also do better with a friend, because they try to out-do each other.

Sprite

[TheDingleberry]

An owl should do the trick. They destroy most anything and I hear they are pretty easy to come by.

[interloper]

And if you can get one off a farm it's better than the shelter. They also do better with a friend, because they try to out-do each other. Barn Cats are the best hunters,and they work as a team just like the big cats.

[iceman]

Put out a bowl of beer. When they've passed out, shave them and dress them up in Barbie clothes. When they wake up they'll be so embarassed they'll just move.

[drugged_monkey]

Originally posted by iceman
Put out a bowl of beer. When they've passed out, shave them and dress them up in Barbie clothes. When they wake up they'll be so embarassed they'll just move.

I didn't want to mention this, but the reason I'm so angry is they did something similar to me.

I really don't want any pets. The neighbors have cat's but apparently they're worthless. These are pretty big squirrels too.

[Spicoli]

Originally posted by iceman
Put out a bowl of beer. When they've passed out, shave them and dress them up in Barbie clothes. When they wake up they'll be so embarassed they'll just move.

"A warm trickle of pee runs down Spicoli's leg"

[Aldo]

I'm sure a cat would help, but that's just another furry little problem you don't need.

The live traps are the way. How you choose to disperse them after that depends on your threshold for pain. My neighbor growing up used to dump the traps into a burlap bag and leave the bag at the exhaust pipe of his Vega. That Vega always ran a little fat, I think he tweaked the mixture for just this scenario. I'll never forget the visual of the bag jumping around as he started the car, then slowly nothing...

Anyway, if you're going to dump them somewhere live, make sure you go a couple miles or else they'll be back. Highway overpass? Homeless shelter? Summit County? Purina plant?

[3o3]

50 gallon drum of fox piss. Hose down the house and yard. You won't be able to breath, but those furry little rodents won't come near your place.

If that's not to your liking, I've heard that this works pretty well.

[phUnk]

Teach the neighbors' worthless cats to shoot a pellet gun. Done.

[snowsprite]

I heard that loud music frightens them and they'll leave. Why don't you try cranking Barbara Streisand tunes in the yard for a few days and see what happens...

Sprite

[drugged_monkey]

Originally posted by 3o3
50 gallon drum of fox piss. Hose down the house and yard. You won't be able to breath, but those furry little rodents won't come near your place.

Holy crap that's weird. I wonder how many foxes I'd have to milk to get 50 gallons worth?

[phUnk]

Originally posted by drugged_monkey
I wonder how many foxes I'd have to milk to get 50 gallons worth?

If you do it right, the same ones keep coming back for more.