Thread: Most entertaining roadkill

fo sho, that cat is fuked! Better off just to make him roadkill.

I was driving my buddy's brand new car on I-70 from Aspen to Vail; out of thin air a large deer appears in front of the car. Having been behind the wheel for less than an hour, I don't know the car and Glenwood canyon is foreign territory as well . . . . I t-boned the deer. The car was mashed and covered in smelly deer parts. I was standing in the middle of the highway ranting like a lunatic. My poor friend was catatonic. He didn't say a word for the rest of the night.


Moose are dangerous. A really great guy that I worked with was killed recently when he hit a moose. Very sad.

Moose definately are dangerous.

A few weeks ago I went to the soxs game down in NYC, and had to bust back up to go to middlebury for a Bela Fleck concert. I stuck around to watch some more of the game as it was in extra innings, and was supposed to pick a friend up in Hanover on the way. I'm already 30 minutes behind schedule, so I had to blast from NY to NH. I passed one cop going around 90(the speedo in my car was dead but it was 4k rpm in 5th gear), and luckily he was running radar the other direction. So I get into hanover making the trip from yankees stadium to nh in 3 hours and 38 minutes, knocking 12 minutes off my drive from the way down. I find out my friend has already left, and is going to meet me at the ticket window in an hour. So I've got an hour to get from hanover to middlebury.

I blast up 89 and up route 4, heading up over the gap. I'm pushing the car hard and reach the top of the gap. I'm driving deep into the corners on the way down, and start to notice the brakes fading, so try and use the whole road and downshift for corners. I know the last corners are open so I'm not using my brakes, just hauling. I get out of the gap, approaching the robert frost park, and see a sign for moose. I think, ah you never see moose around these damn signs. Well I thought too soon, because as soon as I crest the hill there are two moose standing at the bottom of the hill. Knowing my brakes wont stop me in time cause they are already fading like a mofo, I just start screaming and driving towards the moose. One was crossing the street and one was waiting for the other to cross, so they are positioned on either side of the road. I pray to god and straddle the line, threading between the moose doing about 70(3000rpm)...still screaming. Luckily the moose on the left didnt decide to cross any more or I wouldnt be here.

I made it to middlebury in an hour and 10 minutes, knocking 20 minutes off of my previous trip.

Best roadkill pictures ever!


Deer vs. Durango

Two friends and I hit a 350 pound wild boar in the middle of nowhere in Australia in the middle of the night.

The thing was destroyed. HUGE puddle of blood in the road, and pieces of boar scattered across the road. We were too terrified to try and find the entire carcass fearing another boar near by, or if somehow this fukker came back to mame us all. one of the craziest experiences i've ever ever had. Our car was wrecked, bumper dragging on the ground, hoood crumpled, and radiator hissing like a madman.

By Strawberry Reservoir in Utah, there are ground squirrels that the locals call "pot guts". When one pot gut becomes road kill, the others run out to eat him. They in turn are mashed flat. Others come to feed, and soon there's of pile of brown pelts all over the road. I guess that's how they keep their population under control. Kind of like Lemmings.

A guy I worked with tried to miss a duck and rolled his jeep and trailer. The duck wasn't worth it.

Originally posted by Duker
Best roadkill pictures ever!


Deer vs. Durango

Would have sucked if there was a passenger in that car. He would have been fukked.

Originally posted by InspectorGadget

Moose are dangerous. A really great guy that I worked with was killed recently when he hit a moose. Very sad.

Horses too. A few years ago at the local park (with riding trails) a horse spooked, bucked the rider, and ran down the trial onto the road -- horse meets VW bus. Everybody loses. The trailheads have since been modified with walkarounds.

Originally posted by Duker
Best roadkill pictures ever!
Deer vs. Durango

Unfortunately for Andy, the moose was on his side. His A4 Avant looked like it had a run-in with a giant can-opener.

Those photos hit a little too close to home.

Cantdog, that's pretty wild all that happened after I saw you at the game, glad it worked out okay.

To the topic: My Dad knew a guy who hit a moose with an MG midget. Blew the legs out from under the moose, it landed on the trunk. Dude lived, Moose and MG had to be put down.

Where the FUCK is the Reverend, I bet he has some stories to tell.

Originally posted by Rascal King
A deer you floor it, I hit one of those basterds a few years back on a small toyota and just fuked the front end, shattered windshields, and cracked front window. Deers are nice to hit but mooses can kill ya becuase they slide up the hood and fuking fly right into your face.

You obviously had a Friday afternoon Toyota. I was driving down to Chamonix a couple of years back and had to set off early to make the Channel crossing. I was driving through the New Forest with brownmonkey in really heavy rain and a group of about 10 deer were grazing on the median. I decelerated slightly and then another ran from the bushes straight into thefront of the car.

DOOF!

The deer flew up and down the nearside of the Toyota. I believe he pulled a D-spin before landing in a heap on the roadside. The deer was beyond economical repair but the Toyota merely sustained a cracked front number plate and a dent the size of a quarter in the chromed grille surround.


Other roadkill tales:

* Dog lovers turn away. I was on a press launch for the Porsche 911 Turbo in Carmona, Spain a few years back. The roads around Carmona can be quite narrow and I was nailing the 911 along one of them when a stray dog scuttled out of a bush in front of me and started running up the side of the road. I figured I'd just be able to miss him and not get tagged by the truck coming the other way but at the last minute the dog tunred round to see what was coming up behind him and I decapitated him. I still remember his headflying up in front of me. Ugh.

* I was out with a friend in the New Forest on motorbikes when he hit a deer at nearly 90mph. Fortunately he was on a Kawasaki ZZR-1100 and punched clean through the middle of the deer, leaving a third ayt either end on the road and the middle third plastered all over him and his bike. We stopped at a pub to clean him up a bit and he was so hyped up that he then tried to ride off with the disclock still in his front brake.

My mom hit a fish once. Right in the middle of the winshield. She said she saw the bird flying with the fish, but it seemed too heavy for the bird to handle. As she approached the bird/fish combination, the bird let go of the fish and it landed on her winshield.

Originally posted by spanky
My mom hit a fish once. Right in the middle of the winshield. She said she saw the bird flying with the fish, but it seemed too heavy for the bird to handle. As she approached the bird/fish combination, the bird let go of the fish and it landed on her winshield.

OK now I've hit alot of objects stationary and moving in 3 million miles but a frigg'n fish has got me beat all to hell.........

Originally posted by bad_roo
* I was out with a friend in the New Forest on motorbikes when he hit a deer at nearly 90mph. Fortunately he was on a Kawasaki ZZR-1100 and punched clean through the middle of the deer, leaving a third ayt either end on the road and the middle third plastered all over him and his bike.

Holy crap.

There are an absolutely ridiculous amount of deer around here, I've often wondered what happens when a biker hits one.

Badgers, got run over them a couple of times or else they'll come after ya. No bullshit

Originally posted by iceman
There are an absolutely ridiculous amount of deer around here, I've often wondered what happens when a biker hits one.

The suburban communities around NYC are really struggling with deer. Animal rights activists raise hell with towns thinning herds of deer, but what else can you do? They have no natural predators other than the front grills of automobiles.

There was a horrible story a few years ago in McLean Virginia. Anyone who lives in NoVa knows how many damn deer there are, its ridiculous.


So two cars were driving when the first car struck the deer and the animal flew into the car behind and went straight into the windshield. Reports said the deer was still alive, and apparently they freak out and kick like mad....the driver of the second car got kicked to death by a deer. I cant think of a worse way to go.

I was 17 and had just passed my driving test. I decided to drive down to Lymington, a picturesque little town on the Solent one evening to visit a friend. Just as I was leaving, I drove over the back end of a hedgehog in the road. I figured I couldn't leave it there so I thought the humane thing to do was administer the coup de grace and selected reverse gear.

Just as I started reversing an enormous guy in a wife beater stepped out of his house, heard the whine of my car accelerating backwards down the road and looks up to see me splurge the hedgehog flat and the drive away.

He jumped into his pickup and chased me for 12 miles.

Found it!

http://www.uselessjunk.741.com/bunny[1].mpeg

Mr Rabbit, meet Mr Race Car

(edit- copy/paste the entire URL instead of clicking it)

Friend of mine is a bit of a red-neck from somewhere near Woodstalk, NY. 9that's how he says it).

He's a bartender and taking home one of our buddies form the bar who is way to hammered to do anything in a vehicle but be a passenger. The are going up Junction Creek a virtual Deer and Elk playground.

He's coming around a corner and finds three petchuli and dread wearing fellows, who are standing around a deer they have just smashed with their VW Van.

The deer is still kicking etc. Eric, asks our innebriated friend Bob to reach into the glovebox and hand him the knife within. Eric calmly walks over slits the throat of the deer and asks the three guys for help loading into his truck.
They respond by freaking out, jumping in the van and taking off.
Bob had to help, and as Eric put it was useless as tits on a boar.


As I'm reading some of these stories, I find myself lucky to never had hit more than a big rabbit or small bird before.



We were following a friend who had double coffins on toip of his car down from the mountain. We were both traveling about 70-75 when he sudddenly brakes and veers off the side of the road, we see a poof of feathers, we think their feathers?

We stop to see what the problem is, and discover an owl hit the space between the top of the windsheild and the coffins, there is blood and feathers from the front to the back of the car, down the windsheild and the passenger door.

Along with two guys who very nearly had the same effect down the sides of their pant-legs. Pretty funny afterwords but at the time, the two of them were pretty freaked out.

Driving from Crested Butte to Las Vegas NM, on the back roads (Hwy 285-17) I’m in a 90’ full Size Bronco and I scope a big ass bird flying directly at us. I don’t panic I just keep it straight, going about 40 MPH around the curves. The next thing I hear is a loud “WHOOMP” the big bird bounces off the side of the Bronco. My buddy and I would have kept on going if we hadn’t of noticed that the “big ass bird" was black and had a white head….oops it was a bald eagle.

“Oh shit we just killed our national bird”
"Oh shit what are we gonna do, now…lets check it out!"

We stop the vehicle, jump out and run over to check it out. Well the eagle is not dead, just standing in the middle of hwy 17 completely stunned, crossed eyed, and very disoriented. Kinda like Frizzo after a night at Urban Lounge.

So my buddy and I look at each other and decide not to do a damn thing, simply because this "big ass bird" has razor sharp talons as big as my hand.
Thoughts of;
“Hey lets put him a duffel bag and take him to a vet.”
“Well what if he decides to come around and gets all pissed and rips the bag to shreds and tries to get away inside the Bronco?"
After realizing that pondering stupid shit like that wasnt gonna get us to Las Vegas…..the eagle opens up his wings revealing a 8 wing span, and flaps em a few times and takes off…
He takes off flying right above the road about windshield high and around the bend…..gone

There was a small dent left on the quarter panel of the Bronco….cool

The fish story is pretty funny. The only similarly weird roadkill experience I have is hitting a duck that was in the middle of the Sugarbush access road one January. Poor duck.

Originally posted by Punani
Found it!

http://www.uselessjunk.741.com/bunny[1].mpeg

Mr Rabbit, meet Mr Race Car

Heh... I've done that while racing! Only did a glancing blow, but it's always a risk out here as our tracks are in what can be politely called "semi-arid" areas. Lots of arroyos and dry washes that produce critters that dart across the tarmac.

Once got a session redflagged due to a really deaf deer grazing at Turn 1 at Pueblo....

Imola is birdstrike central. Tagged four on one lap once.

A plane I was in ran over a stray dog on the runway in Sofia. You just heard a muted thump.

Funniest Roadkill pic, IMHO...
http://www.inference.phy.cam.ac.uk/m...s/roadkill.jpg

About 7 years ago my POS Honda Nighthawk 650 was in the shop in Ft. Washington, MD (just outside the Beltway.) The thing had been stolen and pretty much wrecked by the kids trying to break the steering column lock. I have GEICO Cycle Guard insurance and, being GEICO, didn't want to claim anything lest my premiums increase. I had bought the bike for $500 off a friend, and simply wanted to get it into riding shape so I could continue using it as my commuter vehicle. The estimate was for $150 so I decided to bite the bullet.

Along with the usual crap the shop's policy is a) you only pay after they fix it and b) they test-ride every time they work on the bike before turning it over to the owner. Well, the mechanic has to go home and asks his apprentice to check the bike out at dusk. This kid ends up nailing a Deer going about 50mph in a residential neighborhood (speed limit 25mph.)

The upshod:

Kid: in hospital w/broken leg and suspended for speeding (he got his job back later.)

Deer: Dressed and hung by neighbor closest to accident who called the authorities.

Bike: Totalled - shop's Insurance carrier pays me $1800 supposed blue book value (!) and offers sincerest apologies.

Tippster: Uses check as down payment for brand new bike, which I still have.