Thread: Have a Killer Fuckin Trip 2Planker

I 'forgot' to pay toilet tax once in Bulgaria and the old crone on the door bust into the trap that I was taking a crap in and stoved me in the bollocks with a mop.

Well, I'm in Kazakhstan. British Airways lost my luggage, so I've been wearing the same clothes for a few days. Hope to get my bag tomorrow and that it has not been gone through.

Weird, weird place. This place is struggling to overcome the opression of the soviet area and bust into the 21st century. Massive concrete buildings, statues, and public monuments give the place an opressive industrial feel.

The beauty of the Tian Shan mountains that backdrop the city (they are in China) cannot be denid though. I am so looking forward to eating a good American meal. The menu at the restaurant had traditional foods like heart, lungs, tongue, horse, and other bits and pieces.

I'm off to (carefully) explore the city!

ûïð îôûû øøû äæü îüñçãöòô ààæô!!!!

That's Kazak for "please bring me ketchup". Just kidding. I asked for ketchup at dinner tonight and the waiter brought me some kind of pizza sauce. I think they put horse tongue in with my Pork Chop Gordon Blue (the translations on the menus are hilarious). Worse is, I think I like it.

The people here drive like crackheads headed to the Free Crack store. Seriously. All night I hear tires squealing and horns honking like it's a scene from Ronin. People stop and go at lights as they see fit and crossing the street is like a crazy game of Kazak Frogger.

I'm at an Internet cafe and there's like 20 Kazak kids playing some online game like it's life and death. Screaming and yelling and jumping around. Remember that bar from the second Indiana Jones movie where he gets the girl and then her bar burns down? Well, it's kind of like that, with Command and Conquer instead of Nazis and Mongols.

British Airways found my luggage at Heathrow, or so they claim, so maybe I get to brush my teeth with a toothbrush that was not made during the Soviet rule tomorrow. The toilet paper and toobrushes are like punishment.

There! I needed to complain a bit. I really do love it here - the people are stern, but friendly, and have done a stunning job of making due with what they have. The town is ugly, but the immense mountains make all the shitty apartment buildings that crowd the skyline seem irrelevant. These mountains are immense, with glaciers, huge, steep snowfields, and couloirs. I can see a great deal of them from my hotel, which is the tallest building in Almaty, and I could just stare at them for hours.

I've also had some fun watching shows like The Simpsons in Russian, Kazak, Czezh, and German. Even in a foreign language, that show cracks me up. The only channel I get in English is the BBC.

The Soviet statues in the public parks are truly stunning. They are absolutely massive, and depict Soviet heros weilding swords, scythes and other farming implements in a great, blocky style. They sort of remind me of comic book art.

Some things here are very cheap. I bought a beer and a bottle of vodka for about $2.00 US. Lunch for three at a decent restaurant is about $20. But all the clothing I see at the Ramstore (the local mall) is Armani, Dolci and Gabanna and other tourist-catering brands and styles that are extremely expensive.

Tomorrow I have to actually work - we're making a presentation in English, which will then be translated into Russian by our translator, with Russian overheads - should be interesting. Wish me luck!

Finally read this thread. Good stuff 2P! Thanks for the TR and keep it coming.

Headed back to Vienna from Kazakhstan tomorrow morning. We'll stay the night in Vienna and then back to the US.

The presentation that we made here went well and I'm glad it's over. We've a long flight home, but I'm looking forward to returning.

See you all at the Buzzapalooza in a bit.

Cheers from the other side of the globe!

What was the objective of your trip to Kazakhstan?

Originally posted by bad_roo
What was the objective of your trip to Kazakhstan?

Quest for a lifestyle congruent to Logan, UT halfway around the world?

Bovine toungue sampling minus the side of green jello?

Sampling vodka other than that made from potatoes across the state border?


Have a safe trip home 2-P!!

Originally posted by bad_roo
What was the objective of your trip to Kazakhstan?

You haven't heard?

Awesome TR 2P! I bet Northern Utah looks a lot better in comparison now. Do you know how much ski area/heli skiing development has been done in that mountain range?

shamrock - Plenty of heli action in the Tien Shan. Been talking to operators there for years. Even though the Ruskie military choppers are kinda sketch, they ski all through the summer there.

Wow. I'm just getting around to reading this thread. I thought I'd just bump it back up to the top, 'cause it's an aweful good read. I can't wait for some pics!

Originally posted by bad_roo
What was the objective of your trip to Kazakhstan?

The company that I work for is a research and evaluation firm. One of our clients is introducing an online (Internet-based) business ethics program in central Europe and Asia.

The program is designed to introduce high school students to the concept of doing business ethically, which, in these countries, where bribery and corruption are a part of everyday life, is a foreign concept. We held trainings in two locations: Zlin in the Czech Republic and Almaty Kazakhstan. We met with people from the surrounding countries, from Poland, Belarus, Armenia, Krgyzstan, Turkmenistan, and about 10 other countries.

Our job is to evaluate the program formatively (to make sure the program is implemented in the best way possible) and then to evaluate the program summatively (to assess the impact of the program).

Our meetings consisted of explaining how our evaluation will work, and how the program managers in each of the countries will be involved. During the summative phase of the evaluation, we will make site visits to a selection of these countries. Therefore I will likely be visiting this region of the world again, but this time to actually observe the program in action, as part of our evaluation of the program's effectiveness.

Needless to say, the discussions we had about ethics, and how the concept of ethical behavior differs in different cultures was very interesting.

Our presentation in Almaty was challenging because we presented in English, which was then translated into Russian via an interpreter. We also used Russian overheads.

Originally posted by shamrockpow
Awesome TR 2P! I bet Northern Utah looks a lot better in comparison now. Do you know how much ski area/heli skiing development has been done in that mountain range?

As Splat mentioned, the Tian Shan mountains look stunning are offer a lot of possibility. Flying over them this morning on our flight out of Almaty was a real treat. There are heli-ops that operate out of a ski resort near Almaty. They use Soviet era helos to fly clients into what must be spectacular terrain. Trusting these ancient looking choppers would be a bit dicey though. I saw a bunch of them on the runway in Almaty and they look pretty rough around the edges.

I'm back in Vienna now. It's nice to be back in Europe. I just finished my first really good meal in a week. Due to time constraints whilst in Almaty, we mostly ate at our hotel, and the food there leaves a lot to be desired.

Our last function in Almaty was an open-bar reception, where I met the United Stated Ambassador to Kazakhstan. His name is Larry and he has but one leg.

Today was spent on a plane - all freaking day. Our flight out is not the most direct path back to the States. First stop was Ekaterinburg, Russia. Then to Heathrow in London, then to Vienna, Austria, where I am now, and which is obviously the wrong direction. Unfortunately it is the most direct way to fly. T

Tomorrow we fly to Charles DeGaulle in Paris, France then to Altanta, Georgia, then to sweet, sweet, SLC. A two hour drive from there will put me back at home.

I was glad to get out of Kazakhstan without a hassle. There was some question about the fact that we did not register with the Embassy, which could have resulted in delays, confusion, fines, and shouting in Kazak. I had scenes from Midnight Express flashing through my head as they searched through my luggage and inspected my passport (about a half dozen times). Some passengers had theirs inspected with blacklights, magnifying glasses, the whole bit.

I have a shitload of pictures of just about everything you would expect and a lot you might not : cathedrals, dungeons, castles, crypts, spires, mountains, bridges, chaos, confusion, art, dinosaurs, armor, swords, statues, mosques, churches, people, and two long-dead Komodo dragons. It will all make sense when I show you the pictures, which I will do as soon as I return.

Off to bed now! See you soon.

If by "people" you mean "women," then for God's sake, Man, hurry home & post!!

Can't wait for the first hand stories and pics!!!

See ya soon man.