Best Gaper qoute of the weekend?

**0BernhardFranz** · 02-17-2010, 07:25 AM

Tanner, I got called gaper enough.I want to ski with a rope attached to you and juts try my snow plugh as it is the savest.I may not be good, but have rich friends, so maybe Gates would hire you as a mountain guide ? Or did you not read the anti discrimination clause ? Don´t you want to SKI WTH GAPERS ?

**Jax** · 02-17-2010, 10:54 AM

2 weeks ago or so at LL, the Red Bull Pinzgauer was parked at the base of skiier drop-off. A man grabs my arms at the top near the restrooms and says "Excuse me Ma'am, what lift does that there Red Bull Bus take you?" I chuckled a bit and said it was only for marketing, that they don't actually take skiers anywhere. I don't think he believed me.

**Alpentele** · 02-18-2010, 07:18 PM

What about the woman announcing the women's downhill on NBC?

something like

"Those men's skis Lindsey Vaughn uses have a longer wheelbase; just like a car, so they can really absorb those bumps in the course better"

**bdoubleya** · 02-18-2010, 07:57 PM

I love being an expert extreme skier. Yeah yeah, fuck those GAPERS!
Bro Bra Blah Blah Blah!

**Phill** · 02-18-2010, 08:16 PM

Originally Posted by Alpentele

What about the woman announcing the women's downhill on NBC?

something like

"Those men's skis Lindsey Vaughn uses have a longer wheelbase; just like a car, so they can really absorb those bumps in the course better"

are you serious?

Youtube?

**njfreeskier** · 02-18-2010, 08:56 PM

^^^ Yep. Mary Carillo said that the men's skis vonn uses are much stiffer than the women skis and help absorb all the bumps and rutts on the course giving her a smoother ride, just like having a longer wheelbase on a car.

Its bad, but I don't know, I've heard more ridiculous things/analogies from commentators.

Oh, and I'm sure someone's said this at some point, but I've never heard it before so I'm sharing. At Stowe this past week, I was on the lift and overheard this guy telling one of his friends he wants to get a pair of fritschis for next year. Because the heel releases and lifts, and he's tired of skating across traverses.

**telestoner** · 02-19-2010, 12:17 AM

was at a major ski resort walking to get tickets with friends, crack of noon. we see this really small kid and a young woman. the little kid has his skis off and is having a rough time getting the 6' to the footpath we are on. the woman is all sweet and encouraging, saying "you can do it, you can scooch your butt down the hill". the little kid is all cute and we're thinking she's his mom, and i say something encouraging. as we walk past she turns to us, and, under her breath, whispers "i fucking want to kill myself". then we see her snowsports nametag. made my day!

**telestoner** · 02-19-2010, 12:49 AM

this was at snowbasin!

**Bullet** · 02-19-2010, 12:57 AM

Originally Posted by Alpentele

What about the woman announcing the women's downhill on NBC?

something like

"Those men's skis Lindsey Vaughn uses have a longer wheelbase; just like a car, so they can really absorb those bumps in the course better"

The woman? You mean Christin Cooper? US Ski team for 8 years. Seven World Cup victories and 26 podiums. Silver medal in the 1984 Olympics - 3rd place in the World Cup....that woman?

"are like having a longer wheelbase, .." . Which is a true statement. A longer ski absorbs the bumps better just as a car with a longer wheel base is smoother ride.

**Breakwater** · 02-19-2010, 08:52 AM

Gaper at the top of the gondola, slamming their boot into the ski, It won't go

Girlfriend to the Gaper:
Youre shin strap (booster type strap) is caught underneath your boot.
Gaper: Oh, I see, thanks
Girfriend: That strap is supposed to go around your shin high on the boot.
Gaper: Oh, No, that strap is for carrying the boots.
Girlfriend: okbye

**Breakwater** · 02-19-2010, 08:53 AM

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**ski.stealer** · 02-19-2010, 09:04 AM

Originally Posted by Breakwater

Gaper at the top of the gondola, slamming their boot into the ski, It won't go

Girlfriend to the Gaper:
Youre shin strap (booster type strap) is caught underneath your boot.
Gaper: Oh, I see, thanks
Girfriend: That strap is supposed to go around your shin high on the boot.
Gaper: Oh, No, that strap is for carrying the boots.
Girlfriend: okbye

Sounds like you're the gaper here bro! Those straps are totally for carrying the boots.... That's why they have a 'booster strap' - that's what I grab when I'm boostin' 'em...

**Ski_Phan** · 02-19-2010, 09:28 AM

Quote:
Originally Posted by Alexander1310 View Post
At Snowbasin Saturday with 8 plus inches of fresh while riding the lift:

Gaper (from New York or Jersey, which ever, a useless place): Why don't they have a run dedicated to good moguls? I mean this is such a waste of a good mountain.

Me: I don't live in Utah to ski moguls.

Gaper: Then why are you here?

Me: To fly on deep untracked snow.

Gaper: Is that really more enjoyable than moguls?

Me: Ha....... yeah.

Gaper: Well can I go ski with you and see?

Me: Uh no...... I don't want you to goatfuck my run and the hidden stashes. (quick exit off the lift and skied off into the trees to ditch the Jersey Shore wannabe)

IF this is true. nobody will be following you because you sound like a pretentious asshole. I think most of this thread is funny but some 'serious skiers' on this site are just serious losers.

secondly i don't believe that gaper quote of the weekend. B/c I don't think someone has the indecency to talk to a stranger that way.

**Breakwater** · 02-19-2010, 09:40 AM

Originally Posted by Ski_Phan

secondly i don't believe that gaper quote of the weekend. B/c I don't think someone has the indecency to talk to a stranger that way.

I think the general consensus is that was just a A-holeish comment.

Let it die, and continue with the hilarity.

**Alexander1310** · 02-19-2010, 10:04 AM

Originally Posted by Ski_Phan

IF this is true. nobody will be following you because you sound like a pretentious asshole. I think most of this thread is funny but some 'serious skiers' on this site are just serious losers.

secondly i don't believe that gaper quote of the weekend. B/c I don't think someone has the indecency to talk to a stranger that way.

Well after riding up the lift for 10 minutes with this guy not shutting up about his life story and how awesome he was, hearing this and that, and to include me being a crabby asshole due to lack a sleep, I did allow myself to have that level of indecency to respond to this guy.

Honestly I think that the TGR forum ways wore off on me, first time I've been that rude to a guy before. Usually I'm a stand up guy, but at that moment I could give two shits. Oh wait

**Notchtop** · 02-19-2010, 10:13 AM

Couple kids in their late teens early 20s. Kid 1 looks a little shaken up.

Kid 1: Whoa. I just hit somebody.
Kid 2: You hit somebody?
Kid 1: Yeah. They turned in front of me.
Kid 2: Did you apologize?
Kid 1: No. I just kept on going.
Kid 2: Good. Never apologize. Too many gapers out here today. We need to put the hurt on some of these gapers. Good work dude.
Kid 1: I guess.

**NorEasterSkier** · 02-19-2010, 10:16 AM

Originally Posted by fluxrad

I have no idea what the wife is wearing, but she looks super comfortable. Before the guy gets on the lift he shouts, "This is how we dress for skiing in Oklahoma!" He then proceeds to hug the lift op. Yes, those are chaps.

What the hell!?

**karpiel** · 02-19-2010, 10:20 AM

Originally Posted by Gnu

This is how I picture Jer -- and I mean that in a good way.

Something like this? But with skis?

**counterfeitfake** · 02-19-2010, 12:41 PM

Originally Posted by Bullet

The woman? You mean Christin Cooper? US Ski team for 8 years. Seven World Cup victories and 26 podiums. Silver medal in the 1984 Olympics - 3rd place in the World Cup....that woman?

"are like having a longer wheelbase, .." . Which is a true statement. A longer ski absorbs the bumps better just as a car with a longer wheel base is smoother ride.

The lesson is clear: beware of talking to JONGs lest you be mistaken for one.

**ski.stealer** · 02-19-2010, 01:26 PM

Originally Posted by counterfeitfake

The lesson is clear: beware of talking to JONGs lest you be mistaken for one.

Don't be a retard - skis don't have wheels./.. duh.

**jrbd** · 02-19-2010, 05:17 PM

Monday, my wife and I are about to board a 2-person lift. The guy behind us asks, "Where does this lift go?"

How do you answer a question like that in the two seconds before the chair arrives?

**prokeke** · 02-19-2010, 05:20 PM

Originally Posted by jrbd

Monday, my wife and I are about to board a 2-person lift. The guy behind us asks, "Where does this lift go?"

How do you answer a question like that in the two seconds before the chair arrives?

Up, where else?

**Jethro** · 02-19-2010, 10:08 PM

Originally Posted by counterfeitfake

The lesson is clear: beware of talking to JONGs lest you be mistaken for one.

Similar to along the lines of "don't argue with a moron. Someone watching might not be able to tell the difference".

**skiATL** · 02-20-2010, 12:56 AM

Originally Posted by prokeke

Up, where else?

this reminds me of a quote my dad told me about when he was on a float trip on some river in georgia where a blonde girl said in the middle of the trip, "Hey, it kinda looks like were going downhill!"

**jonesy** · 02-20-2010, 10:24 AM

Riding up the chair and this guy gets out the resort map and starts turning the map different directions. Another rider on the chair say's are you lost? Nope and points to the top,that ways up. Then I put the map back in my pocket.