Thread: Best Gaper qoute of the weekend?

With the weekend night and sunny skies at the Bird friday, I knew I was in for some supreme gaper-viewing. I was on the Cirque Traverse, planning on hitting one of the later shots into Gad Valley, and stopped above the traverse to peek into the Peruvian side. About 15 feet down the hill was a guy in an orange coat, about 55, on some skinny skis, talking really loud about "meeting up with the clients". I initially assumed he was talking to a ski friend that was out of my line of sight, but soon realized he was having a business call on a hands-free. In the middle of his overly-loud conversation, he drops in on a steep, bumped out section in mid sentence. I stood there, mouth agape, praying for him to eat shit, but he managed to hack his way down the soft moguls while carrying on about is clients.

Got a new helmet... and gaped.

^^^Come on, dude, that's the new thing. It's like leaving the sticker on your new gangsta flat brim hat!

Originally Posted by skifishbum

SKIFISHBUM. GAPER THEN^^^^^^^GAPER NOW, AND FOREVER.

rog

Sporting a Boda bag & gators, sweet.

Originally Posted by icelanticskier

SKIFISHBUM. GAPER THEN^^^^^^^GAPER NOW, AND FOREVER.

rog

Overheard in the parking lot while preparing to skin up before the lift opened for Vermont's first real powder day of the season.

"Dude, I forgot my boots at home!"

Oh shit... that's me

Employing some rather unsafe driving practices, I was able to get home and back in time to skin 3/4 of the way up and get down just as the lift officially opened.

Originally Posted by bptempleton

I'm 24, I ski every day, and my knees work better than yours. Eat it!

im 44 ski everyday i want and school most outtashape 24 yr. olds
bobby

This shit is all too common. I sadly had to call out a buddy who had recently purchased a vantage and hadn't removed his stickers. Sigh...

Originally Posted by flatNshallow

Got a new helmet... and gaped.

Overheard on the hill in the PNW this weekend....
"I forgot my good poles!"

Originally Posted by daviski

interesting use of the past tense

I'll explain it to you. You ARE a jackass, newsense, WAS a jackass.

called out by Leroy, what an honor. Shouldn't you be out somewhere getting people off your pot?


A gaper quote of my own got one of the best put downs I've heard.

My first time back in Colorado after a 20 yr absence found me on the alpine lift early on a cold morning at Copper after many days of no snow and thaw/refreeze. I decided wth, I'll try that (triple treat) which was fully bumped and frozen egg carton.

No other idiot on the slope and no one on the lift until halfway down one guy is on the lift above me, and as I'm stopped to get my head and legs together, he passes several feet above, not even looking at me but within speaking distance:

Me: Wow, pretty icy out here this morning.
Him: Pretty goddam noisy out here this morning

I was a real gaper

I'll just leave these two right here.......

http://forums.alpinezone.com/showthread.php?t=107753

http://www.killingtonzone.com/forums...hp?f=1&t=34360

"The probe is so they can breathe, right?"

So this is like 1,5 week ago on top of the short hike up left from the top of Imperial lift in Breckenridge, gets you to the Lake Shutes and Snow white, sort of the steeper inbounds terrain in Breckenridge for those unfamiliar.

I have just finished the hike up, skipatrol right behind me just clicked in and this middle age smoking gentelman (seems to have his wife with him aswell) walks up to ski patrol and asks: "Whats the easiest way down?"

The look on the poor patrollers face was priceless, he couldnt decide if the guy was joking, if he misheard him or if he was in fact serious. After a few seconds he responds with: "Did you ask for the easiest way down?"
Gentleman: "Yes."
Skipatrol: "Ok just go down to the left here *sigh*".

Ok if you are new to the area and get on the wrong lift and find yourself in over your head, I get that, but what are you expecting to find on top of a hike at the very top of the liftsystem? Green groomers?

Oh man, I had the golden lift ride today at the bird. I am having a hard time remembering all of them.

First off.... "hey billy, hows it going?" "well, its different than ice." (note: 10" of wind buff awesomeness) very thoughtfully "hmm, that would make a good slogan. Utah- different than ice." All nod is solemn agreement.


Followed almost immediately by "man, did you see rog almost biff it on that cat lip? we were cruising along and this poor visibility (note: in and out clouds, almost bluebird at times) and the scratchy snow (see first note) and out of nowhere - cat lip. i mean look over there (points into the cirque) is there a cat lip? could be. man, but roger, classic cat lip."


And then came the icing .... bomb goes off, pretty close. "whoa, you hear that billy?" "yeah, wow." "you definitely don't hear that at Aspen."

seriously, spurted a few times trying to keep from laughing.

Going around a traverse yesterday in a mad dash to get to the untracked and a guy ducks a boundry rope makes a few turns and then tries to come back inbounds and is thrown head over heels by the same boundry rope he just ducked. I didn't even really process how screwy it was until this morning.

may need some fact checking here....
"big sky is tiny"
"squaw has 110 lifts"
this is a paraphrase: " twelve months out of the year, you can ski right to lake tahoe's shores, where you will always find women cavorting in halter tops."

Man standing in middle of groomer at base of Solitude: I can't get my boots buckled.
Woman who has just skied up to him: You have been skiing though?
Man: No, I can't get my boots buckled.
I'm not sure how long he had been trying, but apparently awhile.

Collins chairlift:
Instructor: Alta could stay open pretty late into spring but they always close in the middle of April.
Gaper: Is it because of the bears?
Me (to myself): WTF????????
Instructor then went on to explain how there are no bears in the Wasatch, even though I've seen several. Time to put earbuds back in.

Originally Posted by Bud Green

Collins chairlift:
Instructor: Alta could stay open pretty late into spring but they always close in the middle of April.
Gaper: Is it because of the bears?
Me (to myself): WTF????????
Instructor then went on to explain how there are no bears in the Wasatch, even though I've seen several. Time to put earbuds back in.

In Gaper's defense, they close portions of my local hill in the spring because of bears - Grizzly habitat or something.

Originally Posted by nateski

"twelve months out of the year, you can ski right to lake tahoe's shores, where you will always find women cavorting in halter tops."

If someone said that tongue-in-cheek it would be just as hilarious. Kind of like in Dumb & Dumber when he's talking about Aspen.

Originally Posted by Bud Green

Gaper: Is it because of the bears?

Part of the reason they can't keep Heavenly open later is because of Bear activity. Last year some of them started coming out of hibernation in late March / early April and they had to shut down a few lifts and rope off some trails on the California side (I know this is true because I saw and reported one of the bears). I guess they were able to scare them up and over the mountain (?) but I can't imagine it's something they'd want to deal with very often.

Girl at the table next to mine in the lodge yesterday afternoon, looking curiously at helmet and a lightbulb goes off. "Ohhhhh, THAT's why it wasn't fitting very well. I was wearing it backwards."

kind of like this classic

Not sure if this is gaper or awesome- I'm just confused.

Guy about 40 years old, has a vaugely Midwest look about him, skis down to the ski rack, pops the skis off, and heads inside.

The skis are 195ish mid 1980's Volkls, beat to absolute hell.

They have minty Marker Dukes on them.

I heard a gaper in a lift line at Alta say "are you really going to that agro on me?!"

do they sell pizza and french fries at the lodge