Thread: Best Gaper qoute of the weekend?

Originally Posted by littlefatkid

Riding up the tram at big sky a few weeks ago, minding my own business, when the culmination of all gaper quotes occured and changed my life forever.

Four young, besnowboarded bros are clustered on one side of the tram, and as my mind drifts back into the cabin, i pick up on thier conversation and realize that they are lamenting vociferously the fact that the assholes of the big sky ski patrol dont lend out avy equiptment to payin customers so that they can ski the Big Couloir. By now, the brains and voice of this small crew has reached peak pitch, and, no longer able to adequetly cope with his frustration in a relatively quiet manner, bursts out with the following:

"Well i just dont get what the big deal is. I mean, they could just lend us the stuff for a run no problem. And anyways, whats there to understand? You've got your shovel, your probe, and your tranceiver, and you push the button to talk..."

At which my mouth dropped open involuentarily. And then closed. And then we got to the top, and stepped out, and i skied quietly down, dwelling heavily on what i had just heard.

The human gene pool thanks you for not saying anything.

Originally Posted by littlefatkid

Riding up the tram at big sky a few weeks ago, minding my own business, when the culmination of all gaper quotes occured and changed my life forever.

Four young, besnowboarded bros are clustered on one side of the tram, and as my mind drifts back into the cabin, i pick up on thier conversation and realize that they are lamenting vociferously the fact that the assholes of the big sky ski patrol dont lend out avy equiptment to payin customers so that they can ski the Big Couloir. By now, the brains and voice of this small crew has reached peak pitch, and, no longer able to adequetly cope with his frustration in a relatively quiet manner, bursts out with the following:

"Well i just dont get what the big deal is. I mean, they could just lend us the stuff for a run no problem. And anyways, whats there to understand? You've got your shovel, your probe, and your tranceiver, and you push the button to talk..."

At which my mouth dropped open involuentarily. And then closed. And then we got to the top, and stepped out, and i skied quietly down, dwelling heavily on what i had just heard.

Everyone knows you need to switch it to "Talk" first, then push the button. Idiots.

How else will be you be able to tell your buddies where you're buried...?

Originally Posted by johngenx

How else will be you be able to tell your buddies where you're buried...?

"Hey guys, ummm...I'm in a pile of what appears to be snow, rocks and tree parts...i must've gone somewhere between 10 and 300 ft downhill from where I was...not sure if I'm upside down right now..."

Originally Posted by johngenx

How else will be you be able to tell your buddies where you're buried...?

HALP! HALP!

"Well i just dont get what the big deal is. I mean, they could just lend us the stuff for a run no problem. And anyways, whats there to understand? You've got your shovel, your probe, and your tranceiver, and you push the button to talk..."

"MARCO!"

That reminds me of a woman who thought that an avalanche probe was for assembling by the buried victim... so that they could stick it up out of the snow to be found!

"...POLO!"

Originally Posted by JimmyCarter

Everyone knows you need to switch it to "Talk" first, then push the button. Idiots.

Aw heck, it doesn't matter anyway. You can just get out your probe and extend it straight up through the debris so your friends can see where you are.

Originally Posted by wardog

Aw heck, it doesn't matter anyway. You can just get out your probe and extend it straight up through the debris so your friends can see where you are.

I ski with giant balloons tied to my powder ribbons, so I don't need to worry about these things.

"So I am a pretty extreme downhill skier who has just delved into the world of Tele and AT skiing."

http://tetongravity.com/forums/showthread.php?t=151914

And here I always thought the probe was an "apres ski" device...

Originally Posted by johngenx

And here I always thought the probe was an "apres ski" device...

It is if you use it correctly.

Heard someone say jumping into powder was more dangerous than hardpack recently.

Originally Posted by leroy jenkins

Heard someone say jumping into powder was more dangerous than hardpack recently.

Keep them thinking that. If you hear that, jump in and get all excited and explain how powder is avalanche prone, causes weak bridges over the glacier crevasses (of course we're on a glacier, fool) and should be avoided at all costs. Green-circle means "Go for safety!" oh, and stay out of the backcountry at all costs...

It's ski week here at Tahoe and the epic snow has been exceeded only by the epic gaperdom. Today I watched a guy herringbone up to a lift, slide backwards down at a highly respectable rate of speed and take out a snowboarder. My own gaper move--managed to kick my binding heel with my other ski and got to watch the ski go half way down a fairly steep chute.

I have found a way to improve the quality of lift conversation though--I have a KVMR sticker on one ski (that's a radio station for aging hippies) and a Fender sticker on the other--sometimes we talk about something other than the weather and the skiing. Fewer gaper quotes though.

I heard about this one guy who asked: Where do the ski resorts put all the moguls during the summer?

He thought that moguls were plastic domes with snow on top of them or something.

This is actually from a couple years ago at Stevens, on a clear night with the stars out...

Gaper- "that bright light marks the top of the mountain."

Inside my brain- "No my friend, that is in fact the planet Venus."

Not a quote, but a photo: saw this guy at Mt. Rose last weekend, snowboarding in this awesome space-alien coat (it's much more shiny and reflective in real life):

The bindings are a nice touch too.

Riding up the Chair with my Bluehouse Shoots.

Guy: Are those, those reverse camber skis
Me: Yes
Guy: I don't understand why people ride those
Me: Why's that
Guy: (In almost Napoleon Dynamite like tone): Because you can't even carve.

Originally Posted by JimmyCarter

Was riding the bachelor's gulch lift at Beaver Creek with my brother and some 80 year old who was back skiing on a new hip.

also at bc, late middle aged douche yells down from the lift, "close up that gap!" at a skier with perfectly normal form (not excessive attention to glued thighs and vail-swivel hips), then proceeded to resume conversation about ski fashion labels.

was asked this dandy on the bus the other day "you can ski in the spring?"

Today after hitching a ride back to the top of Berthoud pass:

Me: Today is a great day to test your backcountry skills.
Guy in car on his 2nd backcountry day ever and 1st this year: Yeah ... it's a great day to learn some.

Guy today on lift..."BAAAR"...I look up at the bar to avoid it, but it's still up...and he's just looking straight ahead