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Thread: Best Gaper qoute of the weekend?
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01-31-2009, 10:00 PM #851
Mutt Wrangler
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well, in this instance, they're dealer plates.
Originally Posted by fish
No longer stuck.
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01-31-2009, 10:01 PM #852
ess my dee
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The last time I was in Lubbock, kids at Tech were mixing it with Gatorade. Originally Posted by mtsprings
Congrats, mags! We collected 1030.68! for birdman!
Originally Posted by Tuckerman
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02-01-2009, 08:16 AM #853
tokoloshe
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On the chairlift, Mt. Rose, yesterday:
Non-helmet-wearing snowboarder (on regular soft-boot setup snowboard, not hard boot setup): I like to come up here early when the runs are icy, so I can go fast.
Snowboarder buddy of his: How fast?
NHWS: I hit 70mph this morning, easy.
SBOH: Really? Wow, man, that's fast.
NHWS: On Kit Carson, I usually cruise along about 50-60, but then it gets crowded, so I have to slow down.
Kit Carson = giant wide mellow blue run...
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02-01-2009, 09:47 AM #854
actually a ninja
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yesterday at stowe a friend of mine was going to huck the waterfall. a 25-30 footer to flat. Personally Ill never do it because I like being 5'10'', and not compressed.
My friend was at the top looking for a landing zone, and these gapers were yelling at him to do it.
Gaper1: "Do it, the landing is so soft"
Gaper2: "Yeah, I just hucked it and im fine."
Me: "The landing is flat as shit and all bombed out right now, its not OK.
Gaper1:" just aim between the bomb holes"
Me:" funny, that big one looks kinda like someone fell sideways, and didnt stomp it"
Gaper2 (helmet caked with snow)" ...Do it man, the landings good"
nothing annoys me more than morons egging a total stranger on to huck something that has a flat bombed out landingLive
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02-01-2009, 10:00 AM #855
Registered User
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Gapers are interestingly attracted to "jumps" with crappy, bombed-out, flat landings... like moths to a porch light.
Oh yeah, they must also be within view of a chairlift or lodge, you know, for braggin' rights!Leave No Turn Unstoned!
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02-01-2009, 04:07 PM #856
inchoate
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"Is the water safe to drink?" - Turon from NYC checking into hotel.
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02-01-2009, 04:49 PM #857
canadian bacon
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Just remembered this one - I was about 10 years old, skiing in NH with my parents and their friends. My dad and I were on a lift at Cannon Mtn. (I think), and my parent's friend commented on how large the moguls were that the snow-cats had made overnight. My dad called him out immediately - it was solid. We still joke about that one when we ski together.
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02-01-2009, 04:56 PM #858knarshedmotatoes Guest
today in the park, pulled a 360
"woah he did a whirlybird!"
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02-01-2009, 06:42 PM #859
shit yeah
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I have a new favorite. Not exactly overhead-gaper, but I took my GF to Maine, yesterday, and it was her 5th day ever on a board:
I'm in line, getting a beer with lunch.
GF: There's no where to sit up here.
Me: Just grab a seat downstairs, I'll be there in a minute.
GF: Where?
Me: Downstairs.
GF: Where?
Me: The seats downstairs.
GF: How do you get there?
Me: You go down the stairs.
Entire bar within earshot starts to laugh. She's walks out.
About 10 mins after lunch she broke her wrist, and not long after that she's the ex-gf. Too bad.
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02-01-2009, 06:49 PM #860
Close enough.
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I would be happy about it now being ex. Originally Posted by puhisurfer
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02-01-2009, 07:18 PM #861
Colorado Skittle thug
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You have no reason not to post nekkid pics then. Originally Posted by puhisurfer
The Worst mistakes, make the best memories.
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02-01-2009, 07:43 PM #862
Registered User
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on the chair with a couple from fernie. they were talking about back home how they would duck the ropes at night to get to the runs that didn't have lights.....
because the mountain would groom those right away, and they could hit up the fresh groomers.
who the fuck ducks the ropes for groomers?
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02-01-2009, 07:51 PM #863
2-finger scrollin'
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Her story - my boyfriend acts like an ass, so I faked an injury, broke up with him, and now on my way to let his best friend fuck me....
in der pooperhuisen
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02-01-2009, 08:40 PM #864
Obama's Robot Lies Too
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Rental Mental crashes yard sale style right under the lift I'm riding with my 6 year old daughter.
Gaper grabs his nether regions and screams, not in a funny way....AAAhhhhh my DICK. (Not AAAhhhh my balls, but AAAhhhh my Dick. )
6 year old daughter says "Dad, when that happens don't you hurt your Balls?"
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02-01-2009, 10:15 PM #865
tokoloshe
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No hand jobs = dumped? Originally Posted by puhisurfer
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02-01-2009, 10:23 PM #866
The Shred Pirate Roberts
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Originally Posted by El Chupacabra
good one! Originally Posted by Steven S. Dallas
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02-02-2009, 04:59 AM #867
I R KAPTIN SERIUS
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So last night after a marathon of flights back from my honeymoon, i finally make it back to the states. The TSA "Officer" confiscates the tiny ass snow globe from my wife's pack which was meant for my goddaughter. He says, " would you like to at least keep the box?". fucking retard.
A woman reported to police at 6:30 p.m. that she was being "smart-mouthed."
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02-02-2009, 05:47 AM #868
Close enough.
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Yesterday a boarder in front of me in the line waiting for the rope to drop attempts to stomp his board and ends up stomping it on my skis. He mutters something and keeps doing it. Seconds later his shitty headphones break into 3 pieces, I said something along the lines of "karma, bitch" and he takes his board off and walks away.
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02-02-2009, 06:43 PM #869
lady jesus got banned!
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"they are a good ski; they just don't match my current desire to have a more twin-tippy touring ski."
referring to his BD megawatts
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02-02-2009, 07:38 PM #870
Registered User
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BWAAAAAHAHAHAHAHAHAH!!!!
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02-03-2009, 12:37 AM #871
Registered User
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Similar experience: One day in May, 2003, I thought I'd go and ski Quandary Peak via the Christo Couloir. The road to the reservoir alternated between bare and snowdrifts, so I had to hike it both ways maybe 2 miles and about 500' elevation one way. The hike was a bit of a drag, but I had a good time. Originally Posted by TeleHoar
About half way up, I saw an old beater truck stuck in a snowdrift (see attached photo). It looked like it had been there quite a while. Bummer. That year was really dry until an epic March blizzard, so I figured that the truck might have gotten stuck then.
...
On the hike down I heard an awful racket. After a few minutes of walking, I came around a bend and saw the truck blasting its way up through the snow. That crazy fucker really wanted to get up that road.
I'm still not sure who the gaper in the story is ... but my jaw dropped when he drove by.
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02-05-2009, 12:10 PM #872
Typical White Person
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02-05-2009, 12:31 PM #873
Quatsch!
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This week, I have a friend out from NY. He's 6'1" 190lbs. I lent him my 195 SuperBROs. After skiing one run (on a groomer), he saidme "Dood, these skis are waay too short and really fat."
"My policies are based not on some economics theory, but on things I and millions like me were brought up with: an honest day's work for an honest day's pay; live within your means; put by a nest egg for a rainy day; pay your bills on time; support the police." M. Thatcher (RIP)
"...
Judges smoke it, even the lawyer too...So you've got to legalize it..." Peter Tosh
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02-05-2009, 12:42 PM #874
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last wk on the chair at Alpine... talking w/ a marginally cute snowboarder.
her: i really like Sugar Bowl on a powder day... they have great crevasses.
edit: page top!!It's not that I'm lazy, it's that I just don't care.
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02-09-2009, 01:35 PM #875
safe as milk
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after skiing many laps on red line at magic saturday, from the chair:
"i hope those are your rock skis"
the trail was in great shape - 10 days after the last storm no less - a few rocks here and there, but no serious trouble avoiding 'em at speed if you know how to turn/steer.
if there was a chair over the woods would he say "i hope you have your chainsaw skis?"
as for my bases, one wide and shallow scuff after 10 not-too-cautious laps
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