Thread: Best Gaper qoute of the weekend?

Riding chair 2 at Loveland yesterday, and it stops. Again. I hear an instructor below telling clients in pink jackets and fanny packs, "Now this is rated green on the trail map, but it would normally be a blue!"

Awesome. Way to hold back the ability level, buddy! Real strong work. Intimidation is definitely the best tactic for inspiring confidence.

Maybe not a total gaper quote per se, but it still irked me some.

Last Tuesday, I had some token "wow, they're so wide!" comment about my Lotuses, to which I replied "Obviously, you're not a golfer." That made me chuckle.

theres nothing i enjoy more than leading gapers into saying ridiculous shit. whenever a snowlerblader rides the lift with me its an awesome time. praxis are a curse in that you always get the fat ski comment, but that comment always starts a conversation that can be directed toward ridiculous things.

I was riding Casper today. Tourist looks up at Casper Bowl and says..."I heard that the bomb that bowl. Do they ever groom it?"

I explain a little bit, that there is no lift access, you have to hike, it's really, really steep,etc.

He says "Why on earth would a ski area have a place with no lift access? That's just dumb. "

I laughed, but seeing that the plan is for East Ridge chair to be moved to the headwall, in reality he nailed Jerry Blann's feelings on the subject at hand.

"Do you need some sort of license or permit to go try that there stunt ditch?"

"Some guy broke his neck"

yeah it may be picky but...

There are nine of us-at Brighton we are 25% of the population of the entire mountain on this work day. We stop for a rest, completely at side of trail, in a downhill line no more than one skier wide.

Snowboarder: " Man you are all blocking the trail"

Seriously you guys may even sympathise but he had no NFI

Answer-Me pretty straight and mate even straigher, absolutely no concurring and completely simultaneous-"Fuck off idiot-learn to board"

Not exactly a quote. After weeks of trying to get some non skier friends out to the local hill(~400' of vert) we finally made it to ride some nice boilerplate.

In the group of 5 of us there we 4 pairs of jeans and 2 carhartt jackets.

I was so proud.

Originally Posted by Spartacus087

Not exactly a quote. After weeks of trying to get some non skier friends out to the local hill(~400' of vert) we finally made it to ride some nice boilerplate.

In the group of 5 of us there we 4 pairs of jeans and 2 carhartt jackets.

I was so proud.

^^^^ Keeps it real!^^^^

Today up after having walked down the whole arete at the Aiguille du Midi in total whiteout and storm, a snowboarder guy said to me: "I didnt realize this was off-piste"

His two friends were still trying to make their way down the rope by sliding on their asses, absolutely terrified.

I politely explained to him that it is highly advizable to know what the hell you are doing if you are heading down this place. And in a whiteout it is really dangerous... Then i had to take off, hope they turned around like i told them to..

Gaper looking at my fat skis and BC pack... "Looks like you decided to go extreme skiing today?"

Originally Posted by Spartacus087

Not exactly a quote. After weeks of trying to get some non skier friends out to the local hill(~400' of vert) we finally made it to ride some nice boilerplate.

In the group of 5 of us there we 4 pairs of jeans and 2 carhartt jackets.

I was so proud.

Saw a guy at the top of Saddle chute at Mt Rose--very steep, very firm, very narrow, very longvery bumpy--wearing a "Reno Rugby" jacket. I was laughing to myself until I saw him make it top to bottom in about 15 seconds, on his feet. Sometimes clothes make the man, sometimes the man makes the clothes. Glad I kept my mouth shut

Admittedly not a quote, but...

It was a bluebird day at Mt. Hood Meadows on Sunday, and the soccer moms and jeans/sweatshirt skiers were out in force. In the after-lunch rush at the Mt. Hood Express chair, some gaper failed to get on the chair, and wound up hanging off the front.

They stopped the chair when he was about 15 feet past the loading zone: his feet were only about 3 feet off the ground. The "ground" in this case was 2 feet of untracked snow (flat ground right under the lift, so it's untouched all season long), so all 400 people in the line started yelling for him to jump, dammit. We're pretty impatient because it was about a 15-minute line before they stopped the chair.

But no...he manages to cling desperately to the chair until every lift op drops what they're doing, all grab a big tarp (like the kind of thing that firemen might hold under a burning building), and hold it under him to catch him. Lift is stopped for about 5 minutes, making everyone furious.

Then, disregarding the fact that everyone in line is yelling things like "back of the line chump!" and threatening him with physical harm, he tries to head back to the front of the line (!!).

The crowd was getting pretty ugly -- fortunately for the gaper, a lift op yanked him out of line and took him into the lift shack to have him fill out an "incident report".

We decided that was our sign to head home before all the gapers got off the hill and back into their cars...

Last Saturday at Sunday River, it was snowing pretty good and we were enjoying the fresh pow. I brought along this foreign kid who mouthed off so much, I wanted to strangle him:

On grooming: "This is terrible. Don't they ever groom this? You can't expect people to ski this. In (foreign country), they bring out the grooming tractors as soon as the snow falls."

On the cloudy weather: "Why do they let people ski in this weather? In (foreign country), if the sun isn't out, they won't allow you to ski. They should close this place."

Originally Posted by snowmonster

Last Saturday at Sunday River, it was snowing pretty good and we were enjoying the fresh pow. I brought along this foreign kid who mouthed off so much, I wanted to strangle him:

On grooming: "This is terrible. Don't they ever groom this? You can't expect people to ski this. In (foreign country), they bring out the grooming tractors as soon as the snow falls."

On the cloudy weather: "Why do they let people ski in this weather? In (foreign country), if the sun isn't out, they won't allow you to ski. They should close this place."

That's when you knock him down, take his skis off, take them with you and leave.

"Do those Dynafit bindings drive that ski [Gotama]?"

Hey dude, can you still teleski with your heels locked down.

In the Ursa lift line..."ooh honey look, there's one of those people with those wide skis they use for the terrain park"

When I first posted this back on page 4, I was a dumbass who couldn’t figure how to post pics so I’m sure few if any followed my link. Now I’m a dumbass who can post pics. Thought this was worthy of a 2nd go round with included pic.


Me: “Let me take your picture, I take the pic of the day for the Magic website” (untrue, just know the guy that does)

Alice Cooper: “Really?”

Me: “yeah, I’ll put you on the internet”

AC “Internet? Great, hold on, let me take my hat off” (takes hat off & shakes hair wildly)

When i saw him in the bar later he was so pumped he & his family made the pic of the day.

Why was AC skiing Magic?

Pretty sure he was joking by calling him Alice Cooper. Alice is WAY more haggard looking...I think you'd be able to see the divits in his face. I don't know though.

Sorry, AC “lookalike”

Really not the point of my story as it could work with any old heavy metal rocker in leather. Take your pick.

Kind of a bummer for his little kid on a board being stopped on the flats like that.

He's got his thumb up.

I admit, I didn't actually look at the photo.

Last year at Cataloochee a girl stopped me as I was on my way to the bar and ask if I can show here how to get her skis on. I took a look at what she was doing and just told her to turn the ski around. She clicked in just fine then.