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Thread: Best Gaper qoute of the weekend?
02-04-2008, 08:26 PM #276Registered User
- Join Date
- Feb 2008
Some parents asking me about lessons/the hill the other day:
Me: Hey, what type of runs do you kids ski on?
Parents: Well, back home we ski only black diamonds and blue squares.
Me: Ok, where are you from?
Parents: We are from Indiana.
Me: Oh... Ok. If you look behind me, look at the run under the Gondola. Do you ski that type of stuff? (Bwana - an easier black)
Parents: Are you kidding us? That must be atleast a triple black...
Me: Actually, that is one of our easier black runs...
Parents: Oh, in that case we ski it.
End of the day:
Parents: So how did our kids do?
Another Instructor: Well, we moved them to level 4 (not parallel on green, no hockey stop).
Parents: What, our kids are level 8 instructors.
Another Instructor: Actually, to be level 8 they must be parallel and zip lining black bumps.
Parents: This is outrageous. Our kids are level 8, and should have been in a level 8 class. We demand a full refund.
Last edited by Erls; 02-04-2008 at 08:29 PM.
02-04-2008, 08:32 PM #277
Last edited by Nick Pappagiorgio; 02-06-2008 at 12:38 PM.
02-06-2008, 12:30 PM #278Registered User
- Join Date
- Feb 2008
at Mt. Snow, VT over the weekend.
guy standing next to me at the lift line talking to his friend:
guy1: man, my ski boots seem to feel really loose after that run, should i buckle them tighter?
friend: oh yeah, that happens some times.
guy1: yeah, what do i do to fix it?
friend: well....whats yer din setting?
guy1: whats that?
friend: i heard if you have a high din, you should buckle the boot tighter.
02-06-2008, 02:01 PM #279
02-06-2008, 03:15 PM #280
02-06-2008, 04:12 PM #281
My friend and I see a tourist in his socks walking down the A Lodge covered stairs that have tons of ice and snow on them:
Me: "Wow that looks cold"
Tourist: "Yea, I forgot my boots" (His ski boots were slung over his shoulder)
Every interlodge morning in the GMD dining room:
"Is interlodge over yet?" when there are a 100 people walking around the parking lot. Or they freak out when they find out about interlodge, "You mean we're in lockdown!?"
A lady by the A Lodge pointing to a small cliff across the road:
"I saw some snowboarders jumping into that powder snow up there. One of them was even carrying a shovel on his backpack to dig himself out of the snow when he landed."
In general the terms "powder snow" and "extreme skiiers" make me crack up. Tourists always ask, "Are you one of those extreme skiiers?"
And I saw a dude yesterday with his beater cords (pow cords); one end firmly tied around his knees and the other end securely attached to his bindings. All I could think was that if he fell his skis would beat him to death.
02-06-2008, 04:46 PM #282
It's not a quote but I saw these bad boys locked up this weekend
it gets better!
02-06-2008, 04:49 PM #283
I heard this on Saturday at Squaw (to the best of my memory), and managed to get a crappy pic with my phone.
Guy on SnoBlades: "I'm SO stoked I bought the fat ones or I'd sink in all this pow"
Guy on Skis: "Dude, I'm telling you you should ditch the poles its way better"
Guy on SnoBlades: "I feel better in the gnar gnar with them"
I've never actually heard anyone say "Gnar gnar" and mean it.
okbyeTELL YOUR BOOBS TO QUIT STARING AT MY EYES!!!1!
Here, I'll help you out:
02-08-2008, 10:03 PM #284
on the chairlift in Breckenridge. Can you turn right on red here???
All I could muster was a feeble "Yes."Ride Duro
02-08-2008, 11:27 PM #285
WOW those vids of the Anton Gliders almost made me piss myself. "regular shaped skis dont work"?!?!?!? I love that the guys deffinition of an expert skier is anybody who can carve a turn. I really want to see someone try to ski pow on those. Tip dive anyone?"When the mountains speak, wise men listen" -John Muir
02-08-2008, 11:44 PM #286
That dude needs a serious ass beating.
02-09-2008, 02:18 AM #287
02-09-2008, 12:38 PM #288Registered User
- Join Date
- Jun 2005
@ the Anton Gliders:
Well, all those guys in the movies, you know, the ones that don't even bother to turn? They must really suck.
Couldn't he have done the exact same thing by making a stiff ski with a LOT of camber? I think he would shit himself if he saw a pair of Praxis.
Last edited by koolaideprived; 02-09-2008 at 12:42 PM.Forced days in bed this winter: 48
Forced days on crutches/walker: 37
I'M WALKING AGAIN!!!
Days on snow: Are you kidding?
02-09-2008, 02:14 PM #289
I'm changing my boots on the tailgate of my car at Song Mtn in CNY. Two guys walk by and one says to me, "Are you from out West? Everybody there changes at their car."
I must exude western steeze.
02-09-2008, 02:45 PM #290
A local ski Patrol asked me
"how do you like those big fat Powder Boards here in the east"
(Me looking at My seths) "actualy they are an all-mountain ski"
"around here we ski shaped skis"
02-09-2008, 02:49 PM #291
They were tryin to catch me ridin' dirty
and succeded, today at smuggs me and 3 friends jumped the lift at a spot that is literally 3 feet high to get the best run i have ever had in my life. but next run we get to the top and see a fucking sea of red jackets, like seriously they had 15 patrollers stop us, and one guy got right in my face and asked if i jumped the lift like he was trying to scare me and i was like "uhhhhhhh maybe" and handed him my pass. then they made us ride the lift DOWN, (sooo humiliating, but kinda funny) some guy went "FUCKIN MORONS" as he smoked his cigarette as he went by, what a faggot...oh well at least i wont get cancer and he will. so we get there and talk to them and apparently we lost our passes for the season and we get arrested if we go on the property again.
not complaining or anything, cause about half the patrollers were real cool about it, they were trying to say we didnt shred it hard enough but they were clearly jealous we got to hit it and they didnt yet, and it was the only avalanche ive ever seen in the east so its all shit now.
we shouldnt have jumped the lift but all in all it was the best run ive ever had so i dont regret it.
and if anyone has experience with something like this....is there a way to fight it that we will for sure get our passes back? like a loophole or something in the rules maybe....im gonna look and see."
02-09-2008, 02:51 PM #292
very funny Scotty. Follow me indeed.
Today at Beaver Creek: Two guys get off the escalator, one says to the other, "you wanna get something to eat?" The other guy says "Nah, I can make it an hour or an hour and a half, lets go get some fresh cord before it gets all chewed up"
02-09-2008, 03:10 PM #293
at mt snow last week, this guy was on tv talking about all these different skis. he found one that was a tremendous 74mm underfoot, compared to all the other 65's or whatever he had been talking about. and he mentioned this because the fat base allows you to float in the powder.-Ryan
02-09-2008, 04:20 PM #294
Riding the chair at Alta I had this enlightening conversation:
Dork: My brother's had five knee surgeries.
Me: That's too bad.
D: Knee injuries are caused by people riding skis that are too long and too stiff for them.
Last edited by Bud Green; 02-09-2008 at 05:34 PM.[X] Grind on the mind.
02-09-2008, 05:00 PM #295
02-09-2008, 05:17 PM #296
Now where's the infamous Wolf Creek lift jump?
02-09-2008, 05:33 PM #297
Heard some people getting stoked because they got "fresh tracks" down a groomer. It was sick.
02-09-2008, 08:38 PM #298
got change for a nickel....
02-09-2008, 08:40 PM #299They were tryin to catch me ridin' dirty
Nobody is that stupid!
02-09-2008, 09:26 PM #300
i have a few golden gaper quotes
old gaper lady with a neon one piece and a large fanny pack
" Where can you rent one of those beepers that lets you into the dive"
at a ski shop in while one gaper was talking to the sales man about skis
sales man: these skis here ( pointing to squads) only about 2% of the skier population can ski
British Gaper: are you talking about the Atomic Metrons because i have trouble skiing mine
and the classic's
"this is where all the locals go"
" i read in my guide book..."
" this balaclava really keeps the wind off my forehead'
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