Thread: Best Gaper qoute of the weekend?

on whistler, get on the chair with two singles, one is 20 something year old girl on teles, no back pack, no bc gear, on emerald chair, all greens. the other single asks her, "teles, eh, you got skins on those today?"

last friday at beaver creek was good. I pulled into the back of the bear lot for a mid day excursion. The family next to me was clearly not from around the area. The dad asked me "does the bus come by here and pick us up" to which I replied "no you have to walk over there to the stop". Mind you this was maybe 500 feet away, nothing far by any means. When I said that the dad shook his head in disbelief, I was just waiting for a deer valley type comment.

not from this weekend, but on a few different occasions, I have gotten the

"so do they let you double tipped skiers in them snowboard parks now?"

yea

"so you hit them metal railings on those things"


and the best are the broken binding comments towards teles. and I'm talking about the serious guys, not the ones who just like to give people shit for tele'ing

I had a good one at Jay this weekend.
Sick day, bluebird, 8" of fresh. Everything was great. I was skiing very well, my boots wernt hurting me.
Tweaked my knee around 2pm so I called it a day. On the way back to the parking lot, on some low angle groomer, a french canadian, quebec no doubt, snowboarder ran over my skis while we were still moving. He came to a stop on my ski tips. Keep in mind im still sliding at this point with this moron standing on my skis. I yell at the moron, and he turns to me and laughs. Without thinking I punched the asshat right in the side of the head. Knocked his ass right to the ground and kept going as he yelled at me in french.

Later i thought about it...I should have hit him harder

o yeah, he was wearing the burton money camo bogner. that might have added to the impuse to punch him

Originally Posted by AKbruin

Multiple times in Kirkwood's unusually and egregiously long lift lines, I heard such comments on my Praxis as: "The dude's skiing on waterskis." "Those are ridiculous. I bet he can't even turn them." Bear in mind that there was about two feet of variable soft/crusty mank this weekend. Also bear in mind that the people making such comments seemed to be on either 160cm race stock Fishers/Atomics (ideal skis for heavy powder!) or five-year-old midfats.

I'm not really into the "he/she's a gaper" thing, but if you're going to make dumb comments in the lift lines about others, at least do so so that they can't hear you.

(My Praxis, btw, have been $$$.)

Well, to be fair, the Praxis are pretty extreme looking boutique-made skis. Also, some of us were college ski racer bums who couldn't afford 7 pairs of skis for every type of condition. Plus, you know you love the attention.

However, having finally scratched some money together recently to buy a used pair of 04/05 K2 SPs (first twin, first "fat" ski), I have to say people love them. I notice people all the time looking down at them in the lift line and smiling. I'm sure I'll be getting plenty of gaper comments as the season goes on though, they're pretty hard to miss.

I'm going to have to give up my own gaper moment, and it was particularly bad because this one not only makes me look retarded, but is pretty insulting as well.

About 3 years ago I was riding up a lift which they stopped in order to load a sit-ski onto. This was a sunny spring day, so naturally there were a lot of tourists around at Sugar Bowl. This lift in particular, Christmas Tree, was mostly green/blue, and happened to have our training course on it.

Me: I can't believe they have to stop the lift to load those stupid snow-bikes on.
Woman next to me: Actually, those are for handicapped people who want to ski.
Me: (having the sudden urge to jump off the chair and kill myself)

Oh, and of course there were always the snowboarders who would ride into our race courses on USCSA competition days, under the orange tape and around the gates. When we'd yell at them they'd usually give us gestures that would suggest, "Whatever skiers, I'm totally rad and shredding it up OB, broheim!" Sure, whatever.

Not skiing related but I guess they're not just limited to skiing

I was hunting grouse a couple of years ago and was walking along a trail heading back to my truck. When two girls came around a bend. As soon as they saw me they stopped, turned around and went back up the trail. A few minutes later they came back down the trail this time with a smelly wannabe hippy guy. (had dreads and I could smell him from 5 feet away)

Hippy: Huntin big game?
me: nope I'm huntin ducks
Hippy: did you bag any yet?
me: not yet but you should have seen the wood duck I shot last week it had 30 inch tailfeathers.
Hippy: sounds like a nice one. What do they look like?

I just kept walking

riding today at kirkwood......

gaper..."so have you been out today?"
me...."yes, it is really nice"
gaper..."come with me i'll show you where the powder is."
me...."oh cool, where have you been going?"
gaper..."1st time up this lift, i thought i would just ride the chair line."

i have never had a person say "come with me i'll show the powder" that actually had no idea where he was

Blasting down a diamond slope at Mt Snow, decide to pull over and wait for friends, see female figure at good stopping point on left, pull over hang out for a few. Friends pass by, a closer look tells me this person is terrified, and way over her head. She turns and asks me in the middle of a black diamond slope: "Are you going down?"

Originally Posted by Franz Klammer

"Why do you have a different ski on the left and right side?"

(I ski with the old MoJo90)

I got that one from a guy with a HEAVY Russian accent who very well could have been Warren Miller's dad - if Warren was Russian. I was skiing the "crime scene" Rossi Scratch FS - one has the police scene tape on the tip, and the other has the body outline on the tail. I hate the graphic, but the skis are killer.

I saw him from the lift a number of times - he was really a good skier for someone older than time. I hope I'm still making turns at his age...

at the canyons saturday

"are the snowboard hills easier or harder then the ski ones?"

Originally Posted by sconniestyle

at the canyons saturday

"are the snowboard hills easier or harder then the ski ones?"

Easier.

This thread is GOLD, Jerry, Gold!!

Originally Posted by GunPowder

"Are you going down?"

NOW THATS AN INVITATION.

Was she tasty. Did you do it right there in the middle of the run

WHERES THE TR. This is so useless without pics.

Originally Posted by KillingCokes

NOW THATS AN INVITATION.

Was she tasty. Did you do it right there in the middle of the run

WHERES THE TR. This is so useless without pics.

Agreed. You should've just dropped the poles and started lickin your lips and said "looks like it"

WHERES THE TR. This is so useless without pics.

She had the shape all right, but when i got closer i saw she was even older then the typical YummyMummy.

My reply, before turning and doing the road-runner-puff-of-smoke-act:
"Baby Were ALL goin' down"

Sorry no TR, As a Noob on these threads, i thought who on this board would be interested in my Inbounds, Milquetoast, Mt. Snow, Gaper Outing?

I'm doing Park City in a few weeks, Maybe I'll do a Inbounds, Milquetoast, Park City, Gaper, TR?

I MEANT A TR OF THE LABIA LAPPIN. I NEED PICS OF THAT

Originally Posted by Kiko

Well, to be fair, the Praxis are pretty extreme looking boutique-made skis. Also, some of us were college ski racer bums who couldn't afford 7 pairs of skis for every type of condition. Plus, you know you love the attention.

I didn't mean to imply that people on race skis or midfats in powder are necessarily gapers. (Indeed, I started last season on five-year-old X-Screams.) I only meant to point out that these people aren't exactly in the best position to cast aspersions on my choice of fat/funny-shapped skis on a pow day.

Unfortunately I missed out on the first hand experience, but this one is worth sharing...
This is at a small local hill that had a pretty good 25+ cms over night plus another 10-15 on the week. generally a great place to watch some pretty funny gaper antics (granted they are generally younger (10-16) kids)

In the day lodge...
gaper - "are you a ski patroler"
volunteer patrol (wearing the blue and yellow) - "yes"
g - "I lost both my skis and a boot on the hill (rentals), could you get a sled and get them for me"
vp - " how did you get down?"
g - "oh I walked"
vp - " where on the hill?"
g - "in the deep snow"
vp - "and you just left them?"
g - "I looked for a while but couldn't find them"
vp - "we'll see what we can do."

I MEANT A TR OF THE LABIA LAPPIN. I NEED PICS OF THAT

There is no TR of the LL thank god. Besides, Mrs. GunPowder is bullseye With a shotgun, so I'm not wasting any LL (possibly my final LL) on anyone older then me.

At least it was a good call refraining from a TR of my Inbounds, Milquetoast, Mt. Snow, Gaper Outing.

Originally Posted by GunPowder

Besides, Mrs. GunPowder is bullseye With a shotgun,

NOW THAT'S FUCKIN FUNNY

yo -- I love these , and

didn't get very far ,,, and

wanted to drop-in and Go the Other way --





defy [ can't ] .


... just thinkin' , j

Guy skis up to a packed lift line at Vail on Saturday and starts yelling “ones” progressively louder for a solid 30 seconds until someone figures out what he is getting pissed off about and points him to the singles line.

Originally Posted by skiingsamurai

I had a good one at Jay this weekend.
Sick day, bluebird, 8" of fresh. Everything was great. I was skiing very well, my boots wernt hurting me.
Tweaked my knee around 2pm so I called it a day. On the way back to the parking lot, on some low angle groomer, a french canadian, quebec no doubt, snowboarder ran over my skis while we were still moving. He came to a stop on my ski tips. Keep in mind im still sliding at this point with this moron standing on my skis. I yell at the moron, and he turns to me and laughs. Without thinking I punched the asshat right in the side of the head. Knocked his ass right to the ground and kept going as he yelled at me in french.

Later i thought about it...I should have hit him harder

o yeah, he was wearing the burton money camo bogner. that might have added to the impuse to punch him

Another benifit of skiing.........you have poles........use them.......POLE CHECK.

Originally Posted by Gnu

Hell is Ann Arbor?

Well Duh!


That, and Hell is a town in Michigan believe it or not...

Originally Posted by GoEhuge

Serving breakfast to some fucks from NY last year when I was at Alta: "Oh gosh, it looks terrible out there. Today is definatly a day to stay in and enjoy the hot tub. Lets hope the skiing gets better later in the week." 2 foot pow day... counldn't leave till this asshole had finished his 2 hour long breakfast.

I'd like to add that pretty much everything that came out of my psycho bar fighting roommate, Camel toe's mouth was a memorable gaper quote. Hey buddy! Missing the canyon crew A-team and passing desk time on this forum!
Let me know when you come up to Jackson.

ps. they were all from new york, and they were all fucks. cheers to nap shifts while working the breakfast buffet table