Thread: Best Gaper qoute of the weekend?

as much as you wish that was made up... sorry but the gapers we get in Tahoe are second to none.

Serving breakfast to some fucks from NY last year when I was at Alta: "Oh gosh, it looks terrible out there. Today is definatly a day to stay in and enjoy the hot tub. Lets hope the skiing gets better later in the week." 2 foot pow day... counldn't leave till this asshole had finished his 2 hour long breakfast.

It is second hand but one of my favourites is:
"These skiing conditions are fantastic!"

In the last 48 hours, I heard the 114" we've had so far described as "en epic snow year" and once again got comments about the fatness of my 76mm metrons.

Girlski:"Other notable gaper moves that nearly sent me through the roof on Sunday as we were driving to the hill- wet but bare roads and a line up a mile long to put chains on. WTF?"

As a Puget sounder I was always curious about that also....jeeps, subarus, 4-runners, X-terras all chaining up on a bare, wet road up to Hood. Oh well, better safe than sorry, right? Anyhoo..last year at the top of Whistler, looking off to this magnificent black, sharp tusk off in the distance. One texan to another: "You reckon that's the black tusk??" Silence and dropped jaws from all of us in the peanut gallery....

"I LIKE MOTOCROSS AND PAINTBALL"

he then proceded to spend the rest of the chair talking about paintball

A few of my overheard favorites:

"At what altitude do the caribou turn into moose?"

and asked at The Club in Valdez (the window behind the bar is about 50' from the harbor)......."What is the elevation here?"

Commenting on my nordica blowers, "Are them fatties good fer cuttin or somethin? Is that why all you kids have em?"

Me, "Yeah I've cut my fair share of fools with 'em."

I think he meant carving.

How's the snow?

If you get caught in an avalanche be sure to make yourself into a ball so you can dig out when the slide stops.

Originally Posted by Thrill Hammer

not this weekend, but my all time favorite gaper quote.

Riding up peak 8 super monkey at breck, approaching the mid-load. I see some.....guy.....on the wrong side of the horse gates, holding on to the post for dear life. Think to myself "this isn't gonna be good" As we approach the mid-load station, gaper lets go of the post he's been clutching, drifts forward 3 feet and falls on the ground like all his vertebrae have been removed. Me (and all the other people on the chair) start yelling at this turd to get up, cuz we're about to hit him since he's sitting on the ground RIGHT WHERE THE CHAIR IS GONNA BE IN 2 SECONDS. The Gaper in question does not think this is serious enough to make him get up OFF HIS ASS. He proceeds to remain seated, zen-like, as the chair approaches him and gets stopped on top of him basically. I look at the guy who is now about a foot below me and on the ground, with my skis all over him, and he turns to me and with the DUMBEST look on his face says

"I can't move"

"I don't think you're trying very hard!!"

as if this whole display wasn't enough, after the lifties get this idiot up off the ground (literally had to lift him up) he proceeds to put his skis on the ground like he's going to click into them right there. We spent the rest of the chair ride shaking our heads in collective disbelief.

I have always wanted to see someone eat it at the load point but it never does. I hate chair 5. I have to ride both of those chairs from grand timber.

Saw these on a list from jellystone/Teton Nat'l Park/JH.

"When do you let the animals out of their cages (not refering to the local people)"
"Aren't there any rides here"
"Why do I have to walk so far (on the paved trails)"
"Does that happen often (in reference to old faithful)"
"How hot are those (you mean the boiling water coming out of the earth)"
"Are you allowed to hunt those animals (in reference to buffalo on the road)"
"Who can I ask to turn off the snowmakers (real snow falling)"
"Can I go there" - random, solo, way out in the BC
JH tram riders with no gear to ride down "That was boring, we couldn't see anything" It was dumping at the base at the same time. Miss those days.

Looking at some Volkl Katanas in the shop:

"Is that what they call a fat ski?

Any use of the phrase "packed powder".

Originally Posted by Nick Pappagiorgio

With a join date of 9/07?

That has to be pretty unimpossible.

wouldnt unimpossible just be possible? it is like irregardless, it is a double neg. inside a word

and my own addition to the thread

"at what altitude does a deer become a moose?" really?!?!?!

Have heard this multiple (double digits) times

Originally Posted by depressed skier forced to be LA

wouldnt unimpossible just be possible? it is like irregardless, it is a double neg. inside a word

It was a Simpsons reference that clearly what over your's and other people's heads.

Originally Posted by Nick Pappagiorgio

It was a Simpsons reference that clearly what over your's and other people's heads.

I'll admit the Simpson's part went over my head, but "unpossible" has been used for years here.

the weekend before last, um ya...

People didn't understand because the quote is:
"Me fail english? That's unpossible."

Irregardless is a bastard child of irrespective and regardless and because of idiots around the world has been added to the dictionary.

Welcome to tetongravity, the message board of the future where nothing can possiblai go wrong...

Originally Posted by old goat

I've got 2.
#1--woman on a chiar lift tells me in all seriousness that we're going to get 20 feet over the weekend. (That was about 1992--I think we got about fourty feet that winter at Tahoe)
#2- riding the old collins lift at Alta right after opening--3 feet of fresh. I hear whooping (people used to whoop in the powder back in the day). I look up at the surrounding slopes but it's two early--no one up there yet. Then I look down--2 guys in cowboy hats on the flat cat track next to the midmountain lodge in full snowplow position, whooping.

Who says people don't whoop anymore!
My favorite is the guys wondering how the moguls are made.

Originally Posted by Microcosm

Who says people don't whoop anymore!

Seriously -- on a powder day, you can hear my seven-year-olds from the lift.

Last weekend I was standing in the lift line with my 8 year old daughter. Earlier in the day she had heard me use the term gaper. She looks up at me and asks, "Dad what's a gaper?" Before I could answer a guy blows through the "SLOW" sign and runs into me. "Well there you have it sweetie" I'm pretty sure she got the point.

Jay

Lift line at Sugarbush a few years back, one guy turns to another and asks if he has ever been over to MRG. The second guy says he has been once but won't go back until they update the place with some nice amenities like slope side condos, better gooming and a village at the base. The first guy says, "oh, it's not as nice as Tremblant"?

It wasn't really the conversation that gave them away. Full blown Spyder outfits and Metrons tend to do it before they ever speak..................

" So guys what exactly is the gnar."