Best Gaper qoute of the weekend?

**Edgnar** · 12-21-2010, 04:50 PM

Originally Posted by Climber Joe

Cute acronym... but if everyone was as gnar a ripper as you, I would be out of a job, there would be no inbounds powder after 10am, and you would be the bottom of the barrel instead of almost the bottom.

SPORES are what keep the sport going.

Quit cunting up the Gaper thread JONG.

We all know this shit.

**Shadam** · 12-21-2010, 07:58 PM

Walking-in-a-winter-wonderland!!!

**jonesy** · 12-22-2010, 05:28 PM

Sooo were riding up the lift and about 1/2 way a buddy of mine says to the guy next to him where's your other ski? The guy says I don't know it was on my foot when I loaded. I'm thinking it's a set up and this guy will go right off the ramp on 1 like no big deal. Didn't happen he crashed on the ramp. How do you lose a ski and don't know it. Wow.

**old goat** · 12-22-2010, 05:32 PM

It's very important to keep your tips up after loading the chair.

**thedeathstar** · 12-22-2010, 08:11 PM

Originally Posted by Shadam

When I ask people why they wear a helmet, a common response is ...
"I feel more confident!"

Why do you care enough to ask people why they wear helmets? I guess it is either pretty nice to get confidence from never having crashed, or sad that it comes from the thrill of possible head trauma. Rock on.

**skiballs** · 12-22-2010, 08:39 PM

Originally Posted by thedeathstar

Why do you care enough to ask people why they wear helmets? I guess it is either pretty nice to get confidence from never having crashed, or sad that it comes from the thrill of possible head trauma. Rock on.

Great first post.
You exude the pure gnar.
Hey, have you seen Star Wars.

**nickel** · 12-22-2010, 09:01 PM

so this well meaning dude today is talking to his/a girl he's riding with and when she mentions her boots are loose, he confidently asserts/rambles on about how this is a good thing in today's conditions mostly (chopped up 10 cms of christmas pow).

I kind of just felt bad for this poor individual and his protege... Who's spreading this garbage? I mean is there someone out there literaly telling these poor people that in soft snow you should loosen your buckles?

just sounds awful...

**TurxSki** · 12-22-2010, 09:05 PM

Originally Posted by jonesy

...The guy says I don't know it was on my foot when I loaded...he crashed on the ramp. How do you lose a ski and don't know it. Wow.

Back when I was a beginner JONG, where it asks for your weight on the Rental Form, I made the mistake of putting down how much I weigh "just out of the shower".
Clicked into the ski's, and as I headed to the lift, the ski's stayed put on the snow, and I walked out of them, and prolly fell over.
Oh how we laughed...
(I'm an experienced JONG now)

**The SnowShow** · 12-22-2010, 10:41 PM

Originally Posted by jonesy

Sooo were riding up the lift and about 1/2 way a buddy of mine says to the guy next to him where's your other ski? The guy says I don't know it was on my foot when I loaded. I'm thinking it's a set up and this guy will go right off the ramp on 1 like no big deal. Didn't happen he crashed on the ramp. How do you lose a ski and don't know it. Wow.

Gold Jerry, gold

**GoAskAlice** · 12-22-2010, 11:43 PM

I'm putting petro in my Cherokee, had the skis on the yak rack side by side style. Guy walks over and the convo goes as follows:

Guy: "Those your skis?"
Me: "Yep"
Guy: "Cool!"
Me: nod silently agreeing with my level of coolness
Guy: "Both of them?"

He then proceeds to spill fuel out of his 1984 sheepdog.

Oh, and I'm a black woman.

**legallyillegal** · 12-23-2010, 02:15 AM

Originally Posted by GoAskAlice

I'm putting petro in my Cherokee, had the skis on the yak rack side by side style. Guy walks over and the convo goes as follows:

Guy: "Those your skis?"
Me: "Yep"
Guy: "Cool!"
Me: nod silently agreeing with my level of coolness
Guy: "Both of them?"

He then proceeds to spill fuel out of his 1984 sheepdog.

Oh, and I'm a black woman.

i hope cam neely punches you in the face

**fiz140** · 12-23-2010, 11:52 AM

Daddy done went down Allan Phipps with one ski on!
Overheard while waiting for guests to finish their run.

**bcd** · 12-23-2010, 12:26 PM

"Check it out. Randole* boots! Those are kinda hard to find"

Translation:
*"Randole" is a cross between randonee and andale (remeber Speedy Gonzales?).

**GimpToo** · 12-23-2010, 12:45 PM

Chairlift ride:
#1 He doesn't have his own equipment?
#2 No, he does not ski often enough, and now with the shaped skis and buckles!?!?!?!?!?

**The AD** · 12-23-2010, 01:18 PM

Originally Posted by GimpToo

#2 No, he does not ski often enough, and now with the shaped skis and buckles!?!?!?!?!?

Yeah, it's been tough ever since leather boots went out of vogue.

**Leshphilling77** · 12-23-2010, 05:36 PM

i had a guest ask me which lift gets him from copper to vail

**legallyillegal** · 12-23-2010, 09:30 PM

"what's the weather like"

look up, jackass

**caderader** · 12-24-2010, 12:37 AM

not this weekend but...walking home from a halloween party, I'd been dressed as a skier; I'm still carrying my poles and have skis strapped to my backpack.

Random guy- "You a snowboarder?"
Me- blank look of disgust "Yup," more quietly but still plenty loud enough for him to hear, "fucking idiot"
Random guy- with an I told you so attitude "I heard snowboarders were assholes"
I just chugged my beer and chuckled as I walked off

**Loon** · 12-24-2010, 03:35 AM

Happo Nagano, Japan
epic pow day in a snowstorm today
getting off the chair I see a couple begging the lifty to let them ride the lift down. They had thick aussie accents and the japanese guy running the lift was having none of it. The guy then dropped to his knees hands clasped "Please sir, PLEASE SIR, we cant, we just can't".
Thats all, didn't stick around for obvious reasons.

**karpiel** · 12-24-2010, 02:40 PM

I did a "what are those, water skis?" to someone this morning, he was not impressed.

**thisisastickup** · 12-24-2010, 03:11 PM

Walking through Midway airport in Chicago, comine home from SLC to visit the family. I have my boots over my shoulder, and a guy on the moving walkway has this conversation with me:

Him: "Are those ski boots?"
Me: "yep."
him: "So what do you use those for?"

I silently walked away.

**frito bandito** · 12-24-2010, 04:37 PM

On the lift today here in the midwest -

Gaper 1: They built a 100 foot gap here a couple years ago.
Gaper 2: Did you hit it?
Gaper 1: Nope, I didn't ski here that year. But I saw a picture.

**R_&_R** · 12-24-2010, 04:53 PM

Guy points at my katanas. "those jumping skis or what?"

**naedward81** · 12-24-2010, 05:47 PM

i live in FL now. Life sucks now, and can't wait for the GF to get into damn grad school so we can get out of this shithole and into the mountains.....end rant

my buddy:" you're from MN, do you ski?"
me: "yep"
him:' want to go to Utah?"
me:"where? Alta, the Bird?"
him:"where are those at?"
me:"hmmm? ""where in Utah did you have in mind?, I have been to big and little cottonwood, Jackson, Montana and all over Colorado"

him:" you've been to Jackson Hole? heard that place sucks, I'm talking about Park City"

(someone shoot me now.)

**PaRider380** · 12-24-2010, 06:06 PM

I can’t take these stories anymore. The original intent of this thread was funny. About half of the stories on this thread are funny. The other half make me want to vomit. I don’t understand how making fun of beginners is enjoyable. Do you make fun of handicap and retarded people too? Really, what’s the deal with some of you people? I mean the picture of the poor little kid with his pants tucked into his boots? Go over and fucking help him. Don’t stand there and take pictures of him. What the fuck? Were you picked on as a child?? Most of these stories are of hard working, good people trying to take their kids on a vacation. Yeah the dad is wearing a Carhart jacket and has no idea what he’s doing, so fucking what. Yeah they don’t know what they are talking about, so fucking what. Some of these quotes are of people just trying to make small talk on the lift. They don’t know much about the sport and are trying to talk about it. A guy points to your skis and asks if they are for jumping? What’s funny about that? He doesn’t know what they are for and is trying to find out. Why act like a snob to them? You probably went on vacation and tried something new and sounded like a dumb fuck too. I doubt the people who witnessed you ignorance are on a message board right now making fun of you.