Thread: Best Gaper qoute of the weekend?

Originally Posted by Snakeboy

1. Your fault or your buddies. If she was downhill its your fault.
2. And its your fault for not gently caressing her wounds and bringin her to the hot tub later since it was the end of the day.
3. And its your fault for not adhering to the thread subject.
4. Male (maybe?)
= way to ruin a great thread moron.

fuck offffffffff

The holidays are here and soon there will be rich peoples' kids shredding the inbounds, wearing big mtn. twintips, mounted with Dukes, wearing full-face helmets, airbag avy packs with shovel handles sticking out, wearing iPods, and sporting helmet cams.

"What exactly is the purpose of that one lone carabiner clipped onto your pack anyway?"

Heard on the chair at Stowe yesterday:

"Mid December is NOT the time to ski moguls. Stick to the groomers, work on some other things. When everything else is done, then hit the groomers."

He went on to discuss how he spent a whole day working on hockey stops.

I saw a kid beeping on the opening day at squaw. There was about 18" of fresh and they only had searchlight open (100yrds of blue grade)

Not necessary on Searchlight I agree (for that matter skiing at all on searchlight is not necessary--reminds me too much of skiing in Southern Michigan)-- but don't rule out slides on blues--I saw one a year or two ago on Spring Bowl on the Mountain Run.

Originally Posted by nickwm21

I saw a kid beeping on the opening day at squaw. There was about 18" of fresh and they only had searchlight open (100yrds of blue grade)

Maybe he thought some other terrain could open that day? Wearing your beacon to the hill if you think unskied, steeper terrain could open, is a good idea imo. Ask Montanaskier about inbounds avalanches.

Definitely not a gaper move to wear a beacon inbounds at Squaw if the past couple years are any indication. If he's wearing it on the outside of his clothes, then its a poseur move, but not a gaper move.

Originally Posted by BirdosRider

"As you know, we in the Wasatch hate booting, it's undignified and ungraceful."

TH = gaper?

Originally Posted by cmsummit

Maybe he thought some other terrain could open that day? Wearing your beacon to the hill if you think unskied, steeper terrain could open, is a good idea imo. Ask Montanaskier about inbounds avalanches.

fo sho..........

guy in lift line commenting about my EPs: "whoa man! do you have lights on your skis?"

Me: "...no, they are orange on the bottom"

my buddy, really loudly, and sarcastically, right in front of the guy: "dude! I heard you have lights on your skis!"

Originally Posted by Climber Joe

guy in lift line commenting about my EPs: "whoa man! do you have lights on your skis?"

Me: "...no, they are orange on the bottom"

my buddy, really loudly, and sarcastically, right in front of the guy: "dude! I heard you have lights on your skis!"

Guess ya had to be there.

Originally Posted by cmsummit

Maybe he thought some other terrain could open that day? Wearing your beacon to the hill if you think unskied, steeper terrain could open, is a good idea imo. Ask Montanaskier about inbounds avalanches.

Originally Posted by Sinecure

Definitely not a gaper move to wear a beacon inbounds at Squaw if the past couple years are any indication. If he's wearing it on the outside of his clothes, then its a poseur move, but not a gaper move.

I guess you guys had to be there..... It was obvious nothing else was going to open. No ramp built for red dog, no chairs on KT.

Parking guy at Alta commenting while I puT on my back protector
"where's the hockey game?"
I really just wanted to hip check him into the snowbank

Originally Posted by whyturn

Parking guy at Alta commenting while I puT on my back protector
"where's the hockey game?"
I really just wanted to hip check him into the snowbank

Anyone who doesn't wear one will give you shit. It's like the helmet thing. Don't need a helmet till you're laying next to a tree and drooling.

Originally Posted by Shadam

So its the end of the day, last run after 4pm. I'm cruising down thru the gaper zone and thus going slow and this milf wearing ipod is making the worst unpredictable turns as she works her way across the slope and lines me up but is completely oblivious. I take extreme evasive action but buddy behind me gets it wrong and BANG! bodies collide. It was ugly, 2 skiers yard sale and she was a-hurtin! But the bitch was wearing a helmet and ipod, I called out to her and she clearly didn't hear me and I wathced her line up buddy perfectly.
1 wearing ipod!
2 wearing helmet!
3 cutting across existing run!
4 FEMALE !!!!!!!!!!!!!
= way to ruin a great day

This is the best gaper quote of this thread. Way to step up Shadam and expose yourself as a complete gaper!

Basically you are saying that you are so unskilled that you or your buddy have a hard time avoiding obstacles in the trail - stationary or moving. Nice job gaper.

^^Hitting anyone from behind and then claiming that they skied into your line is a pretty gaperific move for sure.

I propose that this thread be renamed FUNNIEST gaper quote of the weekend--it doesn't have to be a quote, it doesn't have to be the weekend, but it's got to be funny. I get enough agro in my day as it is. I NEED this thread to make me laugh.

"Are those skis for helicopter skiing? Since they've got pictures of helicopters on them?"
"Yes"

While entering a well tracked traverse in an open controlled area, gaper yells, "that's not where I like to ski. See any bodies over there?"

Gaper quote: On the chair at Meadows and a guy with Spyder everything and Apache Recons strikes up a conversation.
Guy: Wow, what are THOSE?
Me: Volkl Sumos
Guy: How do you turn those things?
Me: Uhhh, lay 'em on edge and carve.
Guy: Man, they look like they're falling apart, you must be doing jumps and stuff.
Me: Not really. The leather topsheets have a tendency to get scuffed up.
Guy: LEATHER??!! How do you ski on leather? I thought all skis had plastic on the bottom.

Not a gaper quote but funny anyway: Paying for parking in downtown PDX, a decrepit bag of bones asks where she can buy a "change for a nickel" sticker. I tell her I got mine from someone on TGR. She looks dumbfounded and I realize we aren't on the same wavelength. She goes on to tell me she thinks it's a really good message. With so many drug addled hippie minds in PDX, who knows what she was thinking.

Originally Posted by SgtSkidmark

Not a gaper quote but funny anyway: Paying for parking in downtown PDX, a decrepit bag of bones asks where she can buy a "change for a nickel" sticker. I tell her I got mine from someone on TGR. She looks dumbfounded and I realize we aren't on the same wavelength. She goes on to tell me she thinks it's a really good message. With so many drug addled hippie minds in PDX, who knows what she was thinking.

That is awesome

from the powder photo annual. distinctly visible above the "deer in headlights" look: gaper gap suntan.



it would be less funny if it weren't an ad for Alta.

^^lol

I was at lost trail last weekend. There was a group of ~5 guys, all maybe 17ish. One had the stupid short poles. As I walk by on the way to grab some food, I overhear one of them ask, "Whats with the short poles?"

Buddy replies, "They are way better for the park"

"But we aren't skiing the park. We almost never do, so you just look like a retard"

Me at 5:45 this morning in Boulder - "Hey darlin', Vail just got 5 inches, want to make a run up there?"
gaper wife - "I can stay in bed and get more than 5 inches..."

Originally Posted by guroo270

Me at 5:45 this morning in Boulder - "Hey darlin', Vail just got 5 inches, want to make a run up there?"
gaper wife - "I can stay in bed and get more than 5 inches..."

Funny. She usually only calls me on your work days.

Originally Posted by birdman829

TH = gaper?

No, but it's a pretty dumb thing to say.