Best Gaper qoute of the weekend?

Helldawg · 02-13-2009, 10:41 AM

In the Gondi, at a hill in VT:

Me: Lets hit up (run-x)

Snowboarding Acquaintance: Fuck that dude, that's a diamond!

Me: So? You're a pretty good rider.

SA: Yeah but diamonds have bumps. You can't do bumps on a board.

[Pregnant Pause]

Skiing Buddy: No, YOU can't do bumps on a board.

Everyone: [Snickers]

**DoWork** · 02-13-2009, 12:40 PM

Read on one of those "other" interwebz forums...

"What the hell is this metal hook for on my ski pants' leg cuff for? It hurts like hell when I buckle my boots down on it."

Funny for so many reasons.

**johngenx** · 02-13-2009, 01:11 PM

Originally Posted by Helldawg

In the Gondi, at a hill in VT:

Me: Lets hit up (run-x)

Snowboarding Acquaintance: Fuck that dude, that's a diamond!

Me: So? You're a pretty good rider.

SA: Yeah but diamonds have bumps. You can't do bumps on a board.

[Pregnant Pause]

Skiing Buddy: No, YOU can't do bumps on a board.

Everyone: [Snickers]

Did you have that pre-approved by Brock to ensure it was to his standard of "not cunting up his thread?" 'Cause I'll be honest with you, it's funny, but it's one of those moments that is MUCH funnier in person thanks to timing, expression, and so on.

And hey, I wish I was there. I love Snickers bars..

**Nathan Explosion** · 02-13-2009, 01:15 PM

Originally Posted by johngenx

Did you have that pre-approved by Brock to ensure it was to his standard of "not cunting up his thread?" 'Cause I'll be honest with you, it's funny, but it's one of those moments that is MUCH funnier in person thanks to timing, expression, and so on.

And hey, I wish I was there. I love Snickers bars..

Congratulations on being a complete jackass.

And I would know, I'm a huge jackass, but I haven't yet made it as far as "complete".

You're an inspiration.

**skiingsamurai** · 02-13-2009, 02:27 PM

its presidents weekend, get ready for the best of the best from the gapers

**khyber.pass** · 02-13-2009, 04:14 PM

Heard today on Symphony Chair, Flute Bowl, Whistler:

"Why don't they groom in the trees?"

**paulster2626** · 02-13-2009, 04:24 PM

Originally Posted by khyber.pass

Heard today on Symphony Chair, Flute Bowl, Whistler:

"Why don't they groom in the trees?"

If reading your previous posts did not tell me that you are a somewhat credible person, I would never believe this.

Best quote ever.

**AbsolutStoli** · 02-13-2009, 09:51 PM

had a few on thursday at breck.

on the bus from the parking lots, older guy in a purple one-piece. his wife said that his shirt was inside out, to which he says "so are my underwear." lol the guy was funny though, ill give him that. he also liked the naked chick on my skis and told me to take care of her.

then later that day, im riding the peak 8 superconnect because i wanted to check out peak 8 a little. my face is covered in snow (all sticking to my beard), dude with a southern drawl looks at me and goes "looks like you've been to the top." i chuckle and tell him that ive been playing on chair 6 all day, and its real good over there. he asks me "are there any groomers over there?" doh!

**Meadow Skipper** · 02-13-2009, 09:57 PM

Originally Posted by khyber.pass

Heard today on Symphony Chair, Flute Bowl, Whistler:

"Why don't they groom in the trees?"

Riding the lift one day with a Texan: "Why don't they just have porta-potties all over the mountain?"

**kiks** · 02-14-2009, 07:40 AM

I don't think Euro guys can compete with Texans, but here's my 2 ct:
-Gondola. Grinning guy in tight pants looking at my ARGs says to his buddies in a louder-than-necessary voice, so I can hear it too: " I didn't know there was a lake up there!"

**LittleWoodsie** · 02-14-2009, 08:03 AM

Originally Posted by kiks

I don't think Euro guys can compete with Texans, but here's my 2 ct:
-Gondola. Grinning guy in tight pants looking at my ARGs says to his buddies in a louder-than-necessary voice, so I can hear it too: " I didn't know there was a lake up there!"

You should have asked him why he was wearing wetsuit pants then.

**kbuzz** · 02-14-2009, 11:03 AM

I hope some of you hard core's enjoy this Gaper Within a Gaper Moment:

So im a semi gaper myself having to live in nyc but i do get to alta bird often. Anyway in Jan we have a semi pow day at the bird and i take out a pair of Rossi s7s for the day. There are no other fatties for demo- which is sad but another story

This by itself could be construed as gaperdom. But continue with me. Anyway, im holding them outside against my shoulder waiting for my buddy to come out and two chubby gents come up to me with eyes a blazing and dont say anything, just staring mouths "agape" at me. The first one says:

Can I touch it?

I was not too sharp but there were a number of size type comebacks i wanted to unleash. e.g. "ever see one this big before"

In the grand stream of perspective it made me feel a little less gaperish....

PS The S7s did pretty well in the tiger tail area...wonder what other rocker types might do....

**TeleHoar** · 02-14-2009, 01:33 PM

I saw a guy in Downtown Breck, yesterday, looking around all lost like. He kept referring to his Breckenridge TRAIL map.

**toast2266** · 02-14-2009, 04:26 PM

At Brighton today, some snowboarder was standing at the top of a very minor choke, apparently "scoping his line". I ski past him, through the choke. He yells something about "his line." My wife skis down, also through the choke. Snowboarder yells "thanks a lot gapers!" Wife tells him to fuck off and quit standing around if he's so concerned about people taking his line.

I thought it was funny.

**OSECS** · 02-14-2009, 04:42 PM

Originally Posted by toast2266

At Brighton today, some snowboarder was standing at the top of a very minor choke, apparently "scoping his line". I ski past him, through the choke. He yells something about "his line." My wife skis down, also through the choke. Snowboarder yells "thanks a lot gapers!" Wife tells him to fuck off and quit standing around if he's so concerned about people taking his line.

I thought it was funny.

I love it when a "bitch slap" is almost literal.

**North** · 02-14-2009, 04:52 PM

My buddy and I ski by two gapetastic boarders in the lift line today, me on my 186 EHPs, him on whatever length the 180ish JJs come in. Gapetastic boarder starts explaining to his friend why our skis are improperly sized. "Yeah dude, they size skis based on how big your foot is, so those guys are definitely using skis that are way too big." Awesome.

**tensile** · 02-15-2009, 08:41 PM

cannot be explained.

**TacocaT** · 02-15-2009, 09:18 PM

^^^^^
is that owen wilson

Heard on the lift Thursday
"snowboarding is way better than skiing because you only have to remember one board when you go to the mountain"

**EVC_CO** · 02-15-2009, 09:29 PM

Today I was riding solo at copper and another guy on the lift in deep southern accent asked me how the weather was like at the top of the pommel horse.

took me a few seconds to realize he was talking about the Storm King POMA lift.
That'll teach me to ride the R.

**jwproulx** · 02-15-2009, 11:58 PM

I was lapping the Challenger complex at Mary Jane today, but riding the singles line on Super Gauge (it's usually faster when you're alone than Challenger, I've found).

Today was the day everyone decided to ask me what's in my pack. What the hell, it's a pack, I keep shit in it. And I'm hardly the only person carrying a pack on the mountain. I get that question sometimes, but this time it was every other lift ride. One guy got pretty worked up about the idea that I might really need it sometimes. He said, "I've been sking for 30 years, and I've never skied anything I needed a pack for." I pointed out the Indian Peaks; he was unconvinced. Then he complained that Hole In The Wall is too narrow and has a dogleg. I think he was annoyed when I said it was "kind of steep."

**Ccard257** · 02-16-2009, 08:12 AM

I was hanging out at a buddy's truck having a beer after skiing at copper yestersday and a fine specamin started heading our way. 80's green jacket, camo fanny pack, a method of ski cary that I had never witnessed. He had the heelpieces of his bindings resting on his poles and his poles over his shoulder hobo style so that the skis were vertical behind his back, balanced on the poles. My buddy said something to him and he stopped and proceded to extoll the virtues of the hobo style ski carry.

**clarnitty** · 02-16-2009, 11:24 AM

ha ha, had to post in this epic thread because it is high gaper season in alta, afterall.

I work at a chalet as a server/sous-chef. My boss, Bob, is awesome--puts up with some serious gaper comments while maintaining great composure. Last week:

Guest: Bob, how come you never ski with powder cords? They are soooo great.
Bob: Because the point of skiing powder is to ski in control and not lose your shit.
Guest: Well I can't believe you wouldn't even try it.
Bob: Have you ever looked at the tag when you buy them? It says "Beater Cords."
Guest: Well, I don't know what you're talking about, but you're wrong for not using them.

**abe froman** · 02-16-2009, 11:30 AM

Riding the chair with a dude from St. Louis and another from Tenn.

Dude from St. Louis: What is the difference between a blue square and a green circle?

Dude from Tenn: I don't know. I think the green trails are wider......

**skiingsamurai** · 02-16-2009, 11:59 AM

Originally Posted by Ccard257

I was hanging out at a buddy's truck having a beer after skiing at copper yestersday and a fine specamin started heading our way. 80's green jacket, camo fanny pack, a method of ski cary that I had never witnessed. He had the heelpieces of his bindings resting on his poles and his poles over his shoulder hobo style so that the skis were vertical behind his back, balanced on the poles. My buddy said something to him and he stopped and proceded to extoll the virtues of the hobo style ski carry.

Arkansas A frame?

**jwproulx** · 02-16-2009, 12:15 PM

So, Abe, what is the difference? You have to pole harder and skate more on green circles?

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