Thread: Best Gaper qoute of the weekend?
01-20-2008, 08:02 PM #26
In the parking lot at Fernie during the holidays, I heard this one guy from Alberta say, " What is with all this fancy gear, all I need to keep me warm and dry are my Cardhart overalls."
I guess if its good for the patch, its good for the hill"A lack of planning and preparation on your part does not make it an emergency on my part."
01-20-2008, 08:12 PM #27
"Its a cannon. They use it to shoot down avalanches from those chutes up there."
-Woman explaining to her friends what the snowgun under the lift was.
01-20-2008, 08:27 PM #28
Ran into a group of people coming out of the white pine trail head yesterday with their downhill gear. They noticed I had a BC setup:
"I think you guys are on to something with this back country stuff, I could never have an experience like that at a resort."
01-20-2008, 08:27 PM #29
no quote from this weekend. Just what I saw while tooling around at bolton
A guy wearing an avalung.
01-20-2008, 08:41 PM #30Registered User
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- Nov 2007
In the lift line, a kid next to me asks his mother "why are those ski poles bent" (referring to a guy with curved poles). "Shhh. Some people aren't as fortunate as we are"
01-20-2008, 08:45 PM #31
while eating lunch today, a gaper saw our beacon and said, "why would you want to ski the BC when the bumps in the resort are soooooo good."ROLL TIDE ROLL
01-20-2008, 08:46 PM #32
01-20-2008, 08:48 PM #33
01-20-2008, 08:48 PM #34
I'm riding the lift with a dude and his girlfriend.
deuche bag: So how was all the powder? (says it very sarcastically showing off for his girly, only an inch of new snow)
Me: actually these are my hardpack skis (gots)
deuche: well you must not be from around here because those don't work here.
He then feels the need to explain to me all the reasons my skis are wrong and his are right all while impressing the girlie-so being the good guy I am I preceded to hit on his woman once at the top he says he wants to see me ski so I straight line the 400 vert of double black gnar and for some reason never see him again.........I win
btw this is at boyne mtn.
01-20-2008, 08:54 PM #35
i havent heard anyone mention the classic, "WATCH THIS!(southern twang)"
followed by a massive crash
kinda like M.Cumsteins Lake Chutes video
or the kid who tried one of the booters in the park today. i dont know if anyone saw it, but this snowboarder pretty much looked like he was sitting in a lawnchair about 20' off of the ground
the landing was not pretty
01-20-2008, 09:02 PM #36
the skis i just picked up from a swap have a hows my skiing sticker which i have yet to remove, and someone said, thats a funny sticker, whats the hotline?
also, numerous neon abundant and 40 year old masters racer asked me why my karmas were so fat, and that they must be great in the deep snow here at stowe
i proceeded to keep right up with his gs turns and pass him.http://coldsmokechronicles.blogspot.com
"If we can't bring the mountain to the party, let's bring the PARTY to the MOUNTAIN!"
"especially if you beat it like AKPM on a lonely alaskan night" brice618
I told you I was retarded!!!!
and the truth comes out
01-20-2008, 09:32 PM #37
01-20-2008, 09:57 PM #38
Gaper on the gondola with early 90s straight skis, commenting on my PEs: "Wow those are fat skis, any fatter and you might as well strap one of those goofy snowboards to your feat".
01-20-2008, 10:04 PM #39
I work at a rental shop over the holidays to get a free pass when I'm back home.
I had a customer come up to me this year to get skis. I looked at his little form, which said he was an intermediate skier. Since I work at Buttermilk, I ussually ask a couple questions to double check this.
"So what kinds of runs to you like?"
"You know, do you stick mostly to blue runs, or do you skis some blacks too?"
"Oh, I've never skied out here, but I can ski plenty of blacks."
"Oh, ok, where have you skied before?"
"Just North Carolina."
"I didn't know they have blacks in N. Carolina."
"Oh they have plenty. I don't think any skiers out here can handle N. Carolina's terrain."
This last bit was said without a hint of sarcasm, and just a little arrogance.__________________________________________________ __________________________________________________ ________________
"We don't need predator control, we need whiner control. Anyone who complains that "the gummint oughta do sumpin" about the wolves and coyotes should be darted, caged, and released in a more suitable habitat for them, like the middle of Manhattan." - Spats
"I'm constantly doing things I can't do. Thats how I get to do them." - Pablo Picasso
01-20-2008, 10:07 PM #40
01-20-2008, 10:10 PM #41
01-20-2008, 10:14 PM #42Registered User
- Join Date
- Dec 2007
- happy place
Today I heard a gaper say "Hey guys! Great day! Where you headed?" "Oh, how is coming out in the dark?"Summit: The Nancy Grace of TGR
01-20-2008, 10:16 PM #43
There i was, perusing a sweet TR:
It's all about sincerity, once you can fake that you have it made.
01-20-2008, 10:24 PM #44
01-20-2008, 10:36 PM #45SEND IT!!
- Join Date
- Jan 2008
not exactly skiing related, but something funny...
overheard some guy talking to a friend...
"dude, let's take a piss in the snow! i've only ever done it two times before..."
01-20-2008, 11:54 PM #46
There are some good ones in this thread. I recently did a month of hard time in the retail trenches. I almost always have saintlike patience with the gapers, having honed my skills in this regard over the better part of a decade.
But if I have to listen to one more Right Coast fucktard question whether or not there actually is skiing in New Mexico, I'm going to get arrested for assault.If you're a relatively moral, ethical person, there's no inherent drive to kiss ass and beg for forgiveness and promise to never do it again, which is what mostly goes on in church. -YetiMan
01-21-2008, 01:16 AM #47Registered User
- Join Date
- Jun 2007
- Raleigh, NC
01-21-2008, 01:19 AM #48
So I was waxing some of my skis today. A friend swung in and I waxed his board for him. I noticed that he had a shocked look on his face for the price of ski wax. I ignored it. He then asked me why I don't just use candle wax? I stood there and let that one sink in a little bit.........-Chris
01-21-2008, 01:51 AM #49
Heard a couple of good ones at St Moritz a couple of years ago.
English lady with the poshest voice you have ever heard "where have you boys been skiing?"
Us Aussie dirtbags "over there" pointing to a small powder bowl between two groomers
English lady "ooo I never go off piste without my guide"
About ten mins later at the top of the chair we see a family group lead by a hard arse british army looking guy with a mostache. His family look so depressed. We soon found out why when he poled away bellowing at the top of his lungs "BEGIN". It became our chant for the rest of the trip."When the mountains speak, wise men listen" -John Muir
01-21-2008, 04:58 AM #50
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