Best Gaper qoute of the weekend?

[peds]

I think the girl in the photo there is just trying to work on her switch.

Many years ago, when I was working in the French resort of Les Arcs for a few winters, there was a restobar up the hill that would build a pond skim outside towards the end of the season, and it was a common sight to see a few hundred people hanging out there in the afternoon on sunny days. It was a pretty short length of water, and me and my friends got quite good at going over it straight, with no funny business. Boarding friends started popping 180s or whatever on their attempts, sometimes with a splash and sometimes with success. Good times were had by all.

One day, after a few demi-peches, I decided to have a go at it switch (I had never skied switch before, it wasn't something I'd ever been inclined to try), but because I was skiing on a pair of Salomon Pocket Rockets (the blue ones) with the bindings mounted about a foot behind the centre line, I knew that my weight would be too far forward on the ski (when facing the wrong way) and I'd just arse-over-tit backwards straight into the deep end. So I wandered off to the side, got out my multitool, raised the toepiece on the binding far enough to accept my heel, and voila! Amphibious freeride-mounted skis. Now, my weight would naturally be on the back of the ski when I hit the pond, my tips would sail clear of the water, and I'd skim straight across, switch, with a chorus of whoops and cheers ringing heavily in my ears, to a long line of smokin' bitches all fighting for the first go at my considerable genitalia. I would be a king.

I wasn't sure what happened then, and if I think about it too much now, I still can't work out why this didn't work. The physics were sound (to my mind), but regardless of my calculations, I still got thrown backwards (forwards... towards the front... which way am I facing again?) into the pond as soon as my skis left snow and hit water. My shins took such a beating that I could barely get home, and I didn't ski for about three days after that. Anyway, there were no cheers, there was a lot of whooping (but most of it derisory), and there was no long line of smokin' bitches all waiting for their turn to hop on.

Perhaps the good people of TGR could dissect my experiment and explain to me in words of very few syllables exactly what went wrong?

Thanks guys, you're the best.

[From_the_NEK]

^^ I wanna see the video of her getting of the lift

How do you know it's a "her"?

[stuckathuntermtn]

..

Perhaps the good people of TGR could dissect my experiment and explain to me in words of very few syllables exactly what went wrong?

Thanks guys, you're the best.

You were drunk and it seemed like a good idea at the time?
What's every redneck's last words? "hold my beer and watch this!"

[tavis]

It's true. physics are different when you're drunk.

[east or bust]

It's true. physics are different when you're drunk.

I can confirm.

[eaaro30]

Sitting in class while the kid behind me had been watching me surf the interwebz, he started talking to me about skiing, then the inevitable,"You seem to know what you're talking about, are you sponsored?" ​Always on point.

[TahoeJ]

#humblebrag

[My Pet Powder Goat]

Rossi Cuts were the pride of the rental fleet.

The yellow ones certainly were! Had some friends at Sugarbush rentals '97 that reinforced them with carbon layup. It was the ski that got me off the snowboard and back on skis

[jonesy]

Was an instructor when shaped skis came into the rental cycle. So they handed us some Elan 130cm with a Titanium plate under the bindings. Those little shits could really carve. Just don't let them leave the snow............

[TomCrac]

Group of 5 or 6 heading to the lift with their gear. One straggler yelling up to them... "HEY, do any of you's remember what my skis looked like?"

[core2]

Riding with two boarders on the lift. Guy says to other guy, "Hey look at those cars up on the top of the mountain. How did they get those cars up there?" Friend is confused and points to some gummi worm tracks and goes "OH you mean CARVES." Thankfully they both got off mid-way.

[the_kid]

On Lone Tree at Big Sky the other day:
"It's weird the way they have this face laid out; I wish they would move these trees up above the cliff."

[mall walker]

On Lone Tree at Big Sky the other day:
"It's weird the way they have this face laid out; I wish they would move these trees up above the cliff."

Inconsiderate landscape architect

[DaBombholer]

Hey! He's skiing switch?

[TahoeJ]

Driving towards Olympic Valley tonight... behind a car with the box top propped wide open. It was also really windy so I kept waiting for the lid to just snap right off but it never happened. My Thule doesn't even let you remove the key if it's not shut properly, but I guess that's not the case for all of them.

[Smoova]

Not really gaper, but pretty funny to me. Riding Pano at Winter Park with my two boys and three teenage boarders.

Boarder 1: "Does your board have a name?"
Boarder 2: "Uh, no."
Boarder 1: "Oh man, you've got to name your board."
Boarder 2: "What's your mom's name again? 'Susan' right? I'll call my board 'Susan' 'cause I'm gonna ride her so fucking hard all day."
Boarder 3: " ......... that's so wrong."

My 10 year-old can't stop laughing and my 7 year-old keeps asking what's so funny ...

[mall walker]

Saw a guy in the bar at Solitude yesterday. Full North Face one piece fart bag, Petzl fanny pack (wtf?), orange Maestrales and glacier glasses. So core. Wanted to ask where his harness and ice tools were. Didn't see him ski so he may well shred the gnars though.

[old goat]

Saw a guy in the bar at Solitude yesterday. Full North Face one piece fart bag, Petzl fanny pack (wtf?), orange Maestrales and glacier glasses. So core. Wanted to ask where his harness and ice tools were. Didn't see him ski so he may well shred the gnars though.

We're still waiting . . .

[skimaxpower]

Saw a guy in the bar at Solitude yesterday. Full North Face one piece fart bag, Petzl fanny pack (wtf?), orange Maestrales and glacier glasses. So core. Wanted to ask where his harness and ice tools were. Didn't see him ski so he may well shred the gnars though.

As a general rule the boots are a good clue to sort the true Gapers from the Gaper-Day-Celebrants.

[stuckathuntermtn]

People out on our oh so drying and not covered in snow trails were amazed I rode around on a bike up and down hills. Never really got that before since sometimes it seems like half of Missoula mountain bikes and 75% of them probably do it better than me.
Yes, I rode up the hill.
Yes, I can ride down too. It's called brakes.

[hatchgreenchile]

Saw a guy in the bar at Solitude yesterday. Full North Face one piece fart bag, Petzl fanny pack (wtf?), orange Maestrales and glacier glasses. So core. Wanted to ask where his harness and ice tools were. Didn't see him ski so he may well shred the gnars though.

Training for Alaska right?

[D-Roc]

"Watch out its really powdery over there!"

(Looked down and shook my head)

[bikeorski]

As a general rule the boots are a good clue to sort the true Gapers from the Gaper-Day-Celebrants.

Agreed, this one was definitely a #skiactor

[coldfeet]

Saw a guy in the bar at Solitude yesterday. Full North Face one piece fart bag, Petzl fanny pack (wtf?), orange Maestrales and glacier glasses. So core. Wanted to ask where his harness and ice tools were. Didn't see him ski so he may well shred the gnars though.

Idle comment: I have a Petzl fanny pack. It came as the packaging for a climbing harness. I don't think they're expanding into the accessorizing area, although maybe they should be competing with Grivel's line of stylish manpurses.

[southern_expat]

I recently drove all the way home from the Mtn. with my foldable lawn chair on top of my truck. Not sure how it stayed up there doing over 80 MPH's or how I managed to not look a Gaper.