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  1. #501
    Join Date
    Feb 2007
    Location
    i'm from vermont, i do what i want
    Posts
    38
    Quote Originally Posted by T-Boz View Post
    NOt a quote, but gapers always seem to bring bottle water with them to the mountains like their getting ready for a nuclear war or something. I work at a hotel in squaw and we have some of the best water in the country from the tap out of artisian wells no chemicles added and gapers still insists of bringing cases of evian, and aquafina. Waste of plastic.
    i hear that, people bug out when they come up from nj to vt and i tell them the cabin gets water from a well, it is really good.

    they look at me funny and go straight for the poland spring.
    "Spent a little time on the mountain
    Spent a little time on the hill
    Heard some say better run away
    Others say you better stand still"
    -GD

  2. #502
    Join Date
    Jul 2006
    Location
    LCC
    Posts
    320
    At Squatters, SLC:

    Me: "Good weekend to pick to come out to Utah."
    Gaper: "It's not bad, kinda cold."
    Me: "Yeah, it's chillier than it's been. Where have you been skiing?"
    Gaper: "Deer Valley. What's the local's picks around there?"
    Me: "At DV? uhhhhh, I hear the trees stay pretty good. I never ski there."
    Gaper: "Why not? Where do you ski?"
    Me: "LCC....Alta and Snowbird"
    Gaper: "I don't get it. Everybody always talks about Snowbird. I went there once, and it f*cking sucked. They don't groom sh*t."
    Me: "Where are you from?"
    Gaper: "Connecticut."
    Me: "Thanks for the beer."
    ...so I got that goin' for me, which is nice.

  3. #503
    Join Date
    Oct 2007
    Location
    Marquette MI
    Posts
    1,961
    Not a quote, but more something I saw happen.

    Standing in like to have my ticket scanned, I catch a gaper skiing up, ticket taker asks for his ticket, he pulls up his jacket to reveal..

    His ticket (a day pass) is stuck on his wicket, except unlike the traditional way to do it, he has not removed the covering one the sticky stuff, he has simply speared it through the part where hte wicket comes open, and bent it around so it doesn't come off.

    The scanner dude takes a look at it and says
    "Uh oh your ticket isn't on right, let me help you there"
    He proceeds to put it on the right way while the gaper stands there with an ill be danged face on.

  4. #504
    Join Date
    Dec 2006
    Location
    DAWGnation
    Posts
    637
    "Falling down is more fun than the skiing"

  5. #505
    Join Date
    Feb 2008
    Posts
    11
    I was waiting at the bottom of the lift for the rest of my group and talking to my friend that was bumping chairs. A guy comes to get on the chair and asks what kind of skis I have. I reply dynastar mythic rider. So he asks "What are those for?". I said "Uhh skiing"

  6. #506
    Join Date
    Dec 2006
    Location
    Aspen CO
    Posts
    46
    Up at Snowmass today (god why the fuck did I ski today, so many spring break asses)...lady on the chair next to me asks if I have the phone number for the grooming department, she wanted to complain that ski had to ski across ruts in the snow made by other people. I told they take Sundays off from Snowmass and only groom at Buttermilk

  7. #507
    Join Date
    Nov 2007
    Location
    The in-between
    Posts
    956
    I witnessed this conversation between two boarders and a patroller today.

    2B's: Why is the gate closed on the Knob?

    P: Because there was a slide there yesterday and we have get someone over there to check the stability.

    2B's: Yeah. We started the slide! We dropped the little bowl and it broke right behind us!

    P: You started it? Yesterday? How big was it?

    2B's: About 6 inches deep, maybe 25 yards across. Not very big. We want to go back today and kick off another one.

    P: What?

    2B's: We want to go back. You know, finish it up.

    P: Are you serious? Do you guys even have beacons? A shovel?

    2B's: Naw, man. Beacons are overrated.

    P: Go ask at the patrol building, but I don't think it'll open today.
    Shut your eyes and think of somewhere. Somewhere cold and caked with snow.

  8. #508
    Join Date
    Mar 2008
    Location
    drivin da magic ski bus
    Posts
    125
    heard under the chair lift by a teenage girl at pomerelle mtn resort, ID. There was a group of about 400 baptists youth there, 95% of which were obviously first timers. " If you point these straight down the hill, you go faster"

  9. #509
    Join Date
    Nov 2006
    Location
    In a state of confusion.........
    Posts
    174
    Quote Originally Posted by JabbaTheHuck View Post
    " If you point these straight down the hill, you go faster"
    She is correct. I tried it today. It works.
    Quote Originally Posted by uncle crud View Post
    Of course. Classic backpedal. Nice work, Neptune Whore.

  10. #510
    Join Date
    Oct 2007
    Location
    East Canchuckistan
    Posts
    110
    buddy clicks in his Trekkers to start a quick skin in to where our Avy course is training when one of the women in the group asks "Are those the new Duke bindings I've heard about?"
    __________________________________________________ _
    "Son, when you participate in sporting events, its not whether you win or loose, its how drunk you get." - Homer Simpson

  11. #511
    Join Date
    Oct 2007
    Location
    GainesVegas
    Posts
    177
    Quote Originally Posted by KillingCokes View Post
    Breckenridge used to make bump lines for the world cup every year, when they had the event on Pk 9. They used a cat going up at an angle then went up again at the opposite angle.
    Clearly he did not know that though. And they dont do that for every run on the mountain anyway.
    Sexual climax lasts mere moments; but Deep Powder is extended Nirvana.

  12. #512
    Join Date
    Oct 2006
    Location
    Killington, VT
    Posts
    144
    Quote Originally Posted by mrkristofo View Post
    At Squatters, SLC:

    Me: "Good weekend to pick to come out to Utah."
    Gaper: "It's not bad, kinda cold."
    Me: "Yeah, it's chillier than it's been. Where have you been skiing?"
    Gaper: "Deer Valley. What's the local's picks around there?"
    Me: "At DV? uhhhhh, I hear the trees stay pretty good. I never ski there."
    Gaper: "Why not? Where do you ski?"
    Me: "LCC....Alta and Snowbird"
    Gaper: "I don't get it. Everybody always talks about Snowbird. I went there once, and it f*cking sucked. They don't groom sh*t."
    Me: "Where are you from?"
    Gaper: "Connecticut."
    Me: "Thanks for the beer."
    i like the beer bong tap things they serve there. good stuff.

  13. #513
    Join Date
    Jan 2008
    Location
    truckee
    Posts
    1,266
    This happened a few years ago--there's about a quarter mile line of cars waiting to turn into Alpine Meadows. Guy passes the whole line of cars on the wrong side of the road, forces his way into line right behind me. We turn into Alpine Meadows road, the road is solid ice. The guy passes me on a blind curve, gets into the lot about 30 seconds before me, gets out of his car and puts on a helmet. Safety first I guess.

  14. #514
    Join Date
    Dec 2005
    Location
    Top o Parleys
    Posts
    913
    Overheard in line and on the chair (he was one chair back) at Gad 2 Sunday.

    "I've got a buddy who camps all the time"
    "I've got a buddy who is an awesome rock climber."

    Lots o buddies that do shit, but not him I guess.

    Happy St. Patricks Day. Now go drink a beer.
    sigless.

  15. #515
    Join Date
    Nov 2005
    Location
    Nearby, Not too close
    Posts
    537
    Quote Originally Posted by JabbaTheHuck View Post
    heard under the chair lift by a teenage girl at pomerelle mtn resort, ID. There was a group of about 400 baptists youth there, 95% of which were obviously first timers. " If you point these straight down the hill, you go faster"
    I rode up with a skier and newbie snowboarder gf. She watched the skiers below turning side to side and asked bf "do you do that?" he said yes. she asked "if you go straight do you go fast?" He said yes. she then said, "Then I don't want to do that."
    Battle lines being drawn, nobody’s right if everybody’s wrong, old people speaking their minds, getting so much resistance from behind.

  16. #516
    Join Date
    Jun 2005
    Location
    Vancouver, Canuckland
    Posts
    29
    I was on the peak chair at whistler yesterday and overheard a dad explaining the finer points of avalanche control to his son as we went over the bomb tram.

    Kid: "Whats that dad?"
    Dad: "Thats a bomb tram, they use it to place bombs in those rocks"
    Kid: "How does it work?"
    Dad: "Well the patroller wears a harness and hangs off the cable. He then wheels out over the rocks and he drops the bomb in. Then he wheels back quickly before it blows up".
    Kid: "Wow!"
    Worshiping the Temple for Life - www.templebasin.co.nz

  17. #517
    Join Date
    Mar 2008
    Location
    --> coast
    Posts
    1,989
    Quote Originally Posted by ski3 P O View Post
    JONG joins TGR then posts about making super gnar GS turns at Magic.

    Oh wait, that was you..........................
    I have to say, our GS turns were super gnar as I said in my first post about it. Oh wait, I don't see anything about that....................
    also if you are interested I was a longtime member and then my fucking account deleted itself so I had to join again

  18. #518
    Join Date
    Aug 2006
    Location
    G Town
    Posts
    649
    On the skate uphill portion of the Chair 9 high traverse at Loveland today passing a struggling starter jacket and he turns to me and says...
    This isn't designed very well.
    Almost busted a nut and fell off the traverse!

  19. #519
    Join Date
    Jan 2004
    Location
    the Low Sierra
    Posts
    4,800
    Quote Originally Posted by montanaskier View Post
    at the Beav today, some Maggot gaper asked DaHeel if he knew which way to go....and then he followed him

    fixed it for you
    sorry

    I'm blind in my right ear, I can't smell a thing you're doing.

  20. #520
    Helldawg Guest

    Finally...

    Something original and pretty amusing!

    Getting pretty tired of the 77 "Where do they put the moguls", and the 52 "When do the deer become elk" posts.

    (and no, I have nothing useful to contribute, all skiers in NY [especially Huntah] are experts, not gapers.)

    Quote Originally Posted by Yukonrider View Post
    Not a quote, but more something I saw happen.

    Standing in like to have my ticket scanned, I catch a gaper skiing up, ticket taker asks for his ticket, he pulls up his jacket to reveal..

    His ticket (a day pass) is stuck on his wicket, except unlike the traditional way to do it, he has not removed the covering one the sticky stuff, he has simply speared it through the part where hte wicket comes open, and bent it around so it doesn't come off.

    The scanner dude takes a look at it and says
    "Uh oh your ticket isn't on right, let me help you there"
    He proceeds to put it on the right way while the gaper stands there with an ill be danged face on.

  21. #521
    Join Date
    Oct 2007
    Location
    Jackson
    Posts
    17
    Alright, alright. I was the Gaper this weekend. First lap EVER in Granite Canyon (endless to mile long in waist deep pow all the way down, gimped with a knee brace from a torn MCL in Jan.) Boyfriend with a cracked shoulder in arm sling insists on carrying my skis on part of the never ending side step/traverse out. Tells me to turn around and look up, Amazing sun hitting a gorgeous peak. My reaction- "Is that the GRAND?" yuk yuk.
    "I'm a child of mother nature, what do you expect?" Malibu

  22. #522
    Join Date
    Jan 2007
    Posts
    17
    At KT a month or so ago,
    Do those fat skis make you faster in the powder?
    Ahhh, they are better in the powder.
    No, do they make you faster?

  23. #523
    Join Date
    Nov 2006
    Location
    In a state of confusion.........
    Posts
    174
    Quote Originally Posted by Wes Mantooth View Post
    I have to say, our GS turns were super gnar as I said in my first post about it. Oh wait, I don't see anything about that....................
    also if you are interested I was a longtime member and then my fucking account deleted itself so I had to join again
    Lighten up Francis.
    Quote Originally Posted by uncle crud View Post
    Of course. Classic backpedal. Nice work, Neptune Whore.

  24. #524
    Join Date
    Jan 2008
    Location
    S-E-A-T-O-W-N
    Posts
    1,454
    Quote Originally Posted by ggski View Post
    Almost busted a nut and fell off the traverse!
    That phrase... I do not think it means what you think it means.
    that's all i can think of, but i'm sure there's something else...

  25. #525
    Join Date
    Aug 2006
    Location
    G Town
    Posts
    649
    Way to sneak in the Inigo Montoya quote!

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